


Live and Let Die

by 1stPrelude



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Action, Angst, Bennefrost - Freeform, Coming of Age, Fluff, Jack x Jamie, Lemon, M/M, Romance, Slow Build, Violence, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-04-11 10:07:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 108,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4431179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1stPrelude/pseuds/1stPrelude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>After turning 13, Jack stopped visiting Jamie. But there was a reason. A fate that could destroy Jack, should it come to pass. But will he have to go through with it to save the last light from darkness? / fluff/ angst / lemon / yaoi / BenneFrost / JackxJamie / Rated M for eventual / sexual language / cursing / and violence [appropriate warnings given at beginning of chapters]</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  **So I'm an idiot and accidentally deleted the whole story instead of a drafted chapter. Hopefully everyone who was reading this can find it again...**
> 
>  
> 
> **This story is Bennefrost and is rated M for later chapters. Appropriate warnings will be underlined at the start of each chapter. So don't let the M-rating keep you from reading. :)**
> 
> **It will also be the second story I have written. I'm actually super surprised how little BenneFrost there is out there. (Only 14, wut?!) So I plan on a good ol' hurt/comfort/angst/romance that also brings up some important questions about life and such.**
> 
> **(Everyone will be of consenting age. AKA no statutory rape. No thanks.)**
> 
> **So please enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated.**  
> 

Prologue

**~B~**  
"Jack!" I called as I burst out of my house only to see the world blanketed in a protective layer of snow. It was my birthday and school was cancelled…There was no way that this was a coincidence.

"Jamie!" I heard Pippa yell from across the street. As quickly as she could, she trudged through the dense sea of snow to make her way over to me.

I quickly zipped up my coat and jumped off my porch to meet Pippa. Looking around, I waved as I saw Monty, Claude, Caleb, and Cupcake coming out of their houses down the street as well.

"Have you seen him?!" I asked excitedly as I stumbled a little and grabbed Pippa's arms to hold myself steady.

She laughed as I tripped and replied, "No. But he's gotta be around here somewhere…" She turned her head as she saw the twins and Monty approach. "We'll just have to make him come out…" she said mischievously.

I smiled knowing what she meant and then quickly bent down to pack a snowball, Pippa following my lead.

"Snowdayyy!" Claude and Caleb shouted as they broke into a run and charged towards Pippa and me.

Pippa and I both pitched our snowballs as hard as we could at the approaching boys, who both leaped off to either side of the sidewalk, leaving Monty wide-open.

Our snowballs collided into his head and chest, making Monty trip and fall face-first into the snow. But I knew he was ok. Monty was clumsy, but he was still tough.

Monty proved me right as he stood up laughing and rummaging around in the snow to collect a mass of weaponry for himself. The rest of us followed suit and fumbled to quickly gather ourselves a group of projectiles.

I saw Monty raise his arm with Claude and Caleb right behind him. Pippa and I assumed the position as well and we all froze, glaring at one another. I could almost hear the Old Wild West theme song whistle in the background. The tension was thicker than frozen custard…

Claude let out a shriek as an unusually large snowball struck him in the back of the head, scaring him into dropping his own snowball.

"GO!" Cupcake yelled as she leaped out from behind a tree.

The battle was on.

We ran and ducked and threw as fast as we could. I was hit so many times that I lost count and I threw so many snowballs, I don't even know if they hit. All that mattered was we were free.

Our snowball war had forced us to move to the nearby park as we tried to escape one another. Pippa was on my team while Claude, Caleb and Monty were against us. Cupcake was the wild card, throwing snow at anyone that came within her target zone.

After a while, we all fell panting and gasping into the white blanket. Cupcake started to absentmindedly make a snow angel next to me, while I just stared up into the grey, winter sky watching my hot breath freeze into small clouds each time I exhaled.

"Miss me?" a familiar voice said from behind my head.

"Jack!" I jumped in surprise and scrambled to stand up to greet the Guardian behind me. He stood there, looking like always in his blue, frosted hoodie, brown pants, and holding his hooked staff. I threw myself into him, wrapping my arms around his middle, and hugging him tightly.

"Urmph. Wow, Jamie, you've definitely grown since last year," he chuckled while reaching an arm around my shoulders to hug me back.

I pulled back from him and looked proudly up into his face, which was much closer than before. My head came up to his shoulders now.

"Yeah, well, I'm twelve now. My doctor says I'm about to go through a growth spurt soon!" I said as my friends gathered around us as well.

His lips pulled back into a one-sided smile as he looked down at me again. "Well, happy birthday, Jamie," he said a softer tone.

"Hey! How come you never give **us** a snow day on our birthday?" Claude protested.

"Because our birthday is in June, dum dum," Caleb answered for him shoving his brother a little.

Jack let out a hearty laugh and exclaimed excitedly, "Well, the day's not over yet! Let's have some fun!"

The snow spirit aimed his staff at the ground and let out a wave of magic. Very quickly several ice sleds were fashioned out of the glistening snow.

All of us cheered and rushed forward to grab one of the sparkling treasures before charging up the hill. Claude and Caleb dived onto the ice sleds and rocketed down the hill first.

They were so fast! I couldn't believe it and I couldn't wait to try them out myself. When it was my turn, I leaped onto my sled and slid over the lip of the hill.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I squinted as the cold air whipped past my face. It was like I was flying! I slid down the hill faster than I'd ever gone, before I collided into the large mound of soft, powdery snow that Jack had conjured at the bottom.

I poofed out of the pile, hooting and hollering, before grabbing my sled and running back up the hill. Jack skated around us, taking in all the joy and fun he was helping us have.

After I reached the top of the hill for the third time, I figured I should try something different. Since Jack was skating around on his ice and snow, maybe I should try the same…

I positioned my sled with my arms before pushing it over the edge and hopping into a crouched position while gripping the sides with my hands. As I neared the bottom, I stood up.

"Jamie, wait!" I heard Jack shout as my change in balance caused my sled to slide off-course.

I missed Jack's protective snow pile and instead skirted by it at top speed before flying off my sled. Thankfully, a tree stopped my trajectory.

I lay in the snow underneath the massive pine tree dazed and confused. I could hear my ears ringing and the faint echoes of my friends' voices as they made their way over to me.

Jack was in front of me in a second, crouched on the ground while holding his staff in one hand. "Jamie! Are you ok?" he asked with a worried expression on his face.

"Yeah…I'm ok," I said as I sat up and concentrated on making the world stop spinning.

"No, you're bleeding!" Jack said pointing above my eyes.

I reached up and gently wiped my fingers across my forehead before bringing them down to see that they were smudged with blood.

"It's ok, I'll fix it," Jack assured me.

But I didn't want to seem like a baby just for having a small cut... "No, Jack! Really, I'll be fine. I'll just-"

But my breath stopped as he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against my forehead. His kiss grew cold against my skin and he pulled back looking at me expectantly, but his face fell when he saw my expression.

"Jamie, what's wrong? Your face is all red…"

"I'm fine!" I said pushing him away from me. "I'm just really warm."

My friends finally reached us, panting and gasping from the long run. "Jamie! Are you alright?" "What's wrong?" "Are you hurt?"

"Guys! I'm fine!" I said standing up and brushing the snow off my coat. "Let's build a snow fort!" I added trying to change the subject.

Monty and Claude were immediately behind the idea and ran off to gather supplies. The rest of us followed close behind. As we were walking, I reached up to touch my forehead. The cut was gone...

I shyly glanced over at Jack only to see him still looking at me with the same concerned expression from before. I quickly turned my head and walked faster as I felt my face start to heat up again.

Why was I so bothered anyway? It's not like I haven't done the same thing to my sister when she was hurt.

Maybe it was just because no one near my age has ever kissed me before. Not that Jack was anywhere near my age, but he only looked to be a few years older than me. Maybe it was just because he was a boy. It was weird…

I shook the thoughts out of my mind so I could focus on having fun. It's not every day that the Guardian of Fun comes to visit anyway, so I need to enjoy it while I can. My birthdays with Jack have been some of the best memories of my life, I only wish that he came more often…

At the end of the day, after my mom had sent me to bed, I opened my window to let in the spirit I knew was waiting for me. I could tell he was near, as ice had frosted and crept up the panes of the glass.

"So did you have a good birthday?" Jack asked as he floated down and nimbly crouched on the edge of my window.

"Yeah! It was awesome, thank you so much!" I said as a grin spread across my face the moment I saw him appear.

"Not a problem kiddo," he replied as he hopped fully into my room.

"Do you give a lot of kids a snow day on their birthday?" I asked smirking and looking sideways at him.

Jack chuckled and leaned on his staff as he said, "No. But then again, you're the only one whose birthday I know."

The comment made my chest swell a little bit. I liked feeling like I was special to him.

After a short pause, Jack added, "Well, I have to get going, Jamie. Lots to do and besides, you need to listen to your mom and go to sleep."

It always seemed like he left as quickly as he appeared. I felt myself deflate a little bit and stepped forward so I could hug him again, "You promise to come next year, right?" I asked him this every year, even though he's given me snow on my birthday since the year I saw him for the first time But part of me just wanted to hear him confirm it.

Jack didn't answer right away, but instead leaned his staff against the wall before leaning over to hug me back. He was…comfortable. He wasn't cold like I had originally thought, just pleasantly cool. And he even smelled like winter.

"Yeah…I promise," he told me slowly as he squeezed me a little. "I'll always be there for you, Jamie."

The comment made me so happy, I could have cried. But I didn't. I didn't want him to think I was a crybaby.

"Alright, I'll see you later kid," he said as he ruffled my hair.

I shoved his hand away and retorted, "I bet I'll be as tall as you next year!"

Jack dropped his hand before reaching out to pick up his staff. "Yeah, we'll see…" he said. However, my smile quickly faded as I felt something was off with the way he said that. The Guardian of Fun looked…sad.

"I'll see you around," he said as he hopped onto my window ledge before being blown away by the winter wind.

...

And that was the last time I ever saw Jack Frost…


	2. A Night To Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **...**
> 
> **Just as a note, I'll show POV changes by ~F~ for Frost and ~B~ for Bennett.**

A Night to Remember

"So Jamie, did you find a date for the winter formal yet?"

"Uh…yeah. Pippa."

"God, finally. I thought you would never ask her," Alec replied in noticeable relief.

I bit my tongue as I put on my jacket and closed my gym locker. I didn't want to tell him that Pippa was the one who actually asked me to the dance. I didn't want to seem like a nervous underclassman in front of my team captain.

"Well, hey," he continued as he finished packing up his things, "I'm throwing an after-party up at my parents' cabin. You and Pippa should come."

I felt my eyes widen ever so slightly at the invitation. Alec was two years older than me. I knew he was a nice guy and a good leader, but I didn't expect him to want to hang out with me on his own terms.

"Uh…yeah that sounds awesome. Where is it?"

"I'll text you the address. It's not too far from here, just about a half hour or so," he said as he picked up his gym bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"Thanks," I responded looking up into his face and smiling a little in gratitude.

Alec warmly smiled back and replied, "Not a problem. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, see ya," I said as he walked around me to leave the locker room.

As he left, I felt my pocket vibrate and I knew that my mom had texted me letting me know she was here. I quickly picked up my own bag and exited the locker room and gym.

…

"So how was practice?" she asked after I had climbed into the seat next to her and buckled my seatbelt.

"Fine. Same as it always is, I guess," I told her. I know it's a parent's responsibility to check up on their kids, but life is just so freaking repetitive that nothing that interesting ever happens on a day-to-day basis. It seems like there should be better conversation-starters. It didn't help that we've run out of things to talk about. The car ride from my school to Sophie's school to home was ridiculously long. My school wasn't in our district, since it was a private school, so my mom had to always pick me up after she was done with work and then go to get Sophie from her after-school club.

"Well, do you think you'll be ready for your next meet?" she asked, taking her eyes off the road for a split second to glance over at me.

"Yeah…I think. The upperclassmen are all really good. And the coach is even going to bring in some martial artists occasionally to teach us different fighting techniques on top of what we've been practicing."

"Wow, that sounds exciting."

It did sound exciting. I was actually really happy that I had joined the wresting team. The other people on it and I all got along really well, and everyone was determined to kick butt in the meets and tournaments. The coaches were good trainers, and somehow made me feel more confident that my scrawny-self could actually win in a fight. Granted, I gained some muscle since I started training. But I never really saw myself as a physically capable person before. It made me feel good.

"So, are you ready for your first dance?" she asked sounding almost too curious.

"Come on, mom. It's not that big a deal. I'm just going with Pippa," I retorted back. Pippa and I had made a deal that if we both couldn't find dates by yesterday, we would go with each other. And it turned out the guy she wanted to ask already had a date, and I just wasn't debonair enough to ask anyone.

"Yeah, but I'm your mom. So everything you do is a big deal to me," she said throwing me a smile, which caused me to grin and roll my eyes. "Besides," she continued, "Even if you two just go as friends, you could still have a really good time."

I guess that was true. And there was the party Alec invited to me afterwards… Speaking of which.

"Hey mom," I asked trying to tread cautiously, "Could I borrow the car tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, of course. I was planning on letting you have it anyway," she said.

"Thanks…" I said while trying to delicately word my thoughts, "And would it be alright if I went over my Alec's house afterwards? He's having a team party since we have a meet next week."

It's not exactly a lie… After all, Alec or one of the other seniors would have a get-together the weekend before previous meets. It was to promote team morale or whatever. This was no different.

After a long pause, my mother finally gave me her answer, "Alright. But you know the rules. Text me when you get there and then before you leave for home. And keep your phone on you so I can call you."

A wave of relief washed through me and I felt myself sink into the car cushion. "Sure thing, mom," I said.

…

It seemed like a strange coincidence that the winter formal fell on Jamie's birthday. Of course, none of our friends at school knew this except me. And I promised Jamie to keep it quiet. I know how his birthday puts him in a bad mood.

I rang the doorbell to Jamie's house and waited. Even though I know Jamie and his family well enough to walk in unannounced, I felt that the current situation called for being traditional. It was cold, but at least there was no snow on the ground.

After a short moment, Jamie answered the door and his face lit up when he saw me, which caused my face to break out in an embarrassed smile. He looked good. He was already dressed and looked like he was just about to leave.

"Wow, Pippa. You look fantastic," he said opening the door more to let me in. "But aren't I supposed to come over and pick you up?"

"Yeah...well. You were taking too long," I teased.

He rolled his eyes, partly from my sarcasm and partly because his mom gasped when she rounded the corner to see me standing there.

"Oh, Pippa. You look beautiful! Come here, let me get a picture of you!" she said gesturing for me to stand by the stairs. I must have either made the right dress choice or both of them were just astounded to see me willingly wearing a dress. I wore the stupid uniform for school, but I always got in trouble for 'violating the dress code'. It peeved me so much that the girls were required to wear skirts, but the boys could wear pants.

Also by 'a picture', Mrs. Bennett really meant fifty pictures. She took photos of me, of Jamie, of Jamie and me, of us and Sophie, of us turned around to leave... You name it. Normally I would have been embarrassed by the attention, but I knew Jamie's family as if they were my family. Plus since my mom had to work late tonight at the hospital, she was depending on Mrs. Bennett for pictures.

"Alright you two have fun!" she called to us as we turned around to leave. "And don't forget to text me and Pippa's mom, Jamie!"

"For the thousandth time I won't forget, mom. Now can we go now?" he asked. I could tell he was getting irritated.

But Mrs. Bennett simply smiled at him and said, "Yes, I'm sorry. Go on and have a good time." She kissed Jamie and me goodbye and we both left to drive to the school.

"God, I thought we'd never get out of there," he exclaimed as he pulled out of his driveway in his mom's car.

"Oh come on, Jamie. She's just excited for us," I told him, trying to get him to lighten up.

"Not sure why…"

I snorted at his negativity. "She probably secretly hopes that we'll start dating or something and then live happily ever after," I said a little humorously. It's not that I've never thought about it. And to be honest, I've thought about it more and more since we entered high school together. But…at the same time, it would be really weird. He was my best friend, and I've heard too many stories about how dating someone ruins your friendship. Jamie was too important for me to risk that…

"Yeah, well," Jamie started to say, "I feel bad because you at least tried to ask someone else. I couldn't even work up the guts to do that."

"Don't worry about it, Jamie. There's just no one at the school you like enough to make a fool out of yourself for," I said jokingly. The downside of this private school was that it was a Catholic school with a lot fewer students than the public high school. There were only so many candidates to choose from.

I saw Jamie glance over at me as he drove before saying in a soft tone, "You do look really beautiful tonight, Pippa."

I felt my cheeks warm a little at the comment and replied, "Thank you…you too."

He quickly snorted before saying, "You think I look beautiful?"

"Shut up! You know what I mean," I said laughing and gently hitting his arm.

…

I gotta say, the dance was a lot more fun than I expected. The school rented out a small hall and the music wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I honestly thought they would resort to classical music and make us all ballroom dance while warning us to 'save room for Jesus'. Granted, I think I heard one chaperone say that. But overall, it was a good time.

We met up about halfway through with Alec and his date, Allison. I felt like my mother for a second when my own thoughts described them as a very good-looking couple. It's such an old-school phrase; although, it was true. They both had stunning blonde hair and Allison's dress was a rich-shade of blue that complimented her thinner frame really well. And I'll admit that Alec also looked good in a suit that sported a matching tie to Allison's dress, which was coincidentally a very similar blue to his eyes. Christ he had amazing eyes. In general…I felt jealous.

But that wasn't to say I was ashamed of Pippa. To be fair, she matured…extremely well. She wore a black, satin, strapless dress that had bright indigo flowers embroidered up one side, bordering a slit that exposed a matching indigo layer underneath. And she even wore make-up, which surprised me because I've never seen her with it before. However, it really brought out her eyes and made her look elegant. I guess I couldn't help but take some pride in the fact she was my date.

I jumped out of my thoughts when I felt someone put a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Alec. "You know how to get there, right?" he pseudo-shouted at me over the music.

I turned a little to look at him. "Uh, yeah. I looked up the directions earlier. But, why are you leaving so early?" I asked considering there was still half an hour left of the formal.

"Yeah. Just to set up and stuff. Feel free to show up whenever though," he said smirking at me and I noticed his eyes flicker over to Pippa. I think he's got the wrong idea about her and me…

"Alright, see you soon!" I told him. He nodded and left out the main doors with Allison.

…

After driving and Pippa making fun of me for getting lost, we finally made it to Alec's cabin. It appeared to be part of a neighborhood that was situated near the lake. If it weren't for the light coming out of the house, the area would have been a lot more eerie considering that the forest was pitch black.

As we walked in, we were greeted with loud music and cheers from the people who got there before us.

"What's going on?" I asked smiling at Alec as he walked over to us.

"Nothing, they're doing that for everyone that walks in. But come on in," he said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me into the kitchen. "Help yourself," he said gesturing to a keg and an array of liquor bottles on the counter.

"I...uh…" I faltered not really knowing what to do.

"You haven't had a drink before have you?" he asked. He wasn't being condescending, just making an observation.

"Ehm…no," I admitted honestly.

"Don't worry about it. I'll look after you. Just stop at three beers and see how you feel. I can guarantee that three won't really do much to you," he said reassuringly.

I gave him a small smile before grabbing a cup to fill it with beer. I did trust Alec. In fact, I kind of looked up to him.

And Alec's advice would have probably been solid, if it weren't for the two shots I did in addition to the beers…

"Damn Jamie, I didn't realize how hard you partied," Alec said laughing a little as he took a drink.

"Yeah, me neither," I said glancing over at Pippa. She was sitting next to me on the couch and I had my arm around her. She had brought a change of clothes with her, whereas my clothes just became heavily disheveled. My shirt had come untucked and I had to loosen my tie and roll up my sleeves. The apartment was really hot… But I liked how much the alcohol made me relax. Why the hell was I so worried about getting close to Pippa anyway? Maybe by the end of the night I could…

"You don't even know partying, Alec," Allison exclaimed interrupting my thoughts, "I don't think you'll be able to keep up with me when we go off to university next year."

"Heh, and why's that?" Alec said smirking over at her and taking another drink.

"Because you know I can go harder and longer than you," she said winking over at him, causing a couple of guys around us to laugh at Alec for the wicked burn his girlfriend gave him. I found it really hard to hide a grin as well. I just didn't expect that out of the petite blonde girl.

"Tch- And what exactly was the hardest partying you've ever done?" he inquired curiously while raising an eyebrow at her.

"Oh…you know," she said thoughtfully while crossing her legs, "I went to my sister's friend's party a few months ago, it was all girls. And we ended up drinking so much that I ended up making out with this other girl. And you missed it," she added teasingly pointing at him with her pinky finger.

Alec's smirk grew wider as he said, "Eh, I call bullshit. You're just making stuff up at this point."

"Say what you want. Doesn't change the fact that she was a better kisser than you. Must just be a girl's natural trait," she added giggling. A loud, drawn-out OH came from the rest of the group at how she managed to burn him a second time.

"Well put your tongue where your mouth is Alli," Alec's best friend Mikey challenged while perching himself on the arm of the couch. "I dare you to kiss Pippa and prove it," he said smirking at her.

My smile faded and I instantly glanced over at Pippa, whose face I saw had reddened a little. I knew why she was nervous. "Pippa," I muttered so only she could hear, "You don't have to if you don't want to. I'll tell them to-"

"No, it's alright Jamie," she said quietly. "Better I practice on someone I don't care about first, right?" she asked rhetorically, while smiling a little over at me.

"Right…" I said slowly. I knew that Pippa hadn't kissed anyone yet and that she was kind of saving it for someone important. But, if she was alright with it…

Pippa got up off the couch and leaned over the coffee table towards Allison. But Allison put her hands up to stop her before saying, "Woah, woah, woah. If I'm doing a dare it's only fair you guys do too. If I have to kiss Pippa, I dare you," she said pointing at Alec, "to kiss Jamie."

My eyes grew wide and I saw Alec glance over at me before boldly looking back at his girlfriend and agreeing casually, "Fine, whatever."

"Alright," Allison said grinning at him. "Come here, beautiful," she said playfully as she stood up and leaned over the table.

The instant those two locked lips, the guys all broke into a roar of hoots and hollers. I on the other hand just watched Pippa as if in a trance. She and Allison were trying not to smile as their lips gently pressed together and pulled apart. Those few seconds they were kissing passed by almost in slow-motion. And as Pippa pulled back, Allison licked Pippa's top lip, which caused Pippa to burst out in a high-pitch giggle as she fell back next to me with her hand over her mouth. God, she was cute.

"Alright, gentlemen!" Allison exclaimed as the rest of the party had gathered around us at that point.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a man of my word," Alec said as he turned his body towards mine and took a sip of his drink.

I leaned up on one knee and turned towards him. The group around us started to count down and I could already feel my face reddening in embarrassment. I haven't really kissed anyone before either. And now I had to do it in front of everyone? How…? But Alec smiled at me encouragingly and held out his cup offering me another drink. I took the cup and downed a large gulp, of which I realized was a rum and coke. As I slowly swallowed that liquid courage, I heard the crowd reach the number three.

Before the crowd even managed to make it to one, I felt Alec gently hold the side of my head as he smoothly leaned into me.

At that moment, I think my breath stopped. His lips were soft and gently moved against mine, guiding me and my movements almost reflexively. As if they were off in the distance I heard the loud cheers of the girls just as the guys had done for Pippa and Allison. But mostly I was concentrating on not messing up.

I felt Alec grab onto my hip as he tilted his head and pushed into me. Without even thinking, I opened my mouth and gave him my tongue, which prompted the room to burst out into screaming. He playfully toyed with my tongue for a while before biting onto my lip.

"Oh my God! They're so into it!" a random female voice shrieked in the background, which prompted me to reach up and pull Alec's hips against mine.

After a few more seconds we both halted and I opened my eyes to see Mikey pulling Alec away from me, whose cheeks displayed a prominent blush and he buried his face into his hand.

"Hey Alec! Say hi!" one of the girls called to him and I looked over to see her holding up her phone to us. He laughed and pushed her hand away, which caused her to focus on me. "Come on Jamie!" she said trying to insinuate me to acknowledge what just happened. Bashfully, I smiled and ran my hand through my hair before holding my fist out in a peaceful gesture to Alec, which he reciprocated and bumped his knuckles against mine. It was a measly effort at restoring our manhood.

…

The next week at school was…interesting. The girl who took the video of us had posted it on an app that included all the students in the school. So the story spread in a heartbeat. I noticed girls staring at me more in the hallway, and even blush once they realized I had noticed them watching me. It was the weirdest and most satisfactory feeling I've ever had. I couldn't help grinning myself when I walked past them.

Outside of practice, the only time I saw Alec was during Psychology. My mind was having a hard time pushing the kiss out of my mind, but not even he let me forget about it.

I was sitting in the back, half-paying attention to what the teacher was explaining when I saw him turn around to look at me. He smirked when I caught his eye and pursed his lips to silently kiss at me. My face reddened a little and I hid my embarrassed grin behind my hand. I looked up after a second and he was smirking at me, but then he seductively ran his tongue along his lip as if trying to entice me. I removed my hands and attempted to return the gesture; however, I cracked halfway through and ended up grinning before averting my eyes.

Could I honestly say that I enjoyed the playful flirting? I've never been much of a flirtatious person, but with Alec it was easy for some reason. Maybe it was because we were already friends, or maybe it was because we had already kissed. Which…still managed to make my stomach flop whenever I imagined it. If kissing a guy was that good…I could only imagine what kissing a girl would do to me…

"Uhm, I'm looking for an Alec Pearson? They need you in the office for a second" a voice behind me called. Everyone turned around, including me, to see the athletic director in the doorway leaning inside.

"Alec," the teacher nodded to him and dismissing him from class before resuming her lecture.

I picked up my pen to try and continue taking notes on the history of psychotherapy; however, as Alec walked past my desk, he discretely traced his fingers up my right arm. I smirked ever so slightly, but resisted looking at him out of fear of drawing attention to our antics. Although, I couldn't help but feel as though his fingers left a trail of electricity up my arm…

…

But all thoughts about the party and the attention I was getting in school were finally pushed out my mind at practice. Our coach was relentless and pushed us to the limit constantly. At least practice this week was interesting though. He brought in an instructor, who spent the last hour of each day teaching us basic judo. The idea was to either get us interested in other fighting styles, or at least train us in other methods of fighting.

As this was my first year, I had never received this instruction or was very good at it. I tried my best, but that didn't stop me from getting flipped by my teammates a lot.

"Mikey! You and Jamie!" the instructor called to him before pairing up everyone else.

Ah great. The team was already giving him and I crap for what happened at the party, and Mikey was one of the worst. Now I'd have to hear him taunt me about how Alec takes my breath away or how cute I am on my back. I knew they were teasing, but it still managed to bother me.

As expected, Mikey flipped me within like five seconds. We were in the same weight class, but he was definitely stronger and better than me. However, our coach and instructor told us constantly that strength doesn't ensure victory when it comes to wrestling or fighting.

I jumped back up and prepared my stance. My bangs were stuck to my forehead, so I blew a breath up to cool myself a little. He smirked at me again as if daring at me to try and take him. We took several seconds sizing each other up, but then Mikey quickly found his opening and came at me again, wrapping his arms around my waist to flip me. But on the way down, I grabbed his leg pulling him off balance, causing him to fall with me.

He quickly recovered and crawled on top of me, crossing my arms behind my back and holding them there, using our combined weight to prevent me from moving. I grunted and struggled to break my arms free. But he kept me pinned…

Then as if to further restrain me further, he shoved his knee between my legs and crossed his ankles underneath mine, completely preventing me from kicking free.

I clenched my teeth and panted through them, struggling to escape however I could. If this were a real meet, I would have lost so hard.

I attempted to thrash in any way I could, but Mikey only responded by tightening his grip.

"Mikey…stop," I grimaced, arching my back to try and push him off of me as best as I could.

I opened my eyes and looked up at him. His dark hair was also heavily disheveled and he was looking at me with the smallest hint of a smirk. As if he liked seeing me like this.

"What?" he said in a low tone, "I thought you liked this kind of thing."

At that moment I realized that he wasn't just joking around with me. "Get off," I growled still struggling to push him off of me. I glanced around the gym, but the coaches were spotting other pairs.

"Say you'll quit the team and I will," he demanded under his breath.

I knew Mikey never liked me, but I didn't realize he wanted me off the team entirely. And the last thing I wanted was to give him that satisfaction.

"No," I grunted while attempting to twist my body and roll him off of me; however, he was unmovable.

"Well...Can't say I didn't ask nicely," he said. And then suddenly, he roughly shoved his lips against mine before springing off of me and wickedly smirking down at me. "Get up, faggot," he sneered causing several people around us to glance over.

I wasn't about to put up with that. Burning with anger, I stood up and stormed out of the gym. I needed to get out…

"Jamie!" I heard Alec call from behind me. But the damage was already done. Mikey and the rest of them weren't just teasing. They wanted me gone.

My eyes burned as I grabbed my bag from my locker desperately trying to settle my thoughts. What the fuck was I even thinking at the party?

"Hey," I heard his voice as he rounded the row of lockers to see me. He leaned one hand on the wall as his back rose and fell from panting heavily. "Wait-"

"Just get away from me," I choked out, betraying the tears I was holding back, before turning to head away.

"Jamie!" he called again.

"LEAVE ME ALONE, ALRIGHT!" I yelled at him before turning out the door. I didn't want him to follow me. I didn't want to talk to him. I just needed to get away.

It was pouring rain. I sniffed once before pulling out my cell phone.

"Hello?" I never thought I would be so happy to hear my mom's voice in my life.

"Hey, mom, I need you to come get me."

"Honey, I can't right now. I'm in a meeting and I'm across town."

"Please, mom," I begged as the tears finally broke free and fell down my cheek.

"I'm sorry, baby, but the soonest I could be there is in another hour…"

"Fine, never mind. I'll see you at home," I said curtly before hanging up. My mom was supposed to be there for me. But she was always fucking working. Why, for once, couldn't she come through when I really needed her?

Frustrated, the only thing I could do was turn around and kick the metal door as hard as I could. Then I remembered that Alec or someone was probably still in there…

I turned tail and ran as fast as I could across the campus grass. I ran down the streets. I ran as far as I could, the cold rain soaking instantly into my clothes, but I didn't care. I didn't care that my house was ten miles from my school. I didn't care that my lungs burned and my hands were numb.

By the time I got home, my body was frozen. I unlocked the door to my house and trudged up the stairs and upon entering my room, stripped myself of all my wet clothes and crawled under my covers.

I was shivering erratically. I curled into a ball and hugged my knees trying to conserve my heat, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. At the same time, I still liked the cold. As if feeling my body numb could also numb my thoughts and feelings. I didn't even know what to think anymore.

Yeah I kissed Alec. But I like girls. I wanted nothing more than to kiss Pippa when I was drunk that night. Her…yet I kissed him. And then I flirted with him. Maybe there's just something about him…

Not that it matters. I couldn't look at him ever again. He was just messing around with me. He didn't mean any of it.

The tears bled from my eyes as I held my knees against me. I was just starting to warm up when I heard my mom and sister downstairs. Next thing I knew, my mom quietly opened the door to check on me.

"Jamie?" she asked quietly.

I didn't move. I would rather pretend to be asleep than talk to her. The last thing I wanted to do was tell my mom about my day today. Thankfully, she left after a minute.

Lost in thought, I lay there for hours. So many hours as countless questions flooded my mind so quickly that I didn't know how to deal with them. What would people say?

Realizing I could check, I got out of bed and walked over to my bag before pulling out my cell phone. I logged on to the gossip app, which just the previous day was filled with stupid rumors about who hooked up with whom after the winter formal. Now, the first thing I saw was with Mikey's pseudonym:

**Hilarious! Jamie Bennett couldn't help but cream himself once Alec had his hands all over him. #wrestlefag #off the team #pitch a tent much?**

Jesus-FUCK! That didn't even fucking happen! He wanted me off the team that bad? Why?

And then there was more. So much more.

**Adam and Eve, not Adam and Jamie Bennett. #fag #banBennett**

**No place for homos at our school. #banBennett**

**I hope he dies from AIDS. #banBennett**

**Knew he was gay. His hair is too fabulous.**

**No wonder he joined the wresting team. #pervert #banBennett**

**Sinners to hell! #banBennett**

**Fucking fairy trash #banBennett**

A cry escaped my throat and before I knew it, I chucked my phone against the far wall. Leaning down into my knees, I pulled at my hair and sobbed relentlessly.

This would spread like wildfire. That school is extremely conservative and any scrap of a reputation I had was about to be shattered. I couldn't go back there. Just after one night. One mistake.

After several minutes, my body started to shiver again. It was late. My mom and sister had already gone to bed. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out pajama pants and a sweatshirt. My feet were still freezing, I could feel a draft coming in from outside.

Walking over to lock my window, little swirling flecks caught my attention. It was snowing…

Changing my mind, I threw open my window and leaned out on the ledge.

"Jack! Jack! Please!" I called out begging like an idiot. "Please! I still believe in you! I don't ask you for anything, but please come back! You promis-" I felt my voice crack as I realized there was no one out there. He wasn't coming. I'm too old to have a Guardian…

I buried my face in my hands, feeling truly alone for the first time in my life. There was no one else I could talk to.

No one I could turn to…

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****
> 
> **Originally I wasn't going to include a backstory for Jamie, but I saw Suicide Room and decided to adapt some of the scenes for this.**
> 
> **Anyway, if you are enjoying it then leave me a comment or kudos!**


	3. Stitches and Kisses

Stitches and Kisses

**~F~**  
"You sure you don't want a ride home, Jamie? My club probably isn't going to meet for the whole two hours, since it's our last day before break," I heard Pippa say as they left the school building.

"Yeah, it's fine. Walking helps clear my head anyway," Jamie responded back to her.

I saw Pippa hesitate, watching him with a look of genuine concern. But after a moment, she smiled slightly and reached her arms up to wrap them around his neck. "Alright, I'll see you tonight?" she reappraised as if doubting Jamie's dedication.

"Yeah, I'll see you later," he said, albeit I couldn't see the expression on his face.

Jamie turned away from Pippa and left with the other straggling students down the steps of the old building. He wore a longer, woolen, black coat to help combat the encroaching winter, and he walked with his hands in his pockets. But it still amazed me how much he had grown. He was no longer that small, free-spirited child whose face lit up at the sight of a snowflake. No… he had grown up.

I sighed and plopped down on the branch in the tree, letting my legs swing freely in the air. What was North even talking about? Jamie looked fine to me…

…

The last thing I remember was relaxing somewhere in Canada, when I was monstrously ambushed from behind and stuffed into a burlap sack by some hairy beast. The next thing I knew, I had tumbled out into the jolliest-man-in-the-world's foyer.

I rolled out of the smelly sack the minute the ties were loosened and lightly stood up, summoning my staff back to my hand as I did so. Needless to say, I wasn't happy. But North wasn't looking to be his usual boisterous self either. He stood tall, with his arms crossed in front of him, staring at me critically while one of his elves cowered behind his leg at the sight of me.

"Can't you just, you know, send me a postcard or a messenger like a normal person?" I asked haughtily while brushing dirt off my shirt.

"I did. You froze him."

I smirked a little and replied, "Yeah…must not have realized it was importan-"

"Three time," the currently unenthused Russian elaborated while holding up three meaty fingers.

I sighed in defeat. True, I had been ignoring North as of late. But he's been constantly pestering me with rules and responsibilities that I had to adhere to. Part of me seriously regretted becoming a Guardian…if only I knew how much work was required…

"Alright, what did I do this time?" I asked not bothering to keep the negativity out of my voice.

"Where to start…" North said while reaching down to his elf, who pulled a scroll out from Moon-knows-where and handed it up to the bearded man. "Well, you freeze Frankie three times. You ignore summon by me."

I rolled my eyes at how pointless it was for him to repeat those.

"You cause massive blizzard in Hong Kong."

"Now **that** wasn't my fau-"

"You steal Bunny's eggs-"

"Just a few…"

" **Five hundred eggs** , fly into air, drop them on rooftops, and cause whole town to smell like toilet two week later."

I stifled a laugh and rubbed the back of my neck. It couldn't be helped. I had to get back at Bunny for making flowers grow out of my staff two years ago… Figures he would have tattled to North about it though.

North continued in spite of my snicker, "I'll skip to most important part, because is something I don't think you understand." He rolled up his scroll and stared at me intently, causing the smirk to disappear from my face, "Is one thing for child to grow out of us. Is other thing for us to ignore the ones who need us."

I pursed my lips and looked off to the side. This could only lead to one thing…

"You need to visit Jamie Bennett, Jack."

I rubbed my lips together nervously before saying, "I thought you said it was against the rules to show ourselves too often."

"Is also against rules to ignore those who need us."

"He doesn't need me. He's grown up now, North. Practically an adult," I said while nabbing a snowglobe from a side table and absent-mindedly tossing it up in the air and catching it as it fell.

"You check my globe, no?" he asked while walking over to his world of believers. It was littered with millions of tiny golden lights, representing all believers in the world.

"I mean, yeah. It's the same as it's ever been," I replied watching the ball as I threw it a bit higher.

But then North pressed a blue button on the bottom, causing many of the lights to go out. I stopped tossing the ball and looked up at the large globe to see that some of the gold lights had been replaced with glittering, blue flecks scattered in small clusters around the globe.

"What's that?" I asked, my brows coming together as I looked over at the burly man.

"That is your magic. All those children who believe in you. They're more, no? And there is Jamie," he added pointing to the brightest light on the globe. "You have him to thank for that."

I slowly walked up to the globe, not sure of what to think. Jamie…still believed in me? But…he had to be sixteen by now. And how…

"How did he do this?" I whispered, reaching out to touch the glittering globe.

"His story," North answered simply, "Your story. He inspire many people. They now believe in your magic because of him."

I…couldn't believe it. There were so many… Not nearly as much as North's or Bunny's, but still… How did he inspire so many people across the world?

"He's been wishing for you to come, you know."

Drawn out of my thoughts, I looked up at North. He looked…somber all of a sudden. "He's been wishing to you?" I asked perplexed.

North nodded his head solemnly. "Is only thing he ever ask for. He needs his Guardian, Jack."

Shaking my head, I backed away from the globe. "You know I can't, North."

"Jack," North said abruptly, "You cannot control what will come. But him not seeing you has done nothing. He still believes in you as much as ever. And you have responsibility to this child as long as he does. SO…" he reached out to take the snowglobe from me and quickly shattered it against the ground, causing a glowing, swirling portal to appear.

"Do your job," he added jovially as I felt a rough shove to my back, and before I knew it, I was rocketing through the portal and was spit out into a snow pile in the city of Burgess.

…

And that was how I ended up here. Well, I flew up into the tree on my own after recovering my sense of direction. No thanks to North.

I watched Jamie pass by, his hands in his pockets and his head down. He wasn't what I had expected; although, I wasn't sure exactly what to expect. Sadness perhaps? Or maybe anger? The rebel-without-a-cause persona always seemed to attract a lot of teenagers. But no, he looked…tired. Or maybe I just couldn't read him anymore. Growing up tends to force a lot of people to don a mask that hides their true character, be it good or bad. I decided that it was probably better to follow him and see if the Jamie I knew would come out.

However, I decided to keep my distance. I'll admit, I was afraid. I wouldn't be surprised if he was angry with me, or for all I knew he'd be overjoyed to see me again. I hoped for the latter…

I hopped from tree to tree, keeping him in my sight. We had gone quite a distance from the school when I saw him walk by a small park. He turned his head toward the open expanse as if hearing something, and a moment later I saw two boys about his age emerge and walk over to him. One had dark hair and the other was a bit of a porker.

Fortunately, the trees had grown dense enough for me to get within hearing range. I figured the two boys couldn't see me, but I was still wary of Jamie. But as I perched myself in a branch directly above them, their conversation wasn't what I expected.

"I quit the team and I'm transferring schools. What more do you want from me?" Jamie demanded as he attempted to side-step around the darker-haired boy.

However, the darker-haired boy stepped in front of him, cutting him off and replied with a smirk, "A kiss good-bye might be nice."

"Just leave me alone already, Mikey," Jamie responded coldly while trying to get around the darker-haired boy.

The boy he called Mikey continued to block Jamie's path. "What? Gonna run to your fairies to save you now?" he asked while maintaining his wicked sneer.

"Fuck off."

The boy behind Jamie then spoke up, "Probably should have just done your mum a favor and offed yourself. Would have saved her the trouble of raising a fairy-boy schizo-"

Before he could finish his sentence Jamie instantaneously dropped his backpack and turned around to face Pudgy. He quickly raised his arm and went to throw a punch, but Mikey wrapped his arms over Jamie's to hold him back. Jamie struggled against him, but the larger boy just continued to talk, "I guess it doesn't really matter. If you don't do yourself in, the AIDS will just get ya eventually."

Red in the face, Jamie leaned back into the darker-haired boy and kicked Porky square in the stomach. Mikey stumbled back against the force, but managed to hold onto Jamie while he regained his balance. The larger boy doubled over, clutching his gut, but quickly recovered and looked back up at Jamie as he said, "Why you little-"

I couldn't help myself. As Captain Blimpy took a step towards Jamie, I froze the ground underneath him, which caused him to slip from the unexpected ice slick and fall flat on his back. I had to shove my fist in my mouth to stop myself from laughing at the sight. However, without missing a beat, Jamie threw his head back and clunked his skull against Mikey's. The darker-haired boy released him, clutching his forehead from the pain. But the other boy had already stood back up, angrier than before. At this point, the two had Jamie backed up against a fence.

I had to save him. I summoned up a pool of magic, but before I could unleash it, Jamie pulled out a pocket knife, slashed himself across his palm, and held it up to his attackers.

"You want it? HUH?!" he screamed at them as red started to seep from his hand.

The two boys instantly retracted and took a couple steps away from Jamie. Jamie stepped towards them, smearing some blood onto his other hand and presenting them to the two boys as if in ritualistic offering.

Mikey simply stared at Jamie's hands wide-eyed while shaking his head. "You're insane, Bennett," he muttered as he continued to back away. "Let's go, Ned," he ordered Chubby. Then together, they turned and briskly strode away.

Jamie stood there for several long moments. I could see his breath hang in the air as he panted; however, he never took his eyes off his departing attackers. But he didn't look for me like I thought he would. Did he not notice the ice that had suddenly appeared on the ground?

After he must have deemed it safe to turn his back, Jamie picked up his pack and continued on his path home. Now was as good a time as any.

"Jamie!" I called as I gently landed behind him. "Hey! Are you o...k?" I trailed off when I realized that he wasn't turning around to face me.

I skated up alongside him. "Jamie?" I asked. But he didn't turn his head to face me. Didn't even make notice that someone was there.

He…he believed in me. Why couldn't he see me? Or hear me?

"JAMIE!" I called after him as he continued to walk away from me.

This…this couldn't be true. Was he too old? Maybe he believed in me but was too grown-up to see me? But that didn't make any sense…

I stood there, frozen as I watched him walk away. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I had been gone five years, hoping he'd forget. Hoping he'd grow-up and move on like most children did. But actually standing here, facing the reality that my first believer couldn't see me… I couldn't take it.

I quickly flew to catch up with him and landed a short distance directly in his path. Clutching my staff and bracing myself for the worst I yelled at him as loud as I could.

"JAMIE! I know you believe in me! So don't you DARE pass through me!" I winced as I heard his steps approach and prepared myself for the emptiness of a body moving through mine. But it didn't happen.

In fact, his shoulder roughly shoved me as he walked by.

"Jamie?" I asked, opening my eyes and turning around to look at him. He could see me. He knew I was there. "Jamie! Why are you ignoring me?!" I yelled after him.

Finally, the brunette stopped in his tracks and turned around to face me. "Funny," he started, "I should be the one asking you that."

"What are you talking about?" I asked perplexed.

"Five YEARS, Jack!" he yelled as he glared straight at me. "Five years and you **finally** decide to show up **now**?"

I stood there immobile after hearing the anger in his voice. I guess I should have expected that.

"You know," he continued heatedly, "I would have understood if I was just too old. But now I know it wasn't because of me. I thought you cared about me, but I guess I was wrong." And with that, he turned and started to walk away from me again.

"Jamie, wait!" I called as I walked to try and keep up with him. "It…it wasn't like that. I do care about you. I-"

"Bullshit."

I winced a little at his use of language. "Jamie!" I called, my voice begging to make him stop and listen to me for just a minute. "You think I wanted to break my promise to you!" I shouted at him. "You were my favorite kid!" I bit my tongue immediately after saying that. I wasn't allowed to have favorites.

But to my relief, Jamie stopped and turned around to look at me. His expression had at least changed from angry to suspicious. "I was your **what**?" he asked me, eyeing me with distrust.

The words had already slipped, I couldn't take them back now. "You- you were," I couldn't stop my voice from stuttering as my hands clenched around my staff. "You- you were the first person to see me… The first one to bother telling me his birthday… Do you seriously think I would spend entire **days** with just any kid?" I asked him.

He stared me down for a minute, as if inspecting my sincerity. Finally he said, "It wasn't just me. You spent time with my friends too."

"Well y-yeah," I added walking towards him. "But it was on your birthday. I wanted **you** to have fun…" I stopped several feet from him. After all these years, I needed him to forgive me. Now that I knew he could still see me, I wanted to help him.

"I need to get home," he said with a note of finality to it. I felt myself deflate a little, until he said, "You can come with me though…If you want."

I instantly perked back up again and jumped into the wind until I had landed beside him. We walked for a while in silence. Moons, walking is tedious business. Flying was always so much more fun…

After a seemingly long amount of time, I garnered up the courage to look at him again. I noticed he was still clutching his wounded hand.

"Why did you do that?" I asked in a low voice while nodding toward his hand.

Jamie glanced over at me and responded in an equally soft tone, "They think I'm diseased. And I knew it would make them go away."

"You're sick?" I asked confused.

"No, they just think I am," he mumbled.

Still confused, but not willing to press him any further, I tried to lighten the mood. "Here, let me fix it," I said slowing my pace and reaching out my hand.

He looked at me skeptically for a moment, but stopped walking and hesitantly gave me his hand. Turning his palm over in mine, I summoned some snow and brushed it over his palm to wipe off the blood. Then I briskly leaned down and pressed my lips against it while releasing a small burst of magic.

The wound closed up and Jamie retracted his hand from me and held it up to examine it in astonishment.

"How did you do that?" he asked me in complete bewilderment.

I was never really asked how I did things before. I didn't really know how to explain it. Nervously, I took a step backwards and rubbed the back of my neck. "I dunno," I began, "I just…sewed it up." Jamie continued to stare at me in utter confusion, which prompted me to continue, "I stitched it together using tiny ice crystals. It's still there, but it'll heal faster."

Jamie looked back down at his hand examining it once again before turning his eyes back on me. "But how come the ice doesn't melt?" he asked.

Geez, what is **with** him now? He never would have interrogated me like this when he was a kid.

"You never questioned how I create ice and snow out of nowhere, but you're confused how I keep it from melting?" I replied cynically. "It's just my magic, Jamie. I can hold it there until your hand heals."

At that, I finally saw him crack a smile. "But why do you have to kiss it?" he asked curiously.

"I…I don't know. Isn't that what you're supposed to do when someone's hurt?"

His smile grew a little more and he replied, "To a kid, maybe."

I guess that made sense... "I forgot, you're not a kid anymore," I told him honestly.

"Yeah," he affirmed, "A lot can happen in five years."

An awkward silence fell between us as I just stared down at the ground. I didn't know what to tell him. I couldn't tell him the truth, no matter how much the guilt gnawed at my brain.

"But you know…" he interrupted my thoughts and took a step closer to me, "I'm finally taller than you now," he added with a smirk as he stood a couple inches over me.

I smirked up at him and replied, "Yeah, you're definitely not a kid anymore… You're just a brat."

Jamie grinned down at me, seemingly proud of my response. Then without a word, he continued walking, with me following right behind him.

  
  
Chapter 4: Forgetting to Remember  
End Notes:

**Beware of impending fluff.**

**But please leave a review if you are reading!**

**More motivation = promptly posted chapters ;D**

Forgetting to Remember

"So your room," Jack began as he tentatively walked through my bedroom door holding his staff against his side so it would fit. "It's…different," he finished as he looked around at everything.

I was more surprised that he even remembered what it used to look like. He had only ever been in it a handful of times and only for a few minutes.

"Yeah," I confirmed the obvious for him. "I figured it would be weird for a teenager to have a room with stuffed animals and cartoon space sheets, so I decided to redecorate."

I realized that it did probably look way more different than the last time he was in here. I had gotten rid of most of my kid stuff and instead invested in a computer, which was a good decision in my mind. I worked three summers to get it and it was beautiful. As for decorations, I didn't really want to display my drawings on my walls anymore. So I painted my walls navy blue and opted for band posters instead. Maybe I was a little nostalgic for some of my old stuff, but I still thought my room looked bad ass.

"But…you got rid of all your toys and stuff…" Jack said in a quieter tone as he remained by the doorway and continued to examine the perimeter of my bedroom.

I stood there staring at him in shock. What did he expect me to do? Play with trains and dinosaurs for the rest of my life? Not that it didn't sound appealing, but I still had my other hobbies-

All of a sudden Jack made a light leap and proceeded to scurry about my room a little erratically. He bent down to examine my bookshelf before prancing over my bed to check out my desk, knocking on my computer once, before dropping down flat on the ground to search under my bed.

"Woah, woah, woah, what the fuck are you doing?!" I asked exasperated as I pulled him by the leg to get him away from my bed.

"First of all," Jack said a little annoyed as he kicked free of my grip and stood back up, "I'd rather you didn't swear so much."

My eyebrows came together at his unwarranted demand. Who was he to tell me what to do anyway?

"Second," he continued, "You're worse off than I thought."

"What are you talking about?" I asked him while crossing my arms.

He smirked a little and looked to his right as he replied, "North said you were asking for me, but I didn't realize how lame you got without me around." He picked up the magic eight ball I had on my desk and tossed it up and down a few times.

I frowned at his gross assumption and retorted, "I do stuff. Just because I don't play with toys doesn't mean I don't have fun anymore."

"Well what do you do then?" he asked as he leaned his staff against the wall and shook the magic eight ball to read his fortune.

"Just…stuff. None of your business," I settled before grabbing the magic eight ball out of his hand and putting it back on my desk. "So you only came here because North told you about me?" I asked heatedly.

I softened a little after seeing his expression shrink after I said that. "No…" he said looking down at the floor. "But he did say I was what you wished for… But why me?" he asked turning his crystal blue eyes up to look at me.

"I…" I didn't know how to answer him because I wasn't entirely certain myself. "I dunno…" I fumbled while rubbing the back of my head and averting my gaze. "I guess it all started when I lost most of my friends. I felt alone and…just wanted to have fun and be carefree again. Like when I was a kid." And with that I glanced sideways at him to check on his reaction. It was mostly the truth. I didn't want to tell him that the happiest days of my life were when he was around. That I hoped that despite everything, I could forget it all and feel like that again.

"Oh…" he trailed off averting his gaze from me this time. He rubbed his arm in thought for a minute before asking, "What happened to your friends?"

I bit my lip not really wanted to divulge my whole history to him. I didn't know if it was something he would understand. After so many people turning on me for what happened, I didn't want to risk the same thing with him. That is…maybe spirits didn't even care about that sort of thing.

"I'd really rather not talk about it," I said in a low tone.

"I saw Pippa was still talking to you," he added. "Are the others..?"

I realized then that he was talking about my childhood friends. "Oh…Pippa and I enrolled in a private school, so I kinda lost touch with them. Caleb and Claude moved several years ago, but Monty and Cupcake are still around. I'm switching back to public school after winter break, so I'll probably see them again…" I really wished that I didn't stop hanging out with them now. Pippa and I would always be friends, and hopefully Monty and Cupcake would still be willing to talk to me.

"I see…" he replied going back to rubbing his arm. He shifted his weight back and forth on his feet as if nervous about something.

"What?" I asked him wishing he would just come out with it. He seemed much less confident now that I was older. Maybe he was just afraid of making me mad again.

"It's just…. While I was at North's I saw…" he trailed off again and bit his lip as he reformulated his words, "How did you-"

"Jamie!" I heard my mom call from downstairs, "Can you come here and help bring the groceries in?!"

I looked at him unsure of how to react, but he motioned with his head for me to go see her.

"Yeah mom! I'll be right down!" I yelled back. I threw one last look at Jack before turning to head downstairs.

I shoved my feet into my boots, not bothering to tie them and walked outside without a coat to help my mom and sister with the bags. I made sure to do them a favor and grab the heavy stuff. My mom had a bad neck and couldn't really do heavy lifting.

"Hey hun, how was your last day?" she asked throwing me her concerned-mother expression.

"It was fine. Glad I'm done though," I replied before setting the bags on the floor by the door so I could take my wet boots off.

"Yeah, you made the right decision," she said setting down a couple bags. "Even though it would have been satisfying to sue the pants off those people," she added sardonically.

I let out a quiet laugh at her vengeful attitude. After the gossip spread about me, the video eventually got into the hands of the administrators. Alec had already graduated at that point, so I received the full attention of the school board.

The Dean 'respectfully' asked me to withdraw from the school based on the school's code of conduct. That I was in violation of the school's belief structure. But he made sure to make it clear that it wasn't the fact I was attracted to the same-sex, it was because I had acted on it and disrupted the learning environment. However they were willing to ignore the bunch of drunk minors in the background.

Even though my mom and I would have had a case, I didn't want to go through with it. I already received enough harassment from the student body that I didn't want to stay there even if we had won. I just wanted to be done with them and their hypocrisy.

"So how was school Sophie?" I asked looking down at her as she put her coat away.

"It was awesome! My class threw this huge party and we-" she paused in her excitement and I saw her eyes widen and her jaw drop in shock.

I quickly turned around and saw Jack standing in the hallway waiting for me. He smiled awkwardly and waved before pressing himself against the wall to allow my mother to pass by.

"What else happened Soph?" she called before coming back into the kitchen, forcing Jack against the wall again.

I swung back around to face Sophie and placed a finger in front of my lips to sign that she keep quiet about it.

"I…uh… It was just really fun," she stumbled still staring wide-eyed at Jack. He looked awkwardly side to side as if not sure about what he should do. She then picked up again and said in a rush, "I actually wrote a story for you Jamie. Can we go up to your room so I can read it to you?"

"Yeah. Sure." I agreed before grabbing her hand and leading her upstairs, trying to keep her from running and rousing suspicion with my mother.

"Dinner in an hour!" my mom yelled from the kitchen.

"Alright!" I called back. As we reached the top of the stairs, I heard Sophie about to break her silence, so I grabbed her and put my hand over her mouth before entering my room and shutting the door.

"You're real!" she exclaimed as I released her. She had the biggest and happiest smile I ever saw on her face as she continued her admiration. "You're real! You're so real! Oh my God… That means everything you've told me," she said turning to me, "about that night was real! It happened! I…wait that means Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Toothfairy…they're all **real**?!" she asked the last question turning back to Jack and practically exploding from excitement.

He smiled down at her and confirmed, "Yep. Sandman too. We're all real-"

She interrupted him by running up and squeezing him around the waist as hard as she could, "Oh my God! You have no idea how happy that makes me. I'm just…oh my God oh my God oh my God!"

I laughed at how excited she was and was surprised that her grip wasn't hurting Jack at all. He just smiled and bent over to hug her back a little.

"So what are you doing here?! In our house?!" she asked letting Jack go and looking up at him with that smile still plastered on her face.

Jack laughed and replied, "I owe Jamie six years of snowballs and funtimes for what he did to help me. Are you busy tomorrow?" he asked her.

"NO! Oh my God oh my God, this is so cool. YOU'RE so cool," she said turning back to me. "I was starting to think the stories you told me were too good to be true, but I knew it! I **knew** you wouldn't lie to me!" She ran up to me and threw her vice grip around my waist instead, crushing my ribs a little too close for comfort.

But I smiled through the pain at how happy seeing Jack had made her. She was extremely young when we spent the first night with the Guardians. And the following years that Jack visited us, she was never playing with my friends and me since she was much younger. To her, the Guardians were just a story. But I still wanted her to believe for as long as she could.

"But, I guess I should get going now," Jack said as he reached over to grab his staff. "Your mom is going to want you and I should get back to doing my job," he said his face falling a little at the statement.

I pushed Sophie off of me and walked toward him, "You promise that you'll come back tomorrow?" I asked. I felt childish, but I needed to know that he wasn't about to disappear again.

"Yeah, of course," he answered assuredly. "Like I said, I owe you six years of fun." He paused after probably seeing the doubt on my face. He had made me promises before and broken them. "Here," he said reaching his hand out with his little finger extended, "Pinkie swear."

My face broke into a smile at the gesture. It was just so juvenile. But I complied and held my finger out to him as well so we could lock the promise into place.

He smiled as we let go and added, "Besides, I have to stay near to heal your hand."

"I thought you said the magic just stays there?" I asked confused.

Flustered, he covered his eyes with his hands as if trying to figure out a way to explain it to me again. Finally he said, "Yeah, but it takes more effort when I'm far away."

"I see…" I said still unsure of how his magic worked.

"But I'll be back, alright?" he said looking up at me again. His eyes were sincere, and it made me feel good.

"Alright, see you tomorrow," I said reaching over to open the window for him.

"Bye Jack Frost!" Sophie said waving at him, the smile refusing to leave her face.

Jack smiled and looked at me before confirming, "See you tomorrow." And then he jumped out the window before flying off.

…  
...

"PIPPA!" I yelled knocking furiously on her bedroom window.

The curtains flew open and I saw an extremely annoyed and bedheaded Pippa glaring at me out of her room. She unlocked the window and opened it, shivering as the frosty air floated inside.

"What?!" she yelled back at me clearly frustrated.

"Hurry up! Let's have a snow day!" I said back to her smiling like a ninny. It had snowed last night just as Jack had promised, and I knew he'd be around at some point today.

I saw her annoyance subside only to be replaced with confusion. I knew it was because I hadn't asked her to play in the snow since we were kids.

But after a minute she responded, "Alright. Just let me get dressed and I'll be right out."

My grin grew even bigger as I ran back across the street to get my sister. I knew she wouldn't miss today for the world.

"Hurry up Soph!" I yelled as I opened the front door to see her on the ground pulling her snow boots on.

"Hang on I'm almost done! Where are we going?" she asked standing up and slipping her mittens over her hands.

"To the park," I answered smiling. I haven't been so excited about seeing snow in years. And I wasn't about to waste a minute of it.

We hurried out of the house and I ran back over to Pippa's window, which was still cracked but the curtains were drawn. "Hey Pip, we'll meet you at the park, alright?" I called inside assuming she was getting dressed.

"Alright, see you guys in a few!" she called.

And with that I high-stepped through the snow back to Sophie, before grabbing her hand and bounding behind our houses to the park.

I always thought it was really nice that our houses backed up to the park, which in turn backed up to a stretch of woodlands. The city of Burgess was old, so old that the trees in the forest grew taller and broader than in other cities where they cut everything down. But I loved the forest and I forgot how amazing it looked in winter. The snow beautifully settled upon every branch, twig, and pine needle in a way that made them look as if they had been meticulously painted by a master artist. I smiled to myself as I silently gave Jack the credit. He may not have done it on purpose, but the snow he summoned was always the perfect snow.

As I walked through the winter wonderland hand in hand with Sophie, I kept my attention on the trees. I wasn't really sure why, but I was enthralled with them.

"Come on, Jamie!" Sophie yelled letting go of my hand and taking off towards a thicker mound of snow. She plopped down into it and started making a frantic snow angel.

I laughed at her enthusiasm and slowly bent down to pick up a handful of snow.

"NO James Ryan Bennett. Don't you dare!" she shrieked scrambling to get up. But as she turned away from me I took aim and landed her right in the back.

She screamed in delight and grabbed her own pile, but before she could hit me, I felt a massive snow chunk collide with the back of my head.

"Arrgh!" I yelled trying to brush the snow out as it slid down my neck. I turned around to see Pippa doubled over and laughing her head off. "Oh you're gonna get it," I threatened smiling as I bent back down to grab snow before taking off after her.

Our snowball fight took off. We were all against one another, even though Pippa and I went easy on my sister given that she was half our size. We chased each other around the woods, digging up snow and launching the projectiles at one another until we were panting and red in the face as the day had moved on.

"Okay! Alright," I said breathing heavily as I leaned forward on my knees. "Truce?" I asked as Pippa walked over to me grinning.

"Nah," she said as she shoved a fistful of snow into my face.

I shoved her arm away and she shrieked as I tried to grab her. But she bent over, wrapping her arms around my middle to stop me from grabbing her or pushing her over.

So instead I fell backwards, causing her to cry out as she fell down with me landing on top of me. She laughed as she leaned up on her arms and looked down at me. I saw her eyes shift away from me shyly as she said with a chuckle, "Alright, truce." And then she leaned back to stand up, offering me her hand to help me up as well.

Of course in the moment I thought it was safe, yet another snowball hit me from behind. "Sophie!" I yelled annoyed but turned around to see Jack standing there with his hand on his hip and a hint of mischievousness behind his smirk.

"Oh fine, one more then," I said as I grabbed another handful of snow and chucked it at him.

The ice spirit dodged it easily and added laughing, "I see your throwing skills haven't improved any." Sophie ran up next to me laughing at Jack's diss of me.

"I'll show you throwing skills…"

"Jamie…who are you talking to?" Pippa asked from behind me.

I stopped in what I was doing and turned to look at her.

"Jack Frost!" Sophie yelled excitedly, that contagious smile returning to her face.

"Yeah…don't you remember?" I asked her slowly.

Pippa looked from Sophie to me and then back to Sophie. Finally she hit her palm against her forehead and said, "Oh right. Jack Frost, he brought us the snow, right Sophie?" she asked my little sister.

"Right! Come on Pippa!" Sophie called grabbing Pippa's hand and pulling her over to Jack.

"Sophs…she can't see me," Jack said solemnly.

I looked up into his face and felt my throat tighten up. His mouth was pressed into a hard line and his eyes appeared darker somehow as he looked down at the ground. The air suddenly felt colder. Part of me even thought I felt the air chill right through my winter coat.

Sophie stopped and looked from Pippa to Jack and then back to Pippa. As if not believing him, she asked, "You can see him, right?"

"Yeah, of course," Pippa said smiling down at her and then looking up and saying, "Come on Jack Frost! Bet you can't nip my nose!" Except that she wasn't even looking at the white-haired boy who was standing right in front of her.

Sophie let go of Pippa's hand and looked down into the snow. I could tell that she was trying to stop herself from crying, so I interrupted, "Hey Sophs. I just noticed it's getting kinda late and mom wanted you home. Something about calling grandpa." Yeah it was a lie. But I didn't want to make Sophie sad after she was having such a good day.

I reached out to take her hand and turned to Pippa and said, "Sorry Pippa. Maybe I can head over after my mom gets home?"

"Yeah…alright," she said suddenly unsure of what was wrong. She followed alongside me, but I turned my head to check on Jack.

He was gone.

…

"Why can't she see him anymore?!" Sophie practically yelled at me after she stomped into her bedroom. I was thankful that my mom was at work, or else there would have been more explaining to do.

I looked down at my sister as I tried to find a way to explain something that I myself didn't even understand. "I don't know Sophs… Sometimes it just happens as people grow older."

"Buy **why**?!" she asked, tears of anger gathered at the corners of her eyes.

"Because…" I scratched my head as I had wondered the same question myself for years. "Because I think that as people grow older… They just forget to remember."

She stood there pouting in silence for a minute. But then she said gruffly, "I won't forget to remember…"

I smiled down at her as I admired her determination. Maybe she would be like me after all… So I wasn't the only one who seemed to believe at my age.

"Come on, I'll read as many bedtime stories with you as you want," I said trying to find a way to make her feel better. I haven't read with her for a while. But I knew it was something she always liked to do with me. It was how I taught her about the Guardians in the first place.

…

But my patience was stretched thin as I waited for Sophie to fall asleep. I really wanted to find Jack.

After I quietly left her room, I tip-toed down the hall to my bedroom determined to go look for him. I would grab my flashlight and check every inch and corner of the park and woods until he showed himself. No way was I going to let him run away on me again.

As I walked into my room, a shadow moved out of the corner of my eye and I nearly toppled backwards into my dresser. I quickly flicked on the light only to see the tufty white-haired boy standing in the corner.

"Geez," I breathed a tense sigh and clutched my chest, "You scared the shit out of me." I saw him wince slightly and quickly remembered his distaste for swear words, so I added, "Sorry… I was just about to go out and look for you."

"Well… I saved you the trouble then," he said smiling a little up at me. Except I could tell it was a bit forced.

So I decided to discuss the elephant in the room. I took several steps toward him and lowered my voice as I said, "How… How come I can still see you, but Pippa can't?"

It bothered me that she had forgotten. She was there. Right there with me. She saw everything and hung out with Jack just as much as I did. How could she have possibly forgotten all of that?

Jack exhaled and looked up into my eyes before quickly averting his gaze. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I…couldn't tell you Jamie. I'm barely used to people being able to see me at all." He then added in a voice barely above a whisper, "This is actually the first time I found someone who's forgotten about me."

"But…what about the other Guardians. Don't they know?" I asked. It was a question that I have been dwelling about for years and couldn't figure out.

But Jack merely shook his head. "All they know is that it just happens to all kids as they grow older. I'm surprised it hasn't happened to you yet."

That statement took me aback. "You…you sound as if you **wanted** me to forget about you," I asked accusingly.

"No, no, no," Jack said while shaking his head and rubbing his neck, "I just… expected it is all. When North said you were wishing for me… I couldn't believe that you even still knew who I was."

Suddenly guilt washed over me as I realized what I did. "I'm sorry…" I muttered looking off to the side.

"For what?"

"For ignoring you yesterday. It must have really scared you," I clarified. Seeing his eyes after realizing that Pippa had forgotten him… His eyes held so much fear in them when he thought I didn't see him. It was immensely selfish of me to treat him like that.

"It did," he said drawing me out of my thoughts. "I honestly was afraid to show myself to you at first… because I don't know how I would have reacted if you had walked through me…"

The guilt caused my throat to constrict again as I looked at him. He was looking past me, avoiding my eyes, but I could tell he was sad. The temperature in my room had noticeably dropped a little after he admitted to that.

So I walked forward and wrapped my arms around his shoulders as I said with as much certainty as I could muster, "I'll **never** forget about you."

I felt him tense up at first, but he reciprocated and wrapped his arms around me as well. It was almost like when I had hugged him before. He was cool to the touch, but not cold. And he even smelled like winter…

After a minute, I felt him pull back and I let go in return. "I uh..." he stammered while rubbing the back of his head, "I'll hold you to that you know."

I couldn't help but smile at him. Maybe it was just because I was older, but he acted different around me. I couldn't really place why, but I liked it.

"Soo…" he exclaimed after the awkward pause stretching his arms behind his back and turning to look back at me with that mischievous twinkle in his eye. "You and Pippa, huh?"

"What?" I asked dumbfounded not sure of where the hell that came from.

He grinned after seeing my discomfort. "You two are cute together," he said absentmindedly scratching his chin, "Shouldn't surprise me though. The whole 'childhood-sweetheart love tale' is one of the oldest out there."

"Jack… Pippa's not my girlfriend," I admitted suddenly feeling more awkward.

After the school had basically labelled me gay, I wasn't really sure if I fully accepted the category. I never felt attracted to guys before I met Alec… and I was definitely still attracted to Pippa. However, apart from kissing, I was inexperienced. So maybe I was bisexual or whatever. Or maybe I just had an infatuation with Alec…maybe he was just my type.

But this wasn't something I was about to explain to the ancient frost boy in front of me.

He was looking at me sideways wearing a giant look of skepticism, so I elaborated in a rush, "We're really good friends and I thought I might like her. But it just didn't really work out. We're good just staying friends."

"Heh, relax Jamie. I'm just messing with you," he said casually leaning against the wall. "But there was something I meant to ask you yesterday."

I cocked my head toward him as I waited for him to ask what he wanted to know. I had no idea what the spirit of winter needed some high school kid to tell him though.

He cleared his throat once before asking, "How…how did you get so many people to believe in me?"

I was a little surprised at the question. I didn't realize I had done anything of the sort. Pretty much everyone at school mocked me for ever having brought up the Guardians. But then I realized that perhaps my stories were successful after all…

I smiled and told him, "I'll tell you if you keep coming back to see me."

At that I saw him crack a grin as he said, "I told you. I owe you six years of fun."

"No," I said reiterating, "I don't mean a once a year thing. Today was amazing… I want to have more days like that…" I said looking right at him.

Playing defeat, he rolled his eyes and said, "Fine. If you're going to twist my arm like that."

I smiled at him and he looked back up at me not saying a word. I never realized how much satisfaction one could get from being taller than the frost spirit.

He raised an eyebrow and asked, "So?"

"So what?" I asked confused.

"How'd you do it?" he repeated.

I grinned down at him and said, "Maybe I'll tell you next time."

He breathed in a silent laugh shaking his head slightly as he responded, "You really are a brat."

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Let me know what you think so far!**
> 
> **Do you like my portrayal of Jack's character? How about older Jamie?**


	4. Forgetting to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  **I'm sorry, when I reposted this, I forgot to add this chapter.**
> 
> **Hopefully everything still makes sense for those who started...**  
> 

  
Forgetting to Remember  


**~B~**  
"So your room," Jack began as he tentatively walked through my bedroom door holding his staff against his side so it would fit. "It's…different," he finished as he looked around at everything.

I was more surprised that he even remembered what it used to look like. He had only ever been in it a handful of times and only for a few minutes.

"Yeah," I confirmed the obvious for him. "I figured it would be weird for a teenager to have a room with stuffed animals and cartoon space sheets, so I decided to redecorate."

I realized that it did probably look way more different than the last time he was in here. I had gotten rid of most of my kid stuff and instead invested in a computer, which was a good decision in my mind. I worked three summers to get it and it was beautiful. As for decorations, I didn't really want to display my drawings on my walls anymore. So I painted my walls navy blue and opted for band posters instead. Maybe I was a little nostalgic for some of my old stuff, but I still thought my room looked bad ass.

"But…you got rid of all your toys and stuff…" Jack said in a quieter tone as he remained by the doorway and continued to examine the perimeter of my bedroom.

I stood there staring at him in shock. What did he expect me to do? Play with trains and dinosaurs for the rest of my life? Not that it didn't sound appealing, but I still had my other hobbies-

All of a sudden Jack made a light leap and proceeded to scurry about my room a little erratically. He bent down to examine my bookshelf before prancing over my bed to check out my desk, knocking on my computer once, before dropping down flat on the ground to search under my bed.

"Woah, woah, woah, what the fuck are you doing?!" I asked exasperated as I pulled him by the leg to get him away from my bed.

"First of all," Jack said a little annoyed as he kicked free of my grip and stood back up, "I'd rather you didn't swear so much."

My eyebrows came together at his unwarranted demand. Who was he to tell me what to do anyway?

"Second," he continued, "You're worse off than I thought."

"What are you talking about?" I asked him while crossing my arms.

He smirked a little and looked to his right as he replied, "North said you were asking for me, but I didn't realize how lame you got without me around." He picked up the magic eight ball I had on my desk and tossed it up and down a few times.

I frowned at his gross assumption and retorted, "I do stuff. Just because I don't play with toys doesn't mean I don't have fun anymore."

"Well what do you do then?" he asked as he leaned his staff against the wall and shook the magic eight ball to read his fortune.

"Just…stuff. None of your business," I settled before grabbing the magic eight ball out of his hand and putting it back on my desk. "So you only came here because North told you about me?" I asked heatedly.

I softened a little after seeing his expression shrink after I said that. "No…" he said looking down at the floor. "But he did say I was what you wished for… But why me?" he asked turning his crystal blue eyes up to look at me.

"I…" I didn't know how to answer him because I wasn't entirely certain myself. "I dunno…" I fumbled while rubbing the back of my head and averting my gaze. "I guess it all started when I lost most of my friends. I felt alone and…just wanted to have fun and be carefree again. Like when I was a kid." And with that I glanced sideways at him to check on his reaction. It was mostly the truth. I didn't want to tell him that the happiest days of my life were when he was around. That I hoped that despite everything, I could forget it all and feel like that again.

"Oh…" he trailed off averting his gaze from me this time. He rubbed his arm in thought for a minute before asking, "What happened to your friends?"

I bit my lip not really wanted to divulge my whole history to him. I didn't know if it was something he would understand. After so many people turning on me for what happened, I didn't want to risk the same thing with him. That is…maybe spirits didn't even care about that sort of thing.

"I'd really rather not talk about it," I said in a low tone.

"I saw Pippa was still talking to you," he added. "Are the others..?"

I realized then that he was talking about my childhood friends. "Oh…Pippa and I enrolled in a private school, so I kinda lost touch with them. Caleb and Claude moved several years ago, but Monty and Cupcake are still around. I'm switching back to public school after winter break, so I'll probably see them again…" I really wished that I didn't stop hanging out with them now. Pippa and I would always be friends, and hopefully Monty and Cupcake would still be willing to talk to me.

"I see…" he replied going back to rubbing his arm. He shifted his weight back and forth on his feet as if nervous about something.

"What?" I asked him wishing he would just come out with it. He seemed much less confident now that I was older. Maybe he was just afraid of making me mad again.

"It's just…. While I was at North's I saw…" he trailed off again and bit his lip as he reformulated his words, "How did you-"

"Jamie!" I heard my mom call from downstairs, "Can you come here and help bring the groceries in?!"

I looked at him unsure of how to react, but he motioned with his head for me to go see her.

"Yeah mom! I'll be right down!" I yelled back. I threw one last look at Jack before turning to head downstairs.

I shoved my feet into my boots, not bothering to tie them and walked outside without a coat to help my mom and sister with the bags. I made sure to do them a favor and grab the heavy stuff. My mom had a bad neck and couldn't really do heavy lifting.

"Hey hun, how was your last day?" she asked throwing me her concerned-mother expression.

"It was fine. Glad I'm done though," I replied before setting the bags on the floor by the door so I could take my wet boots off.

"Yeah, you made the right decision," she said setting down a couple bags. "Even though it would have been satisfying to sue the pants off those people," she added sardonically.

I let out a quiet laugh at her vengeful attitude. After the gossip spread about me, the video eventually got into the hands of the administrators. Alec had already graduated at that point, so I received the full attention of the school board.

The Dean 'respectfully' asked me to withdraw from the school based on the school's code of conduct. That I was in violation of the school's belief structure. But he made sure to make it clear that it wasn't the fact I was attracted to the same-sex, it was because I had acted on it and disrupted the learning environment. However they were willing to ignore the bunch of drunk minors in the background.

Even though my mom and I would have had a case, I didn't want to go through with it. I already received enough harassment from the student body that I didn't want to stay there even if we had won. I just wanted to be done with them and their hypocrisy.

"So how was school Sophie?" I asked looking down at her as she put her coat away.

"It was awesome! My class threw this huge party and we-" she paused in her excitement and I saw her eyes widen and her jaw drop in shock.

I quickly turned around and saw Jack standing in the hallway waiting for me. He smiled awkwardly and waved before pressing himself against the wall to allow my mother to pass by.

"What else happened Soph?" she called before coming back into the kitchen, forcing Jack against the wall again.

I swung back around to face Sophie and placed a finger in front of my lips to sign that she keep quiet about it.

"I…uh… It was just really fun," she stumbled still staring wide-eyed at Jack. He looked awkwardly side to side as if not sure about what he should do. She then picked up again and said in a rush, "I actually wrote a story for you Jamie. Can we go up to your room so I can read it to you?"

"Yeah. Sure." I agreed before grabbing her hand and leading her upstairs, trying to keep her from running and rousing suspicion with my mother.

"Dinner in an hour!" my mom yelled from the kitchen.

"Alright!" I called back. As we reached the top of the stairs, I heard Sophie about to break her silence, so I grabbed her and put my hand over her mouth before entering my room and shutting the door.

"You're real!" she exclaimed as I released her. She had the biggest and happiest smile I ever saw on her face as she continued her admiration. "You're real! You're so real! Oh my God… That means everything you've told me," she said turning to me, "about that night was real! It happened! I…wait that means Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Toothfairy…they're all real?!" she asked the last question turning back to Jack and practically exploding from excitement.

He smiled down at her and confirmed, "Yep. Sandmann too. We're all real-"

She interrupted him by running up and squeezing him around the waist as hard as she could, "Oh my God! You have no **idea** how happy that makes me. I'm just…oh my God oh my God oh my God!"

I laughed at how excited she was and was surprised that her grip wasn't hurting Jack at all. He just smiled and bent over to hug her back a little.

"So what are you doing here?! In our house?!" she asked letting Jack go and looking up at him with that smile still plastered on her face.

Jack laughed and replied, "I owe Jamie six years of snowballs and funtimes for what he did to help me. Are you busy tomorrow?" he asked her.

"NO! Oh my God oh my God, this is so cool. YOU'RE so cool," she said turning back to me. "I was starting to think the stories you told me were too good to be true, but I knew it! I knew you wouldn't lie to me!" She ran up to me and threw her vice grip around my waist instead, crushing my ribs a little too close for comfort.

But I smiled through the pain at how happy seeing Jack had made her. She was extremely young when we spent the first night with the Guardians. And the following years that Jack visited us, she was never playing with my friends and me since she was much younger. To her, the Guardians were just a story. But I still wanted her to believe for as long as she could.

"But, I guess I should get going now," Jack said as he reached over to grab his staff. "Your mom is going to want you and I should get back to doing my job," he said his face falling a little at the statement.

I pushed Sophie off of me and walked toward him, "You promise that you'll come back tomorrow?" I asked. I felt childish, but I needed to know that he wasn't about to disappear again.

"Yeah, of course," he answered assuredly. "Like I said, I owe you six years of fun." He paused after probably seeing the doubt on my face. He had made me promises before and broken them. "Here," he said reaching his hand out with his little finger extended, "Pinkie swear."

My face broke into a smile at the gesture. It was just so juvenile. But I complied and held my finger out to him as well so we could lock the promise into place.

He smiled as we let go and added, "Besides, I have to stay near to heal your hand."

"I thought you said the magic just stays there?" I asked confused.

Flustered, he covered his eyes with his hands as if trying to figure out a way to explain it to me again. Finally he said, "Yeah, but it takes more effort when I'm far away."

"I see…" I said still unsure of how his magic worked.

"But I'll be back, alright?" he said looking up at me again. His eyes were sincere, and it made me feel good.

"Alright, see you tomorrow," I said reaching over to open the window for him.

"Bye Jack Frost!" Sophie said waving at him, the smile refusing to leave her face.

Jack smiled and looked at me before confirming, "See you tomorrow." And then he jumped out the window before flying off.

…

"PIPPA!" I yelled knocking furiously on her bedroom window.

The curtains flew open and I saw an extremely annoyed and bedheaded Pippa glaring at me out of her room. She unlocked the window and opened it, shivering as the frosty air floated inside.

"What?!" she yelled back at me clearly frustrated.

"Hurry up! Let's have a snow day!" I said back to her smiling like a ninny. It had snowed last night just as Jack had promised, and I knew he'd be around at some point today.

I saw her annoyance subside only to be replaced with confusion. I knew it was because I hadn't asked her to play in the snow since we were kids.

But after a minute she responded, "Alright. Just let me get dressed and I'll be right out."

My grin grew even bigger as I ran back across the street to get my sister. I knew she wouldn't miss today for the world.

"Hurry up Soph!" I yelled as I opened the front door to see her on the ground pulling her snow boots on.

"Hang on I'm almost done! Where are we going?" she asked standing up and slipping her mittens over her hands.

"To the park," I answered smiling. I haven't been so excited about seeing snow in years. And I wasn't about to waste a minute of it.

We hurried out of the house and I ran back over to Pippa's window, which was still cracked but the curtains were drawn. "Hey Pip, we'll meet you at the park, alright?" I called inside assuming she was getting dressed.

"Alright, see you guys in a few!" she called.

And with that I high-stepped through the snow back to Sophie, before grabbing her hand and bounding behind our houses to the park.

I always thought it was really nice that our houses backed up to the park, which in turn backed up to a stretch of woodlands. The city of Burgess was old, so old that the trees in the forest grew taller and broader than in other cities where they cut everything down. But I loved the forest and I forgot how amazing it looked in winter. The snow beautifully settled upon every branch, twig, and pine needle in a way that made them look as if they had been meticulously painted by a master artist. I smiled to myself as I silently gave Jack the credit. He may not have done it on purpose, but the snow he summoned was always the perfect snow.

As I walked through the winter wonderland hand in hand with Sophie, I kept my attention on the trees. I wasn't really sure why, but I was enthralled with them.

"Come on, Jamie!" Sophie yelled letting go of my hand and taking off towards a thicker mound of snow. She plopped down into it and started making a frantic snow angel.

I laughed at her enthusiasm and slowly bent down to pick up a handful of snow.

"NO James Ryan Bennett. Don't you dare!" she shrieked scrambling to get up. But as she turned away from me I took aim and landed her right in the back.

She screamed in delight and grabbed her own pile, but before she could hit me, I felt a massive snow chunk collide with the back of my head.

"Arrgh!" I yelled trying to brush the snow out as it slid down my neck. I turned around to see Pippa doubled over and laughing her head off. "Oh you're gonna get it," I threatened smiling as I bent back down to grab snow before taking off after her.

Our snowball fight took off. We were all against one another, even though Pippa and I went easy on my sister given that she was half our size. We chased each other around the woods, digging up snow and launching the projectiles at one another until we were panting and red in the face as the day had moved on.

"Okay! Alright," I said breathing heavily as I leaned forward on my knees. "Truce?" I asked as Pippa walked over to me grinning.

"Nah," she said as she shoved a fistful of snow into my face.

I shoved her arm away and she shrieked as I tried to grab her. But she bent over, wrapping her arms around my middle to stop me from grabbing her or pushing her over.

So instead I fell backwards, causing her to cry out as she fell down with me landing on top of me. She laughed as she leaned up on her arms and looked down at me. I saw her eyes shift away from me shyly as she said with a chuckle, "Alright, truce." And then she leaned back to stand up, offering me her hand to help me up as well.

Of course in the moment I thought it was safe, yet another snowball hit me from behind. "Sophie!" I yelled annoyed but turned around to see Jack standing there with his hand on his hip and a hint of mischievousness behind his smirk.

"Oh fine, one more then," I said as I grabbed another handful of snow and chucked it at him.

The ice spirit dodged it easily and added laughing, "I see your throwing skills haven't improved any." Sophie ran up next to me laughing at Jack's diss of me.

"I'll show you throwing skills…"

"Jamie…who are you talking to?" Pippa asked from behind me.

I stopped in what I was doing and turned to look at her.

"Jack Frost!" Sophie yelled excitedly, that contagious smile returning to her face.

"Yeah…don't you remember?" I asked her slowly.

Pippa looked from Sophie to me and then back to Sophie. Finally she hit her palm against her forehead and said, "Oh right. Jack Frost, he brought us the snow, right Sophie?" she asked my little sister.

"Right! Come on Pippa!" Sophie called grabbing Pippa's hand and pulling her over to Jack.

"Sophs…she can't see me," Jack said solemnly.

I looked up into his face and felt my throat tighten up. His mouth was pressed into a hard line and his eyes appeared darker somehow as he looked down at the ground. The air suddenly felt colder. Part of me even thought I felt the air chill right through my winter coat.

Sophie stopped and looked from Pippa to Jack and then back to Pippa. As if not believing him, she asked, "You can see him, right?"

"Yeah, of course," Pippa said smiling down at her and then looking up and saying, "Come on Jack Frost! Bet you can't nip my nose!" Except that she wasn't even looking at the white-haired boy who was standing right in front of her.

Sophie let go of Pippa's hand and looked down into the snow. I could tell that she was trying to stop herself from crying, so I interrupted, "Hey Sophs. I just noticed it's getting kinda late and mom wanted you home. Something about calling grandpa." Yeah it was a lie. But I didn't want to make Sophie sad after she was having such a good day.

I reached out to take her hand and turned to Pippa and said, "Sorry Pippa. Maybe I can head over after my mom gets home?"

"Yeah…alright," she said suddenly unsure of what was wrong. She followed alongside me, but I turned my head to check on Jack.

He was gone.

…

"Why can't she see him anymore?!" Sophie practically yelled at me after she stomped into her bedroom. I was thankful that my mom was at work, or else there would have been more explaining to do.

I looked down at my sister as I tried to find a way to explain something that I myself didn't even understand. "I don't know Sophs… Sometimes it just happens as people grow older."

"Buy why?!" she asked, tears of anger gathered at the corners of her eyes.

"Because…" I scratched my head as I had wondered the same question myself for years. "Because I think that as people grow older… They just forget to remember."

She stood there pouting in silence for a minute. But then she said gruffly, "I won't forget to remember…"

I smiled down at her as I admired her determination. Maybe she would be like me after all… So I wasn't the only one who seemed to believe at my age.

"Come on, I'll read as many bedtime stories with you as you want," I said trying to find a way to make her feel better. I haven't read with her for a while. But I knew it was something she always liked to do with me. It was how I taught her about the Guardians in the first place.

…

But my patience was stretched thin as I waited for Sophie to fall asleep. I really wanted to find Jack.

After I quietly left her room, I tip-toed down the hall to my bedroom determined to go look for him. I would grab my flashlight and check every inch and corner of the park and woods until he showed himself. No way was I going to let him run away on me again.

As I walked into my room, a shadow moved out of the corner of my eye and I nearly toppled backwards into my dresser. I quickly flicked on the light only to see the tufty white-haired boy standing in the corner.

"Geez," I breathed a tense sigh and clutched my chest, "You scared the shit out of me." I saw him wince slightly and quickly remembered his distaste for swear words, so I added, "Sorry… I was just about to go out and look for you."

"Well, I saved you the trouble then," he said smiling a little up at me. Except I could tell it was a bit forced.

So I decided to discuss the elephant in the room. I took several steps toward him and lowered my voice as I said, "How… How come I can still see you, but Pippa can't?"

It bothered me that she had forgotten. She was there. Right there with me. She saw everything and hung out with Jack just as much as I did. How could she have possibly forgotten all of that?

Jack exhaled and looked up into my eyes before quickly averting his gaze. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I…couldn't tell you Jamie. I'm barely used to people being able to see me at all." He then added in a voice barely above a whisper, "This is actually the first time I found someone who's forgotten about me."

"But…what about the other Guardians. Don't they know?" I asked. It was a question that I have been dwelling about for years and couldn't figure out.

But Jack merely shook his head. "All they know is that it just happens to all kids as they grow older. I'm surprised it hasn't happened to you yet."

That statement took me aback. "You…you sound as if you wanted me to forget about you," I asked accusingly.

"No, no, no," Jack said while shaking his head and rubbing his neck, "I just… **expected** it is all. When North said you were wishing for me… I couldn't believe that you even still knew who I was."

Suddenly guilt washed over me as I realized what I did. "I'm sorry…" I muttered looking off to the side.

"For what?"

"For ignoring you yesterday. It must have really scared you," I clarified. Seeing his eyes after realizing that Pippa had forgotten him… His eyes held so much fear in them when he thought I didn't see him. It was immensely selfish of me to treat him like that.

"It did," he said drawing me out of my thoughts. "I honestly was afraid to show myself to you at first… because I don't know how I would have reacted if you had walked through me…"

The guilt caused my throat to constrict again as I looked at him. He was looking past me, avoiding my eyes, but I could tell he was sad. The temperature in my room had noticeably dropped a little after he admitted to that.

So I walked forward and wrapped my arms around his shoulders as I said with as much certainty as I could muster, "I'll **never** forget about you."

I felt him tense up at first, but he reciprocated and wrapped his arms around me as well. It was almost like when I had hugged him before. He was cool to the touch, but not cold. And he even smelled like winter…

After a minute, I felt him pull back and I let go in return. "I uh..." he stammered while rubbing the back of his head, "I'll hold you to that you know."

I couldn't help but smile at him. Maybe it was just because I was older, but he acted different around me. I couldn't really place why, but I liked it.

"Soo…" he exclaimed after the awkward pause stretching his arms behind his back and turning to look back at me with that mischievous twinkle in his eye. "You and Pippa, huh?"

"What?" I asked dumbfounded not sure of where the hell that came from.

He grinned after seeing my discomfort. "You two are cute together," he said absentmindedly scratching his chin, "Shouldn't surprise me though. The whole 'childhood-sweetheart love tale' is one of the oldest out there."

"Jack… Pippa's not my girlfriend," I admitted suddenly feeling more awkward.

After the school had basically labelled me gay, I wasn't really sure if I fully accepted the category. I never felt attracted to guys before I met Alec… and I was definitely still attracted to Pippa. However, apart from kissing, I was inexperienced. So maybe I was bisexual or whatever. Or maybe I just had an infatuation with Alec…maybe he was just my type.

But this wasn't something I was about to explain to the ancient frost boy in front of me.

He was looking at me sideways wearing a giant look of skepticism, so I elaborated in a rush, "We're really good friends and I thought I might like her. But it just didn't really work out. We're good just staying friends."

"Heh, relax Jamie. I'm just messing with you," he said casually leaning against the wall. "But there was something I meant to ask you yesterday."

I cocked my head toward him as I waited for him to ask what he wanted to know. I had no idea what the spirit of winter needed some high school kid to tell him though.

He cleared his throat once before asking, "How…how did you get so many people to believe in me?"

I was a little surprised at the question. I didn't realize I had done anything of the sort. Pretty much everyone at school mocked me for ever having brought up the Guardians. But then I realized that perhaps my stories were successful after all…

I smiled and told him, "I'll tell you if you keep coming back to see me."

At that I saw him crack a grin as he said, "I told you. I owe you six years of fun."

"No," I said reiterating, "I don't mean a once a year thing. Today was amazing…. I want to have more days like that…" I said looking right at him.

Playing defeat, he rolled his eyes and said, "Fine. If you're going to twist my arm like that."

I smiled at him and he looked back up at me not saying a word. I never realized how much satisfaction one could get from being taller than the frost spirit.

He raised an eyebrow and asked, "So?"

"So what?" I asked confused.

"How'd you do it?" he repeated.

I grinned down at him and said, "Maybe I'll tell you next time."

He breathed in a silent laugh shaking his head slightly as he responded, "You really are a brat."


	5. Unknown Beginnings

Unknown Beginnings

**~B~**  
I couldn't help but be beyond thankful that Jack kept to his promise. I can't deny that I didn't completely trust him. His reputation of being flighty and a prankster, not to mention his disappearing acts, was a bit hard to shake. But he actually visited me several more times over the course of winter break. And…it was nice. I actually felt like I was getting to know him as a person outside of the lore that surrounded him. As it turned out, he seemed more…human than I would have thought. I guess I was used to seeing him as a powerful frost spirit that simply existed to bring snow and make mischief. But his personality and thoughts seemed to run much deeper than that, even though he never really shared them with me.

Sophie was equally happy to see him and was even more excited when he told her that he was going to try talking the Easter Bunny into giving her a special present come spring. But apparently the Easter Bunny and him weren't exactly on good terms…which didn't surprise me any. Jack told me what he did with his eggs several years back.

But I was grateful that Sophie seemed to have accepted and forgiven Pippa for not believing in Jack anymore. My eleven year-old sister was surprisingly mature at times, which was probably why I got along with her so well.

"Jamie?! You ready for school?" I heard my mom yell from the stairway.

I groaned and rolled over trying to remember if my alarm had even gone off yet.

"Jamie?!" she repeated.

"Yeah! Yep. Almost ready!" I called back, pushing the blankets off of me and throwing my legs over the side of my mattress. I shivered as the warmth of my comforter was quickly sucked away by the chill in my room. I had forgotten to shut my window again.

Maybe I was too anxious for him to come back. It probably wasn't healthy for me to sleep in near freezing temperatures… Plus my mom would lecture me about how I'm wasting money by letting the heat out.

I pulled on my jeans and threw on a shirt while wrapping a scarf around my neck. First day at a new school and I wasn't all that thrilled to look my best as I probably should have been. But I also didn't want to look like I was trying too hard.

I stumbled my way to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth before begrudgingly making my way downstairs.

"Jamie? Did you even bother to comb your hair?" my mom asked passively indicating that my hair looked like a cat had slept in it.

"No," I said as I swiped a banana off the counter. Sophie was already downstairs and eating breakfast. Unfortunately, even though her classes started after mine, she had to leave with me to avoid walking to school alone. My mom wasn't comfortable with letting her do that.

"Well, make sure you do that and brush your teeth," she advised as she kissed the top of my head and half-attempted to comb my hair.

"Yup, will do mom," I answered monotonously as I jerked my head away from her fussing fingers.

"Bye Sophs, have a good day," she said as she moved on to Sophie to kiss her.

"Bye mom," she replied tiredly as she kissed my mom's cheek and stood up to walk her empty cereal bowl to the sink.

"Bye, good luck today Jamie," she said smiling over at me as she opened the front door.

I smiled half-heartedly at her as she turned around to leave for work. My mom worked as a nurse at the local hospital and, as such, her schedule was a little unorthodox. She would work midnights a couple times a week, which caused her sleep schedule to be worse than mine. But she somehow always managed to be the most chipper person in the morning...haven't managed to figure out that mystery yet.

"You all set Sophie?" I asked my sister as she walked away into the living room.

"Yup, ready when you are," she said as I saw her collapse on the couch.

I went back upstairs to grab my backpack and paused to comb my hair through. I probably needed a haircut soon, it was starting to hang too much in my eyes. But I figured I looked presentable enough.

As we left the house and started walking to school, my sister managed to break the dreary silence.

"I'm really glad that at least I get to walk with you to school now," she said glancing up at me.

I smiled down at her and said, "Yeah, it's nice. And at least you don't always have to leave when mom leaves now."

She snorted in response. It was hard for her because my mom had to drive her to school before going to work, however early that may have been. I was off the hook, since I would normally catch a ride with Pippa in the morning to go to the private school.

"I still think it was really dumb that your old school kicked you out just for kissing a boy…" she said in a low tone.

I was taken aback for a minute. I wasn't even aware that Sophie knew what happened, let alone had an opinion on it. But I couldn't help but appreciate her support.

"Yeah… But it's probably better off this way anyway," I said smiling down at her a little.

She smiled encouragingly up at me but then something caught her eye up ahead of us, causing me to turn and look in the direction she was.

"Hey look! It's Cupcake and Monty!" she said as two figures emerged in the distance. "Let's catch up to them!" she said suddenly with more energy. She took off at a light run, causing me to pick up my pace as well.

"Hey Monty! Cupcake!" I called as we approached them. I was breathing a little heavier from the run as my body was still having difficulty waking up in the early morning light and winter chill.

"Jamie?" Monty asked turning around with a confused expression on his face. "Do you go to Burgess High now?"

"Yeah," I said stopping behind him. Looking at both of them up close really showed how much time had passed. They only lived a couple blocks away from me, but we still managed to lose touch somehow. Monty had grown taller and seemed to have also evolved his previously geeky style. He actually looked pretty good now and successfully pulled off thick-rimmed glasses. Cupcake was also a surprise. She had grown into her body and was attractively curvy. Her style was still her own, with her crazy-colored tights and military-style dress. But she managed to pull it off.

"Why the switch? I thought the Academy was a really good school?" he asked his eyebrows furrowing.

I shifted my weight awkwardly as I debated whether to tell them the truth or not. But I decided to settle on my rehearsed story. "I just didn't really like it. It wasn't a good fit for me," I said shrugging my shoulders. I noticed Sophie glance up at me before looking back to my friends.

"Oh, well…cool. It'll be good to see you more," Monty said as one side of his mouth drew up into a smile.

I smiled back at him, grateful that they weren't holding a grudge against me for losing touch with them. Granted, we were all somewhat responsible.

"Oh hey," Monty interrupted quickening his pace, "Ashley's probably waiting for us."

"Who's Ashley?" I asked as I walked a little faster to keep up with him.

Cupcake pulled my arm so she could lean in and mutter sarcastically, "Brace yourself. Monty turns into a love-sick puppy around-"

"Shut up!" Monty exclaimed turning his back to look back at us. But when I saw his face, I realized he was blushing and seemed a bit embarrassed.

Cupcake laughed and then turned to my sister, "So Sophie, what did you get for Christmas?"

My sister replied, but I couldn't help but phase out of the conversation for a minute. It was weird hanging out with my old friends again. It was almost as if nothing had changed between us. Life hasn't been one to give me second chances, but hopefully I could take this one and use it to rebuild our old friendships.

"Hey guys, where have you been?" a voice ahead of us called out.

I looked up to see a tall dark-haired guy leaning against an oak alongside the sidewalk. His hair fell past his ears in messy layers that framed an angled face that looked much too awake at this hour of the morning.

"Who are you?" I asked reflexively, but then pursed my lips once I realized I had that thought aloud.

His almond eyes flitted to me and he smiled charmingly before saying with a slight accent, "I thought I should be the one asking you that?"

Monty took it upon him to introduce us, albeit in a somewhat rushed tone, "Oh, Ashley, this is our old friend, Jamie. Jamie, this is Ashley."

"Pleasure," he said extending his hand while maintaining his smile.

"Same," I said while taking his hand to shake. "Your name's Ashley?" I asked abruptly. I seem to have trouble putting a cap on my thoughts in the morning.

He let out a small laugh and explained, "Yeah. My parents are from southern England. And it was also my grandfather's name."

"Oh…" I said feeling embarrassed. I would be the one to just blurt out potentially insulting questions.

"It's alright," he said sensing my discomfort. "I get quite a bit of confusion from people assuming I'm a girl."

"Guys, come on! Walk and talk. We're going to be late if you don't move it!" Cupcake ordered us as she started to resume our trek to school.

As we walked, I quickly realized what Cupcake had meant earlier. Monty was practically swooning over this Ashley guy all the way to school. Which then solved the dilemma my brain was having difficulty calculating. I had originally thought that Monty had a crush on a girl, when instead the crush was this guy. Which meant he was gay? Maybe. I don't even know anymore. I should find a time to talk to him about it…

I was immediately forced out of my thoughts after I got to school. I had never been in it before and felt like a lost freshman again. I couldn't find my classes without help, went the first three periods without books, for which I had to seek out the bookkeeper later, I didn't have any classes with my friends, I could barely remember the people I went to elementary school with, they didn't seem to recognize me either, forgot my lunch…and the list goes on.

So I breathed a sigh of relief when the day finally ended.

"Hey Jamie!" I heard someone call a short distance from me. I shut my locker and looked over to see Monty and Ashley walking toward me.

"Hey, guys," I said smiling since I was relieved to see familiar faces. "Where's Cupcake?"

"She has pottery club after school. But did you want to walk home with us?" Monty asked.

I hesitated for a minute, since I kind of felt like the awkward third-wheel around them without Cupcake. Even though, so far as I could tell, they weren't actually going out.

"No, go ahead without me. I'm going to wait for my sister to get out of school," I lied smoothly. Sophie had dance practice and my mom was going to pick her up tonight after work.

"Alright, see you tomorrow morning then," Monty said.

"Nice meeting you, again," Ashley said before he turned to follow Monty.

I waited a few minutes to make sure they were gone before deciding to head out. Except I took a roundabout route and walked towards the forest that lied alongside the neighborhoods, including mine.

It's not that I didn't want to walk with them. I just liked being by myself sometimes. And, honestly, Monty constantly laughing at everything Ashley said would get annoying right quick. Although, Ashley did seem like a cool guy. I learned his father's family was British, whereas his mother's family was Korean and Japanese. He apparently moved to the States when he was five and to Burgess only last year. And…I dunno. Maybe I could become friends with him.

I kicked a rock as I walked down the forest trail. The snow was still fairly fresh, as not many people seemed to walk this deep into the woods. But I brought my boots, so it didn't really matter to me.

However, I still felt like a child in that my friend-group was being invaded by other people. It shouldn't bother me. After all, I lost touch with them. But still…I couldn't help but feel left out.

I looked up as I neared my destination and found what I was looking for.

"I was hoping I'd find you here," I said as I walked towards the large boulder where Jack was perched upon.

He turned his head to look at me as I approached and smiled, "Hey kiddo. How was your first day at the new school?"

"Fine, I guess. Tomorrow will be easier," I said as I climbed up on the boulder to sprawl out next to him. The rock overlooked a fairly large pond, which had since frozen over in the cold, January weather.

"Did you at least make up with Monty and Cupcake?" he asked as he relaxed his legs to let them hang over the side of the rock, his staff resting alongside him.

"Yeah. It was almost like old times," I replied honestly. "Except they seem to have found a new friend."

"Well, that's good," he said encouragingly. But after seeing the look on my face, he grew concerned and asked, "Do you not like their friend?"

"No, it's not that," I started unsure of how to phrase my feelings. "He's a cool guy… But I think Monty has a giant crush on him, so it's hard to even talk to him when that guy's around."

"I wouldn't worry about it," he said as one side of his mouth curved up as he looked at me, "If your friends like him, then you can probably make friends with him too."

"Yeah…" I said, not sure if Jack really understood what I was saying.

We sat there in silence for a while. We seemed to have grown comfortable enough together where silence wasn't awkward. Or…maybe since he was a million years old, he just didn't really notice time as much. Either way, I was fine just being with him.

"So how come you like this place so much?" I asked turning my head away from the frost covered scene in front of me to look at the white-haired boy. This wasn't the first time I had found him here. In fact, I learned that he would often lounge about here when he wasn't working.

He didn't answer for a minute, instead he just stared directly ahead as if lost in thought. Finally he said in a distant voice, "I just like coming back here. It's the place where I had my first memories as Jack Frost."

It took a minute for me to process what he said. "Woah, woah," I suddenly exclaimed while turning my body to face him, which caused him to look over at me in surprise. "What do you mean 'your first memories as Jack Frost'? What were you before?" I felt as though I had understood him somewhat, but perhaps I had everything wrong.

He smiled warmly at me, which made my heart stop for a second, but I was pulled back to attention when he started to talk again. "I used to live here once," he said as he turned his head to gaze back out at the pond. "I had a family. And, like you, a little sister…It was nice." He smiled reminiscing over his memories and his eyes seemed to detach themselves from reality as he did so.

Whereas my mind was spinning at a thousand miles a second. My face held a look of pure shock as I put the pieces together. "You… you were human?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah," he answered simply.

"Well…how did you… How did you become Jack Frost?" I asked.

He took a deep breath as if preparing for a long story, but when he exhaled, it seemed as though his mood had fallen a little as well. I definitely felt the chill in the air more.

"I came out here with my sister to ice skate one day. But…she traveled too far inwards… and the ice was too thin… so it started to crack."

I realized I was holding my breath; however, I didn't want to do or say anything to distract him or make him want to stop talking. This was something I could never have imagined about him… He used to be human…

"She was scared… But I convinced her to play hopscotch with me. I was able to pull her to safety, but…I was too heavy and fell through…" He paused for a moment, but then quickly jerked out of his thoughts. "But!" he said brightening up all of a sudden, "The Man in the Moon saved me by turning me into Jack Frost!"

"But Jack… How old are you?" I asked in a low tone.

"Mm…" he leaned back on one arm and put a finger to his lips in thought. "Three-hundred years give or take. I'm actually the youngest of the Guardians."

He talked about all of this as if recounting a distant tale. But it was his life… And the story of how he practically died. And then… living for centuries with hardly a soul to talk to… I had always seen him as an ancient spirit who simply existed and did what he wanted. But knowing he used to be human…with a family he loved… and then to have it all ripped away and go through eternity alone…

It made me think back to the first time I saw him. Suddenly the look on his face when he realized I believed in him pierced right through me. It was the happiest I had ever seen a person. The inexplicable joy, relief, and wonder that was in his eyes… I didn't realize until now that it was the look of a human, who was ignored his whole life, and was suddenly overwhelmed that someone could know him again. That he wasn't imaginary.

"Jamie?" I heard him ask, concern threading through his voice.

It was then that I realized tears were falling down my cheeks. I sniffed once and then quickly turned to lean into him and wrap my arms around him in a hug.

"Hey, sorry kiddo," he said patting my back as I sniffed again, "I didn't tell you that to make you cry…"

"How?" I interrupted him as I squeezed my eyes shut to try and pull myself together.

"How what?" he asked confused, albeit he continued to rub my back.

I leaned back while keeping my hands on his shoulders so I could look him in the eye. "How do you manage to stay so happy all the time?"

His eyebrows came together as if unsure of how to answer me. He opened his mouth in preparation to answer, but closed it again as he changed his mind.

I felt another wave of tears build up as I was starting to think that he wasn't actually as happy as he appeared. But eventually, I felt his body relax and he reached up to grab onto my wrists before pulling them down and holding them in between us. He inhaled slightly and said simply, "Because it's easier, I guess?"

"That doesn't make any sense Jack!" I exclaimed as I heard myself practically grow frantic. How can one just will himself to be happy? If it were that easy, then I wouldn't have had to wallow for two years in my own fucking self-pity after my entire school basically rejected me.

I retracted when I saw him shrink away from me. His hands grew colder against my wrists and I immediately wanted to take back my outburst. "I'm- I'm sorry," I said forcing my voice to calm down.

"It's ok," he said looking at the ground. He let go of my wrists and folded his hands in his pocket. "I wasn't always happy," he said in a much more solemn voice and I felt the chill grow around me once again. "At first I was angry…and sad. I couldn't control my magic…so I ended up hurting a lot of people…" He glanced up at me once before averting his eyes again. He seemed…repentant. "So as I gained control over myself, I learned that instead of resenting everyone for ignoring me, it would be more fun to play tricks and games with them instead." He looked back up into my eyes and shrugged his shoulders as he added, "And to me, that was better. I could at least have my fun."

He smiled a little, which caused me to smile back in spite of pain I felt for him, despite it not even being my pain. It explained why I always felt the temperature change around us when his mood altered. But to know that he had to force himself to stay happy in order not to hurt others… How terrible that would be…

It hurt me to think of him as unhappy. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted his eyes to look like they did when they first saw me…

I quickly stood up and held out my hand as I said, "Come on. I have something to show you."

"What?" he asked surprised by my sudden change in demeanor.

"Just…come with me," I urged grabbing his arm to pull him along.

…

I unlocked my bedroom window in order to let him into my room. My mom would be back with Sophie pretty soon, so I knew I didn't have a lot of time alone with him.

"What'd you want to show me?" he asked, perching himself lightly on my desk and leaning into his staff.

I pressed the button on my computer and heard it hum as it started to come back to life. As I waited for it, I turned to look up at him. "Remember when you asked how I got so many people to believe in you?" I asked.

"Yeah…?" he said as his brow furrowed.

"Well, this is it," I said gesturing over to my computer.

The screen flickered on and I sat down in order to further explain to him. He hopped off my desk and I heard him stand behind me as he waited tensely. I wasn't exactly sure how I knew he was tense, but I was starting to get a sense for what he was feeling.

"I don't really understand, Jamie," he said hesitantly. I knew he generally understood what computers and various gadgets were, but since he had no use for them, he wasn't fully aware with how they were used in modern society.

I pulled up a website that prominently displayed a chunk of text along with the title, "Rise of the Guardians" by J. Light.

"What is it?" he asked as he leaned over my shoulder to look at it.

I suddenly became more aware of his hand on my shoulder and the feeling of him leaning over my back. But I shook the anxiety away and explained, "It's the story I wrote… A few years after I met all of you. It explains all the adventures I went on with you… Some of your backstory I made up since I didn't know too much, but it got a lot of hits. A lot of people read it across the globe. Some even emailed me saying they thought it was so good that they read it to their kids…"

I angled my head to glance at his expression. His eyes were wide and glassy as he stared at the screen, his lips parted in surprise as he tried to comprehend everything I was telling him.

But then I realized that our faces were mere millimeters apart and I reflexively drew away from him. I cleared my throat and stood up to be level with him. "So…what do you think?" I asked uncertainly.

After I said that, he seemed to have snapped out of his stupor. "So you're saying…that you wrote that story about me…and that caused more people to believe in me?"

I shrugged my shoulders simply and said, "Yeah…I think so. It's the only thing I can think of anyway."

He looked back over to the computer screen. At that moment I saw his shock melt away and his mouth grow into a broad smile. He turned to look up at me and I saw the joy and wonder in his eyes that I had hoped for. I almost felt my own eyes water after seeing him so happy again.

"Jamie…you're amazing!" he exclaimed. He slapped a hand to his forehead and hopped a step back while shaking his head in disbelief. I smiled at his amazement. To me I had just written a story, but to him…I had made it so he might never be alone again…

I rubbed the back of my neck feeling a little sheepish. At the time, I didn't even realize that I was doing anything. His reaction was more than I could have possibly hoped for.

Suddenly he flew into me while throwing his arms around my middle and squeezing the life out of me. After the initial shock, I smiled and wrapped my arms around his lower back, holding him against me.

I was so distracted by him that I didn't even realize it was snowing in my room.

"Jack!" I complained, letting him go and moving to open the window in attempts to whoosh the snow outside and off of my stuff.

"I'm sorry," he chuckled as he struggled to keep the beaming smile of his face. "It's just…I don't even know how I can make this up to you!"

"Heh…you don't have to make it up to me," I said as I opened the window and threw on my coat again.

"There's got to be something?" he asked expectantly turning his eyes to look up at me as he drew closer to me again.

I felt my heart practically beat out of my chest. Those eyes...and his smile. He was too damn cute…

"Just…" I started to say but paused after mentally slapping myself for wondering if he still smelled the same. "Just promise to come back?" I finished as my face grew more serious.

"I'll come back every day if you want me to!" he pronounced excitedly, practically bouncing with enthusiasm.

I laughed a little and said, "You can come back as often as you want to."

He covered his mouth with his hand and looked off to the side in thought. Then he turned back and said assuredly, "Just keep your window unlocked."

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> **Fluffy enough?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Let me know in a comment or leave a kudos!**  
> 


	6. Frozen Sunsets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So just as a recap, Jamie just turned 17**

Frozen Sunsets

**~B~**  
I walked into my room and, to my surprise, my face met a giant snowball almost instantly.

"Jack!" I yelled at him after wiping my face clear of cold ice. I looked over to see him doubled over in the corner laughing. "It's not funny. I've really got to study for my exams," I complained as I dropped my backpack and sat down at my computer.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I won't distract you anymore," he chuckled leaping and settling down with a soft plop on my bed. "What's that?" he asked after my computer booted back up.

I looked over to my screen to see a picture of Alec and me. I must have left it open…

"Nothing," I said trying to minimize it. But he was too quick for me. In a second, Jack was by my side to get a closer look at the photo.

"Woah," he said in astonishment, "Who is that?"

"It..It's just my friend Alec," I stammered, "From my old school."

"Alec? The one you had a crush on?" he asked turning his head to look at me.

Shit…I must have forgotten that I told him about that. "Yeah-" I said as my voice caught in my throat.

"That's just weird though," he said turning to look at the picture again. "He looks kind of like me."

"Th- That is really w-weird," my voice box croaked out as I stood up and took a step away from Jack. I really needed to calm down. It was just coincidence…

Jack straightened up and turned to face me, his face carrying that accomplished smirk.

"What?" I asked, my voice betraying my nervousness.

He took a couple steps closer as he said in a low voice, "I was wondering why you've been acting so weird around me…"

I stepped back trying to hold the distance between us. "What are you talking about? I'm not acting weir-" I yelped slightly after my back ran into my bookshelf, toppling several items onto the floor.

"Yeah?" he asked stopping right in front of me, tilting his head up so his crystal blue eyes could meet mine. "Prove it."

And with that he smoothly closed the distance in between us, capturing my lips with his.

I tensed up for a second, but instantly released a sigh and felt my body relax. He reached up his hands to hold onto my neck as he stood on his toes so he could more passionately push himself into me. After a moment he pulled back, his smirk having relaxed a little bit.

"Come on Jamie. I've been around for three hundred years…I can read people pretty well by now," he said in a low voice.

And with that he reached down to grip the hem of his hoodie and briskly pulled it over his head.

I felt a blush plume across my face as I exclaimed, "Jack! What are you-?"

But he reached out to grab my hand and confidently placed it on his hip as he pressed his now bare chest against mine. He looked up at me, his eyes half-closed, before pushing himself up to meet my lips again.

I didn't even remember removing his or my clothes. Next thing I knew I had him pressed into the mattress while I was pulsing into him.

"Jamie!" I heard him call my name…I wanted him to scream my name in ecstasy. I quickened my thrusts as I felt sweat completely coat my body.

"Jamie!" he called again. I couldn't…stop.

…

**~F~**

"Jamie!" I called his name yet again as I sat crouched on his bedpost with my staff across my lap.

Finally, he stopped thrashing around in his sleep. I saw him blink lazily as he gradually came out of his slumber.

However, the moment he saw me he shouted in surprise and practically jumped a foot in the air, causing him to topple off his bed pulling the sheets along with him.

I hopped off the bedpost and walked around the bed to make sure he didn't give himself a concussion after hearing him crash onto the floor.

"Are you alright?" I asked him, "Were you having a nightmare?"

"No." he responded gruffly as he struggled to untangle himself from his bedsheets, "I wasn't having a **nightmare**."

My eyebrows furrowed as he awkwardly stood up, wrapping the sheet around him as he did so. "I…just….," he stammered as if all of a sudden unsure what words were. "I gotta piss," he finally admitted disgruntled as he walked past me and out of his bedroom.

Hm…I forgot how moody teenagers got when you woke them up this early in the morning.

…

**~B~**

'Holy fucking…urrggghh. I'm so perverted! What the hell is wrong with me?!'

I groaned again and leaned over the sink to splash cold water on my face. 'Oh my God I'm a terrible person', I thought as I stared up at myself in the mirror. It's true though… in a lot of ways... Alec did remind me of Jack. Mostly just in how he looked, but still… I don't know. I sighed and hung my head to try and steady my thoughts. Maybe I've always had weird feelings for Jack…When I was a kid, I just wanted to see him. Because I always had fun with him…I looked up to him.

But now… It was different. I couldn't get him out of my mind, even when he wasn't not around. I found myself worrying about him…And now he was invading my dreams… Gah. This had too far gone.

I stared myself straight in the eye and silently confessed what I had been preoccupied with for the past couple weeks, I just have to admit that I maybe…ever so slightly…might have fallen in love with Jack Frost… … … … … … …urghh. I dropped my head again and gripped the sides of the sink. 'There has to be something terribly wrong with me', I thought.

I shook my head trying to shake those thoughts away, But right then I had to get a hold of myself. Jack's a several hundred year-old spirit and my subconscious passion plays about him were just completely unrealistic. He wouldn't even think about that kind of stuff…would he?

Gahh…shut up shut up shut up, I chastised my silent thoughts and splashed more water onto my face. The cold water wasn't helping any and I needed to actually wash myself off after that whole fiasco.

…

**~F~**

I hopped up so I could sit cross-legged on his desk, laying my staff across my lap and leaning my elbows on my knees. Hopefully he wouldn't stay sore with me…

I impatiently drummed my fingers against my cheek. Urgh…geez. How long did he need anyway? I felt like I had been sitting there for ten minutes already… 'Maybe I should freeze his cellphone or something', I thought as I scanned around the room.

Then I heard the door creak and I came back to attention as he walked in. His hair was wet, so it looked like he had just taken a shower. Explained why he was gone for so long.

But I figured he should be the first one to speak. He was usually pretty quiet when he first woke up and it seemed that I had gotten on his nerves.

But he didn't acknowledge me. Instead he walked to the other side of the room to rummage through his dresser. He pulled out a pair of jeans and a green t-shirt before getting dressed. I averted my attention by creating an origami snowbird in my hand to give him a sense of privacy.

He walked back to hang his damp towel on his door before finally walking over to me. I tried to at least impress him by making the snowbird flutter up and down, but he didn't pay me any mind. I felt my spirits sink a little, I wish he wouldn't resort to ignoring me whenever he was a little less than happy. I didn't even do anything this time…

Noticeably disgruntled, he picked up his backpack and reached around me to grab books and papers off his desk before shoving them haphazardly inside.

"What are you doing?" I asked him curiously while impatiently bouncing my knee.

"Getting ready for school," he answered plainly.

Well, at least he wasn't completely ignoring me…

"Why? You don't have any school today," I answered smirking at him.

He froze in the middle of what he was doing and glanced at me suspiciously. Still doubting me, he walked to the side of his desk in order to look out his bedroom window.

Finally! I saw a smile break out across his face before he asked for official confirmation, "You gave me a snow day?"

"Of course kiddo. You shouldn't have to take a boring test on your birthday," I assured him. Besides, I never joked around about snow days. Kid should've known better by now.

Jamie let out a laugh and instantly changed his tune. He abandoned his backpack by his desk, and dropped down to the floor to rummage under his bed. Pulling out his boots, he quickly shoved them on before grabbing his coat, scarf, and hat from out of the closet.

"Well, come on then, let's go," he said chuckling as he turned to leave his room.

I smiled and got up to exit out his window, being careful to close it after I left. I knew how mad his mom got the first few times I left it open.

A moment later, Jamie came out his front door, being careful to quietly close it as he did so.

I floated down until I gently settled on the bush next to him. "Why are you sneaking out?" I asked.

Although, my sudden appearance startled him and he jumped away from me in surprise. After catching his breath he said curtly, "I'm not sneaking. I just didn't want to wake anyone up."

I raised an eyebrow at him not really believing he was telling me the whole truth. He noticed my expression, but chose to turn and walk away from his house. I glided up beside him and asked, "So what did you want to do today?"

"I…" he started to say but then looked down at the sidewalk as he thought for a moment. Then he said, "I was thinking we could-"

"Hey Jamie!" a voice called a little ways down the street.

Jamie looked up and I followed his gaze to see three people who seemed to be waiting for him. He glanced over at me as if seeking my permission, to which I nodded my head in their direction before jumping up to be caught by the wind. I flew ahead until I landed in an oak tree right alongside them. The three people were obviously Monty, Cupcake, and what I could only guess to be Ashley. I hadn't ever seen him before, but that must have been the guy Jamie had told me about. Not surprisingly, none of them took notice of me.

I settled down on a larger branch and leaned my back against the rough trunk as I waited for Jamie to make his way over.

After a minute, Jamie caught up to them and asked, "What's going on guys?"

Monty looked at him confused and asked, "You didn't get my message?"

"I- uh…no I guess I didn't," Jamie confessed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh, we were just going out to breakfast at Doc's and I asked if you wanted to come," he said.

"Ah…sure. That sounds good," he agreed with a half-hearted smile.

"Alright, cool. Let's go," Monty said as they all turned around to continue heading in the direction of town.

Jamie stayed put and looked up at me and I could tell that he was worried about me. But I, for one, wasn't a fan of sitting around indoors. Or eating. 'Geez teenagers are boring', I thought. 'But…he should spend his birthday with his friends. I did my part already.'

"Go ahead," I told him in an attempt to reassure him, "I'll just go fly around Canada for a bit and be back later this afternoon."

He bit his lip and I knew he wanted to say something to me, but didn't want to appear as though he was conversing with an oak.

"Seriously, go. I'm behind on my work anyway," I said all too honestly. Spending so much time with Jamie was causing me to blow off some of my duties. 'Which…I wouldn't be surprised if North "contacted" me sometime soon about it', I thought remembering all too well his methods of getting me to listen to him. Just because his holiday was in Winter didn't give him the authority to boss me around…It wasn't like he was **that** much older than me.

"Jamie…what's up?" Cupcake asked from up ahead. He had been standing there staring at me for too long.

"Nothing," he said snapping back to reality and turning to catch up to them. But I noticed him slyly wave goodbye to me as he walked away from me.

'Well, now's a good as time as any to work double time', I sighed.

Standing up on the branch and gripping my staff, I summoned the wind and leaped into it to be blown northerly.

…

**~B~**

It's…it's not like I didn't like hanging out with my friends. I just couldn't shake the guilt of ditching Jack when he had remembered to give me a snow day on my birthday. And then not even being outside to enjoy it. I felt like a jerk.

"It's your birthday?" Ashley asked when it came up. "Well let me pay for your breakfast then," he offered generously.

"No…no. That's really nice of you, but you don't have to," I said trying to humbly turn him down.

"Well we've got to do something to celebrate," he added still trying to push his generosity on me, "It's not too often that we get a snow day on our last day of exams, and then on a friend's birthday to boot."

"It's-" I started to say but was interrupted again.

"Why don't we just go over to my place?" Ashley suggested. "We can ask if anyone else wants to join and…I dunno…just have a good time?"

"Yeah, sounds good to me," Monty chipped in while smiling over at Ashley.

Cupcake glanced at me noticing my hesitation and added, "Come on, Jamie. It'll be fun. I can bake a cake and, besides, it'll give you the chance to get to know more people around here."

"Yeah," Monty added chuckling a little. "I tell people that you're back and no one even recognizes you since you look a lot different."

"Seriously?" I asked him skeptically. I mean, yeah, I definitely grew a lot and…lost all my baby teeth I guess. But I figured some people would at least remember my face.

"Mhm," he said taking a sip of soda. "I mean, everyone's always obsessed with their group of friends. But I think I know a few girls who would want to come over if we told them it was for you," he added smirking up at me a little.

"Who?" I asked curiously.

"Hey, hey, Monty," Ashley interrupted. "How many people were you looking to invite? I don't think my parents would be ok with a big party."

Monty shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I guess just a couple. Who they are depends on what Jamie wants to do."

Great, now this is becoming all **my** responsibility. "Just…invite whoever. I don't really want a party either," I admitted honestly. "I'd be happy just hanging out with you guys."

I saw one side of Ashley's mouth curve up at me. Then he leaned back in his seat and added, "Yeah…we don't have to make it a big thing. I just meant that we could at least do something fun on your birthday."

"Why don't we…just hang out at the park?" I asked expectantly. "There's that big hill there and we could go sledding or something. After all, it is a snow day…" I added hopefully.

A bit of light entered Cupcake's eyes. "Yeah, duh! We haven't done that in so long," she exclaimed before nudging me in the ribs. "See? This was why we missed you," she added warmly.

I laughed and rubbed my side a little from where she nudged me.

"Well? Let's get going then," Monty exclaimed as well before standing up.

…

**~F~**

I couldn't really explain to Jamie why I liked this pond so much. What I told him was true, but I couldn't really explain out of all the places I've ever been, why this rock by this small body of water made me feel so…safe.

I shouldn't feel safe here. In fact, since I had my memories restored, I should feel traumatized by this place. So much pain happened here…

Mm…I shook my head and lay down on the cold surface of the boulder. Looking up into the gray sky, I tried to distract myself.

It's getting late though…I hope Jamie comes, I thought as I watched the wind gently push the branches of the trees. However, I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to stay with his friends. They're part of his reality after all.

I felt the temperature drop a little and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to refocus onto something more positive. But it wasn't working. With every sound I heard, I would look up to see if it was him walking toward me. But it was just the wind or a rabbit.

Urgh…I sighed and sat up before leaning on my staff to stand up. Hopping off the boulder, I walked into the middle of the pond, blowing away the snow as I did so, before settling down cross-legged in the middle.

Laying my staff across my lap with my hands on my knees, I took a deep breath and tried to empty my mind of all thoughts. I had learned how to this a long time ago, and I found it easier to relax.

"Jack?"

The sound of my name woke me lazily out of my trance and I opened my eyes to see that several hours must have passed. The sun had fallen, casting orange and pink shadows on the clouds and snow. Across the pond, I saw Jamie standing on the edge of it.

Suddenly filled with energy, I smiled and stood up before gliding over to him.

"Hey kiddo! How was your birthday?" I asked expectantly. I hoped he at least had fun.

He smiled down at me and said, "It was good. But uh…" he looked over my shoulder as he asked, "Did you do this?"

I raised an eyebrow and turned around to see that I had unintentionally transformed the small clearing into an immortal land of ice. Swirling ferns of ice grew out from where I had been sitting on the frozen pond, which glowed orange in the light of the falling sun. Further out, my ice reached the surrounding trees, which were dripping with tiny icicles and every surface was glazed with snow. The pine trees casting a protective white canopy over everything.

I smiled, proud of my work. Often times when I meditated, I would cause anomalies like this.

"Yeah, I just…it sometimes happens," I replied while scratching my temple.

"It's…amazing," he breathed as he gazed out at the landscape.

After a minute, I shifted my weight between my feet as I started to feel awkward that someone was so taken away by my accidental creation of ice and snow.

"So…what did you do today?" I asked him trying to change the subject.

He snapped back to attention and looked down at me as he said proudly, "After breakfast, I convinced everyone to go sledding. But Ashley actually owned a couple snowboards, so he taught me a few things."

Oh thank the moon he didn't sit inside all day… "That's great!" I said smiling broadly at him.

"Yeah," he sighed, "I'm beat." And with that he walked up to the boulder and started to climb up it. However, about halfway up he struggled to hold onto it because it was slick with ice.

"Here, let me help," I said as I jumped up onto the rock. Setting my staff down, I reached down to grab his hands and pull him up.

But the minute he let go of the rock, his weight proved too much for me to handle. Feeling us both fall, I panicked and summoned the wind the push us back up. However, Jamie continued to fall, whereas I briskly blew across the clearing and directly into a mound of snow.

The next thing I heard was the muffled sound of Jamie laughing. Digging myself out of the snow pile, I stood up to see him across the pond and doubled over as he struggled to breathe.

Skating back over to him while brushing snow off myself I grumbled, "It wasn't **that** funny…"

In between laughs Jamie gasped, "I'm sorry….but it was…You're just so weak." And he continued to snicker at me.

"No I'm not!" I replied hotly. "It's not my fault you weigh like a gazillion pounds!" I said gesturing to his figure. I wouldn't admit it to him, but he was right. I rely on my magic so much that I forget how little I actually weigh compared to someone like him.

Covering his mouth and settling for the ground, he sat down into the snow and buried his face into his knees to try and compose himself. "I'm sorry," he admitted again as he calmed down, "Can we start over?" he asked turning his head up to smile at me.

I couldn't help but pout as I glared at him while fighting against my pride. Eventually I gave in. "Fine," I sighed, "but only because it's your birthday." I walked next to him and plopped down in the freshly fallen cushion of snow.

"I am really sorry that I left you alone this morning," he said growing serious as he turned his head to look at me.

He…he actually felt guilty about choosing his friends over me?

"Don't feel bad, Jamie," I told him assuredly. "I gave you a snow day so you wouldn't have to go to school on your birthday. What you wanted to do was your choice."

I didn't want him to think that he had to worry so much about me. I've been around a long time, I could handle myself. 'Besides', I thought, 'the fact he lets me be around him so often is better than how everything was before anyway. I like whatever time we get to spend together.'

"But…I wanted to spend the day with you," he admitted hesitantly.

I turned to look at him. "You did?" I asked surprised. I had no idea why, but this sixteen year old kid made me feel…warm? 'No…'I thought to myself, 'that's impossible anyways. I guess I'm just not used to someone actually thinking about me.'

"Yeah," he breathed averting his eyes from mine. "I honestly couldn't stop thinking about you all day," he admitted glancing up at me briefly before returning his gaze to the frozen pond.

I watched him for a moment, not sure how I should react. But I couldn't help but smile at his thoughtfulness and turned to gaze out at the pond in silence with him.

"Jack…I really like you," he said suddenly while keeping his eyes on the pond.

I looked at him again not sure of what to say. Finally I said, "I like you too…After all you're my favorite kid." I smiled at my own admission.

All of a sudden he turned and reached to hold onto the back of my neck before leaning in to press his lips into mine.

He broke the kiss after a second and slowly looked up at me, which made me realize I was staring at him wide-eyed and probably in shock.

And then the stammering started. "I- I- Jamie… I meant… You-" but I didn't get to formulate a full thought before seeing his eyebrows come together as he quickly stood up and walked away.

"Jamie!" I called turning to see him march up the path in the direction of the setting sun. "Jamie, wait!"

I hastily grabbed my staff and glided to catch up with him. But he continued storming off with a dead set expression on his face as he didn't even look at me. "Jamie! Come on!" I yelled at him in frustration after realizing he was choosing to ignore me again. "I didn't mean…"

He quickened his pace to put distance between us as he continued to trudge up the forest path. Biting my tongue, I went to my last resort. I summoned a magical ball of snow in my hand before reeling back and chucking it at him. 'I'll show you the spirit of fun…'

But he swiftly dodged and my magic snowball flew on by. Urgh…seriously? Enough was enough.

I summoned the wind and flew over him before promptly landing in front of him. Not giving him the chance to nudge me aside, I grabbed his face and pushed myself up to shove my lips against his.

Releasing him, I pulled back a little and let loose on him. "Would you STOP ignoring me already?! I don't know WHAT I should feel about you, alright?! All I know is it feels weird whenever I'm with you and it feels terrible whenever I'm not! And- …"

I trailed off after realizing that he was sporting a confident smirk on his face as he watched my furious rant. Wait just a minute…

"You did that on **purpose** didn't you?!" I yelled at him again. "You weren't actually mad at me!"

He chuckled lightly and said, "No…But you are really stubborn. It was the only way I could think of to make you say what you actually were thinking."

WHAT?!

"You TRICKED me!" I shouted in realization, but that only made his smile grow bigger.

"Come here you," he said as he grabbed me around the middle to hug me.

"You BRAT! Let me go!" I complained as I struggled to push and wriggle myself free of his grip.

He only laughed and held on tighter, "Not gonna happen." Great, now he knows he's physically stronger than me.

I stopped trying to squirm away and relaxed against him. He loosened his hold and pulled back still grinning at me. But I pursed my lips and refused to look him in the eye.

However he drew me out of my pout after I felt him lightly kiss my forehead.

"Thanks for giving me a good birthday," he said warmly.

After looking up in his eyes, I realized how sincere he was being.

"You're welcome," I muttered quietly.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" he asked expectantly.

"… Yes."

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Summer never seemed so long before...What will Jamie do?**
> 
> **Thanks for reading! Now it took you 5 minutes to read this chapter, you can probably spare a few more to leave a comment ;D**


	7. He's My Guardian

He's My Guardian

  
**~B~**  
I found myself doing it again.

I lay there in bed spacing out into the patterns the shadows on my ceiling created. It was late and another day had gone by where I haven't seen him. My mind was wracked with guilt and fear that I had pushed him away again. It had been several months since I had kissed him, and he hadn't brought what happened up once. And at first, I thought I was just imagining it, but his visits hadn't been as frequent. After the first few weeks, I realized it was because he had stopped coming to my window. The only times I ever saw him were outside or in the woods. I felt as though he was avoiding me…

I sighed and folded my hands underneath my head. _He has to be avoiding me_ , I thought, _there's no other explanation for it. I fucked everything up-_

A soft knock on my bedroom door pulled me out of my thoughts. A second later, my mom gently pushed open the door and stepped into my room.

"Hi baby," she said gently after recognizing my melancholy, "I don't mean to butt in, but there is something I've been needing to talk to you about."

"What?" I said dully, my lack of interest weighing heavy on my tone. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to my mom right then, but I knew it would be rude to tell her to leave.

"It's about Sophie…" she started to say but paused after hearing me exhale and seeing me purse my lips. "Look, Jamie. Dr. Thatcher is concerned. She told me that last session, Sophie admitted that you were encouraging her dependence on her **friends** ," she said emphasizing the last word.

I snorted cynically at her use of that word. I knew by 'friends' she meant the Guardians. Ever since Sophie had seen Jack, her belief in the Guardians was as strong as ever despite her turning thirteen. Her insistence and anecdotes first drew the attention of her classmates, who started making fun of her during school. Sophie's rational response was to then beat the weasels up.

So that eventually drew the attention of her teachers and school psychologist, who suggested to my mother that she seek therapy for Sophie. I was fairly certain that she was on the watch list for schizophrenia now.

"Why is everyone making such a big deal out of this?" I sharply argued as I pushed myself up into a seated position on my bed. "It's not like she's hurting anyone."

"She is, Jamie. She's getting into fights because of it-"

"That's because of the other kids! **They're** making fun of her! To me that sounds like **they're** the ones in the wrong here, not Sophie," I insisted growing more heated.

"Jamie…" my mom started to say but paused and clenched her jaw as she considered how to frame her thoughts. "Jamie," she repeated as she sat down on the edge of my bed, "It's one thing for kids to have imaginary friends. It's another when they put the imaginary friends before their real friends. This is affecting her grades, her friendships, and I'm sure you've noticed that she's not as happy as before."

That caused me pause. I broke eye contact with my mother and stared at something behind her. It was true that everything she said has been stressing Sophie out a lot. But Sophie always needing to be right about everything definitely wasn't helping her case at all.

My mother started to talk again, "I'm just asking you not to encourage her if she talks to you about them, alright? Just…gently remind her that she should be focusing on her friends. On people everyone can see…alright?"

After rubbing my lips together and inhaling deeply, I gave in. "Alright," I said in a low tone.

"Thank you, Jamie," my mother said as she stood up. "Now you should probably get ready for bed," she added.

"Yeah…I know," I responded quietly. Normally I would be annoyed when she reminded me to do things I was already about to do. But our previous conversation had suddenly left me feeling…empty.

"Alright, good-night," she said before leaning down to kiss the top of my head.

"Night, mom," I replied.

She smiled down at me and lovingly caressed the back of my head before turning to leave my room.

But I begrudgingly chose not to get ready for bed yet. Instead, I slunk back down to lie flat and continued staring up at my ceiling.

I did need to talk to Sophie, but maybe not in the way my mom wanted. Because I knew she wasn't imagining the Guardians. I knew she wasn't defending mere hallucinations.

_However,_ I thought, _I do need to tell her to keep her mouth shut. It isn't worth getting in trouble or being misdiagnosed for. I mean…I believe in them too. But I don't blab to everyone I know about them._

But what my mom said slowly bore into me. That my sister should be focusing on friends other people can see…

_No…I'm not abandoning my friends for Jack. I've actually made a lot of friends this last semester. It's different…_

Then I started thinking about Jack avoiding me again. I should never have been so bold with him… I just… I just believed so much that he wanted to get closer to me. But…maybe not in the way I wanted.

_Gah_ , I groaned while laying an arm over my eyes, _I took what Monty said too quickly and ran with it. I should have just let things stay the way they were… At least then he wouldn't be afraid to come visit me._

Enough was enough. I quickly stood up and walked over to my dresser to change out of my jeans. If Jack didn't want to talk about it, then I wouldn't bring it up. I would just have to be satisfied with seeing him once in a while like I had been.

Collapsing back into my bed, I slid myself under the covers and pulled them over me. I turned onto my side and grabbed my other pillow to hug it against my chest before closing my eyes to settle into sleep. I just…have to control my thoughts a little. Stop thinking about him like that. Focus on my own life…

…  
...

_Several weeks prior_

"I'm SO glad you convinced us to come here," Monty stated as he collapsed onto the bench next to me breathing a little heavy from exertion. "I forgot we would always spend your birthday outside since you were always lucky to get enough snow on it."

I snorted quietly at his reasoning. It seemed Monty had forgotten all about Jack as well. It never made sense to me that such memories would simply disappear like that. But after learning Pippa could no longer see Jack, I paid attention and asked her questions about him. It seemed like she didn't forget him entirely. More like rationalized him out of her former belief. She still could recall details about his personality that only we could know about, but she always recalled it as if we had just been playing pretend as kids.

It still didn't explain why my mind hadn't done the same thing, though.

I looked up to see Ashley teaching Cupcake how to snowboard. Monty and I had already had our turn and needed a rest. They'd probably have to go home soon and change. Unlike me, they hadn't worn the right clothing to fall down in the snow all afternoon.

"It's really cool that Ash had two snowboards at home," I commented leaning back against the bench.

"Yeah," Monty breathed, a cloud escaping his mouth. "The boots are probably a little big for Cupcake though."

"Mm…" I nodded in agreement.

We sat there in silence and laughed a little at Cupcake's effort. She had never gone skiing or snowboarding before, so it's not like we expected her to do well on the first go. But it was hard to resist the sight of someone tumbling down a hill. However, she caught on surprisingly quickly for someone with so little experience.

"Hey, Monty…" I started to say, but paused after losing the courage to ask what I had been wanting to know for the last month and a half.

"What's up?" he asked while turning his body to more easily look at me.

I stared down at my hands and cracked my thumbs as I fought against the urge to change the subject. But my curiosity got the better of me, "Cupcake said a while ago that you had a bit of a crush on Ash…Does he know?"

Monty smiled and asked, "What? That I'm gay or that I like him?"

"Both, I guess?" I said moving to sit on my hands so I could stop fidgeting and turned my head to look over at him.

"Ah yeah, you kind of disappeared after you left to go to St. Peter's," he said referencing my old school. I bit my lip feeling a little guilty that I had unintentionally lost touch with all of them.

But he continued, "Well…in my freshman year of high school, I came out to most people I knew." He let out a small laugh before adding, "Actually, I kind of went through a phase where I tried to be super obvious about it. Like wearing rainbow clothes and crap. I even died my hair blue."

That mental image made me let out a laugh. "Oh man, you'll have to show me pictures of that," I said.

He chuckled a little and promised, "Yeah, yeah. I will. But yeah," he continued getting back on track, "Ashley knows. He doesn't care. I was afraid of being alienated at first, but he was really supportive. In fact, in our freshman year gym class, I would, like, wear these tiny shorts and a tank-top. Again," he added as subtext after he heard me laugh, "it was my funny little fashion phase. But anyway, Ashley ended up convincing most of our class to dress like that for the last couple weeks of school. Confused the shit out of Mr. Perkins," he said chuckling and referencing the overweight gym teacher.

"Oh my God," I said smiling as I pictured the bewildered expression on Mr. Perkins's face at seeing an entire gym of boys inexplicably dressed like they popped out of the 1960's. "That's really cool of Ashley, though," I added a little impressed at his ability to rally people like that.

"Yeah…he's a really cool guy," Monty added with a halfhearted smile as he looked out at the hill where Ashley was teaching Cupcake.

"So…he knows you like him, then?" I asked hesitantly, unsure if I was prying too much.

"Hm?" Monty said snapping back to the conversation. "Yeah, I mean, I guess. I jokingly flirt with him and stuff, but he's straight. So…it's not like you can force someone to be into you, you know?" he admitted logically.

"Yeah…" I said as I trailed off into my own thoughts.

"Why'd you want to know?" he asked me casually.

"I…guess I was just wondering," I said gazing up into the sky and squinting as the sun had just peeked out behind a cloud.

"Ah…alright," he said slowly before shrugging his shoulders. "But yeah, I guess the best I can do is put myself out there and…if something works out, it works out," he said with a more upbeat attitude. "Hopefully my chances will get better once I get out of this tiny town," he added wryly.

I smiled at his comment. Burgess was pretty small, which was why I had to travel so far to go to the other school.

However, I felt better after talking to Monty. I admired him a lot more for having admitted all that to me. He had grown up to be a lot bolder than I would have thought. And…he put himself out there, and yeah, it didn't work out probably how he wanted. But at least he tried. He actually had a pretty cool perspective about things…

"Come on," Monty said as he stood up, "Let's see if they'll trade us now."

…  
…

At first I thought it was just in my dream. I thought there was a bird trapped in my room somewhere. But after I finally opened my eyes and woke up, I realized it was coming from my window.

There was a rapid tapping on the glass and after a moment of disorientation, I saw moonlight shining into my room and Jack hovering just outside the glass.

I shoved the covers off of me and walked barefoot across the cold floor to unlock my window.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked pulling open the panels and moving aside to let him through. He's never shown up at my window in the middle of the night before.

"I…uh…" he said as he swung himself inside. He had his hood up and appeared a little nervous, which was unlike him. "I'm sorry to wake you up," he admitted while leaning on his staff.

"Is something wrong?" I asked growing concerned. He's never woken me up like this and his behavior was unusual.

"Not really, it's just…There's something I've been needing to tell you," he said straightening up to his full height and removing his hood before looking at me with an uncharacteristically serious expression.

Oh no…I thought as I felt my whole body stiffen. It's about what I did...I went too far and it wasn't my place to …

"I…won't be able to come visit you for a while," he said in a low tone while diverting his gaze to a point on the floor.

I knew it…I pushed him away… Just when I thought I got what I had wanted… Just when I finally had my Guardian back…

"J-Just for the summer!" he added after seeing what must have been the most dismal expression on my face.

I quickly looked up at him and asked, "What?"

"I'm sorry…" he said growing serious again. "I should have told you months ago. But I'm not able to come visit you during the summer."

"Why not?" I asked.

He took on that frustrated look he would get whenever I asked him questions about himself that he never had to explain before. "Because…I'm a winter spirit, Jamie. I go wherever winter is," he said making me feel like an idiot.

"Well…I mean…you can't just stop by once in a while?" I asked feeling as though he was just looking for excuses to avoid me.

He sighed and continued exasperated, "No, I…you see…I can only fly on cold currents. When it gets too warm, it's like the air forces me away."

"Oh…" I murmured while mentally kicking myself for assuming something so self-centered. "So…you won't be back until, like, November?"

He pressed his lips together uncertainly as he said, "Mmm…it's hard to say kiddo. I don't control when the seasons shift, I just travel along with them. But here in Burgess…yeah…usually late November or early December."

I nodded my head and avoided his gaze. He's going to leave for months without even mentioning-

"Hey," he said kindly as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "I promise I'll come back. I think I'd miss you too much otherwise," he admitted honestly, which, caused my heart to leap.

I looked back into his eyes and felt the corner of my mouth pull up into a half-smile.

"Just one condition," he continued placing his hand on his hip and looking at me with that mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"And what's that?" I asked suspiciously, but even I could still hear the disappointment in my voice.

"Look, Jamie," he said, "I know you're really lame and everything without me around- ow," he laughed after I lightly punched him on the shoulder. "But just…promise me that you'll have fun messing around and doing whatever stupid things kids your age normally do…alright?" he asked looking up at me expectantly.

It took me a moment to answer because I found myself getting lost in his eyes again. In certain kinds of light, it almost looked as though I could see frost patterns embedded among the blue…

"Jamie?" he asked breaking me out of my trance.

"What?" I started as I came back to attention. "Uh...yeah…sure. I promise."

"Good," he said smiling at me before turning towards the window.

"Jack, wait…" I said reaching out to grab onto his forearm. He turned his body back towards me with the moonlight illuminating his features, which were looking at me a little surprised. "I… …Do you have to leave right now?"

He nodded sullenly, "Yeah…I didn't realize spring was coming so early. It actually took me twice as long as it normally does to get here…"

Suddenly a new worry came to my mind. "Well, what if…What if I forget about you while you're gone?" I asked him.

He smirked at me and replied confidently, "You won't."

My eyebrows came together at his sudden assuredness. Before he always seemed afraid that I would forget about him or get angry at him so much that I would force myself to forget about him.

"What makes you say that?" I asked him skeptically.

He shrugged his shoulders and declared, "Because if you were to forget, you would have forgotten by now. And…you were the last light. My first light." He smiled warmly at me, which only caused me to return the gesture.

Half a minute went by where we didn't say anything to one another, and part of me hoped he had decided to stay longer; however, he broke the silence and stated, "Look…Jamie. I'm your Guardian. I'm here to make you happy and make some of your winter days a little more fun. But in the end...I want you to have a normal life…"

Oh...low blow. He wants me to be normal...And at that moment, I felt the most abnormal I had ever felt in my life. Urggh…I'm such an idiot, I internally chastised myself. He's my Guardian. That's all he wants to be.

"Try not to be lame, ok?" he pleaded trying to provoke me into getting annoyed at him again.

I gave him a halfhearted smile and nodded my head in response.

He turned and raised his foot to step onto the windowsill. But before he stood up on it, he quickly changed his mind and wheeled around to face me. Very briskly he leaned in and pressed his lips to the tip my nose.

"ARgh!" I jolted as his lips felt painfully cold against my skin so much it burned.

I raised a hand to rub my skin as he pulled away grinning widely. He winked once at me before briskly hopping onto the sill and blowing away in the wind.

I stood there stunned for a second not sure what just happened. And then I realized…

The little shit just nipped my nose!

  



	8. Honesty Came Before Shame

Honesty Came Before Shame

**~F~**  
The icy wind rushed underneath me as I surfed a large current up in the stratosphere. I loved riding the wind, it was possibly my most favorite thing to do. The moment I had first learned I was able, I couldn't stop.

I leaped up before twisting to dive down two-hundred feet onto a slightly cooler torrent. It traveled a little faster, but I had to concentrate on not being flung in the wrong direction. I held my course and traveled 60 degrees north, before gripping my staff tightly and rolling out of the wave. I fell another hundred feet in order to catch a drift headed southeast across the Pacific. Even though there was nothing remotely interesting for thousands of miles, I preferred going across this ocean. It was faster for me.

I was really glad that winter had moved early this year. But fortunately, it coincided with Easter for once. When Bunny's holiday and my season overlapped, we had the habit of butting heads and usually I would be the only one who would get reprimanded. Bunny would always get so angry with me for not holding back the snow on his day. But, come on. It's not my fault his holiday doesn't land on the same day every year…I'm not psychic.

Unfortunately, though, it was the weekend and I couldn't surprise Jamie with a snow day. I knew it was his last year of school and I had wanted to help the kid out as much as possible.

No matter, I thought, he'll be happy to see I'm back.

I grinned to myself and jumped fifty feet as I felt new energy surge through me. Allowing myself to submit to gravity, I plummeted hundreds of feet out of the sky letting myself absorb the exuberance of it all.

As I approached the Earth, I twisted my body so I could catch a sideways drift and flew at incredible speeds over the familiar forest before emerging in the city of Burgess. I quickly reached out to grab a flag pole and swung around it to slow my inertia before tossing myself up so I could balance on the top.

Looking around, I smiled at how peaceful the city appeared. The trees had long lost their leaves and the ground was bare. _Geez, without me everything would look so dismal this time of year..._ I thought as I noted the absence of snow.

I decided to hold back the snowfall until Sunday evening and just visit Jamie. Summoning my wind, I allowed myself to be blown off the flag pole so I could guide myself over the neighborhood to his house.

As I approached, I noticed his mom's car wasn't in the driveway and instantly grew disappointed that he wasn't home either. Eh…If he isn't, I can spare a couple hours to wait for him, I told myself trying to keep my spirits up. I had worked double time the last week so that I could afford to come visit him without falling behind.

I landed by his house and jumped up to the second story to grab onto the tree branch that extended close to his window. The brightness of the sun outside made it impossible to see in without bringing my face up to the glass. But once I did, I felt my body freeze.

It was him and Pippa…She was pressed up against him holding his face in her hands and kissing him intensely. His eyes were closed and was gently holding her hips as he followed her movements. After a moment, she reached down to grasp the hem of his shirt and pulled it upwards. He raised his arms to let her pull the fabric over his head, but his expression changed to surprise once she shoved him backwards onto his bed. He raised himself up on his forearms and grinned at her as she climbed on top of him and bent down to continue kissing him and-

I pulled myself away from the glass and squeezed my eyes shut remembering why I had decided a long time ago to stay away from windows. Oh no… I felt my magic spark and sensed the ice sprouting from my fingertips as I started to lose control over it. Clutching my staff, I tried to stop the cold that was threatening to take over, but it was unavoidable.

I needed to get away…

Quickly summoning my wind, I leaped back into the air and flew away as fast as I could.

…

…

 **~B~**  
Pippa crushed her lips back into mine as she crawled over me, settling her weight on top of my hips. I could feel the heat warm my cheeks and I couldn't help but flex my hips underneath her. It elicited a soft moan from her and prompted her to push against me in return. Inhaling deeply, I sat up wrapping my arms around her lower back. She bit my lip and turned her head to deepen the kiss, but I was heavily distracted with the feeling of her skin on my fingertips as I slid a hand up the curve of her back.

She pulled back from the kiss, smiling at me, before turning her attention on my ear. Her breath lingered causing shivers to run erratically down my spine as she delicately left a trail of feather-soft kisses before pressing her lips into my neck.

I sighed at her touch and resumed my intention of unhooking her bra. Opening my eyes to refocus, my fingers found the clasp. However, I noticed a peculiar array of light out of the corner of my eye…

"Oh shit…" I breathed after noticing the unnatural frost pattern that covered my bedroom window.

"What?" Pippa asked alarmed as she sat up straight expecting me to have heard my mom or sister come home.

My mind had frozen and left me unable to speak. He was here… He was just here and…

"Jamie?" she asked holding the same anxiety in her voice as she pushed herself off my lap. She stood and looked at me with a worried expression, obviously wondering what could have made me stop so abruptly just as we were about to have sex.

I quickly shook my head and snapped back to reality. "I'm…I'm sorry," I finally projected. "I just…forgot…I've gotta do something," I staggered only partially making sense. Suddenly standing up, I grabbed my shirt and coat from the floor and went out my bedroom door.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she followed me down the stairs.

"I'm so sorry…I just forgot I had to pick up something for my mom before five," I smoothly fabricated as I shoved my foot into my boot and haphazardly tied the laces.

"Do you need me to drive you?" she asked, her concern making me feel like the biggest asshole on the planet.

"No! No…it'll be faster if I ride my bike and cut through the woods," I lied again in an attempt at convincing her to go home. "Can I call you when I get back?" I asked finishing the second boot and looking up at her.

"Yeah…sure," she said in confusion as I stood up and opened the front door.

"Alright! I'll talk to you later!" I said walking out with her behind me and jumping down the steps.

It wasn't until I had already grabbed my bike and started to peddle away that I realized I didn't kiss her goodbye like I normally would. And the guilt just kept on building…

I peddled as fast as I could through the neighborhood before reaching the edge of the woods. Luckily it was cold enough that the ground had hardened; however, the dirt and grass were still more difficult to ride over than smooth cement.

My wheels slid to a halt as I reached the clearing with the pond. Instantly, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw he had come here as I hoped he would. And like I had once seen before, he was sitting with his legs folded in the middle of the pond, holding his staff across his lap as if meditating. However, the frost patterns were different. Instead of the ornate lace that grew around him, it appeared as though a lightning bolt had struck where he sat and seared across the pond in all directions.

I dropped my bike and slowly walked toward the pond. "Jack?" I called gently, breaking the silence of the forest.

…

…

 **~F~**  
I opened my eyes and quickly stood up once I realized he had found me. In the same moment, I felt the temperature drop almost ten degrees.

"You're mad at me," he quietly stated as he stopped at the edge of pond, noticing the drastic change in temperature.

"No…No I'm not mad," I defended myself and clutched my staff as I desperately tried to channel my magic into it, but I felt the temperature lower a few more degrees despite my efforts.

"Jack…you can't lie to me. Your magic is like Pinocchio's nose," he admitted, the concern heavy on his tone as he realized he had upset me. However, he didn't know quite how dangerous the situation was becoming. How close I was to losing control near him…and the fear wasn't helping my resolution any.

"Please, Jamie. Just leave me alone," I said gripping my staff even harder as I took a few steps away from him. _For once, just listen to me…_

He put his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground for a second. Then he apologized, "I'm sorry, ok? I didn't know you were coming today and… I didn't know it would upset you…"

"You didn't upset me, kiddo. I promise. But **please**. I need to be by myself right now," I pleaded, the desperation woven into my voice as I glanced up at the sky after feeling the wind pick up around us.

"I was just doing what you asked!" he argued obstinately and at a lower volume added, "You wanted me to do normal things, so I did."

"I did!—I do!" I frantically tried explaining intermittently looking up at the darkening sky, "You did nothing wrong. I just-"

"Do you care about me or don't you?" he demanded to know at the edge of the pond.

My voice failed as my panic intensified. I didn't have time to talk to him…This pond wasn't enough to calm me down. I had to get far away before…

"Jack…please," he said gently as he took a step on the frozen surface.

"Jamie! Don't!" I yelled and reached a hand out in front of me to gesture him to stay off my pond.

But instead of just a simple motion, a wave of molten ice exploded from my hand and hit him. I stood rooted to the spot as I watched him fall backwards onto the dirt. He struggled to sit up, the slush having soaked his coat and hair, freezing them through, and leaving thick flakes on his face.

We stared at each other in shock for a moment, neither of us believing what had just happened. Then I squeezed my eyes shut as if trying to forget I had lashed out, but horribly thankful that I didn't hurt him.

"I'm sorry…" I uttered before summoning my wind and having it carry me away.

…

…

 **~B**  
In the short time it took me to reach home, the snow had already accumulated three inches. I had to dismount my bike as it wasn't built to ride in snow. But my clothes seriously restricted my movements and walking proved treacherous.

As I stumbled inside, my mom turned around from preparing dinner to greet me. However, her eyes grew several times larger once she saw the state I was in.

"Oh my God, Jamie!" she shrieked, dropping the knife she was using and rushing across the room to help me. "What happened to you?!" she asked completely hysteric.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-water f-f-f-fro-ohz a-a-at," I seriously struggled to speak as I was violently shivering and I couldn't feel the muscles in my face.

Without waiting for me to attempt to finish she ripped off my coat and led me through to the living room, not caring I still had my wet boots on.

"James, you need to take everything off," she ordered as she unzipped my wet hooded sweatshirt and helped peel it off my arms.

I grappled with the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head before I fumbled with the belt of my pants. However, my attempt at maintaining my dignity was lost as I failed at undoing the metal buckle. My hands were totally numb and shaking with such ferocity that I couldn't even locate it.

My mom ended up quickly assisting me with my failure and I pushed my pants down as she threw a thick, woven blanket over me.

I collapsed backwards into the couch and clutched the blanket around me, trying to hold in whatever remaining heat I had left, while my mother freed my feet of my boots, socks, and pants.

"What's going on?" Sophie's worried voice emerged from the staircase.

"Sophie!" my mom called as she sat next to me and vigorously rubbed the blanket over my chest and back. "Would you go turn on the shower for him? Just lukewarm, not hot, alright?"

"What happened?" she asked wanting answers before she took action.

"He got soaked outside and the temperature dropped. He'll be ok though," she reassured as she rubbed the blanket over my torso to create heat friction as my body continued to uncontrollably shake.

"Ok," my sister agreed as she ran back upstairs to follow command.

I folded my feet up underneath me and focused on producing enough heat to settle my tremors. My mom just gently soothed me as she continued to rub my chest, arms, and legs in order to encourage my circulation. I had never been so thankful that she was a nurse.

"So what happened?" she asked after my shivering had calmed down.

"I…uh…A car splashed water on me. And then th-the temperature j-just plummeted," I stuttered and creatively lied again. I hated lying so much, but I had long ago considered the ramifications of telling the truth.

"Well, you'll be alright," she said rubbing my back again. "You scared me for a minute though. I was afraid I would have had to drive you to the hospital in a snowstorm," she confessed.

I turned my head to look out the living room window and saw a torrent of a storm going on outside. I bit my lip realizing that Jack had caused it. That I had inadvertently caused it.

"Alright," my mom said standing up, "Go hop in the shower and just stay there until you warm up. Make sure the water isn't too hot when you first get in, though," she warned.

I stood up, still clutching the blanket around me, and headed upstairs. As I approached the bathroom, my sister emerged from her room looking at me with a concerned expression.

"It was Jack, wasn't it?" she asked in a voice quiet enough so my mother wouldn't hear.

"Yeah…" I said. "But it was just an accident."

She nodded and gave me a half-smile before returning into her bedroom. I turned into the bathroom, shut the door, and dropped the blanket before stepping into the shower.

The warmth of the water made my skin tingle as it hit me. I breathed in the steam and stood there for a long minute, absorbing the comfortable heat. After a moment, I plugged the drain and knelt down in the tub, letting the water continue running over my back and collect around my legs.

As the physical ailments washed away, my mental anxieties came to the forefront.

I just didn't understand what I did wrong… Even if he was upset with me for…whatever. This storm seemed like an overreaction. Not to mention…he shot ice at me. I could have collapsed if I had lived any further…

I sighed in relief of the warm water flowing over me. Reaching behind, I turned up the temperature and tilted my head back to let the hot water run through my hair and down my face.

I couldn't stop thinking about his face when I found him. He looked…terrified. I had thought he was simply mad at me…maybe even jealous. But, I remembered then what he had told me about himself losing control over his magic. He was afraid he was going to hurt me…And he almost did.

"Urghh," I groaned. _Why do I always have to keep fucking everything up?_

…

A month and a half had passed without me seeing him. It was the beginning of winter break and we hadn't had any snow since that sudden storm last November. And the worst part, was I couldn't stop thinking that I'd never see him again.

I lay on my bed in my darkening room staring at the ceiling as had become my habit. I felt awful, worse than I'd ever felt over such a long period of time. I just wanted to close myself off from everyone…didn't really feel the need to socialize anyway.

It'd be easier if I had forgotten about him…maybe if he never visited me again in the first place. But knowing that he was out there and didn't want to visit me hurt. It hurt worse than thinking I had grown too old to see him.

Sighing, I laid my arm over my eyes to block out the remaining light. What was more, I was afraid to face Pippa. I had been avoiding her the last month as well. It helped that we didn't attend the same school anymore, but she still lived across the street. She tried to contact me for two weeks, but then seemed to have given up.

The problem was that I wasn't brave enough to face her. I cared about her, I knew that. But I didn't have the courage to tell her that I had considered the feelings of a phantom before I did hers. _Maybe I am insane after all…_ I thought to myself.

I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep. After all, napping also became my habit lately even though I always woke up feeling more tired than before. I felt so messed up.

However, my nap was interrupted when my door opened and Pippa suddenly walked in. She closed the door behind her and crossed her arms, staring at me intensely.

"Pippa!" I exclaimed as I sat up, suddenly fully awake. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. "Hey…" I trailed off awkwardly. What was I supposed to say to her?

Luckily, she spoke first. "Jamie, what the **hell** is going on with you?" she demanded. Her voice was steady despite the evident anger.

"I…" I faltered, not knowing how to explain. I had been struggling to come up with a viable explanation for my behavior the last month, and failed to produce one. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her…

"Is **this** how you break up with someone?" she accused emphasizing certain words while gesturing with her hand at my gloomy bedroom. "Just ignore them until they give up on you?"

"No! No. I'm sorry…I suddenly had a lot on my mind and didn't know how to talk to you about it…" I admitted quietly while looking down at the rug.

"Well. Try." she ordered as she re-crossed her arms in front of her.

I opened my mouth about to say something, but quickly closed it as I failed to find the right words. My heart started to race and I rubbed the back of my neck in the nervous habit of calming myself down.

"You have feelings for someone else…don't you?" she asked in a low voice. I looked over at her once I heard how sad she sounded. She was looking down at the rug as well, grief tainting her features, drawing her lips down and gathering tears in her eyes.

"…You're my best friend, Pipps. You are…And I love you, honest. It's just-"

"It's Alec, isn't it?" she choked out, looking up at me with glassy eyes.

_Ehhh?!_

"What?!" I gasped as I felt my own jaw drop. How the hell did she come to that conclusion?!

"Don't toy with me, Jamie! I've seen your sketches of him. There are dozens," she exclaimed, raising an arm in the direction of my desk.

So she snooped through my sketchbooks…But what she didn't realize was that those drawings weren't of Alec, but of Jack. And it was only because I could never take an actual photo of him that I had drawn him.

"No…No Pippa, you're…I'm not gay," I argued taking a step towards her and reaching out to grab her arm.

But she jerked away from me and demanded, "Did you or did you not have feelings for him?"

"I…" my voice faltering again. _I did feel something toward him…and only because he resembled Jack. That doesn't mean I'm any less attracted to you,_ I thought; although, the words never left my mind.

However, my hesitation seemed to give her my answer. She sniffed and turned away from me to wipe underneath her eye.

"Pippa, I'm not g-"

"Well, Jamie. If you have feelings for a guy then you're not completely straight either," she interrupted cynically as she wiped her other eye.

I was desperately searching for something to say that would convince her that what we had was genuine. That I wasn't faking the whole time.

"I'm sorry…" my voice broke on the final word. "I've always had feelings for you. There was nothing more I wanted to do than ask you out for **years** …" She looked up at me, but didn't say a word. So I continued, "My junior prom last spring was incredible because of you…and I don't even like dances," I halfheartedly smiled in spite of the situation, but quickly reverted back to seriousness as I admitted, "And I wanted to forget about what happened before... At Saint Peter's. But I couldn't…I couldn't stop thinking about…him. Even though I've never been anything but happy with you."

It was hard for me to get the words out. Hard for me to admit the truth, even though I let her think I was talking about Alec. But it was even harder when she looked in my eyes and I saw a tear slide down her cheek.

My own eyes burned with the guilt and pain of hurting her. She was my best friend…I couldn't bear to lose her.

Feeling the need to comfort her, I attempted to close the distance between us and pull her into a hug. But she pushed me away and took a step back while shaking her head.

"Jamie…I can't. Just…don't touch me. Don't even talk to me," she cried before turning and rushing out of my room.

I stood rooted in place as I heard her go down the stairs and open the front door before it heavily shut behind her.

What had I done?

…

 _I have no idea what I'm doing here…_ I thought as I stood awkwardly in front of the first place my subconscious brought me to. But it was already too late…

I had rang the doorbell and shortly after, Monty opened the door, looking understandably surprised to see me. It was late, and he was already wearing pajama pants, and he was probably wondering why I had showed up out of the blue after hardly talking to him for a month and a half.

The reason I ended up there partly had to do with me needing to get out of my house. After hours of drowning myself in guilt and self-pity, I felt anxious and wanted to disappear before my mom and sister came home from the movies. And… he was the only other person I could think of to talk to.

"Jamie?" he asked reflexively, but after seeing the forlorn expression on my face stepped aside and ushered me in.

"Monty?! Who is it?" I heard his mother call from another corner of the house.

I bent over to take off my shoes as he answered, "It's just Jamie, mom!"

I heard her footsteps as she walked toward the entryway. After the cheery, blonde woman rounded the corner and saw me, she smiled and exclaimed with her hand on her hip, "Oh hi Jamie. Haven't seen you around here for a while. Tell your mom that I have that cheesecake recipe she asked for."

"Uh, sure. Will do," I replied monotonously as I removed my coat and followed Monty up the stairs.

"Keep your door open Montell!" she warned humorously as we reached the second floor.

Monty groaned and called down to her, "Mom, seriously! It's just Jamie!"

She laughed and replied, "Ohh, I have to embarrass you any chance I get! And I've known Jamie long enough to know he can take a joke."

Except that I wasn't sure I could take a joke at the moment…

"But keep the volume down!" she continued, "Your dad and I are going to sleep shortly."

"Mhm," Monty grumbled in an affirmative and led me down the hall to his room.

I always thought Monty's room was cool. Perks of being an only child I guess. It was big, first of all. His walls were painted bright green with black accents and his furniture matched the color scheme as well. He had his own television and various game systems in there with approximately four dozen different video games.

I closed the door behind me and leaned against it as he turned and looked at me curiously, studying my expression. I knew that he could tell something was wrong. I wouldn't have shown up at his house at ten o'clock at night without texting him if I just wanted to hang out.

After a long minute of silence, Monty decided to speak up first, "Is everything ok?" he asked crossing his arms and watching me carefully.

I shrugged my shoulders before muttering, "Pippa and I broke up."

His face relaxed as he replied, "Oh…you sure you wouldn't rather be alone right now?"

I shook my head slowly and stared at the floor. "I've been spending a lot of time by myself and I really needed to just get out of my house."

"Ah…I see. Well…wanna just hang out for a while? Play Mario?" he offered.

I nodded my head and collapsed in one of the bean bag chairs he had placed near the television. It was a tradition of ours to play older video games when we both just wanted to zone out. We've both played the game so many times that it was more reflex than strategy. Monty already knew all the secrets and tricks to it anyway.

We managed to make it through almost half the game without uttering a word. Granted, it only took us about thirty minutes. After the tension had relaxed a little, Monty admitted, "I thought you and her were doing really well."

I made Luigi jump, but missed my target and lost a life, giving Monty his go. "We were," I said as he continued playing through the level, "But she could tell that I had feelings for someone else."

"Mm…" he replied trying to gently tread around the subject. "Anyone I know?"

"No, you don't know him."

Monty glanced over at me as he committed character suicide and Mario plummeted to his death on screen.

"Oh…" he said slowly, finally understanding while leaning back in his bean cushion.

Neither of us spoke for a long time. He must have been waiting for me to speak, but I just stared at my folded hands.

"I'm afraid she hates me…" I finally confessed in remembrance of what she said to me as she left.

"She's just upset. Anyone would be," he reassured me. "You didn't cheat on her, did you?" he asked not accusingly, but objectively.

"No!" I exclaimed looking over at him wondering whether he really thought me to be that kind of person.

"Well, then you did nothing wrong, Jamie. You can't help who you fall in love with," he said casually as if explaining basic multiplication to me. But he softened and reached out to hold my shoulder as he added, "Just give her time. She's your best friend. And…once she stops feeling heartbroken, she'll forgive you."

"You think I broke her heart?" I asked turning my attention from my hands onto his face.

He seemed to want to take back his words at first. But then elaborated, "I mean…yeah. She seemed to really be crazy about you."

I groaned and pulled my knees up to my chest as I buried my face in them. I felt like the most miserable human being on the planet. I wasn't even heartbroken over all this! I just felt guilty…so guilty that I had hurt one of the people I cared most about on Earth. And it happened all because of my wayward infatuation with a fairytale snow sprite that had the emotional stability of a toddler.

"Just leave her alone for a while, Jamie. I promise she'll forgive you eventually," Monty reassured me again.

"How do you know?" I asked, my voice muffled by my legs.

"Because I'm her friend too. And she's that kind of a person," he said causing me to look up at him. He smiled encouragingly at me before biting his cheek and asking hesitantly, "So…how did she find out then?"

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I decided to go with the abridged story that Pippa had assumed. "At my old school I kissed a guy on the wrestling team. And…we flirted with each other for a while after that, but nothing happened." I avoided his gaze and stretched my legs out in front of me as I continued, "Eventually the school found out what happened and unofficially asked me to withdraw while citing that I was in violation of 'school policy' and was 'disrupting the learning environment'."

"You're kidding…" Monty exclaimed, "What about the other guy?"

"He had already graduated by the time the information had reached administration," I explained remembering how Alec was two years older than me. Knowing what Monty would ask next I went on, "And I was already receiving enough shit from various students that I didn't find it worthwhile to stay there."

"Mm…" Monty murmured before leaning back with his hands behind his head and saying, "Well, I guess that explains a lot then."

"Explains what?!" I asked partially offended at what he was implying.

He snickered at my offense and elaborated, "Just why you were so interested in my love life…Not that I've had much of anything to share," he added sourly. "Everyone's either closeted or straight in this tiny town."

"I wouldn't say I was interested in your love life…" I grumbled trying to defend my intentions.

"Eh…you were more than other people. Even Ashley. And I would consider him one of my best friends. But apparently I have to go to Catholic school to get laid…" he said pensively as if entertaining the idea.

"I told you, nothing happened between me and him," I said trying to expunge the idea from his mind.

"But you're still hung up on this guy after all this time?" he asked curiously as he arched an eyebrow at me.

"I mean…" my mind wasn't picturing Alec at that moment, but Jack. And unlike Alec, Jack did come back into my life more recently. "Yeah, I guess," I admitted. "But I like…I was still attracted to Pippa when I was with her."

"You're probably just into both then," Monty said nonchalantly with a wave of his hand. "It's not that weird."

"Yeah...maybe," I replied pessimistically. I wasn't really sure where I was oriented. I generally found girls attractive. It was only ever Alec and Jack that I felt a strong attraction to, despite them being the same gender. _I mean…I don't know. I've had sex with Pippa and loved it,_ I thought as I pushed back the pain of remembering how I had hurt her and continued my thought process, _I mean…maybe if it actually came down to it, I wouldn't even want to do it with a guy. But…I liked kissing him. That's a sign, isn't it?_

Monty jerked me out of my thoughts as he sighed. "Well…feel better now, grasshopper?" he asked adopting the attitude of a mentor.

"Shut the fuck up," I grinned and flung an empty game box at him.

He laughed and put the controllers back before standing up and pulling blankets out of his closet.

"What are you doing?" I asked him curiously as he arranged them on one side of his bed.

"You can have my bed," he said spreading them out on the floor, "I'll take the floor tonight."

"No, no, Monty," I protested not wanting to feel any guiltier than I already was, "I can sleep anywhere. I'll take the floor.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's not a big deal," I insisted.

"Alright," he said as he straightened up. "Or…you know…you can share the bed with me," he said in a faux attempt at being seductive as he made motions as if pretending to strip for me.

"Take your pants off and I will set you on fire," I threatened semi-seriously as I moved next to him and arranged the blankets he brought out.

"Mm…kinky," he said winking at me.

I rolled my eyes and settled myself down on the floor. Pulling the covers over me I turned on my side and closed my eyes. I wasn't even tired, but I didn't feel like talking anymore, even though talking to Monty helped more than anything else had this past month.

I consciously tried to empty my mind of all guilt and grief in an attempt at slowly falling asleep…

…

…

 **~F~**  
There I was, inconspicuously frosting a meadow to the rhythmic classic of Habanera playing in my head completely minding my own business when, lo and behold, the king of kangaroos himself launches out of the earth.

I leaped six feet backwards, naturally afraid of him trying to capture me as he often does like this. Quickly scanning the grey and white rabbit, I searched for weapons or nets, but found none. If he didn't come here to capture me, why did he take the time to pinpoint where I was?

"What do you want, Cottonbutt?" I asked suspiciously. "It's January. What did I possibly do this time?"

"Aye. I'm just tha messenga, mate. Sandy was lookin' for ya," he said shaking the dirt off himself and shooting a glare across the clearing at me.

"Sandy?" I asked confused. As much I liked the eldest Guardian, he rarely needed to talk to me. Let alone ask another Guardian to take the time to find me. Most of my contact was with Sir Hoppsalot here or North, merely because Aster was the spirit of spring and North's holiday occurred primarily in my domain.

"I'd get goin' if I were ya, Snowflake. It seemed important," he said after adopting a wide stance, which I wasn't sure he did to be intimidating or if he was just weird. Then again, he was a deformed creature.

"Where is he?" I asked knowing Sandy moved around a lot.

"Back at his sandcastle. Should still be there if ya take my tunnel," he said nagging me to hurry up and nodding his head toward his gross hole in the ground.

I made a face since I hated travelling through his dirt. But Sandy made his home on a tropical island and, even though I could make it there, I'd be hard-pressed to fly off.

"Alright," I sighed and allowed him to lead me to it. I leaned over the dark abyss and felt anxiety creep up my neck.

"What are ya waitin' for?" he asked and I could just feel the condescension in his voice, which was always infuriating.

Not wanting to seem like a coward, I jumped into the hole and plummeted through the depths of the Earth. I yelled at first, but the sound died down once the panic set it. It's not that I was scared of the dark, more like claustrophobic from being a dozen miles under the Earth's crust.

Through the magic that is Bunny's, I somehow fell upwards until I was spit out of the hole and reoriented myself with gravity as I fell face first into a floor of sand.

The first thing I noticed wasn't the sounds of the ocean or the brightness of the sun. It was how flippin' hot it was.

My whole body felt like it was on fire the minute I touched the sand. The worst part was I had to suffer through it. I couldn't sweat. The most I had to do was sheath my skin in a layer of ice that I had to constantly renew as it melted. But, I hoped his castle was at least comfortable on the inside…

I quickly ran up to Sandy's "house", normal people would call it a mansion or a castle. However, it was not built like normal infrastructures. The walls were constructed from Sandy's dreamsand itself, which had hardened over the millions of years he had resided here, creating a brilliant sandstone that shone brighter than gold, even at night.

"Sandy?" I called timidly as I opened the heavy wooden door and let myself in. A rush of significantly cooler air hit me and I rushed in to close the door. It shut with a loud thud that echoed against the walls of the castle. I walked inside and gazed around. The walls almost seemed…alive.

As I treaded down the corridor, I saw images move across the walls out of the corners of my eyes. But the moment I looked directly at them, they disappeared. This surreality was almost hypnotizing and nearly made me forget the reason I came here.

"Sandy!" I called again, figuring he was asleep. However, after the second call, I heard his trademark dinging before seeing him soar around the corner.

His face lit up when he saw me and he ran forward to shake my hand energetically as his ringing echoed his excitement.

Struggling to hold back a laugh I said, "I'm glad to see you again too, Sandy. But why did you call me here all of a sudden?"

He shook his hands in front of him and images appeared above his head in rapid succession that communicated his apology and then moved on to him showing heavy concern.

"Why? What's going on?" I asked, my eyebrows knitting together. It was unlike Sandy to be worried. He was the most peaceful being I had ever come across.

Beckoning toward me, he gathered a sand cloud and soared off down the passageway. Not knowing any other way to keep up with him, I created an ice wave and surfed through his castle in an attempt at staying on his tail.

He wound me through six corridors and up two staircases before we arrived at his destination. Landing with a soft plop in front of an innately carved sandstone door, he opened it and ushered me inside.

What I found within, I can say I did not expect. Books lined the walls on shelves that were naturally built out of the same sandstone as the rest of the building. The books were peculiar…of all shapes and sizes and many with pages that predominately showed their age and importance. But in the middle of the room stood a twin globe, similar to the one North kept in his atrium. Except the continents glittered completely in Sandy's golden sand.

I looked at him still confused about my purpose and he waved me closer to the massive orb. Pushing its axis, he rotated the sphere until North America was exposed and I instantly knew why he called me there. Thin veins of black sand infiltrated the Midwest that had previously been colored gold.

"Pitch?" I asked concerned as I looked back down at the ancient man.

Sandy frowned and nodded, but then continued to show more images above his head to me in a rapid sequence that made my heart stop.

"Jamie's been having nightmares?!"

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **:O Double egads!**
> 
> **Come on now! You took 5 minutes reading this chapter, you can take a few more and leave a comment ;D**


	9. Shadows In The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So, again. I apologize for deleting this story.**
> 
> **I realized that after reposting it, I forgot a chapter. I just added it and it's called "Forgetting to Remember".**
> 
> **If you just started reading, I suggest going back to that real quick. It'll be brought up again later.**
> 
> **Anyway, enjoy!**

Shadows in the Dark

**~F~**  
Heh… I sighed heavily as I lay limply on the tree limb above Jamie's window. Swinging my foot lazily underneath me and gazing through the branches up at the stars, I lay in wait for something to happen. My concern for Jamie having nightmares strongly overcame my apprehension toward windows. Although…I'll admit that I waited long enough to make sure he was actually asleep before checking up on him.

My only companion these last few nights was a chubby little brown squirrel, who would wake up periodically to sniff near where I lay and make laughably threatening chirps at the weird presence it felt on his turf. I never totally understood how something with a brain the size of a peanut could more easily sense my existence than the species from which I extend from.

"You know, Chuckles…" I mused thoughtfully to the little guy as I bounced my foot absentmindedly, "You ever wonder how the people who drive the snowplows get to work in the morning?"

I glanced up at him over my head and his nose twitched anxiously before he retreated back into his nest.

"Yeah…me neither," I said despairingly after losing my only distraction. It was late and the neighborhood streets were empty. I had been watching Jamie's room for several nights to make sure that nothing suspicious was going on. And so far…nada.

He slept.

Like a stone.

Nothing more of interest.

I couldn't even tell what kind of dream he was having, since Sandy didn't visit him anymore. So it made me doubt whether the kid was even on Pitch's radar. Pitch preferred children's dreams, which always seemed extremely perverse to me, but I didn't really have an interest in understanding his motivations.

Well, anyway. If Chuckles was going to give me the cold shoulder, I at least had Manny these last couple nights. Manny was never one for idle chit-chat. In fact, the only time I heard his voice was when I had first awoken in the pond. Since then, he had been a silent observer. I doubted he even paid attention most of the time.

But I appreciated his light. It wasn't as strong as during a full moon, but it still cast a gentle glow on the sleeping streets of Burgess as if protecting its inhabitants while they slept. It shone against the sides of Jamie's house and the windows, illuminating the redness of the brick and the green of the pine bushes lining the sides of the house.

Except…

Like lightening, I sat straight up and narrowed my eyes at Jamie's window. Something was…off. Chuckles rustled in his nest on the branch above me before crawling around the trunk of the tree and chirping defensively.

Following the instincts of the squirrel, I hopped off the branch and clung to the brick by Jamie's window using my fingertips and toes. His room looked…dark. Darker than before.

Squinting, I could just barely make out Jamie's form on his bed. He was lying on his side and sleeping soundly like he had previously been. Blankets covered only half his body as he often kicked them away in his sleep, and his head rested upon one of his arms. Whew…false alarm. My body relaxed and I pushed off the wall in order to lounge upon my designated branch again.

I'm just getting paranoid, I chastised myself. I closed my eyes and smiled as I rested my head against the tree trunk. _This is what happens when I'm bored…My imagination takes over._

But the squirrel's angry chirping brought me back to attention and I opened one eye. "Go back to sleep, Chuckles," I barked, annoyed with his endless chattering.

Except he wasn't chattering at me like he had always been…

I glanced back at the window, that suspicious feeling having returned again. I couldn't place why I felt it…The only oddity was the stupid squirrel. What-

My eyes flickered to the bathroom window and I stood up to better see. From outside, one could only see the opposing wall. But the greenness and small painting that hung there were still visible with the soft moonlight that shone through.

I quickly looked back at Jamie's window and then up at the moon and then back to his window. Moonlight…

**Jamie's room doesn't have any moonlight! It isn't getting in!**

As if confirming my fear, Jamie's muffled yell broke past the window's barrier and pierced my eardrums.

No…

I sprung off the branch and clung to the side of the wall only to see what I had feared would happen. Jamie lay flat and was thrashing against an invisible force that had pinned his wrists and ankles to the mattress. His face was pulled back in a strained grimace and his chest quickly rose and fell as he violently struggled against his nightmare.

"Jamie!" I yelled and grabbed at the window in a frantic attempt at prying it open, but it had been locked. I knocked furiously at the glass, trying to wake him, but he couldn't hear me. A desperate cry broke from him and I realized…I couldn't reach him…

Quickly summoning my wind, I soared over the roof and twisted until I could latch onto the wall on the opposing side of the building. Through the window, I saw Sophie sleeping peacefully and completely oblivious to commotion in the next room.

I rammed my fist against her window and shouted her name as loud as I could. Startled, she lifted her head up and her eyes dazedly focused on me hanging outside her window. Her face brightened and she pushed the covers off herself before trotting over to unlock the window.

As she approached, her smile faded when she realized something was wrong.

"Jack? What's going on-" she asked as she opened the window and I swung inside.

Ignoring her question, I soared across her room and turned down the hall before bursting into her brother's.

Still in the midst of his nightmare, Jamie took no notice of me and continued to fight against his mind's demons. I jumped onto his bed and grabbed his shoulders before trying to shake him out of it.

It only took two seconds before he woke with a start, sitting up like rocket and gasping for air as if he had been drowning. Panting heavily, I noticed sweat had since coated his skin and his complexion had paled considerably.

"Jamie…" I murmured, but the minute I spoke, his eyes darted to me and grew wide as he started to hyperventilate. "Hey, hey. Jamie…it's me," I said calmly as I reached out a hand to gently hold the side of his head, "It's just me…"

Those eyes…the way he was staring at me was as if he didn't know who I was. I felt my chest tighten and the air drastically chill around us. But then…he slowly raised a hand in front of my face and brought it close. I remained frozen, my jaw clenched and afraid to move as I instinctively feared that his hand would pass through me. As he closed the gap between his hand and me, I flinched expectantly, but then felt his fingertips lightly brush against my bangs.

Moving his fingers away, he inhaled deeply before pulling his knees up to his chest and hiding his face in them. I crouched there, unmoving and unable to speak. However, I was relieved to hear his breathing slow as he took steady breaths against his knees.

"Jamie?" a concerned voice asked from alongside the bed. I looked over in surprise to see Sophie standing there. I had been so distracted, I hadn't even heard her come in. "Jamie, did you have a nightmare?" she asked tentatively.

He took another deep breath before raising his head and saying, "No…no. I'm fine." He stood up slowly and put a hand on her shoulder before guiding her out, "Let's get you back to bed, alright?"

"Are you sure?" she asked as they left the room.

I lost track of their conversation as I lost myself in my own thoughts. Did Jamie…almost forget about me?

That thought had me paralyzed. I didn't even realize that time had traversed until I heard Jamie close the door to his room.

I looked up at him, still crouched on his bed, as he remained near his door watching me with a blank expression.

"What are you doing here?" he asked finally breaking the silence.

_Good, he knows who I am. But…he sounds mad…_

"Sandy told me you were having nightmares," I answered as I hopped off his bed and stood up.

He crossed his arms in front of him and stared me down for what seemed like the longest 30 seconds of my life. "So…he sent you to watch me?" he asked, the suspicion evident in his voice.

"No! I…wanted to make sure you were safe," I admitted avoiding his glare by looking off to the side. _He is mad…_

"You know, you keep saying stuff like that, Jack. But it's getting harder and harder to believe you," he responded sharply.

"Why?" I asked a little hurt that he would doubt my intentions.

And to make matters worse, his expression changed from staring at me blankly to looking at me as if I were a complete idiot. "What do you mean ' **why** '?" he asked dumbfounded. "You…never mind," he grumbled as he walked alongside his bed and pulled back the covers, "I just need to stop pretending I understand you." And with that he yanked the covers over himself and dropped his head haughtily on the pillow and turned sharply so his back was to me.

_He's…oh…_ I thought as the memory suddenly came back to me and I remembered what I did to make him mad. The temperature dropped a little in his room as that day fully penetrated my mind. I had locked it safely away so I didn't dwell on it.

"I told you," I said quietly as I gripped both hands around my staff, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Well then **why** did you pull a disappearing act again these last three months?" he asked angrily while sitting up to glare into me again.

"Because…I hurt you. I lost control in front of you and I couldn't bring myself to face you after that…"

I couldn't even bring myself to look at him for several minutes. He didn't say a word, which…I would understand if he ignored me to get back at me. It was only fair… But then I heard him rustling in his closet and I looked up to see him pulling on a pair of jeans.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Let's go for a walk," he said, his voice much calmer than before. He zipped up a hoodie and grabbed his coat and scarf before adding, "The fresh air will help clear my head and, besides, I know how much you don't like being inside for too long."

_Huh?_

"Jamie…what-?"

But he held up a hand to quiet me before saying, "I'll meet you out front," and then he exited out his bedroom door and I heard him quietly descend the stairs so as to not wake anyone up.

Ok…

Quiet as a shadow, I grabbed my staff, unlocked his bedroom window, and hopped out of his room. Then as if to double check, I jumped up to the branch I was lying on and scoped the inside of his room. The moonlight cast a gentle aura of light on the hardwood floor, pushing away the darkness that had previously claimed the boy's room. Everything seemed to be back to normal.

My ears perked up when I heard the front door very quietly open and shut, cuing me to jump down from my height and land lightly behind him. He turned to quietly sneak away from his house, but accidentally let out a yelp when he bumped into me.

"Gah! ...Jesus you need to make at least **some** noise," he said wryly as he shoved me lightly aside and made his way down his front walk.

"Sorry…" I said, embarrassed that I had scared him completely unintentionally again.

I followed him down the street…at the painfully slow pace he went. Granted, I was used to zipping around at the speed of wind. Walking was just so BORING.

But at the same time, it felt nice knowing that he wasn't ignoring me anymore.

"So…" he said once we reached the park and were out of earshot of the sleeping neighborhood, "What did I do that made you lose control like that?"

I sighed exasperated as I tried to explain again, "I told you, Jamie. You didn't do anything."

"Hm…" was his only response at first. Then as we traversed the field leading up to the forest, he said, "You know…Every time I think I understand you a little better, you do something that confuses the hell out of me."

My eyebrows cinched together and I looked up at him unsure of what he expected out of me.

"Welcome to the first 200 years of my life," I replied mordantly, spinning my staff in one hand before landing it to rest against my shoulder.

He snorted in humor to what I said, but quickly fell silent again and looked straight ahead at the path. The forest was dark, but the moon still managed to weave its light through the branches to guide us along the way. There wasn't much snow on the ground, which was helpful in staying true to the trail.

After we walked further, I glanced nervously up at him. He looked…calm. Whatever anger he felt toward me had melted away, which in turn made me relieved. I missed being in his company… He beat the pants off Chuckles any day.

Which also made me feel obligated to him. To compensate for the confusion and anger I had left him with.

"You…remember when I said I wasn't always happy?" I asked in a low tone.

He glanced sideways at me as we walked and waited a moment before silently nodding his head.

Picking a point straight in front of us to stare at, I continued explaining, "Well… I didn't really tell you the half of it." I felt my heart start to pound and the magic build up as I brought myself back to those memories, but I gripped my staff tightly and carried on, "When I woke up as Jack Frost…I didn't know anything about myself other than my name. I had no one and no memories to work with… And…after I realized that…I was scared. Really scared."

He didn't say anything, but continued walking with his hands buried in his pockets. Avoiding his eyes, I kept going, "I instinctively traveled to the nearest village, which I didn't know used to be my own, and tried to find people. Ask them questions. Find out where I was. But…they ignored me. Walked through me. Didn't even know I was there and…it hurt."

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself before admitting the next part. I never wanted to tell him about it, but since I had started talking, I found it really difficult to stop.

"Eventually the solitude got to me. I blamed people. I didn't know why they were ignoring me or why they could easily walk through me as if I were merely dust. So…I tried to force them to see me…

It started off as annoying pranks, but it escalated once I realized that had no effect. Although the thing I couldn't stand most of all, the thing that angered me beyond reason, was seeing people in love. I hated it. I hated it so much even though I didn't understand why. And I was so volatile at the time that I unintentionally conjured storms that wreaked devastation for miles. I ruined crops, snowed people into their homes, and…a lot of people starved because of me. A lot of people died because of me…"

That did it. I reached up to press my thumb and fingers against my eyes to stop the tears that were starting to burn my eyes. I promised myself a long time ago that I couldn't keep getting upset over it. What's done is done. The most I could do was prevent it from happening again. I took a deep breath in an attempt at calming myself.

Thankfully Jamie distracted me. "I'm sorry…" he apologized even though everything clearly didn't concern him. "Did I…make you mad?" he asked hesitantly.

"No…" I said while shaking my head. "You just caught me off-guard…I wasn't expecting to see you like that. You were just a trigger."

"Trigger?" he asked confused.

"Mhm…I couldn't help what happened three months ago. It's like…when someone is claustrophobic and they're put in a small space, their body reacts uncontrollably. The fear overwhelms them. That's what it's like for me. It triggered my magic and I grew scared. So I ran to try and calm myself down."

It was at that point that we reached the clearing wherein my pond lay. We both stopped at the edge of the woods and something clicked together for Jamie, as he added, "That's why you meditate."

"Yeah."

"And I interrupted it."

"…Yeah," I admitted honestly.

Once again, silence descended upon both of us as neither of us knew what to say. Even though I wasn't afraid of losing control, I still walked over and stepped onto my pond. A sense of calm immediately soaked into me and I exhaled slowly, relishing in the peace it gave me.

"This place calms you down," Jamie remarked and I looked over to see him standing at the edge of it.

I smiled and nodded at him before sliding back over to stand in front of him. It was then that I noticed him watching me with a very calculating look.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

I rolled my eyes and said for the umpteenth time, "I told you Jamie. You didn't do anything wrong.

"But I still hurt you," he said in barely more than a whisper.

I pursed my lips and didn't say anything. Mostly because I knew he was right. It did hurt to see him like that…But before I could think much more about it, he slowly reached up and brushed his fingers against my hair like he had before.

"Your hair wasn't always white, was it?" he asked more as a statement than a question.

A corner of my mouth pulled up in a half-smile as I shook my head, confirming his answer.

He smiled a little and then focused his attention on my eyes. He stared at me so long that I got uncomfortable and broke eye contact with him. Coughing a little, I looked back up at him and saw that his face had grown serious.

"Jack…how old were you when you fell in the pond? ...When you became Jack Frost?" he asked both curiously and sadly.

"Eighteen," I answered while mentally steering myself away from the memory. But his snort broke my concentration. "What?" I asked bringing my eyebrows together.

"Really?" he asked looking at me in disbelief. "You look so much younger-"

"Hey!" I exclaimed growing angry. "I didn't live in the lap of luxury with food on every corner like you do!" I crossed my arms haughtily and looked off to the side. "We went through a couple hard winters…stunted my growth," I grumbled.

His laughter broke the tension and I glanced back to see him holding his stomach while trying to regain composure. "I'm sorry…" he chuckled, "I didn't mean to imply anything. I was just surprised to know you were the same age as I am now."

"I'm still older than you…" I muttered under my breath.

"Well I'm stronger than you," he countered, his smile morphing into a brazen grin.

"Watch it, kid. You haven't even seen half of what I can do," I replied confidently while spinning my staff around. He rolled his eyes at me and put his hands back in his pockets. Resting my staff back on the ground, I asked, "How come you're the one that manages to brighten my mood so easily?"

He shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I don't like to see you sad."

I let out air in a silent laugh at his simple answer before shyly looking off to the side and repeating, "Well, I don't like to see you sad either. And…I was really worried about you tonight," I added honestly.

"You were worried that Pitch was giving me nightmares," he expanded and I nodded my head in response. So he added, "Well, he's not. It was just…me. I've had a lot on my mind since you left and it's been interrupting my sleep."

I stared at him intently as I didn't really believe him. He wasn't having just an ordinary nightmare…

"What were you dreaming about?" I asked him slowly while staring directly into his eyes.

He smiled a little and his eyes softened. "I dreamt that I had lost you," he admitted.

It took me a moment to realize that I was staring at him with possibly the most dumbstruck expression on my face. I was shocked that he cared so much about me…

And before I realized it, I felt him gently place his hands on my face before leaning down to press his lips against mine. I stood frozen as I didn't know what was happening at first.

Then I swung my stick and wacked him upside the head.

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN KEEP DOING THAT?" I unleashed the minute he pulled away from me. "You have to ASK people before you can-"

I stopped once I discovered he was laughing softly while rubbing the sore spot on his head. "I'm sorry," he apologized, "I couldn't really help myself."

I begrudgingly crossed my arms and felt a vein twitch in my forehead as I glared at him.

After noticing my expression, he continued in a low voice, "It's just…after you left…I figured out that I couldn't keep my promise to you. I didn't want to be normal…I couldn't be normal because I realized I was in love with you.

The face I made then was probably very akin to an anvil dropping on one's foot.

_He just flagrantly admits these things aloud?!_

"And, honestly," he continued either unaware or ignoring my distress, "I'm not asking you for anything…I just don't want to forget about you…It's the thing I fear most."

My body relaxed after hearing that last part and I looked up at him surprised. His eyes were kind and revealed the honesty behind everything he said. _So he's telling the truth after all…_ Suddenly I felt my pride start to melt away. _This kid… ... ...is insane,_ I concluded to myself. _I just told him the worst possible part of my character and his only concern is my well-being?! Whether he had hurt me and whether he can still see me…_ I sighed and reiterated stubbornly, "I only said that you should've asked first."

He grinned at me and I felt an arm wrap around my back as he pulled me against him. My whole body tensed up as I suddenly felt vulnerable from never having been this close to anyone before. But he laid his forehead against mine and I felt his warm breath ghost across my mouth as he asked, "So it's ok then?"

I looked into his eyes and nodded slightly. Then he closed his lids and I felt him tilt his head before gently enveloping my lips with his. He was…warm. I closed my own eyes and submitted myself to it. Heat had only ever made me uncomfortable, but this was different. It was…pleasant. And I didn't want it to end.

After several moments, he pulled away and I looked up to see him smiling at me.

"What?" I asked suspicious of what I did to make him look at me like that.

He simply shook his head before leaning down to gently kiss my cheek. "Nothing," he said, "you're just…I should probably get home." And he turned to head back down the path.

…

...

**~B~**  
"I'm just what?" Jack asked gliding to catch up and landing alongside me. I knew his curiously wouldn't easily secede.

"I dunno," I said dismissively. I couldn't tell him without offending him again… "I guess I'm having trouble finding the right words," I said fairly honestly. I couldn't tell him that after kissing me, his normally pale cheeks had an apparent blush that was visible even in the light of the moon. He was just so cute that was having difficulty holding myself back.

In fact, it was incredibly hard to hold back. But I promised myself not to push it. I sensed how simply being that close to me was uncomfortable for him. Although…he didn't object to me kissing him the second time. He even kissed me back…

I felt like I was on cloud nine. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect that to happen. I confessed to him only because he had been so honest with me that I didn't have the heart to hide it anymore. Although…part of me knew he cared about me. Even if he never actually admitted it aloud. He had never reacted to me with disgust, merely surprise. And he had kissed me last year, even if it was only to make me stop ignoring him.

We had been walking in silence for so long that we were almost out of the woods. My eyes were having trouble seeing as the trees were blocking out the moon's light, but I knew these woods practically by heart and I could see the opening up ahead as we neared the field.

Suddenly, Jack shot an arm out in front of me that made me stop in my tracks.

"Jack?" I asked looking over at him confused. Except he didn't seem to hear me. Despite the darkness, his expression was intense as if listening for something. Seeing his tension, I started to feel adrenaline build up as well.

A twig snapped behind us and we both whirled around to look what was going on. I thought that I was overreacting, but Jack had since gripped his staff and intense cold was emanating from him.

"Run," he whispered so quietly that I could barely hear him.

"What?" I asked completely in the dark to what was happening.

"Nightmares. They're following you," he whispered as he took a careful step backwards.

I slowly followed him trying to keep my steps as light as his, but it was impossible on account of me weighing fifteen times more than him. "What the big deal?" I whispered, "They can't hurt me-"

"Oh, they can hurt you now kiddo," he replied and I felt the cold penetrate right through to my bones as the fear took over. Why now?

"Run," he ordered again.

"But-" a stick snapped under my foot and I looked up to see six pairs of ruby eyes shining from the darkness.

"GO!" he yelled pushing against my chest. I heard the unnatural sound of hooves pound through the forest as the black horses cantered toward us.

Turning in fear, I ran up the path as fast as my legs would carry me. If I could just reach the field…

Wind poured through the trees and I looked over to see Jack leap into the air before changing course to fly straight toward the eyes.

I skidded to a halt and called out his name. _He can't be thinking to fight all of them?_ But I only heard his voice yell back at me from somewhere in the darkness. "JAMIE GO!"

Helplessly following orders I turned and ran up the trail, the faint light growing stronger with every passing second. My breath was running ragged, but the adrenaline kept me going faster than I've ever gone in my life. I could hear them charging behind me and could almost feel their hot breath on my neck.

Finally I burst out of the woods and took off downhill. _Horses can't run as fast downhill right?_

As I neared the bottom of the hill, I turned my head to see four of the massive creatures burst from the trees and charge toward me, not caring about gravity since they weren't real horses. _I'm such an idiot…_

Without paying attention, my foot caught in a hole and I tumbled forward with a yell. I curled my body and crashed into the ground before rolling uncontrollably down the hill. Landing at the bottom, I struggled to stop my velocity and stand up, but the fall made me unbearably dizzy.

Stumbling, I fell to the ground and struggled to crawl away from the monsters as fast as I could in spite of the earth spinning underneath me.

Then, a flash of white appeared and swiftly glided in a wide circle around me and I finally registered that it was Jack. _He's fast!_

"Jamie, get down!" he yelled before landing in front of me, placing himself between me and the colossal Nightmares. He slammed his hands into the ground and, suddenly, the circle he had traced around us grew into a large dome of ice, creating a solid barrier of protection.

I panted exhausted, but my vertigo had finally subsided. Jack remained crouched in front of me, tense and ready.

"Jack, what-"

"Jamie! Don't move from that spot until I tell you. Once I do, run back to your house as fast as you can, alright?" he demanded in the most severe tone I had ever heard him use.

"Okay…" I said afraid of what was going to happen.

A heavy bang crashed into my ears as the horses collided with the dome, causing the ice to shudder. I looked up, afraid the ceiling would cave in, and then I looked back to Jack. His position hadn't changed and he remained still, waiting.

My heart leaped into my throat when the next three horses joined their companion and they all kicked and battered at the barrier.

"Don't touch the ice…" he warned me as I frantically watched the horses start to crack through our shield.

"NOW!" he shouted as a bolt of energy shot out of his staff and flew behind me. An explosion forced me to turn around and I saw a hole break through from where he had aimed. In that same moment I glanced back to see him press his hands against the front wall of the ice and blue-white electricity surge across the dome and into the Nightmares.

_Now is my chance…_

Taking off in a crouched run, I escaped through the hole and sped off across the field, the screams of the Nightmares fading in my wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WILL Jamie make it back alright?**
> 
> **IS Jack going to defeat the Nightmares?**
> 
> **Tune in next week for another exciting episode of-**
> 
> **just kidding. But thanks to those who left me comments and kudos for reposting this!**
> 
> **I hope everyone who was reading finds it again soon...**
> 
> **But come on! You took 5 minutes reading this chapter, you can spare a few more to leave a comment ;D**


	10. His Promise

His Promise

**~B~**  
My lungs burning from the exertion, I released the heaviest sigh of relief once I burst into my house and collapsed against the front door behind me.

"James. Ryan. Bennett," the virulent voice of my mother greeted me, making my heart stop, "Where the **hell** were you?!" she demanded as she stood up from the kitchen table and walked over to the door. Her eyes practically had flames in them as she glared at me and I almost rethought my decision to come inside.

"I-I-I'm sorry!" I stuttered out, my voice still trembling from the adrenaline-induced fear of a few minutes ago to this newfound threat of my mother's wrath.

"Do you even **understand** how **terrifying** it is for me to wake up and see your bed _empty_?! Not knowing where in God's name you are and no way for me to reach you?!" she shrieked at me, putting her hands on my shoulders and shaking me with every emphasized word.

I gawked at her in shock and the words tumbled out of my mouth in frantic explanation, "I-I-I know! That's not what I meant to do I just went out for a walk I swear I-"

"I don't even want to hear it right now James," she said angrily, releasing her grip on me, "Just get up to your room," she sighed heavily as she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. I really did it this time…

Knowing nothing I could say would save me, I shut my mouth and made my way upstairs. I had worried her so much that she was too exhausted and stressed to talk to me. At least it gave me enough time to settle my own nerves before trying to explain what happened…

As quietly as I could so as not to wake up Sophie, I climbed the stairs and shut the door to my bedroom.

Jack…

The encounter with my mother made me forget that he wasn't behind me when I got here. What if he…

In three strides, I traversed my room and threw open my bedroom window. "Jaack!" I whispered as loud as I could as I looked up and down the street and in the tree across from my window.

A voice directly above me then responded, "Miss me?"

"AH" I jumped foot backwards and clasped a hand over my mouth to muffle my shout. "What the _hell_ is wrong with you?!" I whispered angrily at him as he floated through the window.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he chuckled lightly while leaning his staff against the wall.

Then the questions poured out. "Jack, what's going on? What did they want? And why me? Why can they hurt me? What-"

"Jamie, Jamie, relaax," Jack said grabbing my shoulders and shaking me just like my mother had as if everyone on Earth was trying to tell me I was overreacting.

"How can I relax?!" I whispered angrily at him. "Those things nearly **killed** me?!"

"No, no, they weren't going to kill you," he dismissed nonchalantly with a wave of his hand.

_Whuh-_

"What are you talking about? You saw how they were-"

"I wouldn't have let them touch you," he said smugly as he put a hand on his hip.

I normally found his cocky attitude endearing, but now it made me want to punch him.

"Jack!" I whisper-yelled angrily, "What are you…." I trailed off when I noticed something strange on his face. "What's that?" I asked pointing at his forehead. I didn't turn my light on so as not to attract my mother, but it looked like an odd shadow was drawn across his forehead.

"Hm?" he asked, turning his eyes up as if to look at his own forehead. Then realizing the uselessness of that tactic, he glided over to my mirror to take a look at himself. "Huh, little buggers actually got me," he said more curious than anything else as he touched his hand to his forehead.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, forgetting about my mother and switching the lamp on my desk on. Turning back to look at his reflection in the mirror, I saw a gash of silver drawn over his brow and drooling down his temple. "What is that?" I asked.

"It's..uh…" he turned around to face me as he looked at the metallic substance on his fingers, "Well it's not blood, but it's equivalent…I guess…" he said holding his two fingers up to show me.

It was strange indeed. It looked like molten metal more than blood.

"You don't know what it is?" I asked dumbfounded as to how little he actually knew about himself.

"No…not really," he said inspecting his fingers once again, "I've only ever seen it once before…It's really hard for me to injure myself," he said smirking up at me as if proud of that fact.

"Well…" I said uncertainly as I wasn't sure how to respond to that, "here, hang on." I walked over to my door to pull off my bath towel and walked over to hand it to him. He looked at it as if surprised, but hesitantly took it and dabbed at his forehead.

"I'll be fine," he said handing it back to me, "It's just a scratch." And with that, he touched his fingers to his lips, a breath of ice touching them, before holding them up to his forehead, stitching the wound together as he had done to mine before. "There," he said giving me a half-smile.

I smiled back at him before turning my attention to the towel in my hands. Very gingerly, I raised a hand and touched a finger to the mercury-like substance. It didn't feel wet…instead it felt cool…and it made my fingertip tingle as though I had touched static electricity.

"Maybe it's your magic?" I suggested glancing back up at him.

He shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Maybe. I've never really thought about it before."

Hanging the towel back up on the door, I walked over to my bed and sat down. "Jack…" I said more calmly folding my hands in my lap, "Please tell me what's going on." I looked back up at him and he hesitated, from what I wasn't sure. Was he not telling me something?

Then to both of our surprises, a surge of gold appeared outside my window. I barely had time to look up at it before it burst through the opening and a little golden man skidded to a halt on my floor.

"Sandy!" Jack called in excitement.

The little man saluted him and looked at me briefly before turning his attention back to Jack. Suddenly a rampage of sand-constructed symbols appeared above his head faster than my brain could even process them, I looked back at Jack in search for answers, but he was watching Sandy intently, his fingers rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Yeah, they were after him," he responded suddenly. "But they were different than before. I could feel what they were-" he broke off and glanced up at me.

"What?" I asked standing up anxiously, desperate for him to continue. I felt so at a loss for answers that I felt like my world was about to fall apart.

I looked down at the Sandman, and he stared at me for a moment. Then with a nonchalant whish of his hand, a plume of sand flew out and hit me in the face.

…

…

**~F~**  
Like a boulder, Jamie collapsed backwards, thankfully most of his body landing on the bed.

"Sandy!" I yelled at the altitudely-challenged man as I jumped up on the mattress, grabbing Jamie under the arms to pull him completely on the bed. However, I forgot that he weighed a gazillion pounds.

"Sandy…" I grunted as heaved and tugged, "You couldn't have given him some warning first…?"

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled apologetically and, thankfully, used his sand to lift the boy onto the mattress.

"Gah…" I sighed falling and sitting at the end of the bed. "Alright," I said looking at him seriously and continued the conversation, "I knew they were after Jamie because…I could feel their thoughts," I said knowing what I said made no sense whatsoever, but I continued, "I just felt their hunger. They wanted him and their intent was so clear that I knew right away something was wrong."

Sandy stared at me for a long minute and then started unleashing his silent explanation.

"But why do they want Jamie?" I asked looking back to the sleeping boy as Sandy's dreamsand floated above his head.

Sandy sighed and continued signing to me. Although, none of it was what I wanted to hear.

"But…we **can't**! I won't let that happen!" I protested angrily.

Sandy looked at me sadly and tried explaining the situation to me more thoroughly.

"NO!" I yelled at him growing livid, ice starting to freeze the carpet underneath me, "I would NEVER let that happen to him! Isn't there **anything** else?"

He suggested we take him to the North Pole to keep him safe.

"No…that won't work," I said obstinately. "He has a family and school and….a _life_ here. He can't just go missing for months on end…" I drummed my fingers against my temple as I ran through as many solutions as I could think of in an attempt to calm down

"You said that they can't find him easily as long as he is asleep under your dreamsand?" I asked, to which Sandy nodded in confirmation. "Then I'll watch him," I stated firmly. There was no way I was going to let Jamie fall prey to those demons.

Sandy watched me skeptically, which infuriated me. "I would **never** let **anything** happen to him!" I cried trying to convince him, to which he responded by signing about the last time they left me real responsibility that nearly led to disaster of the Guardians during Pitch's attack. "That won't happen again!" I yelled angrily swiping my arm through the air, unleashing a trail of ice crystals. "This is different! You know better than anyone else that I will protect him!"

Sandy crossed his arms and glanced from Jamie back to me. Then he gave me a half-smile, signaling his agreement.

"Good," I replied haughtily as I crossed my arms as well. I knew that I had messed up plenty of times before, but after becoming a Guardian, my sense of responsibility changed. They all knew that. And it enraged me whenever they brought up one of my former failures.

Sandy asked me for a bag to store his dreamsand in, and I searched around the room before uncovering a folded pillowcase in the closet. Bringing it to Sandy, he filled it for me and reminded me that I still needed to keep up my efforts during the daytime.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," I responded dryly turning sideways and crossing my arms. "I've been doing the same thing for a few hundred years…I think I've got the hang of it by now." Besides, the only reason my workload has increased is because of the dumb rule book…I thought to myself.

I looked into the shorter man's golden eyes and he threw me a smile of reassurance. After a few final streams of advice, he waved his goodbyes and exited out the window. I walked over slowly to shut it and then turned my head to look at the sleeping brunette. Now I just had to figure out a way to explain it to him…

…

…

**~B~**  
Groggily, my eyes fluttered open and I saw the streams of golden daylight strewn across my ceiling. Over the course of the night I had kicked my comforter around, as it was strewn haphazardly around me. However a thought itched the back of my mind. There was something…

I had gotten such a well-rested sleep that it felt like eons had gone by since the last time I was conscious. What happened…

I was wearing my everyday clothes. The clothes I was wearing because I…

I shot up like a rocket so fast that I saw stars. Clasping a hand to my head to ease the dizziness, I looked straight ahead to see Jack lounging on my desk with one leg propped up and him casually tossing the magic-eight-ball up and down.

"Jack?" I asked surprised to still see him there.

He grinned at me and hopped off the desk while saying, "About time you're awake. I thought you'd sleep forever."

I leaned back on one arm as I asked, "What happened last night? Sandy…"

He stopped tossing the magic-eight-ball and, instead, stared at it, suddenly avoiding eye contact with me.

"What?" I asked suddenly fearful. I felt like I was about to get a life-changing diagnosis from a medical professional.

He sighed and reached out to exchange the magic-eight-ball for his staff before walking over to climb on the bed. He settled down cross-legged in front of me and laid his staff across his lap. "I'm sorry Sandy knocked you out like that," he apologized. "It's just that you were getting hysteric and he figured it would be easier for me to talk to you when you were calm."

I wouldn't say I was hysteric…

"Well, talk to me then. Why did the Nightmares want to hurt me?" I asked. Something just didn't add up. I didn't feel like I did the last time I encountered them… I was afraid. I was afraid before I even knew they were there. Even Jack was afraid…

I looked into his eyes to find the truth. Upon my gaze meeting his, he rubbed his lips together and said slowly, "They weren't Nightmares."

"What?" I asked, my brow coming together in confusion.

"They…" he exhaled and looked off to the side for a moment before returning his gaze and saying, "The Nightmares are of Pitch's creation. Made up of his nightmaresand in imitation of the real thing."

"What's the real thing?"

He sighed again as if unsure how to explain it to me. "They…" he trailed off and pursed his lips thoughtfully, then he turned his crystalline eyes up to me and said quietly, "Jamie…Why are people afraid of the dark?"

"Huh?" I asked in surprise to the question. "I dunno…because it's dangerous?"

"Yeah, most people get nervous when the lights go out. Humans have spent their whole existence trying to escape the darkness. Even a newborn knows to be wary of it. However, a baby would just show curiosity around something as dangerous as a sharp knife or a flame," he explained as he watched me seriously.

"So what?" I asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"So fear of the dark is the most natural fear a person has. It's older than humanity itself. And it's because of the Fearlings."

He watched me intently, the blue of his eyes piercing straight through as he waited for my response.

"What…What do they want?" I asked carefully. I needed to know why there were there in the woods last night. Why they were following us. And what about them made them so dangerous.

"They want to increase their numbers."

"Huh?" I asked, my eyes widening. "What does that even mean?"

"The Fearlings are shapeshifters," he explained slowly. "They live shrouded in darkness, consuming any light source within their reach. They rarely show themselves above ground anymore, only feeding on the occasional human who unfortunately wanders too far underground."

"What's keeping them down there?"

"Nothing…well," he paused and backtracked pensively, "several thousand years ago, there was a war. The Fearlings were rampant, consuming everyone that wandered too far away from their homes and fires. Long story short, Sandy and Manny destroyed many of the Fearlings, forcing them into hiding. Their numbers have been too small for them to try and fight back."

"But…you said they're trying to change that?"

"That's what Sandy suspects. He's not entirely sure himself why they've chosen all of a sudden to resurface."

"So why doesn't Sandy or Manny just wipe them out like they did before?"

"Urgh," Jack grunted and leaned forward to bury his face in his hand, "I don't know, Jamie," he replied in annoyance, "He didn't tell me much. But I can imagine they're not easy to find. We were in the woods for a long time and I never sensed them."

Despite my hoard of questions, I didn't say anything for a moment in order to let his irritation subside. He rubbed his temples slowly for a few minutes and looked up at me sadly. "I promised Sandy I would keep you safe," he uttered quietly.

"How?" I asked, holding the question I really wanted to ask back.

"Because you're no longer a child, Sandy's dreamsand won't reach you at night on its own. But if I put you to sleep with it, then the Fearlings won't be able to locate you," he explained.

Then the answer I really needed to know. "What will they do if they find me?" I asked in a surprisingly even tone.

"They'll change you into one of them," Jack answered solemnly.

That…I didn't like that idea. Nor did I like the idea of being eaten. Now, I still had questions, but I figured that I should hold them off until later. My bed was starting to feel like freezer.

"So…you're going to put me to sleep every night?" I asked curiously.

He nodded his head and added, "And I'll watch over you. I won't let them take you." His eyes were determined, and it made me feel a thousand times better to know that he'd stay with me.

"But what about Sophie?" I asked suddenly. "And…and my mom or Monty, Pippa, and-"

"Don't worry," Jack said holding up a hand to stop my prattle, "Sophie's protected under the dreamsand and the Fearlings are only after you and a few others that Sandy knows about."

_Uh…what._

"Why?" I asked growing more confused the more my questions were answered.

He exhaled in frustration again and stared at my chest as he answered quietly, "Sandy doesn't exactly know what they're looking for, but it's obvious that you're different. You're strong." He switched his gaze up to meet mine, the crystals in his irises practically glittering in the sunlight.

It took me a moment to realize I had stopped breathing. My brain was trying to process so much that part of me was having trouble accepting that it was all real.

"You'll protect me?" I asked quietly for my own personal reassurance.

"Yes,' he confirmed without hesitation. He watched me without blinking, as if studying my reactions carefully.

Exhaling slowly, I gave him a half-smile to try and break the tension. I didn't want to believe that I was in any actual danger. That as long as Jack was around, everything would be alright… But another part of me didn't want to feel that helpless. To have to rely on someone I cared about and have him risk his safety for my sake.

"Won't this get in the way of your job?" I asked suddenly feeling like a burden.

His expression relaxed and he rolled his eyes while replying, "Don't worry about that. If North makes a stink about it, then I'll freeze Frankie again."

"Who's Frankie?"

"Don't worry about it."

My brow furrowed and I looked at him skeptically for a moment. After seeing the expression on my face he elaborated, "Look Jamie... I don't mind working twice as hard during the day if it means keeping you safe."

"But…I don't want to make you do-"

He interrupted firmly, "I want to."

I laughed ironically and leaned my forehead into my hand. "No, I mean…can't I do anything? I don't want to have to be protected…"

Suddenly I felt a cool hand touch the back of my hand, which was supporting my head. Looking up in surprise at him he continued, "Try to understand, Jamie. This is bigger than you. And," he smiled a little before adding, "This is the first time in a long time that I've had someone I wanted to protect. You're…important to me. I'd sooner die than let something bad happen to you."

I wasn't sure how long I was staring at him, but it must have been over a minute as I felt the repercussions of forgetting to breathe again.

"Promise me you'll come home before it gets dark?" he asked seriously.

I nodded my head, still struggling to get over the elation that he admitted his feelings without me having to drag it out of him.

He smiled at me in relief and leaned forward. I closed my eyes and felt a chill as he innocently kissed my forehead.

"Alright," he said quietly, "I better get going." And with that, he slid off my bed and threw his staff across his shoulder as he walked to the window.

"Jack?" I asked uncertainly. He turned sideways to look me, but suddenly I forgot what I wanted to say. I think I just wished he didn't have to leave.

"See you tonight," I said, the casual farewell suddenly feeling weighted given the circumstances.

He grinned at me again and responded, "Yeah, leave your window locked until I get here."

I nodded and watched him hop onto the sill and jump into the winter wind. I felt the coldness still remaining in my mattress finally sink into my skin and I so wished he'd come back. I didn't really feel like being alone…

…

 

"Jamie?"

Ah shit… I forgot that my mom still thought I was out all night shooting up heroine or whatever crazy thing her mind jumped to.

I got up from my desk to trudge my way downstairs to greet her beckoning call. She had been at work all day, and consequently, I forgot I was in trouble…in more ways than one I guess.

I emerged into the kitchen to see her hanging up her winter coat by the door.

"Sit," she said gesturing over to the kitchen table.

Not saying a word, I slinked over to the table like a dog anticipating to be swat with a newspaper.

After she finished taking off her boots, she walked over to join me as well. She settled across from me and folded her hands in front of her. It looked like she had a bit of a crazy day at work, either that or me keeping her up all night added to her disheveled appearance.

She chose not to say anything, but instead stared at me intently, clearly waiting for me to speak first.

"I'm sorry…" I said quietly.

"What were you _thinking_?" she asked dismayed. "You scared me half to **death** you know? I was panicking so much, I was about to call the police."

"I'm sorry…" I repeated and then elaborated, "I wasn't thinking. I just couldn't sleep and got up to go for a walk to try and clear my head. That's it, I swear."

It wasn't exactly a lie…

She sighed deeply and studied me for what seemed like an excruciatingly long time. Finally she said, "Alright. I'll accept that this time around. But don't do that to me again, you understand?"

I nodded solemnly. I felt bad for having scared her. But I wasn't doing anything wrong…

"You're grounded for two weeks," she added.

My head snapped up, "What?!" I protested.

"Just…" she sighed heavily and said, "Just don't argue with me Jamie. You know you can't just leave and go wherever without telling me. Those are the rules. I can't sleep at night if I don't know whether my own son is safe and asleep in his bed. Alright?"

I propped my head haughtily up on my elbow. I understood her worry…but I didn't do anything wrong…

She stood up and walked behind me; however, I refused to make eye contact with her. But then I felt her gently wrap her arms around me and squeeze me reassuringly. Kissing the top of my head once, she added, "Now, I'm going to take a nap. Just don't do it again, bud."

I wish it were easier for me to stay mad…but I begrudgingly let my anger ebb away. It's not like I wasn't already grounded in a sense…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks to those of you who subscribed and left kudos and comments!**
> 
> **I apologize again for deleting the original story. I hope that everyone can still find this again...**
> 
> **But come on! Let me know what you think so far!**
> 
> **You took five minutes reading this chapter, you can spare a few more to leave a comment xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

Just Let It Go

**~B~**  
"Dammit!" Monty cursed as he dropped the controller in frustration and sunk back into the beanbag chair. "I almost had it too…"

"Here, let me try," I suggested and he forlornly passed the controller off to me. It was a challenge in the game that required you to perfectly time yourself exactly 101 times. And it was a turbulent pain in the ass.

Monty and I both straightened up and stared transfixed on the screen as I consecutively hit the 80th mark. Just a little more…

"GOT IT!" I yelled after reaching the final mark. Completing this stupid challenge meant unlocking a special weapon in the game, which I didn't really care about, but Monty was the type who had to complete everything to the very last detail. I just didn't have the patience for that type of dedication.

"How the hell did you do that?" he asked turning to look at me dumbfounded. "I've been trying to complete that since yesterday!"

I shrugged my shoulders and responded, "Lucky I guess."

He breathed a sigh and saved his game before resuming an alternative quest. "Are you sure you can't just stay the night? There's another waste-of-time challenge that I can't manage to figure out…"

"I'm sure," I said laughing lightly, "I'm grounded and I have to be home before my mom is off of work and finds out I'm not there."

"Mm…that's so lame," he said as he continued to stare transfixed at the screen.

Several minutes passed as he continued to play the storyline. I didn't mind watching him play, in fact, I just liked being able to spend time with Monty. We had become better friends after my…confession, and it felt good to have this opportunity to be out of the house.

"So even though you've been grounded, have you made any headway with that one guy?" he asked feigning indifference as he continued to play.

I rolled my eyes despite his lack of awareness and responded, "Why so interested in my life anyway?"

"Because I'm currently living my life through yours. Now spill," he said as he fell into a fight with some enemy creatures and started rapidly clicking buttons.

"I already told you nothing happened."

"Bullshit."

"I'm serious," I said, my annoyance hanging heavy on my voice as I turned my head and glared at him.

"Well…what's up then? Are you just not sure about it?" he asked more casually, glancing at me briefly before returning to the fight on screen.

"No…I'm sure," I said as my thoughts trailed off. I thought back to this last week. Every night Jack had been staying in my room as I slept to protect me from the Fearlings. When I was ready to go to bed, he would sprinkle some of Sandy's sand over my eyes, after which I would fall into the deepest stupor of a sleep.

Which, I wasn't complaining. I haven't felt so rested in years. Probably because the dreamsand stopped visiting me. The downside was that I had to get a full night's sleep, or else it was extremely hard to wake up. This meant quelling my procrastination habit…which was still proving difficult.

But I just couldn't figure Jack out. I thought back to the third morning I woke up…

…

…

Arching my back and rubbing chunks of sand out of my eyes, I woke up to the lovely sound of my alarm clock. Reaching over I shut it off, turned on the lamp, and said in a rough voice, "Morning Jack."

I looked over to see him melted in my desk chair and messing with my 3D puzzle square, obviously bored out of his mind.

I swung my legs out of bed and said, "You don't have to stay there all night doing nothing you know."

"What else can I do?" he asked, the negativity ringing in his tone. I knew it was probably driving him insane having to stay in one place doing nothing for so long.

"Do you like to read?" I asked as I walked over to my closet to pull out clothes.

"Depends…"

Ungracefully shoving my legs into my jeans I asked, "You could read the story I wrote about you…If you wanted."

That seemed to perk him up. He hopped up from the chair, dropping the remaining pieces of the puzzle cube on my desk, and exclaimed, "You'd really let me read it?"

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him in shock for a second. "Yeah…" I answered, surprised that he didn't think I'd let him. "I'll print it out for you and everything."

A grateful smile broke across his face and as he looked at me, I felt my chest warm. Hoping he didn't notice somehow, I scratched the back of my neck and smiled back at him briefly before turning to continue getting ready for school.

"What are you doing today?" he asked curiously as he hopped onto my bed and settled down into a crouch, his arms laying casually across his knees.

"I dunno," I yawned, "Probably nothing. I think my mom gets off in the afternoon, so I'll have to come straight home."

"Well if you ever want to see your friends or something, let me know and I'll swing by to walk you home," he offered.

I finished getting dressed and looked up at him doubtfully. "You don't have to do me a favor for letting you read my story," I told him. "You're already going out of your way to babysit me."

"No no," he said still smiling and shaking his head, "I don't mind at all. And besides, do you even understand how much it bothers me to see you having no fun at all?"

I snorted and replied, "That's what happens when you're grounded."

"So? Next time your mom is working, go do something! She doesn't have to know."

I laughed quietly and gave in, "Alright, will do."

…

…

Smiling at the memory I was yanked out of my thoughts by Monty saying, "So just make a move on him already. You already said you kissed him a couple times and he didn't mind."

My face fell and I stared down at my knees. "It's not that easy…" I said.

"Sure it is. What's stopping you?"

The fact he's had next to zero human interaction in over 200 years…

"I'm just not sure he's comfortable with it," I replied simply.

Monty grunted, half in understanding and half from almost dying on screen.

Suddenly feeling awkward and wanting to end the current conversation, I stood up from the lime green beanbag chair and said, "I need to be heading back anyways. My mom is going to be home soon."

"Alright," Monty said half paying attention to my departure, "Just let me know next time you want to hang out.

Leaving his room and climbing down the stairs, I was thankful Monty's mom wasn't home either. It would have been bad if she absentmindedly told my mom about me being over there when I was supposed to be grounded…

I left his house and walked up the street to my own. The sun was starting to go down, but it was still plenty light out. After the whole conversation with Jack about the Fearlings, I had been afraid to go outside after dark. It sucked too, since it was early winter and the sun set at like six o'clock.

But overall I was happy to be spending more time with him…even if I was asleep for most of it. We would still hang out for a few hours before I had to go to bed, and then he would follow me to school since it was still dark out in the morning too. And at least now he would sometimes sit on the bed with me and read while I slept. I had printed out my whole story, which amounted to roughly 200 some odd pages. So it was something to keep him busy for a while at least.

As I walked up to my front door I heard a faint ringing that alerted me to his presence. Looking up at the tree by my window, I smiled when I saw him sitting up there flicking acorns at the squirrel that resided there.

"Hey Jack," I chuckled once I saw him land his target, making the squirrel chatter in annoyance.

"Hey kiddo," he brightened and glided gently down, leaning his staff across his shoulder. "Did you spend time with Monty like you wanted?"

I nodded my head in confirmation and then resumed unlocking the front door. I motioned for him to come inside, after which he silently slipped through.

"Hello?" I called just to check if anyone was home. As I expected, they weren't. After work, my mom had to wait and pick up Sophie after dance class. So they wouldn't be home for a couple more hours.

"You could have stayed out longer you know," Jack said after understanding we were home alone. He became more aware of not talking to me when others were around so that I didn't sound like a crazy person having conversations with myself. He had learned about Sophie's situation and felt guilty about it, he didn't want the same circumstances to befall me either.

"Yeah, I know. But it was starting to get dark and I didn't want to leave you waiting," I told him honestly as I took off my boots and coat.

"Don't worry about me Jamie, seriously," he said as he followed me upstairs.

"I can't help but worry about you," I told him truthfully again. "Someone's gotta care what trouble you get yourself into."

"Hey," he started accusingly, "I'll have you know I haven't done anything troublesome this last week."

"Except causing a snowstorm in Texas and shooting acorns at the squirrel outside my window," I replied teasingly while dropping my backpack next to my desk and turning around to face him.

"Come on! It was like half an inch of snow and those kids deserve a snow day once in a while too," he said waving his arms around. "And are you seriously going to ban me from bothering a stupid **squirrel**?"

"I don't want you to hurt him," I said but I couldn't help myself from smiling at how aggravated I was making him.

"Oh he will be just fine," he said stubbornly crossing his arms.

It was hard not to find his roller coaster emotions really endearing. It seemed that even though he would get easily worked up about random things, it was only certain memories that seemed to affect his magic. Like memories of his past or other deep emotions. So I didn't mind pestering him like this.

"Why are you smiling at me like that?" he asked begrudgingly.

Without answering, I took a step toward him and pulled him into a hug. Like expected, I felt him tense up from the contact, but he remained unmoving until I released him a few seconds later.

"You're really weird," he grumbled taking a step backwards and ruffling a hand through his choppy hair.

"Whatever," I said rolling my eyes and turning around to take out my chemistry work.

"What are you doing?" he asked hopping onto the edge of my bed.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I asked not feeling the need to answer an obvious question.

"I meant why are you doing homework on a Friday night?" he clarified leaning forward to peer over my shoulder while supporting his weight on his staff.

"Because what else am I supposed to do?" I asked spinning in my chair to look at him. "It's getting dark, so we can't go outside. And I can't go anywhere because I'm grounded."

He bit his lip and looked off to the side. My eyebrows came together wondering what he was thinking about. I waited patiently for him to say what he was thinking.

"I…could help you with your story…" he suggested all of a sudden looking…nervous?

"What do you mean?" I asked, a little taken aback by the suggestion.

He rubbed the back of his head and continued, "Well, you said it yourself that you embellished a lot of it. And I've only just started reading it but…I could…help you write the stuff that you weren't there for?" he asked glancing up at me hopefully.

I stared at him for a moment. He was…too cute…I had never thought that I would ever find a guy cute before. But with him I couldn't help it.

"Jamie?" he asked tentatively after I didn't answer him.

"Oh!" I exclaimed shaking myself out of my thoughts, "I mean yeah. Of course. I'd like that a lot actually."

He gave a relieved smile and settled down cross-legged on the corner of my bed. "Alright, so I've got a good story for you to add to the second chapter…"

And that was how we spent most of the night. Since I didn't have school the next day, I didn't have to go to bed early. My mom came home and I made her think I was doing homework.

It was about two in the morning when I decided to call it quits.

"Alright…I'm getting really tired," I said yawning widely and stretching my arms above my head. Looking over at him, I saw the disappointment fall across his face. "But…we can continue tomorrow night," I said encouragingly. "I promise to do something fun during the day."

He brightened at that statement and hopped off my bed to go pull out the plastic box that contained the pillowcase of dreamsand from my closet.

"Ok kiddo," he said with finality as he pinched a little of the golden sand to put in his palm and walked over to me.

I pulled back my covers and crawled into bed. As I settled down I asked, "Are you going to keep reading it tonight?"

Smiling gently he replied, "Yeah, of course."

And with that, I closed my eyes and felt the soft tickling of the sand dust falling across my eyelids.

…

…

"Mmmn," I grumbled as I stirred awake. It always felt so good to not wake up to an alarm. I rubbed the sand out of my eyes and sat up while opening one eye. A weight of disappointment fell on my chest as I realized that my room was empty. It was already mid-morning, so he must have taken off hours ago.

I couldn't help the sigh that escaped me as I stood up to use the restroom. After relieving myself and brushing my teeth, I trudged downstairs to grab some food. I realized that I had been so preoccupied with Jack last night that I had forgotten to eat dinner.

"Hey baby," my mom greeted me as I walked into the kitchen scratching my head.

"Hi," I said still not entirely woken up. I walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a bowl and some cereal.

"When you're done with breakfast, could you take the trash out to the curb?" she asked not really as a question.

"Yeah, sure," I grumbled. I could hear Sophie in the living room watching cartoons and my mom looked like she was writing the grocery list for Saturday's shopping trip.

I finished my breakfast and put my boots on without bothering to change out of my pajama pants or put on a coat. I stepped out the back door to grab the garbage bins and drag them around front. The cold bit at my bare arms and I felt it freeze the inside of my nose. However, I was starting to not be bothered by it as much.

It wasn't until I settled the bins down on the curb before I looked up to see Pippa walk out of her house. She met my gaze and I struggled with deciding whether to talk to her or merely wave. However, my decision was made for me when she turned her head and walked to her car without looking at me twice.

Great. She still hated me.

All of a sudden feeling like my day was ruined, I turned around and walked stiffly back inside. Seeing my mom start to gather things to get ready for the grocery store I asked, "Hey mom. Would it be ok if I hung out with Monty or someone today?"

"You're grounded Jamie. You know the rules," she said in her unwavering motherly way.

"Yeah but…" I decided to go with the truth with this one, "I just saw Pippa and she still won't look at me. I really don't want to be by myself right now…"

That made her stop what she was doing and look up at me in concern. It wasn't often I confessed to her about my emotional or relationship problems, so she knew that this was only the tip of my iceberg of problems.

She didn't answer for a moment, but continued to watch me. Finally she said, "Alright. But just for the afternoon. Be home before dark."

"I will," I promised. "Thanks, mom."

She smiled gently at me and walked up to give me a hug. I gave her a weak one-armed hug back as I didn't really want my own mother to feel sorry for me. But I needed to get out of my house and do something fun without feeling guilty.

She grabbed her grocery bags and left out the door. After she went, I turned around to see Sophie standing there.

"Pippa will forgive you," she said smiling a little up at me.

"And how do you know that?" I asked her, not really sure if I could count on the wisdom of a thirteen year old.

"Because she loves you," she replied gently.

I sighed and walked past her saying, "Not really helping, sis."

Thankfully, she didn't follow me and I walked upstairs to take a shower. It didn't help for me to be reminded just how much I had actually hurt her…and for reasons I couldn't help.

…

…

"Hey kiddo, did you manage to not be lame for a day?" Jack asked as I opened the window to let him inside.

I laughed lightly and replied, "Yeah, yeah. I know you doubt me, but I do know how to have fun."

"Well what'd you do?" he asked curiously as he settled in his usual spot on the corner of my bed, laying his staff across his lap.

"Hung out with Monty, Cupcake, and Ash," I replied. "We went to the park and then played pool in Ash's basement."

"Wooow congratulations," he said feigning admiration.

I let out a laugh and settled down into my office chair. "So…at what part did you leave off last night?" I asked in reference to my story.

The corner of his lips crept up into a small smile as he looked off to the side. "The, uh, the part after you saw me for the first time," he said softly.

I couldn't help but smile at the memory as well. I knew he'd like that part.

"Anything you want to add or change about it?" I asked curiously.

He shook his head and said, "No…I think that part's fine like it is. I never really thought about it from your perspective before…"

I felt my heart glow from him admitting that he liked it so much. "You know…" I started to say thoughtfully after thinking about the things I wrote about him, "I think I've always felt some kind of connection to you. Ever since I was a kid."

He smiled broadly and leaned back on his hands while exclaiming, "Yeah well…it was good timing. For the Guardians because we needed someone like you, and for you because, well, let's admit that your childhood was way better because of me."

I snorted and reached out to punch his knee playfully, "Shut up. You know what I mean."

"I do…but Jamie…we both know that you'll move on eventually."

My world came to a screeching halt as I looked over at him sharply. "What are you talking about?" I asked really unsure of where all this was suddenly coming from.

He stood up from the bed and clasped his hands behind his head and he paced and explained assuredly, "Come on Jamie. You're young and you're just going through a phase. You'll move on and find someone else you like soon enough."

I stood up as well and gaped at him in astonishment. "How the hell do you know?" I asked starting to feel my blood simmer at what he was suggesting.

"I've been around and I've seen it before," he said candidly looking off to the side.

"You're a two-hundred year old bachelor!" I half-yelled struggling to keep my voice down.

"Yeah but I've lived a long time," he said turning his eyes onto me, which all of a sudden appeared more piercing than I've seen them. "People fall in and out of love faster than you can blink. You worry about Pippa, but she'll forgive you. And you think you love me right now, but you'll find someone n-"

"Don't you **dare** make light of what I feel for you," I growled making him immediately stop talking once he heard the tone in my voice. Being unable to stop myself, I continued, "Do you think I wanted this?" I asked spreading my arms out. "You have no idea what I would **give** to feel for Pippa what I feel for you," I exclaimed laying emphasis on certain words. "I hurt my best friend and now she fucking **hates** me for it. But you know what?" I asked almost exasperated and taking a step backwards, "I can't help it. No matter what I do or where I go I can't stop thinking about you."

He stared at me with a completely neutral expression and didn't say anything. I wasn't sure what his problem was. It seemed he was so afraid of rejection that he was trying to sabotage it himself.

"You know," I went on, "Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just momentarily infatuated with you and I'll move on. It's not like I haven't been second guessing my own thoughts about this."

And that part was true. I couldn't stop thinking about whether what I felt was real or just intense intrigue. Whether it actually came down to it...If being with him was as good as I imagined. Or if I'd be repulsed. I just didn't know.

"But…" I took a step toward him and added, "Could I just try something first and find out for sure?"

His eyes flickered up to look at my face and I could see the slightest sparks of fear in them. But he conceded anyway and nodded his head slightly.

Sliding my hand around the back of his neck I leaned down and pulled his face up a little to bring my lips to his. As soon as they met I felt a burst of cool electricity surge across my face. I had been wanting to do this since we had last kissed in the woods and the feeling was making me feel faint. As if I myself didn't believe he was actually letting me do this again.

I slowly moved my lips against his as I waited for him to relax a little. He felt tense like he always did when I came this close to him, but I wished he would enjoy it. I reached out to hold onto his hip as I rubbed gentle circles into his hair with my fingertips.

I felt his breath shudder against me and at first I thought he wanted to stop. But then his body collapsed into mine and he gripped onto my shirt, pulling and squeezing the material in a vice grip. Wrapping an arm around his lower back, I pulled him against me and fell into a trance. This was the longest we had ever kissed. And he tasted so…sweet. I didn't want to stop…

I took his lip gingerly between my teeth and a soft yelp reached my ears. His reactions were so pure and raw. I wonder… Experimentally, I ran my tongue across his lower lip and quiet whimpers escaped him that nearly drove me to the brink of my sanity. It was no longer a question for me. I wanted this.

Supporting his lower back, I lifted him and laid him across my bed. I heard him gasp my name only a moment before I climbed over him and crushed my lips back into his. His hands reached up to grip onto my shoulders blades and I felt all the energy and want that I had been holding back come undone. Whatever doubts I had didn't matter to me anymore. I wanted to hear every sound and feel every part of him. I wanted…

Snaking a hand down, I slid a hand underneath his sweatshirt and breathed a sigh as I felt as though my fingertips were tingling after finally feeling his skin. It was so smooth and cool. His body trembled with every gentle touch and it was then I realized he hadn't felt another person's touch in centuries… No one's except mine…

I slid my hand up further, pulling his sweatshirt up to expose his stomach, and lightly grazed my palms over his nipples. His back violently arched and he shivered and whimpered as I continued to kiss him with all the passion and want that I had been holding back.

I didn't care he was a guy. I found him irresistible. And I wanted to hear him more…

I slid my hand back down and he broke our kiss and gasped like a drowning person finally finding air again. I pressed my lips gently against the cool flesh of his neck as I found the button of his pants and fumbled with it, Jack panting and gasping erratically as he firmly gripped my shoulders.

"Jamie!" he cried out as I loosened it and slid my hand down his slender hip.

My heart was practically pounding out of my chest. I felt him shake and gasp and hearing him cry out my name was the cherry on top. I-

"Jamie STOP!"

Before I knew it my head had come into contact with something hard and a sharp pain ricocheted up my spine as my butt slammed into the floor. My whole body felt cold and I couldn't see anything for a few seconds.

Disoriented, I searched my vision until Jack swam back into view. He was kneeling, disheveled, on my bed, which was a good several feet from me with an expression that carried several distinct shades of fear. I realized my back was pressed into my bookcase and most of books were lying strewn around me. I reached up slowly and gingerly rubbed the back of my head, feeling a dull throb emanate from my skull.

"Jamie?!" I heard my mom call from down the hall. Shit, why did she have to hear that?

"I'm fine mom!" I called trying to hide the pain from my voice. "I just tripped!"

Looking back over to Jack, I saw him still staring at me in shock. And once I became fully aware of my senses again, I realized the temperature in my room was sharply dropping.

"I'm…" he started to say as I slowly got up. "I've gotta go…Stay awake till I get back."

And like a ghost he whisked out my window and it was at that moment that I realized how badly I screwed up.

God...dammit.


	12. Not Like You

Not Like You

"But," he said as he took a step toward me and added, "Could I just try something first and find out for sure?"

After hearing the seriousness in his voice, I glanced back up to look into his eyes. His stare was deeper than before… An anxiety was boiling behind them and I suddenly knew what he wanted to do. He was asking my permission again.

A million thoughts buzzed around my head. _What do I do? If I say no then I'll upset him again. And…why should I say yes anyway? He's just a kid. Sure, he's important to me, but I don't even know what he expects to happen… I'm invisible. Except to him. But he still sees me to be as real as anyone else. Maybe…_

Hardly realizing it, I found myself nodding slightly. His expression instantly relaxed and he smiled slightly before reaching forward to slide his hand around the back of my head.

Everything seemed to happen at once. I felt the immense warmth of his body emanating mere centimeters from mine and his hand burned into my hair. Although I could hardly prepare myself for his mouth. Fire seared across my face as he brought his lips against mine. It wasn't like this before…We were outside and the cold clung to his skin, insulating me from this heat. This is what he really felt like.

I pressed my eyes shut and tried to ignore the discomfort swarming across my face. But he pushed against me with even more urgency, his fingers gently massaging my hair. My lips started to prickle, like tiny sparks were rapidly bursting underneath my skin.

In spite of everything, I couldn't pull away. As uncomfortable as his warmth was, it was entrancing. Stars danced behind my eyelids and before I realized it, my knees went weak. I fell forward into him and gripped onto his shirt to save myself. It was like I was being drawn in. I welcomed his warmth. It was different than others. And I wanted to be engulfed in it.

But then I felt as he wrapped an arm around my back and gripped my hip with his other hand. What was he-?

"Mmn!"

I yelped in surprise as he bit onto my lower lip. I didn't even realize that I had made that sound, why was he-?

Little whimpers escaped my throat as he swiped his tongue across my lip, leaving a trail of molten wax in its wake. I wasn't sure if I could handle this anymore…

But before I could react, my feet left the ground as he lifted me up and placed me on his mattress.

"Jamie?" my voice cracking as I whispered his name. What was he doing? He never asked to do this, I-

But all thoughts were torn from my mind as he crushed his bodyweight into me, his heat suffocating. I couldn't breathe anymore.

In a futile attempt, I reached up to grip onto his shoulders trying to push him away. But he continued hungrily attacking my mouth. I couldn't protest…My voice wouldn't work. I could only stare wide-eyed as the sweltering heat consumed me.

I was in such a state of shock, I was not at all prepared to feel his hand on my stomach. It hurt…It burned…It kept moving…

My whole body was shaking at this point, not knowing what was happening. I couldn't think. All I could do was dig my nails into his shoulders and feel as though my very core was being increasingly crushed.

"AHaa!" I cried out and jerked as his hands explored my chest. His skin was too hot, I didn't like it.

Finally he stopped kissing me and pressed his lips gently into my neck, unaware that I was struggling to merely take a breath. My lungs felt deflated. His hand traveled down my abdomen, charring a trail of sparks under my skin, and moved on to fumble with my pants. Panic flooded my belly as I realized how much further he wanted to go.

"Jamie!" I gasped, grimacing against the pressure pushing against my ribs. But his hand slid down my hip and my terror spiked. The constriction around my chest became unbearable.

I didn't want…I didn't want to.

"Jamie STOP!" I yelled as the pressure snapped. Energy erupted from my body and the next thing I knew, Jamie had flown across the room and into the bookcase. As if in slow motion, I saw his head hit the edge of the shelf before falling like a limp sack onto the floor. His eyes swiveled as if trying to find reality. I crawled, disheveled, to the edge of the bed and stared at him wishing upon the moon that he was ok. Books were strewn haphazardly around him as they had toppled to the floor.

Jamie reached up to rub the back of his head as his mother called to him from down the hall. As he answered her, the enormity of the situation finally hit me.

What did I just do?

He looked back over at me and the fear bubbled up again. I almost hurt him again… I didn't even know what happened. I had never done anything like that before…

"I'm…" I started to apologize, but as he stood up, I felt my magic surge into my limbs with such unrestrained ferocity that I grew scared. "I've gotta go…" I reiterated, afraid to cause him any more harm, but then remembered my original purpose. "Stay awake till I get back."

And before I unconsciously turned his room into an ice box, I leaped off his bed, grabbed my staff, and sprung out the window.

…

…

Urrrrrgggghhh…what was I THINKING?

My mind vehemently battled with itself as I sat on my bed clutching my knees to my chest. I was so goddamn selfish…

I realized that I had overstepped my bounds. My mind had been so clouded with my own thoughts and desires that I didn't even stop to think about Jack. He tensed up when I so much as hugged him. Why did I have to go and push it that far?

Groaning in frustration, I pressed my eyes into my knees trying to bury my humiliation. Multi-colored lights burst behind the darkness of my eyelids as I wrestled with forming an apology. What do I even say? Sorry I nearly assaulted you, so please don't hate me?

Urggghhh….But why didn't he just tell me to stop earlier? No…I couldn't blame him. I should have been the one to realize he didn't want to. Or did he? I hoped-

My thoughts were interrupted as I heard my window creak open and felt the icy chill of winter slide into my room. I jerked my head up to see him quietly hop down into my room. His expression looked at me apprehensively, but at least the fear had vanished from his eyes.

"Hey Jack," I started as I got from the bed and walked toward him with my arms apologetically spread a little, "I'm **so** sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You didn't ask for it and I should have realized you wouldn't want to. I-"

He held a hand up to quiet me before setting his staff aside and walking toward me. He fluidly reached up and wrapped his arms around my neck, the cloud of winter chill settling against my neck and chest.

"Jack?" I asked in surprise at the gesture. I had expected him to not want to come near me…

Then I felt his fingers glide against the back of my head, a gentle coolness seeping into my skull, offsetting the throbbing pain my fall had left me with. He remembered…Pulling away, he smiled sadly and said in a low voice, "Jamie…I don't think I can be what you want me to be."

My eyes widened. "What do you mean?" I asked suddenly afraid he wanted to leave again. "If it's about what happened, I won't do it again. I'm so **sorry**. I just thought-"

But I stopped once I heard him sigh deeply as his face fell to look at the floor. He turned around and hopped onto my desk chair before settling into a crouch, his arms folded across his legs. "Jamie I'm not…"

"What?" I asked again, afraid of hearing the answer. Of course he wasn't attracted to me. He used to be a colonist, and odds were he didn't go that way with a…boy. Oh God. What if he was a Puritan? Or a-

"I'm not…human," he said, his voice cracking as he struggled to produce the final word.

Huh?

I could only stare at him in a mixture of shock and confusion as I waited for more of an answer.

"I mean," he started to clarify as he raised a hand to run it anxiously through his hair. "I don't **need** the same things you do."

I continued to stare at him as if deaf and dumb.

"…I don't understand," I admitted honestly.

He got off the chair to reclaim his staff as he launched into an explanation. "I don't **feel** the same things you feel," he reiterated and I saw his eyes glaze over. "I don't eat because I'm never hungry… I don't have to sleep because I don't feel exhaustion. It's…It's even hard for me to feel pain like I used to…" He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his lips together while looking off to the side as if suppressing a memory.

"But…but you can eat, right? I mean…if you wanted to…" I asked in masked seriousness.

"I…Yeah I guess. I just never **want** to," he stressed as he looked back up at me sadly, his eyes shining as our gaze connected.

I knew he felt guilty for disappointing me…and throwing me across the room. But it killed me to see him look at me like that. As though he felt lesser than me…

Without a word, I walked forward and pulled him into me, wrapping my arms protectively around his back and shoulders.

He hesitated for a moment, but then conceded in hugging me back. As he did so, I at least felt him relax into me. I didn't want to pretend like I knew what he was going through. I didn't know what it was like to never feel hungry…or tired. Frankly, it sounded like a relief.

"Do you miss it?" I asked quietly into his shoulder.

He didn't answer for a minute and I thought he didn't understand what I meant. But then he slowly nodded his head against my shoulder.

"It's been so long… I forget what those things feel like," he murmured and I felt his icy breath feather against my neck.

I squeezed him a little tighter and didn't say anything. I didn't know what I could say to make him feel better. All I knew was he didn't mind being around me. And that was going to have to be enough. Anything as long as he didn't leave again…

"Will you still stay with me?" I asked, feeling my voice catch in my throat.

"Of course."

…

…

The next morning, I woke up with him lying next to me reading my story. But what woke me up, other than the fact it was daylight, was him absentmindedly stroking my hair. I smiled slightly and decided to lie there for a while longer. It was comforting. I never had anyone to treat me like this before. Well, maybe except my mother when I was a kid. But it just reassured me to know he wasn't scared or upset with me for what happened the other night.

He lifted his hand to turn the page over. He really liked that story…

I yawned widely and rolled over to face him, rubbing sand out of my eyes as I propped myself up on my elbow. He glanced over at me and I saw him smile slightly after noticing I was waking up.

"You're still here," I stated, my voice rasping sleepily.

He nodded contentedly and added, "I didn't really want to leave yet."

"Don't you have work though?" I asked pushing myself up into a sitting position and leaning against the headboard.

"What am I? The Easter Bunny?" he sneered in amusement.

Growing confused, I clarified, "No…You just always say you have work to do and have to leave at dawn."

He shrugged his shoulders and set the story on my bedside table before sinking down into the mattress. "Work schmerk," he sighed while crossing his arms behind his head and staring at the ceiling.

I continued to stare at him. His behavior just never made sense to me.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" I asked quietly.

"For what?"

He also had the most insane case of selective memory disorder of anyone I knew…

"For freaking you out last night," I explained.

He snorted once before retorting, "Don't worry about it, Jamie. I'm fine. I was more afraid I had hurt you."

"It's only a bump on the head."

"Yeah…well. I shouldn't have given it to you," he said as his voice lowered in regret.

Looking down at him as he lay in my bed made me remember last night. Even though I felt guilty about it…I still enjoyed it. It was…different than anything I had experienced before. And I couldn't quite figure out the exact reason why. I just liked being close to him…But as my mind considered kissing him again, I immediately incinerated that idea.

"I'll be right back," I said before my thoughts got the better of me. I pulled the covers off of me and walked into the bathroom.

After taking care of myself, I walked out to find my mom in the hallway wearing her scrubs and holding her purse as if on her way out.

"Hi mom…" I said hesitantly, hoping she didn't bring up the raucous from last night.

She looked up at me a little tiredly and said, "Morning Jamie. I just got called into work, would you mind watching your sister today?"

"Uh…no. No problem," I replied. Ever since two other nurses retired, they had been short staffed.

"Thanks baby," she sighed as she leaned in to kiss the side of my head before turning to go down the stairs.

After she left, my sister poked her head out of her room. "I don't need a babysitter, you know," she said begrudgingly.

"Yeah…well…stop getting into trouble at school and maybe mom will believe you," I said wryly. To which she stuck her tongue out at me.

I smirked and turned to head back into my room while scratching the back of my head. As I entered, I saw Jack sitting cross-legged on my bed waiting for me.

"Are you off then?" I asked after shutting the door and leaning against it.

"Well…I was actually planning on staying here today…If that's alright with you?" he said slowly.

"What for?" I asked wondering what the occasion was.

"Today's the last day of winter…"

"You're kidding!" I said turning to look out my window. I opened it slightly and felt the familiar chill drift in. No way was it going to suddenly spring tomorrow. It was only March!

"Unfortunately yeah…It's coming early this year. I can feel it," he said disappointed.

Suddenly a realization hit me. "What am I going to do at night then?" I asked growing worried. "You can't travel in warm weather…"

"No, but you can," he said smirking up at me.

My eyebrows came together not really sure what he was getting at.

"Meet me in your backyard," he said grinning widely before whisking across my room and out my bedroom window.

Even more confused, I left my room and sailed down the stairs before shoving my feet into my boots and grabbing my coat.

As I left out my back door, my breath froze on the air and my eyes searched around for the white ghost of winter. All I saw was my backyard. The oak tree, Abbey's old doghouse, and the vacant garden patch were undisturbed.

Then I heard the faint ringing sound that alerted me to Jack's presence. Before I had thought it was simply in my head. And it was so quiet that I had barely noticed it. But after spending so much time with him, it became more distinct.

I looked up to see him reclining on a branch in the oak tree and I smiled, feeling accomplished that he couldn't sneak up on me as easily anymore.

"What'd you want to show me?" I asked curiously.

He hopped down, landing with a soft plop in the remaining remnants of snow, before motioning me over to him. I walked over, my boots crunching against the frozen grass as I went.

As I reached him he pointed to Abbey's old doghouse.

"What about it?" I asked not impressed.

He rolled his eyes and said, "Look inside genius."

I knelt down and bent my head to peer inside. Shuffling closer to get a better look, I noticed a hole was dug inside.

"What is it?" I asked unsure of where he was getting at.

Grinning, he explained, "The Easter Bunny dug it. It's a tunnel."

"To where?"

His gleeful smile growing, he stated eagerly, "To the North Pole."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  **So sorry for the late updates!**
> 
> **I'm moving into a new phase in my life, so I basically had to up and move very quickly.**
> 
> **But I am not giving up on this story!**
> 
> **If you're still reading and enjoying, I always appreciate the thought of a comment/kudos :3**
> 
> **Till next week! xx**  
> 


	13. The Frozen North

The Frozen North

**~B~**  
"The North Pole?" I blurted out while glancing once at the hole and back at Jack.

He smiled broadly at me and I noticed the glint in his eye as he said, "That's right. You wanna go?"

"Right **now**?" I exclaimed in an equal amount of surprise as my head was having difficulties wrapping itself around the concept.

His smile was lit up even further as he laughed, bemused by my shock.

"Yeah, everyone is expecting you," he chuckled.

"Everyone?"

I felt a light whack to the side of my head as he knocked me with the gnarled staff in an attempt at returning my cognitive function.

"Jamie. Do you want to go or not?" he laughed as I rubbed the side of my head.

"I…uh…Yeah! Of course I do! Let's-" but as I reached out to hold the side of the doghouse, a responsibility suddenly occurred to me. "Can we bring Sophie?" I asked, turning my head to look at him.

He simply nodded his head while maintaining the grin on his face. Taking that as my cue, I left him by the portal and bolted back into the house.

"SOPHIE!" I called partially out of excitement and partially wanting to get her attention upstairs.

"What?!" she called from her room, alarmed by my use of volume.

"Get dressed! We're going to the North Pole!"

I barely had a moment to take a breath before she had leapt down the stairs and was standing in front of me.

"Are you serious?!" she half-screamed at me as she grabbed my arms, her face reflecting the same excitement as mine.

I nodded furiously while grinning like an idiot, to which she proceeded to spin around and run to the front door to put on her winter gear.

After she finished, we both ran outside to find Jack where I had left him. He stood leaning against the doghouse nonchalantly as if waiting for a bus; however, his face was still glowing from seeing our excitement.

We halted in front of the doghouse and I crouched down to take a look inside. It would be hard for me to crawl into it, but I could manage. However, anxiety clouded my elation as I asked, "How does it work?"

"As long as you're not afraid of roller coasters, you'll be fine," he tried to assure me. But at the same time, that only raised more questions. He noticed my hesitation and said, "You'll be fine, Jamie. I've traveled through them before. Personally, I prefer flying. But this way is faster."

I gulped as I considered what he said. I wasn't afraid of roller coasters, but at least I knew they were designed with safety in mind. Have humans even travelled through one of these before?

"Move it James!" Sophie said, leaning her thirteen year old bodyweight into me, which only forced me to lean forward.

"Alright, alright! Stop," I complained before nervously licking my lips and crawling into the enclosed space. As I approached the tunnel, I grasped the edges with my gloves and peered down into the abyss. The darkness swallowed everything after only a few yards. All I could see up until that point were the walls of dirt.

"Do you need me to hold your hand or something?" I heard Jack mock me through the wooden exterior of the doghouse. I bit my lip so as not to admit that I kind of did.

But I had had enough of being a coward. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and mentally counted down.

Three.

Two.

One.

As soon as I reached zero, I pushed myself feet first into the hole and instantaneously, the G-forces shoved my stomach into my throat as I plummeted at terminal velocity. The darkness clouded my vision and I saw nothing as I slid recklessly into the void. I wanted to scream, but the air wouldn't come out. Instead, I gritted my teeth and hoped I'd get there before I threw up.

After the longest few minutes of my life, I saw a light in the distance.

Wait. If I was falling…how was I going to fall up?

The question was answered for me as the light sped toward me, growing ever larger, until it swallowed the darkness behind me and launched me into the air screaming before I plummeted into a pile of soft snow with a soft whump.

Urgh.

I groaned as gravity hugged me and the cold bit my face, but I had never felt so thankful in my life to have my face encapsulated in snow.

Pushing myself up with my hands, I lifted myself out of the snow pile, brushing off as much of the white powder as I could. Looking around, I saw the snowy wastelands of the mystical North Pole. The wind moaned and bit at my ears as it blew streams of snow against the massive ice cliff in front of me. But turning around, I saw the hole I just flew out of, and behind that I saw what appeared to be a domed…roof.

Before my curiosity could get the better of me, I heard the distant screaming of my little sister. Scrambling to get out of the way, I barely moved aside before I saw Sophie fly out of the tunnel and starfish into the massive cushion of snow.

Failing to hold back my laughter, I walked over to the pile and dug in search of her limbs. Discovering an arm, I grabbed her with both hands and yanked her free of the mound. She stood up, panting, chunks of snow sliding down her blonde hair, before looking at me with the utmost delight in her eyes and screamed, "THAT WAS AWESOME!"

Barely had she finished her sentence before Jack sprung out of the tunnel as well, but unlike us, he managed to catch himself in the wind and float gracefully down to earth.

"Have fun?" he asked expectantly.

"Loads," I replied sardonically and all of a sudden wishing there was a more comfortable mode to travel if this was something I had to do every night.

"Yeah, I've gotta remind Bunny to hit the brakes at the end there," he admitted while scratching the back of his neck. "But come on! Let's get inside before you both freeze."

Thankfully, we followed him to the spherical rooftop before turning to the side to climb down a set of stairs that were carved into the cliff face. After reaching the bottom, I saw a dark, wooden door set into the side of the strangely cylindrical-shaped building. Golden light flickered out the small window in the door and all I wanted at that moment was to go through it. I shivered in both anticipation and cold as I watched Jack walk up to it and pull a red, woven cord that hung from the rocky overhang. Soon enough, the small window was pulled aside and through stared the eyes of a large, hairy creature that gave me pause. But Jack wasn't alarmed by it, and instead, walked through the door as soon as the creature opened it.

Sophie and I followed him through the door into a small wooden room that looked to be built into the side of the glacier itself. Looking to the side I saw a staircase leading up and the huge, greyish-brown creature that had let us inside.

"Wow, no wonder you could never get past the yetis…" I breathed hardly realizing I had spoken, but was remembering what Jack had told me about them. The yeti grunted a positive affirmation and glanced over to Jack before nodding toward the staircase.

We followed Jack up the steps and upon turning the corner, I was immediately awestruck by the enormity I had just walked into.

It was…gigantic.

Walkways lined the enormous circular arena; however, the middle was left open to where I could see the ascending and descending floors, each decorated with red and gold tapestries hanging off of the banisters. Yetis and elves tottered about, busy with their work while toys buzzed and whizzed and flew all across the space. Looking up, I saw a colossal chandelier hanging from the height of the domed ceiling, cascading its trickling light down the walls of the immense central hall before focusing on an enormous globe that filled the majority of the central space. The globe glittered and sparkled with tiny multicolored lights that were strewn in clusters across every continent. Toy planes and kites flew around the massive sphere as their masters leaned against the banisters on the various floors observing their craft.

"Woah…" I breathed, my eyes wide and my mouth held open in a permanent gasp.

"Jamie!" a thundering voice boomed to my right startling me out of my rapture. The next thing I knew, my feet had left the ground as I was given the hug of a lifetime. My face squished into the rough strands of the man's beard and, after letting me go and allowing me to experience air again, I scratched my irritated cheek while looking up at him.

"North?" I asked, a broad smile stretching across my face.

"Of course! Who else do you expect to find at North Pole?" he bellowed before turning his attention onto my sister, who was standing equally awestruck next to me. "And little Sophie. You both not so little anymore, no?" he asked glancing at me with a twinkle in his eye. Then he straightened up before gesturing in the direction he came, "Come. Come. The others are waiting as well."

"Others?" I asked confused before turning to look at Jack.

"You did not tell him?" North asked accusingly while raising an eyebrow at Jack.

Jack scratched the back of his head while laughing nervously. "I…uh…no. I just-"

"No matter!" North interrupted. "Let's get going. However," he said his voice deepening before pointing a finger at Jack, "I deal with **you** later."

North turned to proceed along the walkway while the rest of us followed behind. I glanced over at Sophie, who was still marveling at the grand hall, before looking over at Jack.

"What's going on?" I asked him in a low voice so that North wouldn't hear.

"Theyy…just got together to discuss where we go from here…" he said, his voice half an octave higher than usual and his eyes avoiding mine like the plague.

"Jack-" I whisperingly accused but was cut off after North opened a pair of massive double doors and ushered us all inside.

Two rows of elves lined the entryway, poised and simultaneously blew their miniature trumpets as we walked into the extravagant hallway. Eyeing the small creatures with the most confused expression on my face, I also saw Jack in the corner of my vision shaking his head disapprovingly in his hand.

"Jamie!" an excited squeal came from across the hall, but before I could even blink and look up entirely, the Toothfairy had whizzed in front of me, staring wide-eyed at me with an excited smile. "Oh my gosh! Look at you!" she obsessed grabbing my shoulders like a proud mother. Just as suddenly, she grabbed my chin and pushed my head back while holding open my mouth. "And just look at your teeth! Moon above, you actually floss. Healthy gums and…" she ogled continued to banter as she jerked my head around to inspect my mouth.

I heard Jack clear his throat alongside me and she finally released me.

Chuckling at her behavior, she admitted, "You should probably go in to check on your wisdom teeth though, Jamie." Then like a bird, her gaze flitted over to Sophie, who had been gawking at the entire procedure. "And Sophie!" She fluttered to kneel on the ground in front of my sister, "I just received your last baby tooth last month. You've grown so much since I last saw you too…'

My sister, who had been muter than I had ever seen her, managed to finally stutter, "You're…you're the Toothfairy!"

The Toothfairy smiled kindly and nodded her head at the thirteen year-old girl.

"You're huge!" my sister exclaimed, causing the Toothfairy's smile to completely invert at the comment. "I- I- I- mean, Jamie always said the fairies were the size of a hummingbird."

"Ohh," the Toothfairy relaxed and straightened up after realizing the misunderstanding. "My fairies are basically mini-versions of myself. And they are indeed the size of a hummingbird."

"Woah…" Sophie breathed after looking up in wonder at the Toothfairy.

As they had been talking, the others had made their way down the hall as well.

"Ayy little ankle-biter," the Easter Bunny greeted my sister, who looked like she was on the verge of passing out.

"OhmygoshOhmygosh," she hyperventilated as she stared up at the giant anthropomorphic rabbit. "It's….It's you!" Then she leaped forward and wrapped her arms around the Easter Bunny's waist squeezing him with all her tiny might.

He didn't seem to mind the suffocation, because he merely smiled down at her and patted her back affectionately. "You still remember me then, huh?"

"Remember you?!" Sophie gasped, "You're one of the **first** memories I remember having! How come you never came back to see me like Jack does for Jamie?" she asked almost sounding betrayed. I never realized she had such strong feelings for her childhood memory.

The Easter Bunny's face fell and grew serious at the comment. He glanced up at Jack, who was standing alongside me, before returning his gaze to Sophie. "That's what we came here to talk about," he said before glancing up at North, "Let's get to it then, yeah?"

"Right!" North boomed, "Follow me!"

We walked down the open hallway, which was bordered by enormous paneled windows on one side, and panels of wood and parts of the mountain embedded on the other. Large burgundy curtains, matching those of the interior, hung from the windows and ran down to meet the paneled mahogany floor. Apparently being an immortal spirit gave you a love of time and money to decorate…

Once we reached the end of the hall, North ushered us all into a room that looked to be designed for a miniature United Nations meeting. A long, wooden table was stationed in the center of the room with a fireplace burning at the far end. To our right stood a raised platform that would have almost looked like a stage, if it weren't for the large window that stretched from floor to ceiling and bent in order to lean over the platform at an unusual angle.

Jack cleared his throat next to me, prompting me to follow him into a seat around the long table. Sophie taking a place next to me.

"So!" North boomed after taking his seat at the head of the table in front of the fireplace. "We come here to talk about Jamie and the others like him-"

"What?" I interjected suddenly at the implication. "There are others like-" But I was silenced by Jack's hand over my mouth.

"Yes," North said his tone growing more serious, "Two that we know of. You will probably meet them at some point."

So…there were more like me? Like me how, exactly? What was different about me apart from the fact I still believed in the Guardians? The thoughts buzzed around my head so much that it took me a moment to notice Sophie looking at me with a confused expression laced with concern.

"As I was saying," North continued, "Jamie, you are starting school next autumn, yes?"

I nodded my head in response and added, "At State."

"Ok," he continued, "So in meantime. We know that Jack cannot guard you during summertime. So, instead, we arrange to have you come here at night where you will be safe. At least for time being."

"So I have to sneak away every night?" I asked sincerely doubting how this little scheme of theirs would work.

"Yes," the burly man confirmed.

"But what about my mom?" I stated the obvious, "How can I sneak out every night before sunset without her noticing?"

"Sandy take care of that," North said gesturing toward the golden man who smiled at me confidently and nodded his head.

"But…how?" I asked, to which Sandy then starting forming a montage of symbols above his head, none of which answered my question.

Obviously noticing my confusion, the Toothfairy translated, "He says that he can also make people daydream. It's not something he does often, but in this case, he can make your mom believe she sees you in your room or asleep by casting his magic on your room."

"Which," North said turning his attention onto Sophie, "If your mother starts having a conversation with Jamie when he not there, you will have to go along with it."

"But why does Jamie have to go away?" she asked, bursting the cork on her bottled-up surge of questions as she stood up and leaned her hands on the table.

I patted her elbow to calm her and silently ask her to sit back down. That was when the Easter Bunny decided to chime in, "Jamie is one of few older believers. There are ancient creatures out there, who crave to destroy the light. And they will want to go after your brother."

Sophie's eyes grew wide and she looked first fearfully at me and then back at the Easter Bunny. "But can't you all fight them?" she asked.

"These ain't the Nightmares from the story you were told," he continued, "They are older than all of us. And we don't know exactly why they've revealed themselves now. But they seem to be followin' the demands of someone else."

"Pitch," I stated more than asked.

"We don't know for sure," the rabbit said as he frowned at me. "All we know is that we don't want them to get ya."

"So then you spend the nights here," North elaborated. "In summer, is always day here and you will be completely safe. The yetis and I will watch over you."

"But…" I said suddenly feeling disappointed, "What about you?" I asked turning to look at Jack.

He smiled and shrugged a little before saying, "I'll still be around. But there's another kid in the southern hemisphere that I'll have to watch over."

That really did disappoint me. I was really starting to get used to Jack being with me at night and it would feel really empty to not have him around anymore…

"But-" I started to protest, but the meeting room's door suddenly crashing open interrupted me.

"I canNOT believe that you started this whole fiasco without us?!" a dramatic voice entered into the room and as I looked over, I wasn't sure exactly what I was looking at.

There was one spirit who was very short, shorter than Sandy, who was dressed entirely in green and had curly red mop of hair. He appeared fairly young and was pretty well-built for someone so small. But then there was the spirit who had spoken, who had long, blonde hair and a very pretty face; however, while staring at it, I couldn't determine if I was looking at a man or a woman…

"Ronan! Cue!" North shouted before standing up and striding across the room to the spirits. The blonde spirit instantly changed tune and broke out into a humble smile before receiving the large man's massive bear hug.

The rest of the Guardians stood up from the table to greet the newly arrived couple; however, I noticed that the Easter Bunny remained sitting while shaking his head into his hand.

"Ohhh honey bunny," the blonde stated after greeting the others and noticing the rabbit's refusal to do the same, "Still too sore at me to say hello?" the spirit said coyly while leaning weight on one leg and biting a fingernail slightly.

"No Cue, ya know that's not it," the Easter Bunny said before standing as well and crossing his arms.

"Hm…" Cue smirked a little while raising an eyebrow but then glancing across the table at me. "I take it you must be the American?"

"Uh…yeah," I said walking around to join the others. "I'm Jamie," I said reaching out my hand to shake in all politeness. However, the Easter Bunny gently forced my arm down.

"I would avoid touchin' Cupid if I can help it mate," he warned.

"Cupid?" I asked looking at the blonde bombshell, who merely looked at me warmly and smirked playfully.

"No need to be so paranoid, Aster. It's not like I bite," Cupid said while winking at me.

"Come Jamie," North said grasping my shoulder, "I show you to your future room. Sophie can come too," he added while smiling warmly at my sister.

Sophie nervously walked around the table and spirits before standing next to North and I, who then proceeded to lead us out of the room.

"North, hang on!" I heard Jack call from behind us as he pushed through the group to escape into the hallway. "It's…uh...I think I should actually get you home now."

"What? Why?" I asked not wanting to leave yet.

"You'll be back tonight. I just was going to ask the Easter Buns to fix the whole 'tunnel shooting up into the sky' bit before he leaves," he said reminding me of that disaster waiting to happen. "Plus, I'm sure you've gotta get Sophie home…"

"Can I come back too?" she asked looking up at North imploringly.

North let out a loud, guttural laugh and said, "But of course, my dear. We arrange something soon. But no problem, Jack. I go get Bunny and tell him to meet you outside."

After gaining North's blessing and practically shoving us down the hall, we made it out of earshot to ask, "What's the hurry?"

"Nothing, nothing. Cupid's just a lot to take all at once, and it'll be better if you were prepared beforehand."

"What do you mean?" I asked as we stopped at the entrance we had originally come in at and I wrapped my scarf around my head. "Are they Guardians?"

Jack just let out a loud laugh and shook his head as he said, "Goodness no. The Leprechaun would be alright. But if you thought that Bunny hated the idea of **me** becoming a Guardian, Cupid would drive him absolutely **insane**."

"Why? What's wrong with….her?" I asked as Jack went to open the door, but paused.

" **That's** mistake number one," he said while pointing at me.

"What is?"

"Because Cupid is a shapeshifter. The appearance you saw today seems to be the default and most common, but Cupid can appear male, female, old, young, or any other variation ze wants."

"Ze?" I asked growing more confused.

"Yeah," Jack confirmed before elaborating, "Cupid also **hates** before referred to as the wrong gender depending on zis current form. And also, you're better off not settling on a certain image of zer. So…we just all found it better to go by the pronouns ze asked us to."

"Alright…" I said suddenly confused. That meant that Cupid could look like anyone…I guess that would make sense for the spirit of love. But why…

"Also," Jack added, "I would avoid touching Cue if you can."

"Why's that?"

"Because Cupid can see who you hold in your heart," he said looking at me more seriously before glancing down to Sophie, who was looking more confused than ever. "Let's get going," he said before opening the door.

"Will you promise to bring me back too, Jack?" she asked shivering in the biting cold of the frozen north as we trudged our way up the mountain stairs.

"North already promised, Sophie. If I don't keep to that promise, you can expect him to make me pay for it," he said rolling his eyes. However, my sister smiled up at him enthusiastically.

…

**~F~**

Soon enough, the Rabbitking had managed to escape from the family reunion and make his way out to us.

"Isn't there any way you can make it less of a roller coaster, oh Earthy one?" I implored while glancing down at the infinite darkness of the tunnel.

"Yeah, yeah," he stated while rubbing his arms against the cold and bending over the hole. "I just thought the kids would have a bit of fun during the ride. I thought you would have appreciated that," he said eyeing me coldly before diving into his tunnel.

I knew we had to wait there until he got back. Jamie pulled Sophie against him to shield her from the wind as she shivered.

"Here," I muttered before taking my staff and dragging it in a circle around the group. After completing the line, I knelt down on the ground and surged a stream of energy into the border I had created until we were encapsulated in a dome of ice.

"Wow…" Sophie gasped, her warm breath coming out in a small cloud. "Thanks Jack! This helps block the wind at least…"

"It's like the one you made that one night…" Jamie said in a low voice as he reached above him to touch the icy ceiling.

Remembering he was making a reference to the night he had first escaped the Fearlings, I just simply nodded at him in response.

"What did North mean by the 'others like me'?" he asked suddenly.

I looked up into his eyes and knew he wouldn't rest until I told him. "He…He just means that there are some like you. People that don't stop believing even after they get older…"

"Does that mean I'm going to forget too?" Sophie asked, panic ringing in her voice.

"I told you Sophie," Jamie said placing a hand on her shoulder, "Just don't forget to remember. And besides," he added smiling, "As long as you have me for a brother, I won't let you forget."

Sophie smiled up at him and he turned his attention back to me. "But why do only some people believe when they're older?"

"I…they…We don't really know Jamie..." I said shrugging my shoulders. But I breathed a sigh of relief as the Easter Kangaroo pulled himself out of the hole at that opportune moment.

"Alright, all fixed. You both can head back now. It'll slow you down before you reach the end enough so you can crawl out," he explained as he brushed dirt off his fur.

"Thanks Easter Bunny," Sophie said cheerfully as she walked over to it to peer inside.

"You can both just call me Bunny. Or Aster if you want," he said warmly to the girl.

However Jamie looked at me sadly and I knew that he didn't want to leave just yet.

"Will I see you tonight at least?" he asked me quietly.

I gave him a confident smile and replied, "Yeah, I'll be here all day waiting eagerly for you to come back."

He rolled his eyes at my sarcasm, but smiled nonetheless. "Alright…" he said looking up at me again before glancing at the Easter Rabbit. "I'll see you both later I guess…"

"Bye!" Sophie yelled before slamming herself into Bunny again. As irritated as he was having me anywhere around him, I knew he couldn't resist the joy he brought to the little girl. I noticed him smile and pat her back affectionately.

"See you soon, Sophie," he said before she let him go and made her way to the hole with Jamie not far behind her.

We both watched them disappear into the tunnel and I found myself lost in thought after they left.

"You've got it bad for the kid, don't ya mate?" Bunny suddenly said.

"What?!" I half-yelled in surprise while turning my head to look at him.

"I know it's hard to not get attached to your first believer, but…" he trailed off for a moment before adding, "With Jamie…you know it's better to personally not spend too much time with him."

"I know…"

"Has he shown any indication that he-"

" **No**." I stated firmly while glaring at him. "He's fine. I told all of you that I won't let anything happen to him."

Bunny looked surprised at my sudden directness, but then softened a little before saying, "I know ya won't, mate."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **One additional reason I took so long was this chapter gave me some writer's block.**
> 
> **So, please, any reviews/comments would be so incredibly appreciated.**
> 
> **I will continue updating until this is finished. I promise *hearts***


	14. Meet the Spirit of Love

Meet the Spirit of Love

**~B~**

Grappling to pull myself out of Bunny's hole for what seemed like the hundredth time, I brushed the snow off of my winter coat and turned to head down the steps that led to the entrance to North's factory. Although, I was secretly thankful that Bunny had gotten the kinks out of his transportation process. I would rather take a little dirt and snow on my jacket than being flung out in the open at terminal velocity any day. Once the opening drew closer the tunnel would slope gradually, slowing my speed, until I had to crawl and pull myself out.

After walking inside, I greeted Borgis the Yeti and continued on into the hallway that led to the quarters North had constructed for myself and the other believers. It was habitual at this point. So much so that the North Pole had lost a bit of its wonder for me, but only because being here meant that I didn't see Jack as often anymore. Once in a while, he would come by, but only to sprinkle sand in my eyes and make sure I was asleep. Hopefully now that it was transitioning into autumn, I'd be able to stay where I was and he could stay with me like he used to.

I opened the door to my quarters mentally exhausted and ready to sleep. Ever since I started college, I felt overworked and overstressed. And unlike my friends, I didn't even get to go out at night.

"Hey there, Jamie," a voice rang from inside, causing me to look up in surprise.

"Cue?" I exclaimed as Cupid was the last person I expected to see in my quarters. Granted, it wasn't technically mine. There were several beds placed in here to house any of the believers that needed to stay here.

But I hadn't seen Cupid since my first encounter with zim several months ago. As usual ze was wearing some crazy fashion of the week and zer white-blonde hair rained messily down past zer shoulders.

"Well don't look so surprised to see me," Cupid retorted making me realize that the shock had lingered too long on my face. "You're not the only ward who resides here."

As if she was being summoned, Rei strolled out of the adjoined bathroom tying back her long, black hair. She was dressed for the day, since she lived in Japan and her days were opposite of mine.

Her almond eyes brightened upon seeing me and she exclaimed, "Hi Jamie!"

"Hi Rei…" I said as I watched her pack her overnight bag. I glanced briefly at Cue before stating, "I didn't know Cue was your Guardian-"

"Ah. Ah. Not technically a Guardian," Cue corrected me while raising a finger. "But we're normally gone by the time you arrive."

"And Cue does not always come to escort me back," Rei added while gesturing back to the freakishly tall spirit. "Only because autumn is here and it's darker now."

"Right…" I said remembering with disdain that the days have been growing shorter. I haven't had the ability to hang out with my friends as much, since I've had to leave earlier to come here.

As Rei was continuing to pack up her things, she looked up across the room and asked politely, "Hey Cue, can you hand me the book I left on the desk?"

I looked to my right to see the desk and in an effort to be helpful, I took two steps over to pick up the book and hand it over to Cue.

Cue smiled kindly at me and reached out to take it, but while doing so, zer fingers briefly brushed against mine and I felt a faint static shock.

Retracting my hand, I looked up in surprise and saw as a slight smirk drew up a corner of zer mouth.

"Sorry about that," ze uttered in a low tone as zer startling blue eyes flashed up to meet my own.

Then as quickly as the exchange took place, ze just as quickly turned and walked the book over to Rei, who smiled and thanked the radiant spirit before shoving the book into her backpack, obviously not taking any notice of the odd interaction even occurring.

"Well, I best get going," Rei stated as she slung her book bag over her shoulder and picked up her small duffel bag in the shape of a kitten's face.

She walked away from her bed and into the aisle to leave. Cupid gently placed a hand on her back and escorted her out. "See ya Jamie," Rei exclaimed as they walked past. However, Cue never met my gaze, and instead held that faint smirk as ze strolled by.

"Bye…" I said uncertainly.

…

…

**~F~**

For the first time in...forever…I felt…overworked.

On top of having to do my job, I had to babysit Andy the Aussie every night and then promptly whisk across the planet to visit Jamie. I couldn't always make it. North or one of the Yetis would have to put him to sleep in my place. But, thankfully, the seasons were changing and I could return to just having Jamie as my ward while Andy whisked his butt to the North Pole.

That's not to say I disliked Andy in any way. He was alright. Creative. Wanted to be a pilot. Had a thing for Legos. It's just that I already had a lot to do before he came into the picture. And on top of that, I had promised Jamie I'd visit him.

But I arrived too late, not even getting to briefly say hi to him. By the time I rushed in, he was already fast asleep in the dormitory.

Dragging myself out of the room feeling utterly deflated, I quietly clicked the door shut behind me and collapsed into one of the window nooks that lined the remote hallway. North had added the dormitory to this addition, since it was secluded and far away from the cacophony of noise the workshop made…mostly due to the elves flipping out and causing something to crash or explode. To this day, I have no idea why North keeps them around.

The sun hung low on the Arctic horizon. It wouldn't set…not quite yet. Even during the winter, the North Pole would remain secure. There was enough light and magic locked away here to fight an army…which we weren't sure whether it would eventually come down to that.

I exhaled deeply and rested my forehead against my knees. I didn't want it to come down to that. I wasn't even alive as a human the last time the other Guardians waged war against the Fearlings. I don't even think North was alive…

Either way, it was something we wanted to prevent at all costs. Sandy said the best way to do so was to protect the older believers at all costs. If the Fearlings got a hold of them then-

Suddenly, I heard the dormitory door creak open to see Jamie step out. He was dressed in his regular clothes instead of his pajamas as I had expected.

"Jamie…how are you awake?" I asked in utter confusion, since the dream sand made it nearly impossible to wake up.

He yawned widely and scratched the back of his head as he said a tired voice, "I was never actually asleep. I was trying to wait for you." Then he smiled at me kindly and walked over before sitting down next to me on the padded window seat.

"You shouldn't do that…" I responded half-heartedly. Part of me was extremely flattered that he wanted so badly to see me, the other was worried of what would happen if he fell asleep without the dream sand.

"Yeah…but I wanted to," he muttered before looking down at his lap and smiling slightly. Then he glanced back up to me and said, "Did you want to go for a walk in the caves?"

"You should really get to bed, Jamie…" I said, albeit even I heard the hesitation in my own voice. I missed him. I missed spending actual time with him, like we used to.

"It's Saturday tomorrow," he pointed out. "I can sleep in as long as I want to."

Watching him for a long minute, I finally sighed and gave in.

"Yeah, alright."

…

…

I waited a minute for Jamie to grab his coat and then we walked out to the entrance we normally came through before entering the caves immediately beyond them.

"Here, follow me," I said before leading him off a path to the right and through a narrow tunnel.

"I already know about this place," Jamie said as he pressed himself against the ice wall to shimmy his way along the passageway.

"How?" I asked curiously while looking back at him following me. There was still plenty of light that shone through the cave from the outside. Intermittently in the ceiling would be a hole that cast a steady beam of sunlight, which refracted off the ice to reflect around most of the stony, icy interior.

"Because sometimes I don't always go right to bed," he stated mischievously while grinning over to me.

I smirked back at his comment before continuing to squeeze myself through the tunnel. It wasn't long before it broke open into a flat expanse. Jamie pulled himself out right behind me before releasing a sigh of relief.

"You alright?" I asked grinning at him.

"Oh yeah," he replied nonchalantly. "It's just a little easier for you since you're smaller."

I shot a wave of snow dust at him before walking off across the rough, icy expanse. Despite that, I still heard him chuckle and follow behind me.

At the edge of the expanse was a sharp drop off that revealed an immense cavity of icy cliffs. This place was another of my favorites, since the holes in the ceiling were smaller and more frequent. They speckled in light that refracted off of everything in thin beams and created small pools of color against the icy cliffs.

Jamie stopped alongside me and sighed in content. Then he plopped down on the cold stone and lay down to gaze at the ceiling with his arms folded up to support his head.

Deciding to follow his lead, I sat down cross-legged next to him and laid my staff next to me.

"I'm glad you waited for me," I admitted honestly. "I feel like I've barely seen you all summer."

"Yeah, I was starting to figure you liked this Andy kid more than me," he jested while smiling broadly at the ceiling.

"Oh shut it," I laughed, "I already told you you were my favorite kid."

"So you **did** miss me after all," he said while suddenly sitting up and leaning toward me with that smug grin on his face.

At first I didn't want to answer him. Didn't want to give into his pride. But the truth was that I did miss him quite a bit. Time didn't seem to exist when I was with him. I could sit next to him all night while he slept and feel as though only seconds had passed. Whereas anytime I was away, I found myself constantly calculating when I'd see him again.

"Yeah, fine," I murmured, "I **did** miss you."

"Heh," he puffed, "Not sure I believe you…"

_Geh he's annoying sometimes…_

My forehead wrinkled at his admission of doubt. But then I realized he was just toying with me. Trying to egg me on.

Snickering once, I dropped my head and rubbed my lips together. I knew what he wanted at this point. What he always wanted, even though he would never ask for it.

Before my own thoughts could intervene, I leaned up into him and connected my lips with his. He flinched at first, but then relaxed into me, his breath steaming across my face in the icy cold. I could tell he didn't actually expect me to do it. I didn't even expect myself to do it.

My thoughts fell silent. The only thing I focused on was him. On feeling his lips pressing gently against mine. It was soft…carefree. I didn't feel like I did before. Maybe because I started it…

My curiosity getting the better of me, I licked his upper lip teasingly before nipping the other and tracing my tongue along it. Jamie instantly tilted his head and opened his mouth, inviting me to him. Pushing against him, my tongue danced with his, twisting and sliding as he welcomed me eagerly. His eyes were closed and he sighed deeply as I slowly traced his tongue with my own. Then I felt him reach up to hold my neck before pulling me into him as if urging me to be closer. He leaned backwards and I followed suit, supporting myself over him as I continued to explore his mouth. I felt a fire burn in my chest that was unfamiliar to me. Not like before…I liked it.

Fire…

Wait a minute.

Wrenching myself up on my hands and studying him closely, my suspicion fully came into focus.

Jamie was cold…Even if his skin would be chilled by the outside temperature, his mouth wouldn't be.

Shoving myself up and grabbing my staff, I swung it to fling an icicle at the imposter and jumped several feet back.

"AH! Hang on a sec!" the imposter yelled while dodging my icicle at an unnatural speed and leaping away. As I suspected, the figure of Jamie had vanished and in its place stood Cupid, with zer long hair heavily mussed and still wearing Jamie's clothes.

I didn't want to hear it. Swinging my staff around, I sprung into the torc and launched several more pointed icicles and a whirlwind of snow at zim before landing on my toe just enough to plant my staff in the ground and leap high into the air.

But the moment I did, I realized that Cupid had vanished.

Letting myself fall to the ground, I rested crouched, listening, both hands clutching my staff.

"Can you just hear me out?"

Whipping around and shooting an array of ice shards at the direction of the voice, I realized that ze was not there. Cupid was really fast…

Jumping backwards until my back met the wall so ze couldn't sneak up on me again, I stood semi-crouched in a ready stance.

A high-pitched whizzing met my ear and before I knew what had happened, two arrows had flown toward me and pierced my shirt above the shoulders and at my upper arms to nail me into the rock wall.

Using what limited mobility I had, I raised my staff to aim in the direction the arrows came from, but another arrow grabbed my sleeve to restrain my hand by my shirtsleeve, with another quickly following to trap the other against the rock wall the second after I moved it.

Furiously panting, I tried to wrestle myself free, pulling my body from the wall as hard as I could…

"Oh come on Jack…Do you really think you can beat me? I **am** older than you after all…" Cupid sneered as ze walked forward from behind a small outcrop.

With my mouth pressed into a hard line, I glared at zim as ze approached. Being dressed in Jamie's clothes, ze looked more masculine than feminine. But that could also be very well due to zer ability to change face.

Cupid walked up to me with an apologetic smile on zer face and asked condescendingly, "If I release you, will you promise to hear me out?"

Despite wanting to shove an icicle through zim, I didn't want to keep feeling like an animal in a hunter's trap.

Without relaxing my glare, I nodded my head slowly. Cupid then snapped zer fingers and the black arrows dissolved into the air as if never having existed in the first place. I stood up straight to face the deceptive fraud.

Cupid watched me with a blank expression, as if studying me, then ze suddenly said, "The boy really loves you, you know?"

I breathed angrily through my nose for a few seconds, not feeling like Cupid deserved an answer from me. But I decided to add stiffly, "He's told me."

"But-" ze started to say.

However I interrupted, "Where is he?" I growled.

Cupid suddenly looked surprised at my accusation and responded, "Asleep under the dream sand. Just like you saw him. You…You don't actually think I would hurt him, do you?"

"Suddenly I don't know what you are capable of."

"Oh come on, Jack," Cue replied casually as if they were old friends goofing around. "I'm the spirit of love. I wouldn't do something like-"

"WHY did you BRING me here?!" I yelled unable to hold it back any longer. I wanted to wipe the floor with Cue. I knew I couldn't kill zim, I just wanted to fight zim. I wanted zim to feel as humiliated as I felt.

But Cupid didn't answer at first. Ze just stared at me blankly as if waiting for me to calm down, which wasn't about to happen. The rage still boiled underneath my skin despite zim waiting.

"To talk," ze answered simply.

I almost laughed out of astonishment. " **That's** your idea of talking?"

"Eh…no…" ze said as ze reached up to scratch the back of zer head out of humility. "But I will admit that you are a better kisser than you give yourself credit for," ze added while laughing a little.

Great. Since I let my guard down around Cupid, ze probably knows everything about me. Or…actually I wasn't sure how Cupid's power worked…I hoped that ze didn't know that much…

"What do you want?" I repeated, the anger still evident in my tone.

"Jamie **loves** you, Jack," ze reiterated as zer mouth fell into a small frown. "I don't intervene unless I think it's important…But we both know you love him back."

"It can't work, Cue," I firmly stated while letting one hand go of my staff and standing it up alongside me.

"Why did you kiss him then?"

"I didn't," I argued stubbornly. "I kissed **you** because **you** made me." Cupid was the spirit of love, who knew what tricks ze had up zer sleeve.

"No I didn't," Cupid parried while resting zer hands in zer pockets. "That was all you. I didn't even know you were going to do that based on Jamie's memories of you."

"Don't you **dare** touch him again," I growled again as I clenched my fist at my side. It made me livid to think that Cupid had seen all of Jamie's thoughts and memories of him and me.

"Ooooh, did I really make you that mad?" Cupid chirped as that smug smile returned to zer face and I felt the magic tingle at my fingertips, just itching for me to relinquish it on this cretin.

But then Cupid's face grew serious again as ze added softly, "You're more human than you give yourself credit for, Jack."

"What?" I found myself bursting the thought out loud.

"You're afraid to get close to Jamie because you don't believe yourself to be like him."

"No," I argued angrily that Cupid had the gull to psychoanalyze me. "I can't get close to him because I'm his **Guardian**."

"Oh please," Cupid laughed once before adding, "Like that has ever stopped any of them before."

It took me a few moments to realize what ze meant. But out of the need to hear zim explain, I asked, "What do you mean?"

"Look," Cupid said firmly, "Don't worry about them. What Jamie feels for you is genuine and it's beautiful. I would rather shoot myself in the foot than see him suffer because you chose to ignore him out of personal insecurity."

"I wouldn't mind seeing it," I snarked in reference to zim shooting zimself in the foot.

Cupid grinned at me again. "I'm sorry for tricking you and letting you kiss me while believing me to be Jamie."

I couldn't say that I forgave zim, but I still appreciated the apology nonetheless.

"However," ze added while a small smirk drew up the corner of zer lips, "I could feel your thoughts and emotions during all of that. That's how I know you're more human than you think you are."

And with that, ze winked at me and turned zer back to me as ze swaggered away. "I'm going to leave Jamie's clothes back in his room. I promise I won't meddle like this again."

And then in the blink of an eye, ze was gone.

…

…

**~M~**

Urgh…I hated studying. We were all currently huddled up around the tables in the dorm's common room trying to be responsible and most of our work done so we could go out tonight with a clear conscience. A friend of ours was having a party at his house and invited all of us. And even though it was Saturday, I generally found it harder to have fun when I was constantly thinking of all the work I had to do. It was also easier for all of us to focus in the common room, where most people came to do work, because normally we would revert to playing video games in our living room. Today wasn't as crowded as usual, since not as many people studied on Saturday. But there was still a decent amount here to not make us feel like complete losers. Although, the common room did get warm since the heaters started to kick on. We had to open a window and let some of it out. Fortunately, we at least had a decent view of the sunset falling toward the distant treeline.

I glanced up at Jamie to see him with his side to the table and resting his legs on another chair in front of him while holding out a small paperback to read. I already knew ahead of time that he wasn't coming out with us. He always went straight to bed since we started school. Earlier on he would stay out with us for a little while, but he'd always come up with an excuse to head back early. Eventually, I tried to pry the truth out of him, since I noticed him acting strange ever since he and Pippa broke up last year. He told me that he was on medication that caused him to feel exceedingly drowsy after taking it.

A tremendous part of me suspected that was bullshit. But I never tried to question him further about it. It wouldn't surprise me that he was taking pills for something, after all, he was really broken up after Pippa. And really, if he didn't want to tell me then it was none of my business.

"Hey Monty," our flatmate Tyler asked, "Did you figure out the fourth problem yet?"

"Uh…yeah. Let me see what you did," I said before reaching over and taking Tyler's notes from him. Tyler wasn't the brightest, but he did try. Our other flatmate was Ashley, which made me really happy. It actually worked out that Jamie and I were able to pair up with him in the newly built dormitory. Everyone who lived there was grouped together with three other people, who each had their own small bedroom and a conjoined bathroom, but each grouping all shared the same living area. Still…as far as dorms go, it was very nice. At least we didn't have to share a cramped room with a roommate.

After taking Tyler's paper, I started to proofread the math problem and see where he got stuck.

"Here," I said as I rotated the paper to face him and pointed at the offending line, "You forgot to-"

"WHAT?" Jamie suddenly shouted as he crashed backwards out of his chair and onto the floor. He lay there dazed for a minute staring blankly in front of him, before snapping out of it and realizing that we and everyone else in the common room were staring at him.

"Jamie…are you alright?" I asked him suddenly concerned about needing to treat him for a seizure.

Shaking a little, he pushed himself forward before attempting to stand while using an arm to support his weight on the table. "Y-yeah…" he stuttered. "I…must have fallen asleep for a second." Then he turned his head and stared like a deer in the headlights at nothing in particular.

"Jamie." I repeated firmly while trying to get his attention. He turned his head to look at me still maintaining the shocked look on his face.

"You **sure** you're ok?" I reiterated now questioning his sanity.

"I'm fine." he said suddenly more sure of himself. "But I'm going to head back," he declared as he sloppily gathered everything he brought in a pile to pick up. "Gotta…go to sleep," he added and I knew that meant he was going to take his medicine and be out of commission for the rest of the night.

"Alright…" I said as I watched him awkwardly pick up his stack of stuff and grab his backpack. "Do you need anything?"

"Nope," he replied curtly. "I'll be fine. I'll just see you guys in the morning."

And with that he briskly strode out of the common area and turned to head up the stairs.

"What the fuck was that about?" Ashley asked as perplexed as I was.

I stared off at the steps for a second before responding, "I have no idea…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Wooo baby. What's going to happen next? xD**
> 
> **I'm excited.**
> 
> **Are you?**
> 
> **Leave me a review and let me know!**
> 
> **Actually evakname's review gave me the motivation to leave the procrastination station.**
> 
> **So reviews will bring a promptly posted chapter this time around *dramatic wink***


	15. Our First Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Finally! I wrote it!**
> 
> **OMG is it not what you've been waiting for?!**
> 
> **Slow build is slow...**
> 
> **WARNING: This chapter contains sexual language.**
> 
> **If you aren't comfortable with it, then skip when prompted.**

Our First Night

**~B~**

Oh my God, I was so tired…I had been sitting with my roommates in the study lounge for over four hours and I had barely made a dent in the novel I was required to read. A huge part of me wanted to be dishonest and just look up synopsizes of Tolstoy online but…I figured I should at least give it a shot before giving up.

And give it a shot I did. I tried taking notes on all the characters, every last goddamn one of them. But then I gave up soon after I realized that they would disappear without a trace. It also didn't help that my mind would constantly drift off while my eyes followed the words on the page. Although…I couldn't help it. I was getting impatient. It was about that time when I would have to sneak into the basement to jump into Bunny's tunnel. And even despite being disappointed time and again, I always hoped that Jack could make it back in time tonight. I missed him…even if I had to settle for hardly ever seeing him, for having to avoid talking about him to anyone else in my life or else risk people thinking I'm insane, and for accepting that no matter how I felt I would have to settle for all of this. Because not being able to see him would be worse, I -

"Jamie!"

_Huh?_

I looked up from my book toward the large, slightly ajar window to see the tufty-haired frost spirit soar in, leaping across the room in seconds before landing on my lap nearly pushing me backwards.

I could only stare at him in surprise. Not that I wasn't happy to see him, but I didn't expect him to come all the way here. What was he…?

And with a voice and expression of deadpan seriousness, he said, "Let's do it, let's have sex."

"WHAT?" I yelled as I went to shove him off of me, but instead toppled backwards onto the floor.

Quickly pushing myself up onto my forearms, he crouched in front of me with a deeply confused expression and asked, "What's wrong? I thought that was what you wanted…"

"Jamie…are you alright?" Monty asked as he leaned across the table to look at me. Quickly glancing around, I realized that everyone in the study lounge was staring at me for having such a wild outburst.

"Y-yeah," I said trying to keep my voice at a normal volume and pitch while using the table to push myself up. "I must have fallen asleep for a second."

"Jamie?" Jack tentatively said my name and I turned back to look at him in complete disbelief as I tried to process what he said.

What could I say to **that**? Not that I could say anything even if I wanted seeing how everyone in the study lounge had their gaze practically glued to me. What the hell was he-

"Jamie." Monty repeated more firmly and reminding me ever more of how inceptionally humiliating the whole situation was. I looked back up at him and he repeated, "You **sure** you're ok?"

"I'm fine," I declared quickly as I pulled myself up to a standing position. "But I'm going to head back," I stated while gathering up my books and papers into a pile. Noticing that they were all still staring at me I added, "Gotta…go to sleep." My roommates at least knew that meant I was going to take my 'medication' that caused me to become incapacitated for the night.

"Alright…" Monty muttered hesitantly while he eyed me pick up the rest of my things. "Do you need anything?" he pressed and I knew he was asking if I needed additional psychological attention.

"Nope," I curtly replied. "I'll be fine. I'll just see you guys in the morning."

And with that I turned and hooked a finger into Jack's sleeve and dragged him out of the common area and to the staircase.

"Jamie?"… "Jamie." … "Jaaaammmieeeeeee." … "JAMIE!"

But I kept my lips sealed and my gaze focused in front of me, despite Jack constantly calling my name all the way down the hall. The last thing I needed was to be overheard talking to an invisible person soliciting me for sex.

After unlocking my dorm room door, I dropped my bag and stuff on the floor before dragging him by the arm into my bedroom and shutting the door.

"What the hell are you going on ab-?" I started to unleash before he interrupted me by throwing himself against me, crushing his lips against mine and completely shocking me into compliance.

Once my brain kicked into gear I shoved him back by the shoulders exclaiming, "Whoa, WAIT!" Then while covering his mouth with my hand, I inadvertently stuttered, "W-w-w-what is this all of a sudden?"

He shoved my hand away and answered almost sounding annoyed, "Jamie! I **told** you, let's have sex. Right now," he added as he reached for my belt as if to start unfastening it.

"I said **wait** ," I emphasized as I grabbed his wrists and held them at his sides. "What the hell is with you all of a sudden? Are you going through some mid-immortal-life crisis or something?"

Nothing he was doing made sense. He would tense up if I so much as hugged him, he'd whack my head if I kissed him without asking him first, and now out of the blue he wants to have sex with me?

"No I'm not having a **crisis** ," he replied bitingly, but then his expression instantly softened and he avoided my eyes as he said, "I just realized last summer…not seeing you…time goes on forever when I'm not with you. And…I want you to stay with me. I want to make you happy…"

_What did he mean by that?_

"Y-y-yeah, but you don't have to do **that** if you really don't want to, idiot!" I called out in embarrassment, stepping back and turning my head realizing my cheeks felt warm.

"But I **do** want to."

"You told me you didn't feel stuff like this," I said frowning a little remembering too well the time when he said he couldn't feel human enough to have feelings for me.

"Well..." he shrugged, "Maybe I will…Won't know until I try, right?"

I looked up to stare at him skeptically for a minute. This seemed like a significant change of heart for him to have all of a sudden. But if he wanted to…

Scooping him up underneath the knees, taking him by such surprise that he wrapped his arms around my neck, I dropped him gently on the bed before pulling off my shirt.

"You sure you're not going to change your mind?" I asked in all seriousness as I let my shirt fall onto the floor.

"Positive."

"Good," I murmured as I climbed on top of him and brought my lips close to his, "Because I really don't want to be thrown across the room again."

Without restraint, I enveloped his lips with my own this time and breathed in deeply, relishing in every bit of his scent. Only when I could be this close to him was I able to fully smell it, because it was different than other people's. Crisp almost…like the winter wind. I had missed it…

To my pleasant surprise, I felt as he actually kissed me back this time. Tilting his head to the side, he pushed up into me, grasping the backs of my bare shoulders with his hands, as he playfully bit onto my lip and held on. I opened my eyes slightly to see him looking back with a mischievous twinkle that I had never seen before. He let go, smirking at me a little, before leaning up to lick my upper lip, almost as if taunting me. I couldn't resist him if I tried.

Accepting his dare, I pushed into him with more passion. He had never been this open before, and even though the thought crossed my mind that he could be faking it all, I stopped caring all of a sudden. He was giving himself to me…and I couldn't stop myself from wanting to take him. I opened my mouth and traced my tongue slowly across his lip, causing him to let out soft whimpers that only served to drive me to the brink of my self-control.

He opened his mouth and met my tongue with unrestrained eagerness, making the kiss sloppier than previous ones. While I was elated to feel his enthusiasm, a part of me still questioned it. I hoped he would cherish it as much as I was. Feel the same way I felt. Because I never expected this to happen, despite having fantasized about it a lot. In my dreams, I would ravish Jack in every way imaginable, now however, I wasn't as sure. All I knew was that I wanted to take him in and experience everything to its fullest.

In an effort to slow things down, I met his tongue with my own and slowly slid it along his. He breathed in deeply and returned the gesture, making me groan a little at the intimate feeling. Reaching a hand up, I slid my fingers through his hair and traced small circles into his scalp in rhythm with our tongue movements. Either he was a naturally good kisser or a really quick learner, part of me prayed for the latter.

Pulling away a little for the sake of oxygen, I opened my eyes to meet his serene gaze. I breathed a sigh of relief seeing no amount of fear or hesitation there like I had before. Maybe he really did want this.

"Jamie?" he murmured softly before reaching up to hold onto my hand. "You're shaking."

My eyes widened before I quickly averted my gaze and retracted my hand from his cheek. "I'm…" I struggled to formulate, "I'm just nervous. I've thought about this for a long time, but never expected you to…" I felt his body shake a little, causing me to catch his gaze again and see that he was laughing. "What's so funny?" I asked a little annoyed that he had the gull to laugh when I was being completely honest with him.

Shaking his head a little he simply replied, "Nothing."

"What?" I demanded to know.

"Just don't worry about me," he said while smiling kindly up at me. "I'll be fine. As long as it's with you, I'll be fine."

Biting my lip and swallowing heavily, I tried to calm my anxiety. Leaning down to kiss him again, we pressed our lips against one another's, absorbing each other's taste. He tasted…sweet. I felt myself get more excited at the thought of what the rest of him tasted like…

My curiosity growing, I reached down to slide a hand underneath his sweatshirt, feeling his stomach tense from the soft touch. Gently gracing my fingertips up his torso, kissing down to his neck as I went. Jack turned his head to the side, leaving the soft skin vulnerable, which I took as an open invitation.

Gently biting onto his neck, I stroked along his chest, letting my index finger dance around one of his nipples in a teasing circular fashion. I felt his breathing hitch and I looked up to see his brow was furrowed. Did he not like it?

Pushing my previous boundaries, I decided to lick up the frost spirit's neck while twirling the small nub between two of my fingers. While continuing the action, I dragged my tongue up to his ear and latched onto the small lobe, slowly flicking it with my tongue while breathing small puffs into his ear. I felt as his whole body started to tremble, from which I couldn't discern an answer. Deciding to fully test my theory, I pressed my lower half into his to feel if he was anywhere near as turned on as I was. To my surprise, he was.

Oh my God…he wasn't faking it after all.

Growing more eager at this sudden realization, I rubbed my hips against his only to have him release a series of small gasps and to grasp onto the backs of my arms, his fingertips growing icy against my bare skin. I couldn't wait to feel more of him…

Trailing my lips down his neck and pushing myself backwards so as to kiss down his stomach, I stopped at the hem of his pants and bit into the smooth flesh while grasping his waist. I glanced up to check on him and felt my chest grow warm at the sight of him. His head was still tilted to the side, but his eyes were watching me in anticipation, and his sweatshirt was pushed up exposing his heavily panting chest. I didn't think I had ever seen him look sexy before…but I wanted to burn that image into my memory forever. I could only hope that I'd be able to keep control of myself.

While swirling my tongue around his bellybutton, I carefully undid the tie that held his pants to his hips before leaning up and pulling them off of him. He raised his hips and moved his legs to help me fully strip him, his erection springing free from its previous restraints.

Resisting the sudden urge to jump the gun, I slowly leaned back down and planted soft kisses along his stomach and down his thighs before leading back up to gently suck on the skin inside of his hip bone. I glanced up again to see him grasping the sheets by his head with his eyes firmly pressed shut. He was anticipating what it would feel like…He has probably never felt anything like this in centuries, if not ever. I realized that I had never asked him if he had experience doing these kinds of things…Did he even know what we would be doing? As two guys?

I mean…it wasn't like I had no experience. I had had sex with Pippa…it wouldn't be too different…except for…

* * *

**[WARNING]**

**SCROLL DOWN IF TOO GRAPHIC**

* * *

Deciding to take the first plunge, I carefully wrapped my lips around the tip of his erection just to see his react-

"AAHHa!"

The moan seemed to be torn somewhere from the depth of his very soul, causing me to look up at him in shock.

An identical look of surprise hung in his eyes as he had clasped his hand over his own mouth as if to prevent any additional sound from escaping. Then once he realized I had noticed his outburst, a silver blush stained his cheeks and he broke into a chain of apologies.

"I'm- I'm- I'm s-s-s-orry! I d-didn't mean for th-that t-to happen! It- It's just th-there's something…everything feels w-weird a-and…"

My shock quickly melted into warm affection and I smiled at him while removing his hand from his mouth.

"You're so cute, Jack," I said while kissing his hand, "Let me hear you more?"

His cheeks couldn't have held any more silver after hearing my desire to hear his voice. Not even giving him the chance to object, I leaned back down and took all of him into my mouth.

"Ah-n! Nhm…AH!" he cried out, holding onto one of my shoulders as his pelvis involuntarily shivered and occasionally jolted as I took him deeper into my mouth, lips slurping and popping as I heatedly devoured every inch of him.

…

**~F~**

_huff huff huff_

I was panting and moaning so erratically that I felt like I was drowning. But it couldn't be…I was also on fire, albeit it was an addicting fire. I didn't want it to stop. I wanted him to keep touching me, keep making me feel…

I heard a small click and some rummaging off to the side and I opened my eyes to see Jaime pulling a bottle out of his nightstand. What was…

"Jack, I'm going to need you to relax," he said gently as he squeezed a line onto two of his fingers.

My eyes widened as I watched him, but suddenly found myself unable to speak. Dropping the bottle off to the side, Jamie leaned forward, pushing one of my thighs up and off to side effectively spreading my legs.

"B-but…" I started to stutter suddenly feeling unsure.

"Just relax…" he whispered before rubbing his fingers against my cleft. I scrunched my eyes closed again, but…the feeling wasn't so bad…

"NGH-!" I grunted as I suddenly heard a soft squelch and felt as I was stretched in ways I hadn't felt before.

His hand firmly held my thigh up as his fingers slowly pushed into me, causing my body to violently tremble.

_huff huff_ "AH…Ja…mie!" I groaned as I leaned up on my elbows. My panting had increased again and in between gasps, I opened my eyes to see him breathing heavily while concentrating on what he was doing. His intense focus on my lower regions caused the blush to return to my cheeks. My heart was thumping like mad…I didn't…

"EE—AH!" I cried out as his fingers slid out and were quickly pushed back in. "Feels…weird…" I murmured as the sensation was so alien to me. The friction stung and I wasn't sure I was used to it…

"Hya!" I gasped as he quickly pulled his fingers out of me.

"I can't…" he uttered softly as he leaned up on his knees and unfastened his belt. My eyes only widened once he pulled out his own erection and stroked it to fully encourage it.

"J-Jaime…h-hold— Mmph!" I grunted as he pushed my thigh back, raising my hip, and aligning himself with my entrance. "Jamie!" I called out, but before I could tell him to stop, he fully thrust himself into me effectively splitting my body in two.

My mouth opened in a silent scream and tears gathered at the corners of my eyes as the pain exploded across my pelvis and up my spine. It seared into me like nothing I had ever felt before. Was this what sex felt like?

He wrapped his arms under my knees to hold my hips up as he continued to thrust into me, gasping and called out my name again and again as his enthusiasm grew. My hands clawed at the sheets by my waist as I cried out against each painful thrust.

But despite all of the pain…the one thing that was clear to me…

"Hnnph!" I grunted as he gave one final shove before collapsing against my chest and wrapping his arms under my neck.

"Jack…I love you…" he murmured softly. "I love you **so** much…"

At that moment, I didn't know if the tears that fell from my eyes were from pain or happiness…but the one thing that was clear to me was that I loved him too.

…

**~B~**

Damn…I had finished a lot faster than I had meant to…I didn't feel Jack finish…I didn't know if Jack could finish…

Leaning up to look at his face, I saw instantly that tears had collected at the corners of his eyes and some had already spilled over and down his cheeks.

"Oh my God, Jack!" I called suddenly as I pulled out of him ignoring the squelching sound as I did so. I leaned up over him and asked alarmed, "Are you ok?!"

* * *

**[RESUME]**

..

To my surprise, he rested a hand upon his forehead and a pained grin spread across his face as he started to chuckle.

"Jack…what's…-"

"That **hurt** ," he stated mid-laugh, "That hurt **so** much…" he added weakly.

I couldn't have been more unsure of what to do in that exact moment. I didn't know whether to comfort him or laugh with him, but my brain seemed to have settled on freaking out.

"Jack! I am so sorry! I should have gone slower! I should have…"

"Jamie, **stop**!" he said still laughing softly, "You don't understand…"

"What the **hell** is that supposed to mean?" I asked completely baffled, "I didn't mean to hurt you at all! I should have-"

"No, no, Jamie…it's ok."

"No! It's not ok! It's my fault! I-"

But then he quickly sat up, flinching heavily in on himself in the abrupt change of position, before taking my face in his hands and pulling me in to kiss him. After a moment, he let me go and gingerly laid himself back down as he wiped his eyes with his arm.

"You don't understand because I haven't felt like that in…I can't even remember…"

"But I hurt you," I argued as the guilt continued to seep in.

He looked at me eyes shining as he added, "Yeah, but, I told you that I can barely feel **anything**. All the time I'm usually…numb. You made me feel…you made me feel human again."

I stared at him totally dumbfounded. Despite his warm smile, the guilt that oozed into my mind wouldn't go away.

"I'll be right back," I said as I stood up and fastened by belt. Quickly walking into the attached bathroom, I turned on the faucet to draw him a bath. He had warmed up considerably more than usual and would probably appreciate the cold soak for multiple reasons…

After the tub was filled, I turned off the water and turned to get him. I hesitated a little at the door, still feeling horrible for hurting him. Even if he was for some insane reason happy about it.

Turning the knob, I walked into my bedroom to see him lying on his side in bed.

"Jack?" I asked hesitantly, "I…I drew you a bath…maybe it'll help you feel a little better."

He smiled a little at the thought and carefully pushed himself up, but quickly flinching once he straightened too much. Feeling worse at how much pain I had caused him, I walked over and scooped him up bridal style with the sheet and everything.

"What're you-?!" he asked in surprise as I held him to my chest, his legs dangling over my arm. "Let go of me!" he quickly protested as he started squirming in a feeble attempt at escaping.

"Jack, come on…" I grunted as he struggled.

"I'm not a child!" he complained as his squirming escalated to thrashing. "Put me DOWN!" he yelled as he had somehow grabbed his staff and whacked me upside the head with it, causing me to drop him as I reflexively tried to block additional blows.

"Ow…" I squinted as I rubbed my aching skull. But then I looked down to see Jack kneeling, legs splayed in a tangle of sheets on the ground as he struggled to push himself up.

"Wha- What is this?" he asked himself in horror, "My legs feel like rubber!"

"It's probably because you used muscles you weren't used to using," I said frowning down at him as my self-hate continued to increase. "Now will you **please** just let me help you? I feel bad enough already…"

He turned and looked up at me in surprise, as if he didn't realize that I felt that way. Resigning himself to my charity, he turned his head to avert his gaze while reaching up with his arms like a toddler asking to be picked up.

A little bemused by how adorable he looked, but grateful all the same, I reached down to scoop him up again and carry him into the bathroom before setting him down on the edge of the tub.

"You can stay in here as long as you like," I muttered while scratching the back of my head nervously. "I **am** sorry though," I added while turning to leave him in peace.

…

**~F~**

In my elation of finally being able to feel something after hundreds of years of cold, I didn't realize how bad I had made Jamie feel…As he turned to leave me in his bathroom, I saw how guilty he appeared and how hard he was trying to make it up to me. I would have to make him feel better somehow…

Unwrapping myself from the sheet and removing my sweatshirt, I sunk down into the cold water and breathed a sigh as the heat was sucked from my body. The whole experience had been really…hot. Which I had expected…but I still appreciated the cold temperature all the same. It also eased the stinging in my butt…

But then a new thought finally sunk in. I had finally had sex…with a mortal…I was in such deep crap.

Even though what Cupid said had given me the courage to recognize my feelings and finally take the plunge, I still didn't want any of the other Guardians to find out. I knew they would tear me a new one if they did…especially if they knew it was with Jamie…

Crap…I told Andy the Aussie that I would meet him at the North Pole…Eh…He'd figure it out. One of the Yetis would help him.

After relieving my thoughts and soaking in the tub awhile longer, I got out and dried off with one of the spare towels that Jamie had hanging up. Thankfully, I had regained the use of my legs after resting a little bit. But then I realized that my pants were somewhere out in his room…

Sighing, I grabbed my sweatshirt and pulled it over my head.

…

**~B~**

I had to have been waiting restlessly in my bedroom for almost 45 minutes. That entire time I had a million thoughts whizzing around my head. That I had actually had sex with Jack Frost, my Guardian, against all odds. Then that I had accidently hurt him while having sex with him. That I was really fucking awful at sex. That he'd never want to have sex with me again. That perhaps I had ruined everything that might have been between us. That maybe he only did it because he felt sorry for me…

The bathroom door creaking open interrupted my thoughts and I shot up so I was sitting up straight and could begin the never-ending stream of apologies.

My eyes practically bulged out of my head and a heavy blush bloomed across my cheeks when I saw him wearing nothing but his oversized sweatshirt, which only barely protected his modesty.

Oh my God…I could die from how cute he was.

"Jamie…what's the matter?" he asked uncertainly as I had quickly curled up in a ball on the bed and tucked my head into my knees to hide the glowing red look on my face.

"Nothing!" I nearly shouted as I straightened up again in a kneeling position. "I…uh…let me help you find your pants…" I added as I stood up and walked around the bed to assist him. I grabbed the rumpled pair from the floor and extended them out to them before turning my head to give him some privacy.

What the hell was I doing? I just had fucking sex with the guy and I'm still embarrassed to look at him?! What was wrong with me…

"Jamie?" he asked again, seemingly unsure of how to act toward me as well.

"Jack…" I said sitting down on the bed again and staring at my knees. "Why did you do this?"

"Do what?" he asked and moved to stand in front of me.

"Come here like that…was it just because you felt sorry for me? Since I said all kinds of pitiful things to you...?"

"What?!" Jack asked leaning down with his hands on my knees, but then quickly wincing once he accidently flexed his muscles the wrong way, causing him to kneel down on one knee.

"Jack! Are you okay?!"

"Whadya mean 'felt sorry for you'?!" he asked me a little angrily. "I **told** you I-"

But he quickly stopped and his eyes widened once he replayed the memory in his head.

"Oh…shoot…I am so sorry. I meant to tell you earlier but I was in such a rush…" he confessed as he knelt up on both knees and rested his arms on my lap. "Jamie…I love you!" he said smiling warmly up at me.

However, I must have fallen into shock because time stood still for me. He was my first love…I had always loved him…even if it wasn't romantic at first…And I never thought it to be possible that he would ever return my feelings…I wished so many times that I could forget my own and just move on…

"Huh? Jamie…?!" he gasped in surprise as I dropped onto the floor in front of him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

I could barely hold it in anymore…I was so happy to finally hear him say it…

"Jamie?!" he asked as he pushed my shoulders back, and I conceded and pulled myself away from him. "Are…are you crying?"

"No…" I shook my head, but my voice gave me away and I wiped my eyes with my arm.

"Hey," he said gently as he brushed my bangs aside, "Everything's ok. There's no reason for you to be sad."

"I'm not sad!" I exclaimed a little too loudly at the floor. Bringing my voice back down to normal volume I added, "I just can't believe you said it…"

"Well I did and I meant it," he said as a corner of his mouth crept up into a smile.

I sniffed once and raised my eyes to meet his again, letting myself get lost in the vibrant blue. Maybe we could have a life together after all…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So much love**
> 
> **This needed to happen like ten chapters ago**
> 
> **amiright?**
> 
> **Anyway! Hope you liked it!**
> 
> **Even though it was far from fairy tale sex.**
> 
> **You took 5 minutes to read this fluffy chapter,**
> 
> **you can spare a few more to leave a review, right? ;D**


	16. Ch 15: Forgive and Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **BABES!**
> 
> **I am so unbelievably sorry for abandoning this story for a year.**
> 
> **I don't deserve to be a writer D;**
> 
> **I will try to make it all up to you by resuming this story with vigor.**
> 
> **And I'll start off with a healthy chapter.**
> 
> **So here's 10,000 words. Enjoy! (And please don't hate me p_q )**

Forgive and Remember

**~B~**

It had been a little over a month since Jack had burst in and in his own erratic way, confessed that he loved me. At first, I was so blown away at how much I had wanted him to say those words. I just couldn't believe it. After committing myself to believing that a relationship with him would never happen, it somehow happened. He said he loved me…I should be happy…right?

Yet somehow my mind was in turmoil. It wasn't that I thought Jack was lying when he said it or that he wasn't genuine in his feelings…it's just…I couldn't help but think that Jack didn't actually love me in the same way I loved him…

A knock on my bedroom door broke me out of my trance and I hastily pretended to resume packing as Monty poked his head in.

"You about ready to go?" he asked and I knew he had probably been ready for the past hour. It was Thanksgiving break and Monty, Ashley, Cupcake, and I were all going to drive back to Burgess together. Ashley was lucky enough to get a parking pass as a freshman, even though he had to keep his car off campus. In situations like this, he was more than happy to drive us all home with him.

"Yeah," I responded briskly as I put a little more accelerated effort in shoving clothes in my bag. "Just give me five more minutes," I asked already knowing I had requested five more minutes twenty minutes ago.

"Alright, hurry up," Monty replied rolling his eyes as he left to go wait and chat with the rest of them in our small living area.

I resumed shoving clothes in my bag and tried to not get distracted again. I was just going home for a long weekend, I didn't need that many clothes. Unfortunately, I had a lot of reading to do…which was more or less my own lazy fault. It didn't help that anytime I tried focusing on something, my mind wandered onto Jack again and I would end up making very little headway in my books.

My reasons to doubt him might have been completely made up; however, the way he expressed any of his emotions was always extremely…shallow. While I liked to think of myself as reasonably mature, Jack just wasn't. I didn't think he really knew what mature romantic love was like…instead his feelings were about as deep and meaningful as a child's. It just wasn't the same…

Jamie, let's GO!" Ashley yelled from the living room, his accent detracting from any actual annoyance he harbored in my mind. "I would like to get home by dinner tomorrow, if that's fine by you!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I muttered slightly irked as I slung my duffel bag over my shoulder and locked my door behind me.

…

…

"Jamie!" I heard Sophie scream as I exited Ashley's car onto my driveway. In the small amount of time it took me to straighten up, I felt her grab hold of my arm and start tugging me toward the house. "I need to talk to you," she grumbled; however, I resisted her eleven-year-old strength and instead bent down and hoisted her over my shoulder.

"Jamieeee!" she yelled as I felt her bang her fists into my back, albeit not very hard.

Ignoring her and using my free hand to lift my duffel bag out the car, I peered inside and gave a final farewell to my friends.

"Thanks for the ride! I'll see you guys Tuesday," I reminded them not to pick me up on their way back.

"Wait a second!" Ashley called rolling down the driver's window as I shut my car door. "What are you doing on Saturday?" he asked, his taupe-colored eyes holding a rare glint in them that caused me pause.

"Nothing…why?" I asked clearly displaying my skepticism.

"I dunno," he said nonchalantly as he put the car in reverse. "I'll let you know," he added before rolling up his window and pulling out of my driveway.

I didn't really have time to ponder what he meant, because my sister starting squirming on my shoulder again.

"Jay. Meeeeee" she whined, her voice partially flustered but still amused to see me again. I chuckled and walked her inside as she half-heartedly kicked her legs and hit my back.

The moment I crossed the threshold, the warm and delicious smell of my kitchen wafted into my face. My mom was making dinner and I just realized how hungry I was…

Dropping my bag and setting Sophie down, I saw as my mother turned around smiling and walked up to put her arms around me in a hug that made it seem as if I had been gone for years.

"Hi, mom," I greeted candidly while hugging her back. "Miss me?" I asked rhetorically.

"Of course, I did," she said refusing to let go, "You never call your dear old mother."

"I'm sorry," I replied smiling as she let me go. "I'll try to get better at that," I promised. "And you're not old," I added knowing she'd appreciate the compliment.

She smiled back and looked up at me in the way only a loving mother could. My mom was a sap when it came to Sophie and me, but until now, I didn't realize that I would actually miss her too.

"You hungry?" she asked enthusiastically as she turned around to resume her cooking. "I bet you're sick of cafeteria food."

"You bet I am…" I said while bending down to pull at the shoestrings of my boots. There wasn't snow just yet, but the temperature had definitely dropped, and I proceeded to remove my coat and hang it up on the hook by the front door.

"Well, it'll be ready in about five," my mother responded as she knelt down to check on whatever was in the oven. "Why don't you drop your things in your room and wash up for dinner."

I rolled my eyes at her over-excessive mothering and allowed my impatient sister to tug me around the corner and upstairs into my room.

"GEEZ!" she almost yelled as soon as I shut my door. "You are so freaking SLOW!"

"What's up?" I asked curiously amused by her urgency. She tended to overreact to everything.

She looked like she was about to speak, but all of a sudden looked around and to my window as if having a change of thought.

"Where's Jack?" she asked suddenly distracted as she stared out my bedroom window.

"He's not always with me, Sophs," I replied trying to reroute her thoughts. "Now what did you want to tell me?"

As if suddenly having an epiphany, she blurted out, "I saw Pippa this morning and she asked about you!"

"Did she?" I asked raising an eyebrow. Ever since Pippa had stopped talking to me, I didn't know what to think. I hoped she'd reach out to me even after we went off to attend different universities, but I hadn't heard anything from her since we essentially broke up. I…knew that I had broken her heart, but we used to be best friends. It still stung to think she'd just want to throw that away entirely. "What about?" I pressed my sister in attempts to get a full answer.

"She asked if you were coming back for Thanksgiving break," she rambled quickly before stopping to look up at me expectantly as if gauging my reaction.

"That's it?" I asked confused why this was such big news to her.

"What do you **mean** that's **it**?" she asked perplexed. "She wants to see you! I think she wants to make up with you!"

My mouth pressed into a hard line as my confusion refused to fade. My sister was reading way too much into this… Her preteen self was still really good at conflating stories completely at random.

"I don't think that's what she wanted, Sophie," I said firmly before shouldering past her to drop my bag onto my bed and separate my laundry from my clean clothes.

"Well I think it was," she argued stubbornly. "And besides, you know I liked Pippa. The only reason she hung out with me was because of you," she explained crossing her arms and looking begrudgingly off to the side.

"Well-" I was about to counter back, but was interrupted by our mom calling us down for dinner. Letting that serve as the end of the conversation, I dropped my laundry and left to go downstairs.

The allure of dinner reached my nose again as I descended the staircase and my mouth instantly started watering.

"What's for dinner?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen and, remembering my mom's initial request, went over to the sink to wash my hands.

"Roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and broccoli," she announced relieved to be done cooking it all. However, it wasn't lost on me that she had gone out of the way to cook some of my favorite food.

Sophie appeared behind me and pulled out her usual chair at the table, while I took the seat next to her. My mom approached the chicken with a small carving knife and started to slice off pieces of meat.

"Leg?" she asked me, probably already knowing my answer.

"Please," I asked holding up my plate.

"Sophie? White meat or leg?" she asked, even though I knew Sophie would just get the same as me.

"Leg, please," she asked holding up her plate as well.

Even though I knew mom had gone out of her way to make a welcome home dinner for me, it still felt strange since it was more formal than usual. Before I had gone to college, we were all typically so busy that I would end up making something for Sophie and I while my mom was at work or we would just live off of leftovers. So in this situation, after being gone for several months, I suddenly felt out of place in my own house.

"So," my mom sighed as she (finally) sat down and started actually eating the food she had prepared. "How's school going?"

"Fine," I replied despite having just taken a bite. The chicken was perfectly cooked and…damn if I could ever deny that I had missed my mom's cooking. "I'm getting all A's so far, passing all my midterms."

"Great," my mom praised smiling at me proudly. "How's rooming with Monty and…what's his name again?"

"Ashley."

"Yes, sorry. How's living with them?"

"It's fine," I answered nonchalantly. "We get along alright."

"Good, good," my mom trailed off as she cut her chicken. "Have you met anyone new?"

"I mean…some people sure," I lied. "I just started off with some hard classes and want to make sure I study enough," I added knowing she'd follow up if I didn't.

"Well, that's good. I was hoping I raised someone responsible," she said smirking a little at me.

"What about you, Soph's?" I asked grinning and somewhat wanting to change the subject off of my antisocial behavior.

"Oh my God, I have Mr. Cain this year for math and he is so HARD! Like, I have to do thirty problems a NIGHT and then he'll…"

Thankfully due to my sister's incessant ability to talk everyone's ears off, she ended up dominating the conversation all throughout dinner. However, I liked that she seemed to be doing better in school. Mom hadn't brought up her getting into any fights at least…

After dinner, we all ended up watching a movie together, which was something we hadn't done in a long time. It was obvious my mom and Sophie missed me and…well…I couldn't deny that I had missed them too.

College had been strange. I wasn't lying when I said that I was trying to focus on my studies instead of making friends, but the truth was obviously besides not being able to go out after dark…I only cared about spending time with Jack. It probably wasn't considered normal, but that wasn't important to me…I had accepted long ago when I had professed my infatuation with a mythical snow sprite that I could easily be detained in a mental ward if anyone found out.

But once I had lost interest in the movie, I couldn't help but concentrate on what my sister had told me. That Pippa had actually asked about me. Did she really want to talk to me again?

The thought of talking to Pippa again really intimidated me. She used to be my best friend on the planet. And I was in turn the biggest fuckhead on the planet for being the only one to realize she was actually in love with me and then going and completely shutting her out for completely selfish reasons. How could I even begin to explain to her how sorry I was?

I couldn't, I decided after I had said goodnight to my mom and Sophie and starting going upstairs. There was probably no way I'd be able to make it up to her after leading her on for half a year, being each other's first in…well practically everything, and then just giving her the silent treatment for a whole month for no apparent reason.

Yep…I thought as I pushed open my door….There's nothing I can do…

If I had been paying any amount of attention to my surroundings before going into my room, I would have heard the faint ringing sound that Jack unconsciously emitted. But because I held myself oblivious, I didn't realize that he had already been in my room waiting for me to come up.

Before I could even turn on my light, I felt an icy sting on my nose, causing me to yell and jump to the side reflexively avoiding the annoying source of the shock.

"God…dammit," I begrudged rubbing my nose and trying to hold back a smile.

"Miss me?" he asked smirking at me knowingly.

I rolled my eyes and couldn't hold back a quiet grin. He had made it into his own personal game to kiss my nose when I least expected it and freeze it slightly. If I didn't secretly find it so adorable, I would have told him to stop already.

After my lack of response, he decided to hop up on my bed and settle there cross-legged before asking, "You glad to be home?"

"I guess…." I replied, shutting my door and remembering why I was previously so distracted as I took off my shirt to change. I had very quickly given up on modesty since Jack seemed to have forgotten in his long existence what that word meant.

"What's _wrong_?" he asked feigning irritation as he laid back and crossed his arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

I knew he was kidding, but I found myself not wanting to tell him. I proceeded to put on my pajama pants in silence.

"Jamie?" he asked again, realizing something was seriously bothering me as he craned his neck to look at me.

"It's just…" I sighed before sitting down on the edge of my old bed. I paused for a moment while staring at my lap before answering, "It's just that it's been almost a year and Pippa still hasn't talked to me."

"Have you tried talking to _her_?" he asked as if that were the most obvious solution in the world.

"Yes," I responded a little annoyed.

" _Recently_?" he pressed, reading into my evasion.

I pursed my lips and refused to answer him. What did it matter? I tried talking to her heaps of times and it did absolutely nothing. Why would now be any different?

"Well…look..." he started as he leaned his light bodyweight against my side, "Why don't I create a little snowstorm this weekend? And…you could invite her out? Invite everyone out. It'll be just like old times…"

That…didn't seem like a bad idea actually. That way it wouldn't just be me trying to talk to her, it'd be all of us. We could all hang out like we used to together…completely carefree…

I glanced over to the side to see Jack smiling at me mischievously, clearly excited about his own plan. Although, anything to get me outside and, in his opinion, 'not be so lame' was always on his agenda.

I laughed lightly and conceded while running a hand through my hair, "Alright, alright…"

…

…

"JAMIE!" I woke to the sound of my sister yelling and before I could even open my eyes, she had leaped on top of me.

"URGH!" I cringed as I wasn't prepared for her bodyweight on my stomach and promptly shoved her off before she accidently hurt me.

"OW!" she shouted as she tumbled off my bed and landed with a thud. But I was for lack of caring, it was seven in the fucking morning.

"Sophie, go away," I grumbled before turning over and pulling the covers over my head.

"Hrmph…" she grunted obstinately and despite me trying to ignore her and fall back into dreamland, I heard the sliding of wood and felt a whoosh of cold air come into my room.

Then low and behold...

"Jamie!" the voice of winter eagerly greeted me along with his brisk, negative degree wind.

Not wanting to wake up yet on account of the dreamsand, I pretended to sleep and ignore him.

That is, until a whack on my skull caused me to cringe and groan as I flopped onto my back while rubbing my stinging skull.

"Come onnn," he urged before deciding to hop up and settle on top of me, straddling my hips. He hesitated for a moment and shifted slightly, clearly feeling the effect of me just waking up before asking, "What's that?"

"Fuck. SOPHIE!" I yelled not wanting him to say anything else in front of her, "Go get dressed. I'll be out in a few minutes."

"Woohoo!" she quietly congratulated herself on waking me up and dashed out of my room to get ready. Thankfully, she shut my door behind her.

"Get off," my voice rasped as I shoved him off me.

"I never realized you got that excited about winter," he teased as he hopped to perch himself on the frame of my bed.

"Fuck off, it's because I just woke up," I grumbled as I shoved the covers off me and left to use the bathroom, ignoring Jack's eye twitching from me swearing so much. Even though I generally refrained from using curse words around him, I didn't avoid it entirely. Honestly…he should just get over it.

After flushing the toilet and washing my hands, I splashed a bit of cold water on my face to wash out the remainder of the dreamsand in an effort to fully wake up.

I walked into my room to see him sitting with his leg crossed on the edge of my bedframe while bouncing his foot impatiently.

"What?" I asked somewhat accusatory.

"Geez, you're so grumpy in the morning," he continued patronizing me.

"Only when I'm woken up before the sun on a weekend," I grumbled not bothering to take off my flannel pajama pants before shoving my leg into my jeans. I would probably need the extra layer today.

"Sun's up," Jack stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, well…my friends still aren't, I can guarantee that," I said while adding a couple shirts to my outfit. "Besides," I said pulling my head through the second shirt, "Wasn't that the point of today? To get all my friends together?"

I turned to look at him and watched his eyes roll up into the corner as he replied, his voice higher than normal as he drew out the tone. "Mmmm….yeah…"

Stopping to square my body directly at him, I demanded sternly, "What are you up to?"

"It's not me," he stressed, although not bothering to hide his implications.

"SOPHIE!" I yelled, not worried about waking up my mom since she had already left for work. Despite getting Thanksgiving and Monday off, she still agreed to work the weekend.

"What?!" Sophie called from her room, not bothering to keep the noise level down either.

"What are you trying to pull?!" I yelled back.

"Nothing!" she shouted trying to sound offended at me accusing her of such an obvious thing.

Turning and glaring back at Jack, he put his hands up in total innocence and proclaimed, "Honestly, she just told me she wanted to go to the park to set up before you brought your friends."

"Set up what?" I asked again.

Sophie then barged through my bedroom door and answered my misdirected question.

"To have an epic snowball fight, of course!" she said sounding nothing short of delighted.

I raised an eyebrow at her and she continued on explaining her plan. "Come on! With all your friends, it'll be so much FUN! That's like…" she quickly counted on her fingers, "six people, not including Jack."

"Well what about **your** friends?" I asked wondering why she was so excited to hang out with me and my friends.

At that, my sister closed her mouth and grew quiet, an action that's relatively strange for her.

"Sophs?" I asked concerned, "Are you still getting in fights at school?"

"Look…no, alright?" she answered suddenly appearing angry, "I just wanted to help you make up with Pippa is all."

Sincerely doubting her, but deciding to drop it knowing she wouldn't forcibly tell me anything, I turned back to Jack.

"Where's it at?" I asked giving in to their scheme.

He grinned at me and replied eagerly, "I've got the perfect spot."

…

…

**~F~**

I knew Jamie missed Pippa. He never really went into detail about what exactly went on between them, but I knew they broke up…as teenagers frequently do. And even though I knew Jamie felt extremely guilty about it, I knew that she'd move on eventually.

Which made me all the more motivated to rekindle their friendship with the magic of winter…

Sophie had the idea of setting up a major snow arena in the fields by the woods and I was a hundred percent on top of this idea. There is no greater feeling that landing a hit through a hailstorm of snowball projectiles. There just isn't.

So once Jamie actually got his butt up and out the door, he grabbed some shovels from the garage and we made our way to the snow field. I had spent a greater portion of last evening and this morning conjuring the perfect snow…not too loose and not too icy. It was going to be epic, as Sophie would say.

Once we got to work, Sophie did a lot of the directing since she had this great vision of snow obstacles and barriers already planned out. I didn't really mind helping her dream come alive…it was my job after all. Even though Jamie cautioned me a bunch of times to keep it realistic, nothing too big or elaborate since his friends wouldn't believe that Jamie and Sophie could have built a life size snow castle all on their own. Pft…amateurs.

But I noticed mid-morning that Jamie didn't seem to be acting the same around me. He seemed really concentrated on his work forming a pile snowballs behind the snow barrier I had made and barely talked to me or Sophie.

"Yo! Jamieee," I called while peeking over the other side of the barrier at him. "

"What?" he asked monotonously while continuing to pack the snow.

"Duck," I jeered while gently tossing one of my snowballs in the air above him, which he wordlessly swatted away barely glancing at it.

This irked me. This morning was the only time I would really get to talk to him today, since once his friends got here he'd start ignoring me again. Granted, I totally understood why he did that, but he should've known that I still enjoyed actually talking to him whenever I could.

"What's with you?" I asked before vaulting myself over the barrier and landing next to him.

"Nothing," he answered with the same voice as before.

"Then why won't you talk to me?" I demanded while propping my staff in front of me as I crouched down facing him.

"I didn't realize I wasn't."

That made my eye twitch irritatingly. But I knew Jamie a little better by now. Whenever he got quiet like this, it was always because his mind was dwelling on something else.

"Are you nervous Pippa won't come?" I guessed, hoping I was right.

He paused and glanced up at me, his honey-colored eyes glinting in the sun through his bangs. "I guess a little bit," he muttered before resuming his previous activity.

"She'll come," I promised him. I'd make her come…No one can resist the magic of fun, no matter how old they were. Well…maybe except Aster the Workmaster.

"You're gonna have a good time," I continued reassuringly. "Once everyone sees this, it's going to blow their minds," I added smiling and hardly containing my own enthusiasm.

One side of Jamie's mouth pulled up into a grin as he seemed to want to believe in my hopefulness.

"Well, let's move, squirt. By the time you're done there, the day's gonna be over," I prodded still grinning at him.

He chuckled a little lightheartedly as we stood up before stating, "Who are you calling squirt?" as he pushed my shoulder a little, causing me to stagger slightly.

"Hey." I asserted while gripping my staff in both hands feigning a fighting stance. "We'll settle this later," I said in reference to the preplanned fight.

Jamie laughed again before getting out his cell phone and texting his friends.

…

…

"WOAH!" Monty exclaimed as he ran across the field toward us. "You guys made all this? When did you start?!" he asked in reference to the vast snowy field filled with barriers of various sizes that were arranged around the perimeter of the forest to the middle of the field. We also created dozens of piles of snowballs, and a fort that Jamie constructed between two large boulders and logs lain across.

When Monty finally approached us at a lighter jog, Jamie answered laughing a little, "Since this morning. I told you it was going to be awesome."

"For real…screw Ashley's plan," he said laughing.

"What was Ashley's plan?" Jamie asked curiously, clearly not having been kept in the loop.

"His parents left for the weekend to go to a spa somewhere," Monty replied, "He has the house to himself. I think he wanted to throw a party."

"Well…" Jamie started uncertainly, "Why didn't he just say that before?"

"Dunno," Monty shrugged, "He probably didn't want to let the word get out too early and risk too many people or his parents finding out. If anything, we can just go over there later."

"Maybe…" Jamie trailed off unsure. I knew it was because by 'later' Monty probably meant after dark and Jamie would want to be home way before then. "Is everyone else coming?" he asked trying to follow up with the current situation.

"Should be," Monty said as he took out his phone and removed his glove to unlock it. "Yeah," he confirmed, "Ashley and Cupcake are on their way. I texted Pippa like you asked, and she still hasn't said anything."

"Mm…" Jamie uttered while visibly worrying at his lip.

"I'll take a photo of this and send it to her, she can't say no once she sees this majesty," Monty said ironically referencing himself and grinning like a ninny. I was internally ecstatic that he was so excited about this. My patience was really starting to boil waiting for these slowpoke teenagers to get here…

"Hey Sophie!" Monty called over to the little girl as she lay starfished in a snow pile while staring at the sky.

"Yeah?" she asked cheerfully while raising her head up.

"Come here to take a picture of Jamie and me!" he called and Sophie sprung up in an instant and trudged her way over.

Monty walked up to her and gave her his phone. "You know how to work it?" he asked referring to the camera function.

"No duh," Sophie responded sarcastically.

"Cool." Then Monty turned around and sprinted toward Jamie while yelling, "Alright! Catch me Jamie!"

"Wha-? MMPH" Jamie was about to ask before Monty leaped up into him, throwing his arms around his neck and pulling up his legs, Jamie being just quick enough to raise his arms to catch him and brace himself against his weight.

Jamie stumbled slightly against the unexpected force, but managed to hold himself steady just as Sophie took the photo, Monty throwing one arm out and smiling like an insane person.

I bent over laughing at the spectacle of Jamie actually struggling for once, and I didn't miss the glare he threw at me as he dropped his friend, who proceeded to reclaim his phone and send it to everyone.

"Hey guys!" Ashley called as he too high-step jogged through the snow over to us.

"Hey," Monty greeted him cheerfully. "Did you see Cupcake?"

"Yeah, she said she was going to meet up with Pippa," he replied. "They should be here shortly."

"So what teams are we going to all be on?" Monty asked turning to face everyone else in a circle, as I stood just behind all of them.

Before anyone could throw out their considerations, Sophie blurted out, "Me, Jamie, and Pippa!" Then I saw as she wordlessly glanced across the circle at me and winked mischievously. I knew what her plan was. Get Jamie and Pippa together while using me as the secret weapon. Heck…I'd take it.

Ashley laughed warmly and replied, "Well, I guess that's settled then. Is this," he gestured wildly with his mitten covered hands at our war zone, "divided in halves or all up for grabs?"

"I think it's just random," Jamie answered and I could see his face start to light up from excitement, making me feel better seeing he was actually cheerful again.

"Pippa!" Sophie yelled before racing across the field toward the two figures who had just encroached the hill. Summoning my wind, I jumped into the air and followed her until we both reached Pippa. I wanted to judge the situation for myself and make sure a little boost of magic wasn't required…

"Hey, Sophie," Pippa greeted her smiling. Sophie gave her a hug before exclaiming, "You're on a team with Jamie and me. Cupcake you're with the other two." Her excitement was radiating out, but it was obvious to anyone with a clue now what her plan was.

I noticed Pippa smile, albeit her brows wrinkled together clearly seeing through Sophie's plan and probably questioning whether Sophie or Jamie had come up with it. Either way, she looked happy enough to be there.

"Come on!" Sophie demanded, grabbing Pippa by the hand and pulling her over, Cupcake following behind smiling as well.

"Alright!" Sophie yelled despite everyone being in close proximity once they finished walking over. "The rules are…there are no rules!" she proclaimed eagerly. "You can move anywhere, block anyhow, and work with your team to just nail the other team as much as possible. You ready?!" she screamed throwing an arm up in the air.

Shrugging and grinning at the little girl's utter delight, everyone else raised an arm in agreement.

"GO!" she yelled before darting off to the northern side of the field. Jamie and Pippa glanced quickly at each other before taking off after her. I knew Jamie would stick with and defend his sister, I figured Pippa would try to do the same.

The fight ensued. Cupcake, Ashley, and Monty dashed after them, reaching down to grab snowballs as they ran. After that, it was a cacophony of chaos.

I squirted around dodging projectiles and launching a few of my own when others weren't looking. Most of them seemed to be going easy on Sophie, electing instead to take the brunt of their attack out on Jamie and Pippa. What relieved me the most was to see Jamie and Pippa actually smiling together.

"Follow me!" Jamie yelled before charging to a different snow wall that was built a little higher and with a porthole to peek through. Pippa and Sophie followed after him, Pippa getting nailed in the back with a snowball thrown by Cupcake. She shrieked in delight before quickly crouching and crawling to move next to Jamie.

They didn't appear for a minute and I assumed that they were debating strategy. Looking over, I realized that the other team had stopped their attack as well. Curious, I pranced over and landed behind them as they were crouched behind a few of the neighboring trees.

"What are they doing?" Ashley asked, wondering as to why the commotion suddenly died down.

"Probably talking," Monty answered panting a little as he pushed up his glasses. "Let's give them a minute."

"Was breaking up with _her_ the reason he got so depressed?" Ashley asked curiously, making me pause. Suddenly I felt like I was intruding on a conversation that I shouldn't be. However, if it concerned Jamie, I wanted to know about it.

Monty kind of chewed on his lip a little before replying, "Not really… He felt really bad after it, but he was out of sorts before that."

"Why? What happened?" Cupcake asked and Ashley peeked around the side of his tree to check on them as he listened.

"I…it's not really my place to say anything," Monty said, his voice growing really quiet. That suddenly raised a lot of questions for me wondering what Jamie told him. Obviously, he didn't tell him the truth. Monty would never believe it. So what was he so nervous about telling the rest of them about?

"Is he ok?" Ashley asked.

"He's fine," Monty answered rather quickly. "He's just going through some personal stuff."

"Well, maybe a few drinking games tonight will loosen him up a bit," Ashley added chuckling. "That is, if he doesn't have to take his 'medication'.

The way he said that led me to believe that his friends didn't really believe Jamie's excuse for going to bed so early all the time.

"You know we can't do that…" Monty said peering around the side of the tree as well. "We'll just have to see how he feels about it."

Deciding I had listened long enough to their private conversation and also growing tired of the lack of laughter on the field, I hopped up into the pine tree standing behind them and proceeded to slide down the branch, shoving all the snow onto the helpless souls before I flew out into the middle of the field, their cries of shock following behind me.

I saw as Pippa, Jamie, and Sophie's heads poked out from behind the barrier trying to see what caused the others to shout.

"What happened?" Jamie asked looking directly at me.

"I don't know…" Pippa answered, thinking he was asking her.

"I shoved a bunch of snow from the trees on them," I replied smartly while resting my staff confidently across my shoulder. "Serves them right for just sitting there talking too much."

"What do you think their plan is?" Jamie asked again and I knew he was inadvertently talking to me.

Pippa responded as clueless as Jamie was, but I answered his question. "They don't really have one, I say you all try and charge them."

Jamie grinned back, liking the plan. "Alright, huddle up," he commanded to the other two as they bent down to hear him.

Jamie's group decided to charge the other and the chaos resumed again. I spent most of my time surfing around and inciting more insanity, but I didn't care. This was how people were supposed to be. Playing together. Having fun. Laughing and smiling. Why was this something just reserved for kids anyway?

After several hours of exhaustive attacking and defending, both groups had settled down to regroup again. Jamie's was behind a barrier with their backs to the forest and Monty's had settled behind one not too far in front of them.

I skated over before stopping and crouching next to Jamie, ready to join in on their final assault.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Yeah…" Pippa panted on the other side of them.

Carefully, they each grabbed a snowball and we all carefully peeked up over the snow wall.

Before we could even prepare a throw, several snowballs launched out and headed straight toward us.

"Get down!" Jamie yelled grabbing both Pippa and me before pulling us down as the snowballs flew harmlessly over our heads.

I couldn't help but chuckle in amusement even though I knew they weren't aiming for me. I looked over at Jamie to see what his next command would be, but instead, caught Pippa's eye.

Pippa's eyes grew to be the size of saucers as we locked gazes. Then before I could say anything, she screamed and threw herself backwards, pushing herself frantically away with her feet as if she had just seen a ghost.

"Pippa?" Jamie asked not understanding what was going on. "What's wrong?"

"I…I…" she asked still staring at my position. Curious I scooted several paces to the left, but her gaze remained transfixed on where I used to be.

"Pipps?" Jamie asked softer this time, probably wondering if she was having some kind of episode.

"I just thought…I saw…"

"What?" Jamie asked again. Me meanwhile just staring at her in absolute shock.

She actually saw me…

Shaking her head slightly as if returning to reality she responded curtly, "Nothing. I'm…just getting cold I think."

"Ok…" Jamie replied, before turning his head to look at me. I was still having difficulty speaking and could do nothing besides shrug in bewilderment.

Then to my additional shock, Jamie quickly stood up and faced the forest, staring intently into it at one spot.

"Jamie?" Pippa asked concerned as she stared up at him wide-eyed again before trying to follow his gaze into the woods.

Lurching back to reality, Jamie quickly ducked as additional snowballs were aimed directly at him. He took a hit in the back before shielding himself behind the snow again.

"What's wrong?" Pippa asked him this time as Jamie turned back around to look at the forest.

"Nothing." Jamie stated firmly. "I just thought I heard something."

"M-maybe we should get home," Pippa offered and I could tell she was beginning to freak out a little.

"Sure…" Jamie said looking back at her and probably seeing the same thing.

Then, he stood up while calling to the other team, "Hey guys! We surrender!"

After a brief moment, the other three popped up from behind the snow and walked over to us laughing in sweet victory.

"That was SO fucking fun!" Monty yelled before quickly biting his lips and looking worriedly at Sophie for having carelessly sworn in front of her.

Sophie rolled her eyes ignoring him and countered, "I still think we creamed you guys."

"Yeah well," Ashley said as he leaned over her, intentionally exaggerating their height differences. "We weren't the ones to give up," he teased.

Sophie elbowed him in the side and Ashley laughed while rubbing his sore spot. I had to give it to the girl, she definitely had moxy.

"Jamie…" Pippa started hesitantly, "You and Sophie want to walk home with me?"

Jamie looked over at his friends and then back at Pippa. "Sure," he said, his warm smile returning to his face. He turned to look back at the group and turned to confirm with his friends, "See you guys Tuesday, yeah?"

Ashley looked over at Monty, who stood still watching Jamie. Then with a wave of his hand he replied, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. We'll see you later. But Pippa," he added causing Pippa to look at him. "Don't be a stranger ok?"

Pippa smiled and walked over to give Monty and Cupcake a hug goodbye. It made me feel better as well to see all of their friendships returning.

"It was nice meeting you," she said in turn to Ashley, who smiled and hugged her as well.

"Alright, see you guys later," Jamie said softly before turning to walk with Pippa across the field, Sophie trailing behind.

I chose to hang back with Sophie to let the two of them talk on their own.

"What was up with earlier?" Sophie whispered just loud enough so I could hear.

"What?" I asked, tearing my attention away from the two in front of me and looking at Sophie.

"Why were Pippa and Jamie so freaked out?" she elaborated.

"I dunno…" I said suddenly remembering the strange occurrence that happened earlier.

…

…

**~B~**

As we walked home, I noticed that my sister and Jack were hanging back behind us, probably to let Pippa and me talk a little.

At first we didn't say anything. I kept my gaze glued to the snow covered path in front of me as we approached the street and were able to walk on concrete again.

"I had fun today," Pippa said softly glancing over at me.

"Yeah…me too," I replied smiling. It seemed like she had forgiven me…I couldn't have been any more grateful. And it was all thanks to Jack.

Once we walked up to our houses, Sophie declared while holding back a yawn, "I'm going inside. See you Pippa." And she hugged Pippa goodbye before I noticed Sophie slyly tug Jack along with her.

I smirked slightly before turning my attention back to Pippa as we stood in front of her house.

"Look…Pippa…" I started, finally acknowledging the elephant standing between us.

"Jamie, you don't have to apologize," Pippa murmured rubbing her arm.

"Yes I do," I said putting a little more power behind my voice. "There was no reason for me to ignore you like that. I'm so sorry for hurting you…really. I was just…confused." My voice lost its strength as I added, "I guess that's the best way to put it."

Pippa then reached up and put her arms around my neck…like she used to.

"It's ok," she said gently and I gratefully wrapped my arms around her lower back as well as she continued to talk into my shoulder. "I was just…hurt and…blindsided I guess. I thought things were going really well between us and then all of a sudden…they weren't."

We released each other from the hug that I was pretty sure both of us had craved for a long time. Fact was, I knew her better than practically anyone else, even Jack. And I knew she felt the same about me. Despite our own feelings, we both knew on the inside how the other felt this whole time.

"I know I shouldn't have treated you like that," I said looking off to the side and feeling the guilt creep back up for remembering how I had shut her out. "But…you were my best friend Pipps." She smiled at that statement as if happy just to talk to me again. "I miss you."

"I just don't want to lose you again…" she said softly and I saw as tears started to form in her eyes.

Quickly grabbing her and pulling her into another hug I murmured softly, "You won't…Friends forever, right?"

She let out an airy laugh, but I could tell she was crying a little. Finally she agreed, "Yeah…friends forever."

…

…

I knew Pippa and my relationship wouldn't go back to how it used to be. But it was still enough to know that neither of us wanted to lose the other. After saying our goodbyes, I walked up and into my house, noting that my mom still wasn't home from work yet. Meh…there was probably still food left over from Thanksgiving for me to heat up for Sophie.

I walked through my front door and leaned over to glance into the living room, seeing Sophie on the couch watching TV while Jack sat leaning in the window of the living room. He had probably watched my whole interaction with Pippa…Sophie probably had too actually and was just pretending to be innocent.

"You hungry?" I asked my sister as I started to strip off my boots, socks, and outerwear.

"Did you make up with Pippa?" she asked coyly, completely ignoring my question.

"Heh," I chuckled, "Yeah, I think we're fine now."

"Then yes, I'm starving," she replied as if me saying no would have somehow altered that answer.

Moving over to the kitchen, I tugged open the fridge and took out the leftovers to assemble on plates for my sister and I. After quickly heating them up in the microwave, I called her over and we wolfed down our food in silence, the exhaustion from today finally weighing down on us.

"Alright," I replied as I put my plate in the dishwasher. "I'm going to take the hottest shower I've ever had…"

"Yep," Sophie agreed. "I call mom's bathtub."

"Jack?" I asked as I walked past him to head upstairs. "You ok?"

"Mhm," he replied seemingly distracted. "I'll go fly around outside for a bit while you two do that." With that, he stood up and strode over to the window. Turning around to glance at me, he assured, "I'll be back before dark."

The shower that followed was the most glorious feeling I had ever experienced in my life. Holy shit…after being outside in the cold for hours at a time…there was nothing better than thawing out in the hot water. Even after I had finished washing, I just stood there for several minutes basking in the warmth.

During that time, I couldn't help but notice that my thoughts started to crowd my mind again. I was happy that I had made up with Pippa, but honestly, those worries were a welcome distraction to the worries I had about Jack.

I left Pippa for him. I wasn't entirely sure he understood how much of a sacrifice that was to me. I was willing to lose my best friend for him. He told me that he would do anything to protect me, and even though that meant a lot…it was still his responsibility as my Guardian. He'd do that for a lot of kids probably…

I got out of the shower, the steam billowing out in a cloud behind me, and walked into my room. To my surprise, I saw Jack in there already lounging on my bed. I didn't expect him back until sundown.

"Hey…" he said averting his eyes from me. If that was from my body only wrapped in a towel or for another reason, I couldn't tell. He never seemed shy around me before, so I presumed the latter.

"You're back early," I replied as I moved to change into sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"Yeah…I wanted to make sure everything was alright between you and Pippa," he stated while rubbing his thumbs against his chest.

I pulled my head through my shirt and looked at him curiously. Why was he so concerned about Pippa?

"Yeah…" I answered slowly, "Everything's fine. I think we're going to try and go back to being friends, but…we'll see. I think it'll work out." I then strode over to lay next to him on my bed, him scooting over to give me room, before adding honestly, "And I have you to thank for that."

He looked over at me and I gave him a reassuring grin, trying to let him know that I was thankful and happy he arranged the big snow day for me. But his brows came together as if he was bothered.

"Jack?" I asked leaning up on my elbow to look more directly at him. "You ok?"

"Yeah…" he replied before sitting up and crossing his legs under him and lying his staff across his lap. From that position alone, I could tell he wasn't ok. I could also tell since the temperature in my room dropped ever so slightly. "Did you…" he started while looking down at his lap. "Did you not notice what happened earlier?" he asked before flicking his icy blue eyes up to look at me concerned.

It took me a minute to figure out what he meant. "You mean…when Pippa freaked out?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, and you too," he added watching me carefully.

"I mean…" I stated trying to recall exactly what happened. I got spooked by Pippa and then after listening carefully I thought I heard another strange hum coming from in the woods, similar to Jack's…but different. And when I turned to look, I could have sworn I saw someone…but it all happened so fast.

"She **saw** me, Jamie," he said almost in disbelief.

"What?!" I gasped, my eyes almost falling out of my face.

"She looked directly at me," he emphasized. "It was just for a second, but…it startled her. And then she couldn't anymore."

"But… _how_?" I asked completely aghast.

"I don't know…" he answered scratching the side of his head. "Maybe the snowball fight and everything triggered a memory in her but…I've never heard of someone forgetting and then suddenly believing again. Even if just for a second."

"Oh my God…" I muttered sitting up to mirror his position as well. I didn't really know what to think of it…

"What about you?" he asked growing very serious. "You saw something too."

"I'm…not sure," I replied looking down into my lap. "Pippa startled me when she screamed and then I thought I heard a hum coming out of the woods."

"A hum?"

"Yeah," I replied looking back at him. "Like the one you emit."

"Whaat?" he asked, his face suddenly the perfect representation of confusion.

"You let off this high-pitch hum," I explained surprised he didn't realize this. "That's how I usually know where you are."

"I let off a hum?" he repeated as he tilted his head, still not understanding.

"Yeah," I said again. "It's quiet, so at first I didn't notice. But now I pay more attention to it."

"Does this just happen with me?" he asked still muddling through his bewilderment.

"No," I answered, "All of you let off a hum, they're all a little different."

He stopped asking me questions for a minute and just stared at me still looking utterly perplexed.

"You're joking, right?" he asked suddenly.

"What?" I blurted out, "No…why would I be joking?"

"Well, who did you hear in the woods?" he asked again rerouting us back to the previous conversation.

"I…" I paused before answering, "I don't know. There was so much going on and Pippa startled me, so I was probably just imagining it."

He shook his head slightly before leaning it into his hand, resting his elbow on his knee.

"So **that's** how you always catch me," he said laughing lightly.

I smiled back and admitted, "Well, yeah. Now you know my secret."

"How come you never told me?" he asked looking up at me curiously this time.

I shrugged and said, "I don't know. I figured you knew about it."

He shook his head confirming that he didn't.

"Well…" he started sounding a little more relieved, "I'll mention it to Sandy tomorrow and see what he thinks. Did you at least have fun today?" he asked grinning expectantly up at me. I had to admit…I loved when he looked at me like that.

"I already told you I did," I breathed.

"Good," he stated, "I'm glad I could help you make up with Pippa. I figured you two were good enough friends not to let a fight come between you two."

That…gave me pause. My forehead wrinkled slightly as I clarified, "Jack…we didn't get into a fight. She loved me and I broke her heart."

Jack bit his lip recognizing he had misspoken. "Sorry…I just knew she'd get over it. And you were such good friends before that you'd probably make up."

"Well **_I_** didn't know that," I argued since he seemed to be oversimplifying the situation. "You didn't see her face, Jack. I really hurt her. You can't always forgive someone for that, no matter how good of friends you used to be."

"Sorry…" he trailed off and looking to the side before saying something else to upset me.

But I couldn't stop myself.

"You **don't** get it," I burst out before my foresight kicked in. "I left her for **you** ," I emphasized. "I know how that would feel because if I could no longer see you anymore, I'd be devastated."

"I know…"

"No, you **don't**." The words just kept coming out, fucking myself over "How would you feel if I didn't love you anymore?" I demanded to know.

He continued to avoid my piercing stare as he sat on his own hands before answering, "I'd feel bad…but I promised you, Jamie, that I'd always protect you no matter what."

I buried my face frustratingly into my hands. "Urgh…that's not it, Jack. I'm not talking about if I stopped believing in you. I'm saying what if I could still see you, but I didn't care about you anymore?"

My throat was growing strained after voicing all the worrisome thoughts that had been building up in my mind for the last month. I didn't think Jack cared about me the same way I did about him. I couldn't stop think that and I couldn't stop talking about it now, even if I tried.

"I…" he hesitated as he watched me almost looking afraid to answer. "I don't know what you want me to say, Jamie. Of course I'd feel bad, but…"

" **No** ," I interrupted. "There are no buts. You told me you loved me a month ago. What did you _mean_ by that?"

"Wha…" Jack stared gaping at me, completely and utterly perplexed at this point. "I care about you, Jamie. I told you…whenever I'm not around you, I constantly think about you. And when I am with you…I'm happy. I'm spending all this time with you because I want to. You're my favorite…And…if I lost you, it'd hurt, ok?" he muttered quietly. "It'd hurt a lot."

But it still wasn't enough. I sighed and held my face in my hands. It was the same type of love a parent has for a child. Or the type of love between friends. I felt that way with Pippa and all my other friends at some point. It wasn't the same kind of love I felt…

"Is this because we haven't had sex since that one time?" he asked suddenly and I quickly straightened up in astonishment.

"What? No! Jack…it's not about that," I replied in dismay.

"Well, what else then?" he asked obviously confused and worry etched over his face for seeing me distressed. "I told you Jamie…I'm not **like** you," he stated and I actually felt sadness seep into his tone and the temperature in the room fell a little more. "If you want to do it again, you have to say something because I never think about it!" he argued almost losing his breath a little.

I just watched him not knowing what to say. I…knew that he had already told me that he didn't have the same…mortal cravings that I did. But it couldn't be that simple…

But then again…I wouldn't deny that I had wanted to be close to him again. I wanted to hear him whimper underneath me and kiss me like he did that night…

Shaking those thoughts out of my head, I reverted back to the reason why I hadn't initiated anything since then.

"I don't just want to do it, if you don't want to," I stated honestly. "I hurt you…and you didn't seem to enjoy it…"

"I did though…" Jack trailed off and I looked up to actually see the silver blush stain his cheeks slightly as he stared at his knee. "I was telling the truth when I said you made me feel things I'd never felt before. Sure…it hurt. But when you're numb for hundreds of years…pain is still better than nothing."

"But it shouldn't hurt," I insisted grabbing his legs and pulling him closer so our knees were touching. "I pushed you too much and I hurt you, it's all _my_ fault," I added guiltily.

"So don't hurt me again," he murmured looking up at me and I felt my heart beating against my chest.

And with that, he leaned in closer to me, his lips barely brushing against mine as he added…

"Make me feel something else."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Oh Jack babes, I love you so xoxo**
> 
> **Yes, I left it hanging there...but not to be evil I promise.**
> 
> **Besides...I tend to update faster if there's a juicy bit coming up *winkwink***
> 
> **However, I wanted to leave it up to you all.**
> 
> **Shall we go on? Eh? Eh? *elbow nudge***
> 
> **Or I can skip over it if you just want fluff.**
> 
> **Up to you, let me know! I always appreciate my wonderful readers' input xx**


	17. Ch 16: Friendship Lasts Longer Than Grievance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Happy Thanksgiving Weekend American Babes!**
> 
> **And a happy weekend to the rest of you too!**
> 
> **Hopefully ya'll didn't lose faith in me.**
> 
> **I promised that I would try to be faster this time...**
> 
> **And I'm getting there! I've had a lot of uprooting going on in my life.**
> 
> **But now I (hopefully) can settle into a routine and work on writing again.**
> 
> **So anyway...**
> 
> **Enjoy!**

Friendship Lives Longer Than Grievance

**~B~**

His lips ever so gently touched mine, but that was enough to shatter whatever state of shock he had left me in. Immediately, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to soak up whatever amount of tranquility I could after learning that Jack actually didn't regret doing it with me after all.

The reflective moment ended quickly and I was living entirely in the present again. I opened my mouth to invite him into me, and to my surprise, he tilted his head and leaned forward while offering me his tongue. My heart was pounding, but the kiss was slow, his tongue softly curling around mine as I reached a hand up to rest it gently on his neck.

"Mmn…" I groaned lightly as Jack leaned up onto his knees and then crawled forward until he was straddling my lap, me being fully aware of how restrictive my pants were and how close he was to me.

I sighed in pure contentment as my hands slid up under Jack's hoodie and crawled up the length of his torso, every inch of his skin cool upon first touch. Biting his lip, I continued trailing my fingers along his back and sides, relishing in the curve of his back as he arched into my touch.

For someone who said he didn't feel lust…he sure seemed into it…

Breaking the kiss, I retracted a little to check on his expression. Ever since I had first pushed him too far, I had been worried that he was only doing things like this for my sake and not because he actually wanted to.

Jack remained still, his lids heavy and lingering on my mouth and his breaths shakily tumbling across his lips before falling onto mine. He was so…tempting.

If he was faking it just for me… I decided I didn't give a fuck.

Reaching down, I gripped the hem of his sweatshirt and lifted it up, Jack obediently raising his arms to allow me to do so. After tossing the soft material aside, I couldn't help but take a moment to let my eyes wander over him. Even though I would poke fun at his stature or laugh at how much trouble he had interacting with the physical universe, I could tell from his form that he used to be strong when he was human.

Acting on impulse, I leaned forward to kiss and nip the skin above his collarbone, Jack softly gasping a little as I did so. Moving my lips up to his neck, my hands busied themselves with undoing the tie of his pants, Jack nervously shifting his weight as I did so.

"Don't worry," I murmured into his neck, "If it's too much…just tell me…alright?"

I felt him exhale and nod his head slowly, before he reached down to pull my shirt up and over my torso.

After removing my arms from my shirt, Jack placed his hands on my neck, gently cradling my jaw with his fingers, before tilting my chin up so I could resume kissing him on the lips again.

I hummed happily. My heart pounding as I really started to accept that he was enjoying it. Enjoying me.

Letting him toy with my tongue and my lips, I resumed my earlier mission of loosening his pants…except his pants were really hard to figure out in this position.

After struggling for a minute, I felt as Jack stopped kissing me and broke into a soft chuckle.

"It's not my fault I'm used to normal pants," I grumbled quietly more to my own pride than to him.

Still smiling, he leaned up on his knees while resting an arm on one of my shoulders. A little surprised at his boldness, I looked up to see him smirking lightly at me. Emboldened by his cocky attitude, I laughed silently and used both hands to loosen the tie of his pants and pull them down just enough to expose what I wanted.

After adjusting his pants, he leaned back down to sit on my lap as I hesitantly gripped him and gradually began to stroke him.

I noticed how his whole body tensed up immediately, his breathing stopped momentarily, and he leaned his forehead against mine as he adjusted to the sensations. Except I wanted him to relax…

"Jack, moan for me," I purred close to his ear, making him shudder as my breath ghosted across the skin of his neck. I wanted to hear him like I did the first time. Wanted him to give himself to me.

Jack didn't say anything. Instead, he continued to tremble and press his eyes shut.

"We're alone, remember?" I murmured as I moved my attention onto one of his nipples, earning myself a sharp gasp that tumbled off of Jack's lips. "Sophie's downstairs watching TV. She won't hear a thing…" I said as I flicked the tip of my tongue across the raised peak. He was so turned on…he just needed to stop holding back.

"How do you know?" Jack tried to ask, his own breath rough and shaky as he panted, making it hard for him to speak.

"Because she always hangs out downstairs watching TV until my mom tells her to go to bed. I doubt she'll come up here," I said while continuing to lick and bite his nipple softly, causing Jack to jerk his body against mine.

But I was determined to make Jack moan. So I brushed my thumb lightly over the end of his cock, pressing down a little harder into the slit. A loud moan broke out and was quickly muffled into his own hand as I picked up my pace a little bit.

"More Jack," I encouraged, flicking my thumb faster, turning my head up and licking his earlobe teasingly. His sensitivity was outrageous…but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't turned on by it.

"Aaagh, Jamie…" Jack half grunted, half whined as he thrust up into my fist.

I leaned back slightly to get another look at his face and grinned a little proudly after seeing the silver tinge to his cheeks when he grew hot and bothered like this.

Hm…

Looking down, I watched my own hand stroking him and felt my arousal burn in my stomach after feeling him twitch in my hand, his length actually having grown warmer the more turned on he became.

Switching my eyes back up to his face, I locked my gaze with Jack's hazy blue one and watched him pant on top of me. He leaned forward in an attempt to kiss me again, but groaned loudly before throwing his head back when I squeezed a little harder.

"Keep…doing that," Jack grunted, moaning at the sight of my fingers wrapped around him and squeezing him at just the right rhythm.

Leaning up to nip and bite at his earlobe again, he let out a choked groan as I breathed hotly by his ear as I slowly traced my tongue around it.

"Come on, Jack," I whispered gruffly in his ear as I picked up my speed even more. "Cum for me?"

All I got out of him was a strained whimper and he gripped my hair to pull me into another kiss with him while guiding my free hand back to his nipple.

So he liked that…

Meshing my lips against his, I continued stroking, kissing, and flicking him until I felt as he unmistakably grew rock hard and tensed in my hand, before hearing him let out a euphoric cry as his cock pulsed rhythmically in my hand.

Except nothing came out…

I pulled back to look him in the eyes and almost laughed at how dreamy he looked.

"…You ok?" I asked half concerned and half triumphant at my apparent accomplishment.

"Yeah…" he whispered but didn't make any moves to get off my lap.

Did I just put him in shock?

Little pricks of cold burst across my bare skin and I looked up horrified to see it lightly snowing in my room.

"Jack!" I groaned before shoving him off of me and grabbing a blanket to throw over my computer. Then after the initial urge to protect my possessions had passed I realized the absurd irony of it all.

"What?" he asked still dazed, but having had pulled up his pants.

"You literally made it snow," I chuckled shaking my head incredulously.

He smiled widely at me before flopping down to lay across my bed.

The snow had stopped as quickly as it had come, leaving small, melted droplets of water over everything in my possession…but I ignored that and moved back to lie down next to him.

I propped my head up on my arm and looked at him feeling rather proud of myself. "So…was that better?" I asked, despite already knowing the answer.

He maintained his euphoric smile, but instead of answering, he scoot forward on his side, effectively closing the distance between us, before pulling me in to kiss him again.

I readily accepted, greedily absorbing the fact that he was the one initiating this type of kiss with me…and also the fact that I was still fairly turned on.

He pulled apart and looked at me, with me growing lost in his crystalline gaze again. Then with a tone of complete sincerity he asked, "Can you do that again, except with your mouth this time?"

My face was torn between shock and bursting out in laughter.

"Are you serious?" I managed I drivel out.

His brow came together as if confused as to why I was so shocked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he asked again in complete and utter seriousness.

I rolled onto my back with my arm draped across my forehead and laughed at how absurdly different he was behaving.

"What's wrong?" he asked and I stopped laughing after hearing him actually sounding…upset? Embarrassed?

"It's nothing you did," I reassured while turning my head to look at him. "You just went from not wanting it at all to actually asking me to give you a blow job," I said not stopping the smiling from spreading across my lips. "To put it lightly, I'm still a little surprised."

"Well…like…" Jack stumbled over his words while drawing circles into my sheet with his finger, "You never told me it felt **that** good."

"Huh?" I found myself blurting out in confusion. "Jack…have you…Have you never orgasmed before?"

Jack groaned and rolled onto his own back to focus his attention on the ceiling, while doing nothing to hide the silver blush that was growing on his face again. "I mean…" he started before pausing again.

Did he seriously never even masturbate? I know he lived in a different era, but come on…Everybody no matter how prude have tried it at least once.

"I probably did," he admitted finally. "I just can't really remember it…I told you, I was never married when I was human."

"But…not even to yourself?" I asked completely stunned.

"Not enough to remember I guess," he answered sounding slightly miffed at my questioning.

"Oh…" I trailed off, not really sure how to respond to that. I didn't mean to make him feel awkward or humiliated after he did, in fact, enjoy it.

Smirking and feeling slightly mischievous again, I rolled over until I loomed over him and asked, "You still want me to use my mouth?"

I watched as he grew uncomfortable in my sudden change of gears. All he managed to stutter out was, "I…I…You don't…"

Except that as he struggled to find words for his thoughts, I had already started kissing down his chest and was hovering over his stomach, teasing and licking above his hip bone.

"You can tell me no…" my voice low as I started fumbling with his pants again.

Jack's breath started to pick up its pace and instead of answering, he chose to say nothing, but instead, watched me with the utmost anticipation…

A _clack_ against my window made me jump in surprise, ignoring it, I resumed my original intentions, but a couple more _clack clack_ sounds made me realize it wasn't just nature doing that.

I sighed heavily and stood up to go open my window and, to my astonishment, saw Monty and Ashley standing underneath it.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked bewildered as to why they didn't just call me.

"You weren't picking up your phone, dickhead," Ashley responded as he crossed his arms.

Rolling my eyes and fairly annoyed at their interruption of me about to get some, I asked defeated, "What's up?"

"My parents are out of town until tomorrow and I decided it was my right to take advantage of an empty household and invite everyone over," he stated proudly.

"Really." I said more as an ironic statement than a question.

"Yes, really, and you need to come for once," Ashley insisted.

I glanced over at Monty, who more than Ashley knew of my situation.

But even he pressed me, "Come on Jamie," he started. "We're on vacation. We're home, with friends, and just down the street. You can come back before it gets late or even dark out if you want to," he finished listing off the logical reasons why I should go.

Except that the reason I couldn't stay out was for primarily illogical reasons…Even if I came back before dark, that would only be a couple more hours. And nobody would even be there until eight…

"Pippa said she'd come," Ashley quipped.

"She did?" I asked surprised. Pippa didn't really know Ashley that well.

"Yeah, because I said you'd be there," Ashley said grinning up at me.

Urgh…Ash didn't know the full story that had happened between Pippa and I, and it looked like Monty had kept his promise and not divulged the real reasons why we broke up. But…if Pippa expected me to be there…

"You should go," Jack's voice came from behind me, causing me to whip around and look at him. He had since gotten completely dressed and stood at the foot of my bed holding his staff. "I'll go do some of my duties and meet up with you when it gets dark," he reassured. "As long as I stay with you, and you can stay there tonight…I can keep you safe."

I paused, not really sure what to say to him. This would be a different kind of situation…him hanging around me surrounded by a lot of people, many strangers to him, who couldn't see him.

"It's ok Jamie," he assured me, his expression sincere. "You deserve to have fun for one night."

"Jamie?" I heard Ashley calling me back to the window. I turned back around and leaned out of it to look at him, the winter cold starting to really bite at my bare skin.

"Yeah, fine," I gave in, causing Ashley to smile at me triumphantly. "But I'm telling my mom that I'm just going to stay the night at your place."

"That's fine," he agreed, still happy I was going.

"Ok, I'll come over when my mom gets home," I said before shutting the window. Shivering, I walked over to my discarded shirt and pulled it on.

"You sure about this?" I asked skeptically.

"Course I am," Jack quipped, tossing his staff back and forth between his hands. "It doesn't really matter where you sleep as long as I can watch over you."

I smiled and put my hands in my pockets as my mind wandered back to ten minutes prior. "You probably have to get going then so you can get your stuff done, huh?" I asked, the disappointment hanging heavily on my tone.

Jack sighed and pressed his lips together, me relieved as I noted that he seemed equally disappointed.

"Can I get a raincheck with you?" I asked hopefully.

He smiled at that notion and walked toward me before tilting his head up to bring his lips back into mine. After that comparatively chaste kiss, he added slyly, "Definitely."

And with that, he hopped jovially onto my window frame, before changing his mind to whip back around, taking me by surprise, and lightly kissing my nose and causing it to freeze slightly.

I laughed at his incessant need to 'nip' my nose and closed the window behind him after he left.

Overall…this was good. Jack did actually want to have sex with me now…I'll have that on my mind all night…but at the same time, I haven't gone out and partied since I started college. I probably needed this.

Yeah…I needed to have a little fun.

…

…

Entering Ashley's house, I smiled as I saw Monty and Cupcake leaning against Ashley's counter.

"Oh thank God," Monty gasped as we made eye contact. "I was sure you'd back out."

"Nope, nope," I replied unable to help my smile. "I'm here."

"Great, well, Pippa said she was picking someone up and will be here soon," Ashley said. "They're bringing some booze over."

"Wait, what?" I asked surprised. "How?"

"Pippa knows someone who's 21," Ashley replied shrugging. "Guess she's cooler than you," he added causing me to laugh and gracefully show him the middle finger.

I heard a knock at the back door, to which Ashley left to go answer and I went to lean next to Monty and Cupcake.

"I haven't drank in…I dunno when," I confessed vaguely. Actually, I did know when. I haven't had anything to drink with the intention of getting drunk since Alec's party several years ago.

"Well, now's as good a time as any," Monty said putting a hand on my shoulder. "It's just us…at Ash's…we're going to have a good time, yeah?" he somewhat asked as he eyed me out of the corner of his eye.

"Yeah," I assured him.

I had no reason to be nervous. This must be a testament to how secluded I've made myself recently. I really needed to loosen up…

A small group of people I remembered from high school walked in and we made brief pleasantries before I moved over into the living room and pushed the curtain covering the window aside. Sunset wasn't for a little while now, but I still wanted to make sure I could let Jack in whenever he got here.

"Hey, mate," Ashley said from behind me before reaching over my shoulder to close the curtain. "Keep the windows covered. I don't want my neighbors knowing I'm having a party."

"How many people did you invite?" I asked wondering how big this thing was going to get.

"Eh…probably about fifteen will show up," he said. "Not as enormous as a frat party, but…you still understand," he said before excusing himself and moving back into the kitchen.

As he moved back into the kitchen, I heard a lot of cheering and Monty calling Pippa's name, so I assumed she was here with the alcohol.

I made to move back into the kitchen, excited that she had still decided to come. After today, I was glad we could really start to rekindle the old gang again.

"Hey Jamie!" Pippa called as I entered the kitchen again, but my focus was immediately drawn away from her and to a pair of light blue eyes I in no way expected to see here.

"Hi Jamie," Alec called out looking somewhat awkward in a crowd of people he just met.

I probably just stood there stunned and managed to make several choking sounds in my throat as I struggled to mentally figure out what the hell was happening to my life.

"Hey," Pippa said as she came up to me and gave me a hug, After releasing me, she explained, "Alec and I are actually in a class together this semester. When Ashley put out the call for booze, and since Alec is twenty-one, I asked if he was in the area tonight."

She probably could tell from the look on my face that I was not ok with this. I felt humiliated, actually. This was the first time I had seen Alec since he had graduated high school. I had managed to keep the story of what happened between him and I under wraps after transferring schools, and now…now…

"How is everything?" Alec asked obviously trying to be cordial. Everyone else was already digging into the box of various liquors he had brought with him.

"Fine." I answered stiffly, really not caring at the moment that I was acting nothing less than weird. "I'm gonna go…" and I trailed off without actually saying where I was going and just excused myself from the conversation.

Ducking into Ashley's small bathroom, I gripped the edges of the sink and tried to mentally digest what was happening.

Pippa reunited with Alec at college and he just…felt like coming to a party with underage drinkers and nobody he really knew…

Yeah right.

But what did he want here? Was he with Pippa now? I didn't really expect his high school relationship to last. So maybe he was trying to start something with her…

No…Pippa wouldn't not tell me something like that. Not if it was Alec…would she?

Maybe he was here to see me…

And do what? Talk?

_or hook-up?_

Dammit, I hated my mind. There's no way he came here with the expectation that I would do anything with him. Not after everything that had happened.

If he even knew about what happened after he graduated…

Breathing deeply and deciding to end my internal tirade. I flushed the toilet and washed my hands to make it look like I wasn't actually having a mental breakdown, and reunited with the crowd.

Which had definitely grown since I had retreated to the bathroom…

Ashley was right, there was at least fifteen people here, pretty much all from high school. Some I knew more than others. But at least Alec seemed to have left the kitchen area.

Feeling less like I was in a petri dish, I walked over to the counter and proceeded to mix myself a drink of…ah shit. I didn't even know what alcohol I liked.

"I can help you with that if you want," a low, rolling voice sounded from over my shoulder, causing me to practically leap out of my skin.

"Woah, calm down," Monty said, returning his voice to normal. "What's got your panties in a twist?" he asked before reaching over my shoulder to grab a couple bottles and a cup for me.

I could only stand there and shake my head, unable and unwilling to speak out loud.

"What?" Monty asked as he lowered his voice, clearly sensing my discomfort.

"The…uh…" I started to say before turning to face the counter and leaning my hands on it, "The guy I told you about…from my other school."

"The guy Pippa brought?" Monty asked a little louder than I had hoped and I kicked his leg. "That's the guy you like?" he asked his voice returning to a whisper.

Shit…I forgot I had let everyone think I was still hung up on Alec.

"Yeah," I said stiffly. I would have to keep up the charade. "I mean…" I tried to clarify, "Not anymore but…"

"Wow, that's awkward," Monty said thankfully stating the obvious. "Did he know?" he asked.

I shook my head.

I hope Pippa didn't tell him…

"Well…just stick with me," he said trying to brighten me up. "The night just started and it doesn't have to be weird if you don't make it weird."

Hm…I breathed a sigh to relax myself. It was situations like this where I knew that Monty was probably my best friend.

"Come on," he said smiling reassuringly and handing me my drink. "Let's go play a game of pong in the basement."

Monty led me downstairs, where only two other people had migrated to and we initiated a game of beer pong with them. Ashley had a table set up and everything. Except instead of beer, we just filled the cups with water and drank from our mixed drinks.

More people eventually joined us in the basement, Alec included, I personally noted. However, they were all engaged in other conversations. Our game dragged on, mostly because none of us were all that good at it. I got lucky a few times, but the last couple cups were the hardest to sink…

"Mind if I do a celebrity shot?" Alec asked appearing beside Monty and addressing the two of us.

"Uh, yeah sure," Monty obliged before handing him the ping-pong ball and moving aside to leave him room.

Alec took the last shot and landed it in the cup, much to a hearty cheer from Monty and a look of relief from the other team.

"Alright," he said looking at me and I tensed after making eye contact with him again. "If you make this shot," he continued, "You win the game. If not, then they shoot til they miss."

I shrugged, not really caring, and took my shot.

Everyone erupted into cheers of success as I actually made the last shot. Monty high-fived me so hard my hand stung, but I laughed at how excited he was over a stupid game. Then again, he was always pretty competitive.

I laughed and caught Alec's eye who was also smiling at me, relishing in our victory.

"Hey, you two pick this round up, I'll be right back," Monty exclaimed while patting us both on the backs and quickly exiting upstairs before I could even raise my voice to object.

Alec had already started reordering the cups into their original pyramid and another couple took the previous team's place on the other side.

Man…if I knew I would have to defend my title, I would have tried to lose.

The game proceeded on without major conflict. Alec was obviously the more practiced one and made most of the cups.

"Wow, Alec, is your back hurting?" I lamely joked as he made yet another cup.

He snickered slightly before handing me the second ball, which I did manage to sink as well, leaving us with only two remaining cups.

This game was going by a lot faster, but I found it suspicious that Monty still wasn't back yet…Conniving little goblin…

Actually…what time was it anyway?

"Hey, I'm sorry, I gotta go check on something," I quickly excused myself upstairs while pulling out my cellphone. It was 6…the sun was setting.

Turning to go out the front door, I saw the sky was still lit up, but the sun had already fallen below the horizon. The street lights were lit up already and everything. It was probably going to be fully dark pretty soon.

"Jack…" I whispered hoarsely into the air, hopeful that he'd appear out of nowhere like he usually did.

But he didn't emerge…Straining my ears, I listened for that faint ringing sound he emitted, but didn't hear that either. He's got to be close…he's never been late before.

I jumped after hearing the door open behind and my eyes widened after seeing Alec come out. He looked somewhat surprised to see me too, since he paused briefly before opening the glass door and exiting onto the front porch.

"Hey," he said hesitantly as he pulled out a cigarette and a lighter.

"You smoke now?" I asked rhetorically.

"Mhm," he said with the cigarette in his mouth as he held the lighter to the end of it and lit the paper on fire. Puffing a few times to get it going, he reached up to hold it as he exhaled.

"What happened to the game?" I asked remembering our previous engagement.

"We won," he said smirking in a way that was all too familiar.

I smiled and quickly averted my eyes as memories flashed in my head that I preferred not to focus on.

"How are you?" he asked me a little out of the blue.

"Didn't you ask me that already?" I breathed, shifting my weight and leaning against the house.

"Yeah, but you kind of ran away," Alec reminded me and I realized how awkward that was.

"I'm fine," I restated choosing not to elaborate further.

An awkward silence fell upon us as he stood there occasionally puffing on his cigarette.

"What are you doing here?" I asked bluntly, the question that had been lingering in my mind since I saw him.

"It's rude to smoke inside," he explained simply and also avoiding my real question.

"I meant at the party," I pressed, my voice sounding a little cold.

"Pippa asked if I was free tonight and I was," he answered simply.

"Tsch," I tutted, not believing that excuse and kind of pissed he wasn't being straightforward with me.

"She said you'd be here," he elaborated, causing me to look up at him. "I wanted to say I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked a little confused as to why he was apologizing to me.

"I heard what happened after I graduated," he explained and I felt the embarrassment rise as he dug up that skeleton. "And I'm sorry it did. You didn't deserve that."

"It's ancient history," I breathed trying to sound casual, despite the memories of that time still stinging within my chest.

"It was bullshit," he said before turning his head to blow the smoke away from me. "If I had been there…I don't know," he shook his head.

"So you cared about what happened to some freshman in high school after all these years?" I asked still skeptical that he came here just to say that to me.

He shrugged and breathed in before responding. "I always felt that if I had gotten to know you sooner, we'd have been really close."

That…kind of made me feel good. That he really did find our friendship so long ago legitimate and wasn't just being nice to me because he was team captain.

Although there was one question that was still left unanswered.

"Are you gay?" I asked as bluntly as possible. There really was no polite way to go about it.

He simply smiled at me and said sardonically, "Of course not. I go to a Catholic University."

I hung my head and laughed silently. He lived a lot more complicated life than I originally thought.

"Why?"

"Why what?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Why did you go to a Catholic University if…" I trailed off.

He shrugged and replied, "My family were all alumni from there. And they're paying for my tuition so…"

"Mm…" I sounded in understanding.

"What about you?" he asked almost equally as vaguely.

"I go to State," I responded thinking he was asking about where I went to school.

He laughed lightly and clarified, "No. Are you bent?"

"I'm…bi," I said out loud for the first time ever. It kind of felt good… "At least as far as I know."

"Well," he stated trying to reroute the subject. "Thanks for talking to me. I always felt really guilty for causing that to happen to you."

"You didn't…" I tried to say.

But Alec interrupted, "I did though. I could have said no to that stupid dare, and I could have stood up for you when I saw the shit that Mikey and those assholes were giving you."

I pressed my lips together and looked over his shoulder. I didn't blame him at all for those guys bullying me. But thinking back…I would have appreciated having an ally.

"There was no reason for you to take all the heat," he continued, "And you shouldn't have been forced out like that either."

"It worked out," I replied. "But…thanks," I added gratefully.

He smiled kindly at me and I smiled back. I guess I was happy after all that he ended up coming. It gave me a little bit of closure…

Then, a flicker over his shoulder caught my attention. I looked up to see the streetlamp at the end of the street go out.

He looked behind him to see what had my attention so hard. Seeing nothing, he turned around and asked, "What's up, Jamie?"

My eyes widened when I saw the next streetlamp go out.

Then the next one.

And another one.

"Get inside," I whispered, my breath shaking like crazy.

"What?!" Alec asked growing anxious after hearing the fear in my voice.

"Go." I ordered reaching out to pull open the glass door as more and more streetlights went out as then led up to us.

Charging inside and shutting the wooden door behind us, I locked it just as the lights in the house went out.

I heard some surprised screams in the basement from being plunged into darkness and Ashley calling something out about a flashlight.

My breaths were shaking rapidly. My skin was crawling. I stood frozen, listening and waiting to discern where they were. This had to be them….it had to be.

"Give me your lighter," I ordered Alec in the darkness. I knew they didn't like fire…

He handed it to me and I flicked it on, holding it up to observe my surroundings. Alec also pulled out his phone to use its light.

I heard thumping come up the stairs as Ashley emerged.

"Hey all," he said clearly unconcerned. "My flashlight's upstairs. I'll be right back," he said turning around me to head upstairs.

Then I heard it.

A hum.

A really, really deep hum.

"Ash!" I called after him before charging two steps at a time after him.

My hand trembling so much it was hard to hold the lighter, I followed his lead through his upper story. The hum much louder up here.

"Ash?" I asked again, wondering why the hell he wasn't answering.

I turned into one of the rooms to check if he was in there, but saw no sign of him.

I turned around to be met with a pair of eyes, and they stared at me gleefully, the rest of its body shrouded in darkness.

I screamed and fell backwards as something burned into the back of my hand, the pain blitzing its way across my skin.

"Jamie!" Ashley called as he ran into the room, the presence disappearing as quickly as it had come. Soon after, the lights in the house turned back on.

I sat on the floor in shock clutching at my hand, not even hearing Ashley or Alec's voices as they rushed into the room.

Only one horrific thought echoed in my mind…

They found me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Oh goodness...**
> 
> **So part of the reason why I had issues with this story,**
> 
> **was because I know what happens next.**
> 
> **And I was having trouble trying to bridge the gap.**
> 
> **But come on, Jack! Rescue the poor bloke!**
> 
> **If you want to cheer this story on, leave a comment and let me know! ;D**


	18. Ch 17: Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **..**
> 
> **Hi Babes!**
> 
> **Again, so sorry for infrequent updates.**
> 
> **I seriously only have three hours to myself by the time I get home from work.**
> 
> **I had to write most of this while on public transportation. #noshame**
> 
> **Ergo...I gave you all an extra helping again. Nice, long chapter.**
> 
> **With a little extra somethin', somethin'. ;D**
> 
> **Please enjoy!**

Closer

**~B~**

"jamie..."

_ringing_

"JAMIE!" Ashley's voice pierced through the cloud engulfing my senses.

"what?" my voice a whisper.

"Jamie? What the fuck?" Ashley's voice again. Sound was murky. Like everything was far away.

A hand fell on my forehead. It was hot.

"Jamie, **breathe** ," the muffled voice commanded.

_ringing_

I obeyed, but not by choice. My body was listening, but my head was...unfocused.

They found me.

My hand…

Raising my hand, I looked at the back. The room was bright again. The light was on.

Nothing there…

"Jamie!" a muffled voice called again. Behind me…

Turning my head, I saw the snow-white hair through the window from my position on the floor. Jack? Jack was…

"JAMIE!" Ashley again. This time shaking my shoulders.

My head turned back to steady myself. The shaking made my head swim.

"I need air," I said, trying to focus my eyes. Too many shadows…

A click from behind me and a seeping of cold air brushed my back.

"Jamie," Jack's voice. I felt him beside me. Cold.

"Jamie, why don't we take you home?" Ashley's voice offered.

"Tell him no," Jack's voice commanded next to me.

My head shook slowly. "Just need some sleep," I murmured.

"You sure you didn't hit your head?" Ashley's voice again. "You fainted."

_Did I?_

"My head feels fine."

"I don't want you dying from a concussion," Ashley added.

"I didn't hit my head," I repeated, staring at the floor. Jack didn't want me to go. I needed to convince Ashley I didn't need a doctor or my mother.

I raised my eyes to meet his, praying that they weren't rolling around in my skull. Ashley was kneeling in front of me, his eyes worried. Focusing over his shoulder, I saw Alec, also worried.

"Can you get Monty?" I asked, intentionally sounding a little pathetic. I needed to sound sick...no...drunk. I was drinking. My mania was caused by alcohol. Not…

_Those eyes._

I swallowed with difficulty and watched Ashley look over his shoulder at Alec, who promptly left the doorway and I heard quick footsteps descend down the staircase.

_More ringing._

Looking behind me again, I saw... Sandy?

"Jamie." Ashley repeated, commanding my attention.

"Can I lay down?" I asked swallowing a few more times. I was drunk. I was drunk. Just had to convince him that was it.

Ashley sighed, but grabbed my arm to help me up. My legs wobbled. I felt weak.

Leading me to what must have been his bed, I laid down on top of the comforter. I felt Jack's coldness sink next to my right arm.

Moments later, Monty appeared in the doorway. Also worried.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I don't know. He just fucking freaked out," Ashley replied. "He fainted I think. Found him on the floor when the lights went on. He was clammy and hyperventilating."

Monty looked at me with a question in his eye, and I think he read my thoughts, because he then asked, "Hey Ash, run down and grab him a glass of water. I'll take it from here."

Ashley nodded before ducking out of his room, Monty shutting the door behind him.

"What happened?" he asked while turning around. "You look like you're having a panic attack."

Panic...attack...huh.

"I used to get them sometimes," he continued. "Is it hard to breathe?"

I nodded, just now realizing that I had a fist pressed against my sternum. My chest did feel tight.

"Focus on taking long, deep breaths," he continued while gently sitting on the bed next to me, paying no attention to Jack. "Inhale," he commanded and I did so. "1, 2, 3, 4" he counted as I inhaled. "Now breath out," he said once he reached 10. I exhaled and he counted backwards.

Ashley arrived with the water after that. He handed it to Monty and asked, "Is he going to be alright?"

"Yeah," Monty answered, "He'll be fine. He should probably rest in here though. I'll take care of him."

"Alright," Ashley replied, but hesitated a little unsurely in the doorway. "Let me know if he needs anything."

"Sure thing," Monty responded. After Ashley left and shut the door, he turned back to me. "Keep breathing with me," he coaxed quietly, his eyes carefully monitoring me. I followed his counting until my chest didn't feel so tight.

"Better?" he asked as I glanced up at him. He smiled reassuringly.

I nodded in response.

"Was that your first one?" he asked.

I nodded again.

"I figured as much," he said before handing me the water. "Here, drink this. Once the alcohol wears off, you'll feel better."

Doubted it…

I reached for the water and sat up a little to drink it. Glancing up, Jack was watching me intensely, and I could almost feel the impatience buzzing through him. Wait a minute...I looked closely at his face for the first time tonight. His lip was busted and his eye was black. What…?

"Can I just get some sleep?" I asked quietly while pausing mid-drink. I couldn't talk to Jack unless Monty left.

"Drink that first," Monty insisted, nodding toward the glass. Obediently, I swallowed down the water, making me suddenly realize how thirsty I was. "Alright," Monty complied as he stood up and took the glass from me. I figured he'd understand. "You have your phone on you?" he checked.

I nodded.

"Good," he replied. "If you need anything, don't be afraid to call me or text me. I'll come right up."

I nodded for the upteenth time.

As he was leaving, he shut the window and moved toward the switch. I requested one thing. "Don't turn off the light…"

Monty paused, but simply nodded and opened the door.

The minute he left, Jack exploded.

"Jamie! What happened? Are you alright? Are you hurt?" he babbled as he crouched over me, straddling my lap and taking my face in his cool hands. His hands felt good...I looked up into his eyes and saw how worried he looked. What was wrong?

Remembering Sandy was in the room, I turned my head to look at him. The golden, glowing man was standing across from the bed, watching me solemnly. Unlike Jack, he didn't appear to be injured.

He stared at me for a moment. For what reason, I couldn't discern. His golden eyes switched to Jack, who seemed to remember it wasn't normal to sit on people, and swiftly hopped off me and stood up.

"What happened to you?" my voice rasped out of my throat. It didn't sound like mine.

"The Fearlings…" Jack started, glancing sideways at Sandy and hesitating before continuing. "A good twelve of them surrounded me. Cowards," he sneered as he reached for his staff. "I could have taken them if they hadn't jumped me."

Sandy gave him a hard look that seemed to cut into his confidence, for he added, "Fortunately Sandy was in the area. Between the two of us, we were able to chase them off. But what happened to _you_?" he asked before narrowing his eyes at me. Studying me. "Why did you panic?"

I stared speechless at him for a minute. It all happened so fast. What even happened?

Remembering the street lights, I reiterated what I had seen. The lights going out. The deep hum from upstairs. The eyes. My hand burning.

A few symbols popped above Sandy's head, presumably from something I said, and Jack turned to him and explained, "He can hear us when we're close. A ringing he said...but this was a hum?" he asked while looking at me.

I nodded in confirmation.

Jack's eyes quickly switched down to my hand, which I hadn't even realized I had been scratching at.

Reaching out, Jack gestured for me to give him my hand, which I complied, and he slowly turned it over, touching it, and studying it for any defects. Sandy meandered over and did the same. The skin was red...probably from me clawing at it. But the skin wasn't broken and neither was it blistering from a burn.

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

"No," I replied honestly.

He didn't quite seem satisfied with that answer, for he tilted my hand up and leaned down to gently kiss it, a small burst of cold popping from his lips and soothing the surface of my skin.

Sandy seemed to object to that for he hopped over and started signing something to Jack, whose eyebrows furrowed and he immediately countered, "I'm not that weak. It doesn't take much energy to heal a burn." He glanced back at me and then to Sandy, "Are we taking him to the North Pole?"

Sandy vigorously shook his head and signed something else to him.

"What are you talking about?!" Jack almost yelled. "He's not a threat! Don't you even start to berate me about keeping him safe, when you won't even let him go to the North Pole right now!"

Sandy argued back with him and Jack only seemed to get angrier, "Fine! Then forget the Guardians. My job doesn't matter unless he's safe!" he yelled while thrusting a finger toward me. My eyes widened and I saw as his other hand tightened around his staff and the room quickly chilled.

Sandy glanced between Jack and me as I lay helplessly on the bed. What the hell was going on?

Finally, the golden man silently sighed, giving in to whatever Jack was talking about. He signed a few more things to him, to which Jack merely nodded in a silent agreement, his eyes sternly glaring down at the short man. After that, Sandy gave Jack two small bags, one golden and one burlap. Jack held them both and rested his hand on his hip. Sandy looked up at him as if troubled. Maybe...regretful? However, Jack continued to glare daggers at him and the little man silently sighed and turned to me, nodding once, before dissolving into a swirl of sand and whisking himself out the window.

"What's going on?" I asked immediately after he left.

"We're not sure," Jack started, his voice low and his eyes still transfixed on the window. "But Sandy doesn't want to take any chances and have the Fearlings infiltrating the North Pole."

"How would they do that?" I asked, purposefully keeping my voice low so no one could hear me.

"I don't know," Jack replied bitterly, finally turning to me, his expression softening. "But Sandy doesn't want to risk it after you were exposed to them. So...I'm not leaving your side anymore."

"But you're a Guardian..."

"It doesn't matter," Jack said before returning to his position on my lap and cupping my face in his hands. He leaned over until our noses were nearly touching and said, "None of that matters if it means losing you."

I couldn't really say what was going on with my face. My cheeks felt hot, but my eyes were swimming at the same time. What surprised me even more was when I felt Jack's lips against my own.

In spite of my previous state of shock, I was surprisingly receptive. Without missing a beat, I breathed into him and moved my lips against his. So he did care about losing me after all...Perhaps he did love me...

As he kissed me, I felt relief, love, and comfort cut through the fog in my head. The realities of tonight dissipating for just a brief moment. I also felt the swelling of his lip and the roughness of his injury. Pulling away, I looked up at him, needing to ask, "Are you going to be ok?"

"What? These things?" Jack cooley gestured to the cut on his lip and the darkness around his eye, but then his face turned soft, as if remembering he was talking to me and added, "I'll be fine...I would have normally healed by now if I hadn't exhausted myself."

A new realization clicked in my head. "You…you can run out of magic?" I asked not really knowing if I was making sense.

"I guess…" he said as he got that scrunched look he would usually get when trying to explain something about his physiology to me, "I get tired in the same way you would get tired from running. It takes a heck of a lot for me to get to that point but…" he trailed off sardonically referring to his distaste from the Fearlings ambushing him, "But I'll recover," he reassured. "Especially if I'm around you."

"Why's that?" I asked feeling somewhat flattered and my smile probably giving myself away.

"Couldn't say," Jack said as he smiled back, a dimple forming on his right cheek. "Maybe it's because you're my first believer, maybe you're my strongest believer...or maybe it's just because of how you make me feel," he finished while bashfully coughing into his hand.

I smiled at him for a moment, relieved and comforted to have him here by me. But my smile faltered after remembering his response to Sandy and I frowned.

"Do you think I'm a threat?" I asked, the fear rolling in my gut. If Sandy was worried enough to be wary of me... Sandy...the strongest and oldest of all the Guardians...could I actually hurt them?

"No," he whispered while shaking his head and leaning forward to gently kiss my hairline. He pressed his forehead back against mine, his eyes consuming all of my vision, bright and blue like the sky. "And you know that I'll protect you no matter what, right?"

I nodded and smiled a little, this time more strained. I knew that Jack would do anything for me. Even if it meant abandoning the Guardians. Forsaking his other believers...it was a pretty high price for him to pay. But I'd be damned if I wasn't selfishly relieved to hear it.

"What's in the bags?" I asked referring to the two small, cloth sacks that Sandy had entrusted to him.

"Dreamsand and a snow globe," he replied while straightening back up. Odd…

However, natural exhaustion was stinging the backs of my eyes and I figured I'd inquire more tomorrow.

"Will the dreamsand keep me hidden?" I asked while yawning. "Even though they know where I am?"

"Sandy says it will," Jack said, although I detected doubt in his answer. "But I'll also be with you the entire time," he added.

I smiled and rolled on my side and snuggled into the pillow. The pillow still smelled like Ash, but I didn't mind the shampoo he used. As Jack sprinkled the dreamsand into my eyes, I felt the lingering fear start to ebb away as sleep pulled me into my dreams.

…

…

I descended the staircase from Ashley's bedroom to see the remaining people who had stayed the whole night. Shit...I was hoping that I could sneak out while they were all still in a drunk-induced coma.

"Hey, Jamie, how are you feeling?" Monty asked as I rounded the hallway, having decided to show myself knowing that they heard me come down. I saw Monty, Ashley, and a third person whose name was escaping me sitting around Ashley's kitchen table while Pippa and Alec were on the stools along his kitchen counter. Bags of chips, cups, and bottles were messily strewn across the various surfaces, the sink filled haphazardly with dishes from drunken laziness. However, the sun was bright and I squinted my eyes to adjust to the light.

I paused in the hallway, trying to discern from their faces whether they considered me to be batshit insane or not after last night. Whether they even knew what happened or not. They all seemed much too focused on my presence.

"Fine," I answered bluntly, before trying to casually change the subject. "You're all up early," I commented. Truthfully, it wasn't that early, it was nine o'clock. It was only early considering they were probably up most of the night.

"We all just kind of woke up," Ashley explained as he casually sipped from a glass of water. "Must have been hungry. We were actually thinking of going out to breakfast if you wanted to join."

I was hungry, but I also felt like crawling into a hole. "Nah, I'm alright. I need to probably get home anyway," I nonchalantly declined while turning my body as if to leave.

"Let me give you a ride at least," Alec offered as he pushed out his bar stool and stood up.

I hesitated, the need to bury myself growing ever stronger. "It's fine," I muttered, "I only live a couple streets over."

"Come on Jamie," Pippa insisted as she rested her chin on her folded hands. "We just want to make sure you're alright."

I stood there awkwardly, not really certain why it had to be Alec. He was the last person I wanted to share a confined space with, regardless how short a time it would be for. I had embarrassed myself in front of him enough for one lifetime. However, he must have taken my hesitation as an affirmative answer, since he pulled his keys out of his jeans pocket and started walking towards me and the hallway.

I remained still and allowed him to breeze past me, grabbing his coat off the hook by the door as he went. I watched him go, painfully aware of everyone's eyes still on me, before sighing and reaching up to grab my own coat and follow him out the door.

The cold winter air caressed my face and chilled my nose. Turning my coat collar up to protect my neck, I strained my ears to listen. I knew Jack was nearby, he promised he'd stay near me after all.

The beep of Alec's car unlocking jarred me back to my current situation, and I trotted down Ashley's walkway to my undesired chauffeur, who was waiting for me in his black Jetta. Nice car...

Shutting the door beside me with a soft _thump_ , I buckled my seatbelt and leaned back in the seat, making it a point to stare straight ahead at Ashley's garage.

Alec seemed to take a hint and wordlessly started his car and backed out of the driveway. He actually didn't say a word the entire ride back to my house either, which I would say I was ok with. Except…

"How do you know where I live?" I asked somewhat suspiciously.

"I didn't. I picked Pippa up and she said you're right across from her," he answered and the answer suddenly seemed so obvious I could have slapped myself.

He pulled into my driveway and despite my desire to dramatically exit the vehicle and disappear into my house, I didn't want to embarrass myself any more than I already had.

"Thanks for the ride," I said while crossing my arms and still choosing to stare straight ahead.

"No problem," he answered simply, also staring at the windshield.

After about thirty seconds, I decided I had given him enough time and moved to unbuckle myself.

"Look, Jamie," he said just as I put my hand on the door handle, "You don't have to be embarrassed about last night."

_Too late…_

"But I was being serious when I said if things had been different, I think we would have been good friends," his voice softening, his words giving me pause. I looked over at him for the first time since I had entered the car. His blonde, choppy hair practically glowing in the sunlight. He smiled a half-smile before continuing, "I'm not...It's not like I'll see you much anyway...All I'm saying is...if you ever need just...someone else to talk to, feel free to hit me up."

I sat there stunned. He was inviting me to call him? I...It's not like I had a wealth of experience to go off of, but was he actually coming on to me?

For some reason in my astonished state, the only reasonable response I managed to exude was, "I don't think I have your number anymore."

He smiled, his expression noticeably more relaxed considering my overly polite subconscious wasn't rude enough to give him a straight 'no thanks'.

"I'll text it to you," he replied before putting his foot on the break and switching the car into reverse, signaling he was ready to go.

I sat there staring at him longer than the situation probably called for and my mind briefly flashed back to when we had kissed. Usually the memory stung from knowing the consequences that had followed; however, now...I could only think of how much I had enjoyed it.

Mentally smacking myself, I turned my body and left the car without another word.

"What was that about?" Jack asked from above me, probably lounging on that tree he liked.

I put my hands in my pockets and waited to answer as Alec pulled out of my driveway and drove off.

"He was trying to make amends," I answered quietly, always a little paranoid about others overhearing me talk to nothing.

"What did he do?" Jack asked as he floated weightlessly down beside me, his head craning forward to try and catch my gaze, but I averted my eyes.

"He was my first kiss," I said before turning and walking toward my house. I didn't want to keep thinking about it. I didn't want to talk to Jack about it either.

"Jamie, hang on…" I heard him say, but I cut him off.

"Meet me in my bedroom," I ordered, in hindsight a little too gruffly. It wasn't Jack's fault I was in a bad mood. It wasn't Alec's fault either. Mostly I was irritated with myself.

My mood wasn't improved when, after entering my front door, I saw my mom. I really didn't want to explain anything to her either...but...oh my god that smell. Was she making...pancakes?

"Hey Jamie," she said cheerfully, making me furrow my brows skeptically.

"Why are you making breakfast?" I snickered while kicking off my boots and removing my coat.

She rolled her eyes and smiled at me while pouring more batter into the pan. "I figured I'd make you at least one meal before you get your wisdom teeth out tomorrow."

Oh right...that was tomorrow already. I was able to extend my Thanksgiving Break an extra day in order to go to the dentist. My mom was going to drive me back to school Tuesday morning.

"They said I should still be able to eat," I said as I walked into the kitchen to stand beside her.

"Yeah...well," she said as she shook the pan, a pile of finished pancakes already steaming off a plate on the counter. My mouth watered. "I miss being able to be your mom," she said shrugging a little.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, but I appreciated the love. My mother was such a sap sometimes.

"Thanks mom," I said, leaning in to kiss her cheek, before reaching up to grab a plate out of the cupboard. "Is Sophie awake?"

"She should be coming down soon. If not, I'll go get her in a minute," she said as she scraped the remaining batter out of the bowl and into the pan.

"Wow," I said as I turned to the adjacent counter, "You cut up fruit and everything?" I exclaimed as I eyed the assorted fresh berries and bananas she had cut up and laid out.

"Think of it as me spoiling you to convince you to visit more often," she said slyly while turning around to wink at me.

"Mission accomplished…" I replied as I generously loaded up my plate. Despite my mother often working a lot and not being able to cook fresh meals for us...she was a really good cook. Her buttermilk pancakes were on point. "Does this mean you're working today?" I asked to clarify. She normally got Sundays off and she made it sound like this was the only meal she could cook today.

"Mhm," she confirmed as she started cleaning up the dishes. "I needed to so I can take care of you tomorrow."

I snorted and sat down to dig into my food. Of course she was looking forward to mothering me in my drugged up, complacent state. Speaking of which…

"Will they have to put me under anesthesia tomorrow?" I asked somewhat concerned, the worry melting away somewhat as I took a bite of my breakfast. I shuddered. So good…

"They often do," my mom answered glancing up at me from the sink. "The doctor said your teeth aren't impacted, so you should heal fairly quickly. Maybe be a little sore for a day or two, but you should be able to eat ok with some pain medication."

"Yeah but…" I started considering how to properly phrase my question, "Can they just use laughing gas and a local anesthetic?" I hadn't yet thought about the ramifications of possibly being put under by something other than the dreamsand. I would in all technicality be asleep if they drugged me…

"You can ask them," my mom answered as she looked up at me with obvious concern. "Are you worried about it?"

"No! Nah…" I replied trying to shake her unwarranted concern while perhaps a little too vigorously sawing through the delicate pancakes. "Where's Sophie?" I asked while shoving a forkful into my mouth and hastily trying to change the subject. I really wasn't in the mood for a lecture or explanation on how anesthesia or dental procedures worked.

"I'll go get her," my mom smiled at me encouragingly before turning to head upstairs.

…

…

I waited for my mom to leave for work before I deemed it safe to retreat to my room. Sophie, to my astonishment, was going over a friend's house for the day. It made me relieved to hear that she wasn't pushing her friends away anymore.

However, after walking into my room, I felt a touch of disappointment when I saw that Jack wasn't there. Even after opening my window and calling his name he didn't answer…

I left the window open a crack so he could slip in when he was ready, much to my mother's constant frustration. I was single-handedly driving up the heating bill. While I was waiting, I decided it best to shower off my shame and change out of the clothes I was wearing for over a day now.

The water and steam felt good...sometimes I just liked to relax in the shower and soak in the warmth of everything. It also usually gave me a chance to think, which I nowadays had a lot to think about.

My embarrassment with Alec was the first thing I grappled with. Maybe he was right, if things had gone differently, maybe we would have been close. We might have even dated, I dunno. But I was going to put his offer aside. He wasn't in my life anymore. Jack was. Jack was the only person who mattered to me like that…

Except he wasn't a person. And that thought always made time stand still when I dwelled on it. I was in love with ghost. Merely an idea in most people's minds. No matter how real he was to me...no one else could see him.

Did that really matter to me though? I could see him. I could touch him even. I could…

_Argh...Jamie!_

The memory of his moan caused a shudder to run down my spine and my stomach to clench. I found myself imagining his body in front of me again. The cool smoothness of his skin… How I made him tremble and whine…

I involuntarily reached down to grab myself, but stopped once I remembered my more pressing situation.

I was being tracked. Or monitored, or...I wasn't sure. I swore I had felt something burn my hand...but why do that? What was the point…

I looked down as if to check on my phantom burn, but instead, in the warm light of the shower, I saw the faint shimmer of...a snowflake across the flat surface of my hand. I reached with my other hand and gingerly touched it, tracing the lines as if expecting them to smudge. Despite the hot water streaming against my back and the steam of the shower, my hand was cool…

Strange. Was that Jack's magic left over?

Deciding I had spent enough time soaking in my own thoughts, I shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, rubbing my head with the towel and drying myself off.

I wondered if Jack had come back yet…

I quickly brushed my teeth and wrapped the plush towel around myself. As I did so, I glanced down at my hand again, turning it against the light to see the faint whiteness of the snowflake. It was almost like a tattoo...a tattoo several shades lighter than my skin tone. I'd have to ask him about it.

I flicked off the switch and- Huh?

Quickly flipping the light on, I glanced at the mirror to see myself staring back at me, wide-eyed and startled. I felt...anxious. It was like I saw something along the edges of my vision…just for a second.

I was just freaking myself out for no reason. Shaking my head, I left the bathroom and walked back into my room.

Shit it was freezing in here...the temperature difference between the bathroom and my open window bedroom was stark.

However, I was happy (maybe relieved?) to see Jack perched on the frame of my bed with one knee up as he, probably impatiently, waited for me to come back. Although, I could see that his injuries were almost gone in comparison to last night...

"What took you so long?" he asked, his eyebrows scrunching together. Oops…I could tell he was annoyed. I moved over to shut the window and remembered how much of a dick I was being when I came home. A wave of regret suddenly sank in.

"I'm sorry," I apologized as I turned to face him and took a few steps toward him. "I was embarrassed about last night and didn't really want to see Alec again…I shouldn't have been so short with you."

Sitting on my bedpost, he was actually a little taller than me. I found myself needing to tilt my head up a little to look into his eyes, which to my relief immediately relaxed.

"It's alright," he said quietly, "You had a rough night."

I breathed a laugh and looked down. That was definitely an understatement. Then I remembered my hand.

"What's this?" I asked while holding up my right hand, the snowflake glistening even more vividly in the sunlight.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he stared at my swiveling hand.

"The snowflake on the back," I clarified, turning it to show him.

"Oh…" he said as his eyes widened a little. "You can see that?"

"Yeah," I said while holding it up at the best angle. "Is it from your magic?"

"I guess...no one's ever told me they could see them before," he said, his eyes growing distant as if focusing on a thought.

I didn't mean to bring down his mood… "Maybe it means I'm more connected to your magic," I suggested innocently.

That statement seemed to zap him back, and a corner of his mouth pulled up in a small smile. "Yeah, maybe…"

I watched as his eyes pulled away from my face and flickered down my body...me growing suddenly aware I was still standing there in my towel and my self-consciousness kicked in.

Feeling my cheeks heating up, I turned away from him and hastily pulled on some underwear and a pair of jeans in the security of the corner of my room.

"Jamie?" I heard him ask hesitantly from my bed as I pulled a shirt over my head.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hearing the concern tenor in his voice.

I turned around to face him, and he didn't answer me, choosing only instead to watch me carefully. Almost as if he was expecting me to speak first. My eyes glanced at his jaw, wondering if I had seen it...tremble? As if sensing my gaze, he bit his lower lip and looked off to the side and I felt the temperature in my room drop slightly.

"I thought I'd lost you…" he murmured, his voice cracking on the final syllable.

I couldn't resist if I had tried, my body was rushing forward to grab his before I had time to think. I heard the pain that was starting to well up, the memories I knew he worked so hard to suppress. I grabbed him off my bedpost and pulled him into my chest, his body unnaturally light, He wrapped his legs around my hips and his arms around my shoulders, squeezing me as if he never wanted to let me go.

"You're afraid something is going to happen to me…" I murmured close to his ear. He said nothing, only squeezed his arms around me a little tighter, after which I finally understood. He was afraid of the Fearlings after all...he was afraid of losing me to them. I wished I could tell him that I'd be ok, but I was afraid too. I had no way of knowing…

Dread finally sunk into my bones. All this time, I had assumed that the power of the Guardians would keep me safe. But at the same time, I hardly knew what I was being kept safe from. And...holding Jack like this...he felt...breakable. If it weren't for Sandy yesterday...who knew what would have happened to him.

Needing to see his face, and also wanting to pry him off me before his emotions gave me frostbite, I moved over to the bed and laid us both down on it, him lying alongside me. I admired the sunlight that shone off him like snow… His face was, however, grim. Obviously still upset from last night.

"I need you to tell me everything…" I said firmly, his gaze looking up and betraying his anxiety. "I need to know exactly what I'm up against," I finished. This was all true. Jack had told me the Fearlings were after me, but avoided going into much more detail than that. I barely understood what they even were.

Jack pursed his lips, his jaw clenching in hesitation. I lost myself in the faint, crystalline reflections of his irises, only visible in sunlight and when I was this close. His breathing slow, but shallow as he thought. Finally he started, "Do you know why you exist, Jamie?"

_What?_

"No," I answered honestly, totally unsure of where this was going. "I don't think anyone does."

"I thought you were religious," he commented, rubbing the fabric of my bedsheet between his fingers.

"I am…but I still don't know what my purpose is," I explained. "A lot of people say they know the answers but...I don't think anyone can truly _know_."

He smiled a little at my answer and continued, "It's a question you don't need to find the answer to, but me being what I am, I've always found myself wondering." I held still, not wanting to interrupt his train of thought. "My world is different from your world," he continued, his eyes focusing past my shoulder again, lost in thought. "They're linked, but not the same. It's why people stop being able to see us. It's why I can't touch or feel or even have weight in the same way that you do…"

My lips were dry and I realized I was breathing quiet breaths through my mouth. I didn't know what any of this had to do with the Fearlings, but-

"Our existence is dependent on humans," he continued. "And humanity depends on us."

Now he lost me. "I don't understand…" I said.

"Our centers," he continued, his eyes crossing a little as he seemed to struggle to come up with an explanation. "They're all parts of what makes you human. They're a part of what guides humanity in one direction or another."

I remembered some of their centers. Jack was the Guardian of Fun. North was the Guardian of Wonder. Sandy, the Guardian of Dreams. Bunny, of Hope. And the Toothfairy...I forgot what the Toothfairy was the Guardian of…

But Jack interrupted my thought, "But the world exists in a balance. As much as we try to teach humans about fun and wonder and hope… there are creatures that want to bring humans down a different path."

"The Fearlings," I murmured, hoping I was catching on.

He nodded. "Among others...but they're the biggest threat right now and the oldest...the most primal."

"But what are they trying to do?" I pushed. He still wasn't answering my question. I needed to know how I was in danger and what I was in danger of.

Jack's voice fell to barely above a whisper, "Fear is only the first step… Fear can make a good person do terrible things. As much as humans have the capacity to be gentle and loving and caring...they can be just as violent...and cruel...and selfish. Too much fear...and humans will destroy one another."

So...the Fearlings made people afraid, heightened their fear. I felt as though I understood...When people are afraid, they react with violence...or even learn to hate. At its core, fear has caused some of the worst catastrophes the world has ever seen.

"But why do they care about _me_?" I asked.

Jack smiled, albeit coldly. "That brings us back to my first question. It's something humans consider, but never discover. Though...when you're practically immortal, you tend to think about it more."

"Why you exist..." I clarified, impatient for his answer.

"I never found that answer," he smiled that forced smile again. "Maybe that's why we 'find' our centers. Maybe... we end up making our own purposes for existing. Or maybe we're just manifestations of humanity, as dependent on you as much as a part of you."

So Guardians and humans are...urgh my head hurt. He wasn't making a lot of sense.

"That's why the Fearlings and those aligned with them are so dangerous," his voice falling to a whisper again. "No one's immune to them. They only need to make you tap into the parts of yourself that are locked away. If it ever becomes too much...you could become one of them or worse."

Worse? I could only imagine how much worse it could be. I knew from history how ruthless people were..

I swallowed with a little difficulty, feeling the anxiety creep back in. "How can I stop it?" I asked, my voice thick.

Jack's face became...sad in that moment, almost desperate. He reached over and cool fingers touched my cheek.

"Promise me you won't lose yourself…" he murmured.

He was afraid...Suddenly I found myself feeling less and less safe. Before, I thought as long as I had Jack's and the Guardians' protection, I would be fine. But if even he was scared…

"I'll try…" I whispered back.

He breathed a sigh that I could tell was heavy with despair. I could feel his fear as if it were my own, but at the same time, I was reassured by the feeling of his cool hand on my face. I secretly begged that he wouldn't pull away…

But he didn't. Instead, he relaxed his hand on my cheek, laying it to caress my jaw and stroking a lock of my hair between his fingers. The gentleness calmed me down and I felt as he fell into a quiet repose. My breaths grew deeper and I almost felt like I could sleep. After a while, his fingers trailed through my hair and moved down my neck, tracing my collarbone.

"I think I understand now," he added. I opened my eyes to meet his. The sunlight shone brilliantly through his snow white hair and made his irises sparkle. If eyes were windows to the soul...then his held the vastness and freedom of the sky. I lost myself in him. Then as he carefully ran a finger along my throat, I felt my heart starting to thud against my chest again.

"Understand what?" I asked as I swallowed, resisting the desire to close my eyes and disappear from the dark reality that haunted me. So that I could remain here, with this memory of him near me in my dreams forever.

"Why you like sex," he stated, blunt as usual. "I think I understand why you're obsessed with it."

Fuck...we were going to have this conversation, huh.

Flopping onto my back, my eyes rolled up to the ceiling as I mentally tried to sort through my thoughts. I pinched the bridge of my nose and attempted to come up with yet another way of explaining it to him without sounding pathetic or perverse.

But he continued without me, "I felt...close to you. Closer than I ever thought I could feel to another person," he said quietly as he lay to the left of me. I kept my eyes on the ceiling, but listened carefully to everything he had to say. "Like I could feel what you felt...knew what you wanted...I want to keep feeling that. It's...it's so much better than being alone."

My heart ached and I turned my head to see him watching me nervously. I smiled in an attempt at reassuring him. "I'm not going anywhere," I promised in spite of the uncertainty that surrounded us. He smiled half-heartedly back and I found myself needing to mend whatever hurt he felt. "I really want to kiss you right now," I murmured as my eyes met his.

A corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk and he answered, "You don't have to ask anymore, bud."

My smile broadened and I scoot toward him, closing off the space between us and placing my hand to gently hold the back of his head. He tilted his head to kiss me slowly, almost as if he wanted this to be our only reality too. No worries or fear. Just the feeling of us. Never wanting this feeling to end.

He opened his mouth and offered me his tongue, which I readily accepted, a little surprised how bold he had gotten, but I sighed into how he tasted and knew I would never tire of it. Cool and...brisk. Like a winter morning.

Trailing my tongue along his lower lip, I felt him shudder. "It's not too much, is it?" I asked in concern. The room was plenty cool, but I knew how much warmth could bother him unless he was used to it.

He didn't even answer me, instead he pushed himself back into me, tracing his cool tongue along my lip in return, barely grazing it across mine, before we slowly started to deepen the kiss. My plan was to take it slow and measure his reaction, but then his tongue slid across mine again and I started to lose myself. It was all so sensual that I already knew blood was rushing to my groin and all I wanted was to move faster and closer.

His hands fell to grip onto my collar, our legs crossing and tangling together as he pulled me into him. I tried to slow my mind down, curb my eagerness, because I wanted to remember every moment I had with him. I wanted to draw from his strength, bask in his power...and I felt like he wanted to do the same with me. Despite his reign over ice and snow, he was addicted to my warmth. I could tell from the way he buried himself against me, almost as if our proximity still wasn't enough. Before I knew it, we were pressing against one another, jaws opening, and it was getting harder and harder to resist the urge to grind. Through my shirt, I could feel that his fingertips still felt like ice from his previous anxiety. Pulling away from kissing him, I reached up to extract one of his hands and held it up to my mouth, breathing warm air onto it to gradually warm him up. I felt his body shiver and I glanced over to check on his expression, but he was watching me in anticipation, biting his lower lip a little. Deciding to push my boundaries, I took two of his fingers into my mouth, the cold melting away and I heard him audibly gasp alongside me.

I flicked my tongue teasingly against his fingertips until they had fully warmed up. I purposefully wasn't meeting his gaze, but I could feel him watching me intently. I wondered if he thought this was sexy or if I was just acting weird.

Deciding to test my theory, I took his fingers to the back of my throat and felt him buck his hips into me, making me involuntarily release something of a moan. He liked the feeling of my tongue on him… I soon found myself wondering how his hands would feel wrapped around me… Or if he even knew how to do that.

He slowly started retracting his hand, I gave his fingers a final suck before I felt him drop his hands between us, a moment later I felt him messing with the button of my pants.

"What're you doing?" I murmured while smiling in warm surprise.

He merely smirked coyly, but kept his focus on undoing my jeans. He was trying to pay me back for yesterday…

"Undo yours too," I commanded gently after he pulled my zipper down.

At that, he glanced up at me, a question in his eyes, before moving his hands to obediently untie his own pants, me meanwhile pulling myself out and languidly stroking myself as I watched him do the same.

After he'd completed his task, I immediately pulled the neck of his hoodie toward me to crush our lips back together while also reaching to grip and stroke him. My tongue slid into his mouth and a choked groan bubbled in his throat, his arousal already hard in my hand as I squeezed.

Jack broke the kiss, throwing his head back in a gasp, and I felt a surge of lust course through me. He was so sensitive...I had imagined several scenarios of how Jack would act in bed, but I never imagined him to be both vulnerable and expressive at the same time. And no one had ever seen him like this except me...The swell of excitement made me pull his lips back toward mine again while my hand steadily stroked him, causing Jack to release a low groan into my mouth. But he continued kissing me eagerly, unleashing all of his excitement and euphoria into me, his emotions so pure and raw that I could practically feel them wash over me with every stroke of his tongue and flexing of his hips.

His skin gradually warmed under my hand and I found myself unable to resist pushing that boundary again. He toyed with my tongue, and I relaxed to let him explore my mouth in return. Deciding to make a move, I pushed my hips into his, opening my hand to grip both of us together. Jack whined into my mouth and I stopped myself, pulling away. "Are you ok?" I checked, worried about pushing him too far again.

To my surprise, he was still relaxed, gazing at me with hooded eyes, his lips open and glistening from our previous kiss.

"You're like fire…" he murmured as if in a trance before leaning back into me and bucking his hips against mine, his tantalizing coolness pressing against my warmth and suddenly I knew what he meant. He liked the contrast. Before he was frightened by it, but now he welcomed it.

"Does that bother you?" I asked rhetorically with a smirk while gripping the both of us and stroking us together. Jack yelped softly and jerked forward to bite onto my bottom lip, a shudder running through my body from his reaction. Fuck... He shook his head as he released my lip, his breath shaking, his leg moving to wrap around me.

Then his head tilted so he could look down between us, enthralled by the sight of both of us moving together, and I felt the heat in my face swell at the thought. I wanted to be closer to him. As close as possible, more than that, I wanted to be inside him.

His name shakily tumbled out of my lips, but his attention was firmly rooted to my hand.

"Jack, touch me," I commanded with a little more force, recognizing that ordering him around was simultaneously turning me on and giving me a power trip.

Not seeming to mind my bossiness, Jack drove his hand between us, wrapping it over mine and squeezing, and I felt as the two of us slid together underneath our jointed grip.

"Fuck," I gasped before remembering that he didn't like me swearing, but Jack didn't even seem to care at this point. Neither did I, really. My attention was glued on our hands, my face flush and tense.

Jack's chest suddenly jerked as he arched into me, lunging forward to collide with my lips, kissing me hard, our moans beginning to rise together.

I felt him cry my name into my mouth and then his body tensed, a spasm rippling through him, before his body relaxed against me.

A still silence issued between us, and I felt the cold pinpricks of snowflakes kissing my bare skin, but I ignored them. I was merely content with holding him, my still-hard arousal in my hand, it taking all my willpower not to pin him down and grind against him until I finished.

However, after a few still moments, he reached up with both hands to hold onto my face and resumed kissing me with the slow, passionate movements he was using earlier.

The suddenness surprised me and I pulled back to look at him puzzled.

"Did you finish?" I asked, a little uncertain whether he did since the usual signs were lacking for him.

His voice came out in a raspy whisper as he simply answered, "Yeah." before proceeding to kiss me.

I turned my head away, but Jack didn't seem to care. His lips continued to press succulent kisses against the corner of my mouth before moving down my jawline.

"You still want to keep going?" I asked still confused and despite his actions being a very clear answer.

"Why wouldn't I?" he murmured against my neck, his cool fingers moving to stroke my chest.

That's right...he didn't feel exhaustion. Did this mean he could rebound instantly like this all the time?

Fuck...that was actually really hot…

Feeling a new rejuvenated surge of excitement, I abruptly pushed him over onto his back and leaned over him

"You want me to do more?" I asked even though I could assume his answer.

A corner of his lip curved up into a smirk at my question. He raised a dark eyebrow before verifying, "With your mouth?"

My lips broadened into a full smile before I leaned down and kissed him again, licking his top lip affectionately before sitting up.

"You're wearing too many clothes though," I accused as I straddled his hips, pushing his hoodie up his chest, while sliding my hands along his chest.

Jack smiled and lifted his arms while arching his back to allow me to pull the soft material off him and expose his chest to me. Shit...I realized how much I loved when he did that... I pulled my shirt over my head as well and I watched his eyes travel down my abdomen as he licked his lips, igniting a spark of confidence in me.

Crawling backwards, he helped me pull off his pants before he parted his legs and I settled on all fours before him. My breaths were coming out in pants and I hearkened back to the first time we had fooled around. He had enjoyed this before...but even then, he didn't look like this. The nervousness was no longer apparent, instead he was watching me expectantly. Excited.

Driven by that thought, I leaned back on my calves and pressed my lips into his hip, the skin pleasantly cool under my lips. I licked his hip bone before slowly kissing inward, lingering on his stomach...his thighs...bringing myself closer but not quite there, the hair growing thicker, the scent getting stronger. The sheets wrinkled and clenched in Jack's hand as I hovered...so close to him. I nuzzled into soft, wrinkled flesh and he whispered something akin to a curse, but I couldn't make out what it was. Inhaling deeply, I wanted to commit his scent to memory. I could almost taste his scent, it wasn't human, but it was uniquely Jack, amplified and cool. Shivers ran down my spine and I let out a quiet moan.

"Stop sniffing me, pervy brat," I heard him groan. I lifted my head in surprise, needing to suppress a laugh at his unexpected burst of frustration. One hand lay at his side, clenching the sheets, while he had his other arm lain across his eyes. His back arched ever so slightly in impatience and I smiled.

"I'm sorry," I said suddenly a little embarrassed. "You smell so good…"

At that, he lifted his arm to look at me skeptically. I lowered my head and started to drag my lips higher, barely skimming the skin, before arriving at the tip and I ever so gingerly licked it with my tongue, then began to drag.

The groan that escaped Jack's mouth was so unchecked, so vulnerable, that it took me by surprise again. My eyes fluttered closed and I started to swirl my tongue around the head.

"Mmnnph," he groaned again, tilting his hips up, eager to thrust deeper.

My hands gripped his hips to hold him down. Not yet… I wanted to take this slow, tease the hell out of him. I released a long, hot breath, my mouth barely touching him, before inhaling sharply, playing with air currents.

"Jamie! Please…" he gasped sharply, still trying to pulse his hips in spite of me holding him down.

I smirked a little, enthused at how polite he still was. "Please what?" I asked before flicking my tongue against his slit.

"AH! Sh- Please...your mouth," he begged as he reached down and ran his fingers through my hair, settling on gripping it. I looked up and felt myself twitch at his desperate expression. Brows pinched, jaw loose, eyes closed...more than I could have ever dreamt up.

I circled my tongue around him again, his fingers raking through my hair, pulling and twisting as he tried to coax me into giving him more. Slowly, very slowly, I pushed my lips up and down, taking a little more of him in at a time. After every incremental bob, I felt his hips flex and his fingers tug at my hair. The attention was so hot that I felt as though I were the one receiving instead of giving. After reaching the base, Jack cried out, and I found myself letting out a muffled cry to match his.

Part of me wanted to drag this exploration out for hours, taking as much of him in as I could, but instinct was driving me forward. I gradually developed a rhythm, bringing in the labor of my hand to help out. Jack's back arching and his grip on my hair growing stronger, pulling harder. My skin erupted into goosebumps and Jack's legs wrapped around my body, his toes curling into my calves. I moaned into the feeling. The feeling of him wanting more of me.

He was getting close… Not wanting it to end so soon again, I slowed my pace gradually before releasing him and nuzzling into his skin and exploring with my tongue again. Jack's groans and begging cries blurred together and it was hot...so fucking hot. My groin ached and I was so tempted to push things further. I imagined flipping him over and-

No...fuck. No. I couldn't do what I did last time. I needed to do what he wanted.

"Jamiee," Jack whined underneath me, reminding me that I had stopped my ministrations entirely.

"Sorry," I apologized before leaning down to lick along his thighs.

"Jamie...I want more," he said desperately, causing me to look up in shock at him again, as if he had read my mind.

"More?" I asked dumbly. He couldn't possibly want to try it again so soon...not after I had hurt him the first time.

"I want you…" he whispered, voice dripping with lust and distress.

My cheeks were probably burning like the sun at that moment. "You sure? Even after I hurt you?" I asked in an attempt at confirming we were totally and completely on the same page.

His throat bobbed, but his expression remained deadset as he nodded toward me. "You promised you wouldn't hurt me again… And besides, I told you Jamie. Pain doesn't bother me that much."

He did say that...but I was still nervous about hurting him. I had read up on it...since that one time. But I still didn't have any real experience.

However, my mental state was feeling pretty impulsive, so I responded with a half-hearted, "Ok…"

Getting up off of the bed, I walked over to pull lube out of my dresser drawer, silently thanking the heavens that my mom didn't appear to have found it in my absence. Returning with it to the bed, I watched as Jack watched me with an eyebrow raised. I guess my demeanor was different in comparison to the meager confidence I had a moment ago.

I leaned over him to kiss him gently again, his eyes closing after our lips met. Pulling back, I made sure to make him promise, "Please let me know if anything is uncomfortable...ok?"

He smiled warmly at me before nodding once to indicate his agreement.

"Here, turn over," I commanded and felt my heart flutter after he had done so, perched on all fours, his head hanging, his shoulders flexing, and his ass on full display for me for the first time.

I greedily imagined myself pushing into that and shuddered, calming my impatience. Although...he was a spirit so...he was at least clean...right?

Not letting myself think too much about it, I rubbed my palms over his rear, feeling the smoothness and the feather soft hairs that were too fine to be visible. My hands grasped him and I spread his cheeks, gazing hungrily at the small pucker of skin. Slowly leaning in, I breathed a slow, hot breath onto him, and I felt as his whole body shuddered, his head dropping between his shoulders.

If that was enough to get a reaction out of him…

"Can I use my mouth here?" I asked while rubbing my thumb against his opening, the skin not giving one bit.

"Not there…" Jack shuddered, not looking back at me.

Hm...Turned out maybe he was nervous after all.

"What about here?" I asked while rubbing my thumb along his tailbone, trying to gauge his reactions.

"Mm...mmk," Jack answered shakily.

I applied some lube onto my fingers and slowly started to rub circles around him, his head hanging slack between his shoulders, occasionally letting out a muffled whimper. He seemed to be ok with this…

Taking it a little further, I leaned my head down to lick along his tailbone, and I heard Jack let out a thick gasp. While he was still distracted, I gently pushed my finger between the muscles, his body accepting me easily, then I pushed deeper. He gasped, his hips arching back against the force.

…

**~F~**

"You're eager…" Jamie said, me suddenly unsure if he was talking to me or just thinking aloud. Holding his finger still, he leaned down to lick along my tail-bone, the sensation a half-tickle, half-pleasure, causing little sparks to erupt up my spine, it taking all my efforts to suppress a moan as he alternated between flat and pointed licks.

"No one can hear you, but me," he uttered lowly against my flesh, causing another shiver to run up my back and I felt his finger travel deeper. "Don't censor yourself...I like hearing you," he added as he gently moved his finger, coaxing stronger, more poignant sensations out of me.

"Ahhah," I moaned as my hips involuntarily jerked back toward him, against his tongue. I found myself no longer caring about modesty or the rule book or that tongues weren't supposed to go there. I wanted more of him. I wanted his tongue lower to replace his finger, I wanted more fingers. All the fingers he could give me. I wanted every experience and sensation he was willing to give me. I wanted it all…

A few moments later, Jamie's hold on me tightened and his finger started moving more rapidly, his licks more urgent, and teeth biting gently into my flesh What was I-?

"Jamie!" I moaned loudly, sick and tired of his careful touches.

"Hm?" he hummed from behind me as he rubbed within me, making me feel hot...but a different kind of hot.

"I'm ready," I vocalized, knowing he was waiting for me this time.

"You sure?" he asked without pausing in his licking, "Because I can keep going like this for a while…"

"Please…" I asked nicely before turning to look back at him. It felt weird initially, but now I wanted more. No, I needed to feel him.

Jamie's eyes widened, before pulling his finger out and rolling me over on my back.

"Here," he grumbled before leaning over me to grab an extra pillow. I found myself staring at his hips as he did do, admiring the shape of him. He leaned back and instructed me to put it under my hips, which I obeyed.

Then he briefly stood up to remove his pants, before kneeling in between my legs, grabbing the lube and rubbing it along his hard length. My chest was rising and falling with heavy breaths as I watched him in anticipation. I let my eyes travel up and down his body, admiring how...beautiful he looked. He had grown well into his body...he was taller than me and his muscles wrapped elegantly around his hips and back. I was in such awe that I wanted to compliment him, but I was finding it hard to even speak.

"Ok," he gasped before leaning over me and enveloping me into a kiss. I pushed myself up off the soft pillows to demonstrate my eagerness, my pure want for him. "If it's too much, just tell me," he urged as he broke the kiss, his concern evident in his expression.

I smiled slightly before pushing myself up into him again. He was too considerate…

Pulling back, he kissed my forehead before reaching an arm under me to angle my hips and then pushed himself into me. I gasped and my spine arched into him, it stung, but not like before. There was that weird warmth again. Moans bubbled out of my throat as he slowly pushed himself into me, up until he had fully pushed his hips against mine and collapsed into my chest, being careful to support himself on his arms. Both of us groaned in unison, our bodies pulsing together, as he let me get used to the new feeling.

Jamie was the first to recover, "Ready?" he asked. Waiting for me.

I looked up at him, eyes glowing like honey in the warm sunlight and his expression so concerned that I felt a swelling of love in me so strong that I only managed to whisper a simple, "Yes."

Jamie's hands closed around my face, our foreheads almost touching, before he started to carefully move. I felt the alien sensation of him pulling out and then pushing back in. After a while, he experimented with different angles until he found the best one. I threw my head back with a gasp, the warmth so strong...still growing within me.

"Jack…" Jamie murmured before leaning in to kiss my neck, my jaw, under my ear. His rhythm was addicting. I found myself craving more. He would slowly push in, all the way in, shoving his hips flat against mine, the feeling of fullness so intense and insanely satisfying that I almost whined when he slowly pulled back.

"Shit…" I whispered. Jamie hesitated momentarily before resuming his pace, quickening his thrusts. It felt so good...like Jamie was reading my body.

At first, I was distracted, trying to figure out what I could do to contribute. But then I settled into just thinking of Jamie. I closed my eyes and focused on the rhythm of his thrusts, focusing on the feeling of it all. I began to rock my hips, counter-thrusting.

"Fuck...Jack," Jamie gasped as he dropped his head, panting against his exertion.

"Does that feel good?" I whispered, raising an eyebrow in concern.

"Fuck yeah…" he breathed, the cursing passing over my attention. My focus still centered on the movement of his body and the movement of mine. I reached up to run my fingers through his hair, our bodies sliding together, the tension building in our chests. Then he groaned and moved side-to-side a little, accentuating the sensation of hair sliding against hair.

Jamie gave a soft cry, before changing the angle of his hips, pushing my legs back to thrust deeper into me, hitting the right spot on the way in and out. I threw back my head, my mouth slack, and felt myself start to drift, losing myself in that warmth that was growing ever hotter, clinging to the strong body above me to anchor myself here. Here with him. There was nothing else outside of the two of us. This was more than sex, I had come to understand. This was love.

"Jack, you're so tight-" Jamie groaned as he held my legs back with his shoulders, hands clenching the sheets. Deep inside, I could feel Jamie getting harder, larger, massaging me firmly and lovingly, stroking that warmth I was craving.

I gasped, raking my nails along his back, arching into every thrust.

"Oh fuck," Jamie gasped, pressing his lips against mine. Once. Twice. Our foreheads pressing together. "I don't know how much longer I can last…"

"I think I'm close…" I whispered, gripping onto his shoulder blades and wrapping my legs around him.

Jamie grunted and then leaned his weight onto one arm, plunging the other between us and grabbing onto my length.

"Jamie!" I cried out, not prepared for the dual sensations that were happening to me. The knot building, swelling. I didn't know how much more I could- heat, fire inside me- I needed to-

Jamie kissed my nose, my forehead, keeping up the pace of his thrusts.

"Jamie, I can't," my voice came in whimpers from me. I could feel everything. Every pulse, every thrust, every jolt of heat that traveled through me. "I'm gonna…"

"It's ok, it's ok. So am I," Jamie said as he tilted his hips up more, quickening his pace. I ran a trembling hand through his hair. "Fuck, Jack, I'm-" his words broke off. I counter-thrusted even harder against him, the heat threatening to explode any-

Our yells mingled together as whiteness filled my vision, Jamie's grip on me speeding up, and my muscles actually ached. I tried to say Jamie's name again, but my lips were already open and I couldn't move them.

Then Jamie called my name and gave his final thrust, white hotness glowing brighter and brighter, filling me with our energy. We clung to one another, our bodies contracting against the other, as the pleasure we built cascaded over us in waves.

Slowly, Jamie's body pulled out and relaxed himself into the mattress alongside me. The fog slowly lifted from my mind, the final twitches leaving my body.

An unsteady hand stroked my forehead, and I opened my eyes to see Jamie propped up on an elbow alongside me. For a while, neither of us spoke. I caught his hand with my own and wove my fingers against his.

Finally, Jamie asked, "Was that better?"

I couldn't say anything at first. Not because I couldn't. I just had trouble remembering what words were.

"That was...amazing," I breathed, suddenly feeling lethargic.

"I can draw you another bath...if you want," he offered kindly before shifting to get up.

"Wait," I said, squeezing tighter around his hand. "Just...just a few minutes?" I asked.

He paused, seemingly surprised, before lying back down and pulling me against him. His heat no longer of concern for me. I welcomed it. It was a different kind of warm.

And we lay there for a while. Neither speaking. Us just basking in the feeling of the other, never wanting the feeling to end…

…

…

Cold.

no...Ice.

I was plunged into depths of cold. Ice stabbed every inch of my skin. So cold it burned. I struggled to move, the ice stabbing my muscles, my lungs. I couldn't breathe. Where was the light?

Flailing, my limbs slow, sluggish. The ice burrowing deeper into me. Freezing my joints. Freezing my bones. Needed to find the light. My lungs burned. Couldn't...breathe… I was sinking. Pain. Stabbing. Excruciating. Burning. Pain.

In utter desperation, I took a breath, gasping for air. The ice washed into my lungs, stabbing me from the inside out. The weight on my ankles growing heavier. The sinking, faster. I couldn't move. My arms...legs...heavy. The light…

I couldn't...couldn't see it. Disappeared...

Darkness...no...darker. Quiet…

Emptiness.

Nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Woah, wait, wut?**
> 
> **What the heck is up with that last part?**
> 
> **I'd like to hear your clever guesses n_n**
> 
> **Also, I do promise to finish this!**
> 
> **I appreciate so greatly those of you that enjoy this and take a moment to let me know.**
> 
> **Nothing is sweeter for a writer who's busy with *urgh* life tasks.**
> 
> **So, if you're new or haven't left a review yet,**
> 
> **Tell me what you think! And...what (real) person do you envision could best play an older Jamie?**
> 
> **Just curious ;D There's very little fanart of that like out there.**


	19. Ch 18: Shadows in the Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **It's time to start the New Year off right!**
> 
> **And for me that meant returning to my love of writing.**
> 
> **I was originally going to cut this into two chapters, but it's been too long between postings, so I decided to just write it all together.**
> 
> **And I also added a little sumthin', sumthin' as penance for being so slow.**
> 
> ***claps hands together* Please forgive me.**
> 
> **However, if Mature content is not for you, please skip.**
> 
> **Enjoy!**

 

**Shadows in the L** **ight**

**~F~**

"You ready?" I asked tentatively as I watched Jamie get ready for his visit to the oral surgeon.

Jamie grabbed his earbuds off his desk and stuffed them into his pocket, answering me with a uncharacteristically curt, "Yep." before moving toward his bedroom door.

"I'll be right there the whole time," I tried to comfort him from atop his bedpost, hands holding onto my staff.

"I know."

I pursed my lips at a loss of what to say, watching his back as he descended the staircase. I knew he wasn't nervous about the surgery, he had already told me that they weren't even going to be putting him to sleep for it. It was a straightforward pulling of teeth. No...he was withdrawing into himself. That was what scared me.

Ever since we had woken up together.

…

...

Jamie jerked so hard next to me that he toppled off the bed, landing on the ground with a heavy  _thud._

"Jamie?!" I yelled in surprise as he started coughing and wheezing violently on all fours, the blankets tangled up around him on the floor.

"Jamie?" I asked terrified as I watched him clutch at his throat, hacking, gasping. His face in a hard grimace, neck veins prominent as he struggled to find air. Jumping off to kneel next to him, I didn't know what else to do. I put a hand on his back as those awful sounds exploded out of his lungs while I desperately searched for the source of his fit.

He gave one wretched gasp before he collapsed onto his side, his breaths turning ragged and rapid, but at least he was breathing. His hand had since moved to his chest, clenched into a fist, then I suddenly remembered Monty's breathing exercises.

"Hey, Jamie," I coaxed while brushing the hair off his face, desperate to relieve him of any potential obstruction. "Remember what Monty said? Yeah? Breathe and count to-"

" _Jack_!" Jamie gasped, his voice hoarse, almost unrecognizable.

I paused after seeing the tears streaming down his face.

"When you fell in the lake," he croaked, every muscle in his face tense, "You never told me you DIED."

I froze, hardly processing what he said. How did...How did he know that?

Jamie watched my face, seeking a denial but getting none. I could only stare in horror, slowly realizing what he must have seen. Jamie's eyes welled up again before breaking down into heavy sobs, completely distraught, arms hiding his face. His hands gripping the blankets and his shoulders shaking with grief.

He...he saw my dream? He saw me drown?

I didn't...I never wanted him to know that. I didn't mean to fall asleep...Why did I even do that?

Jamie was still huddled on the floor, mourning the loss I had felt. His body...our bodies still completely bare, vulnerable. I reached over to gently cover him with the tousled blanket as best as I could, his shoulders continued to shake and heave, his breath still ragged.

"Jamie...I'm sorry," I said as I felt tears well in my own eyes. I reached over to hold my staff to calm myself, laying it alongside me while gripping it tightly in one hand. "I'm  **so** sorry, bud," my voice breaking a bit.

"Why are you apologizing?"Jamie demanded, voice deep, but still distraught.

I gaped at him for a moment, uncertain myself.

"Because…" I stumbled, "You shouldn't have ever seen my dream like that…"

"That's what you  _dream_  about?" his voice rising higher, eyes pleading with me, almost as if begging to hear a different answer.

"Sometimes…" I whispered, the word hanging on my lips.

He gasped in distress, almost a wail, before his chest rapidly rose and fell with shallow, panicked breaths, pushing him to hyperventilate again.

"JamieJamieJamie," I begged as I put a hand on his chest over top his, as if trying to control his lungs. "Jamie, I'm ok. I'm here. Nothing's changed. I-I need you to breathe with-"

And then a hoarse sob, a cry so filled with pain that I thought I felt my heart break.

"I don't want to  _die,_ Jack. I don't want-"  _gasp "_ I don't..."

_Plop._

Wetness fell onto my hand and only then did I realize I was crying. Only then did I realize he didn't just  _see_ my dream, he had experienced It. He felt my death. He  _knew_ what it was like. What could happen to him... I'd rather relive my dream a million times than see him like this, the mental anguish tearing him apart and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The magic instinctively sparked in my fingers, but there was nothing for me to fight. Nothing except the terrifying peril that Jamie now fully understood he was in and no longer mortally ignorant of.

He cried into his arm, his shoulders shaking and his body starting to shiver. "Jamie…" I started before my voice failed me. Biting my lip, I pulled the blanket up and rubbed his arms through the cloth, internally hating myself for being too cold to warm him properly. Swallowing past the tightness in my throat, I tried again, "Jamie, listen to me." He said nothing, only continued to shake under my hands. "You're-"  _swallow- "_ You're not going to die, ok? I'm- I'm not letting you out of my sight again. I promise."

His face was obscured from view, but his body had steadied to a soft tremor.

So I stroked his back and continued, "It's going to be ok...You're ok…" I repeated the messages like a mantra, doing everything I could to calm him down. Touched his back, stroked his hair, held his hand. I lost track of time. But none of that mattered to me, I just kept wishing he could forget everything he saw. It was something mortals were never prepared to feel. It was beyond passing out for a few minutes before being brought back. He felt my life end. He felt my heart stop. My mind die.

Just thinking about it again was causing the air to chill around me and I had to shake myself back to attention. It wasn't an experience I would say I was over...I didn't think I ever truly would get over it. But a life of eternity, if nothing else, did teach me to compartmentalize.

Looking back down to Jamie, I felt his chest rising and falling a lot slower, his breath only hitching periodically from grief.

"Come on kid," I murmured gently, "Let's get you back in bed."

Jamie lifted his head and bit his lip, as if trying to relieve his mental anguish with a physical distraction. Slowly, he shook his head and wrapped his arms around my middle, burying his head into my chest.

If my heart wasn't already aching, it probably shattered just then. Jamie was strong. Seeing him falling apart like this because of me was almost too much to bear.

"Jamie…" I whispered, helpless, doing the only thing I could in that moment. Letting him hug me.

"Just give me a minute," his voice rumbled into my chest, his arms squeezing me just a little bit harder. I relaxed a little after hearing him speak, knowing he was trying to put himself back together. I exhaled and continued to run my fingers along his back.

After several minutes, he sharply inhaled and sat up, almost as if trying to take the final step back into reality. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and rubbed the tears away. I watched him with anticipation, not really knowing if he was ok. After removing his hands and shaking the stars away, he looked at me squarely for the first time since he had awoken. I didn't know what my expression looked like right then, but no matter what it was, I saw his eyes start to glaze over again and his jaw clench. Almost as if looking at me caused him pain.

I couldn't have it. Without thinking, I leaned forward and pressed my forehead against his, my hand holding the side of his face, fingertips threading into his hair. He gave a small cry, whether from surprise or distress I wasn't sure. But then he exhaled a shaking sigh and closed his eyes, letting me pour every ounce of reassurance and warmth into him that I had. His proximity and his pain pushed me to remember the joy we had. Memories of him drifted through my mind. I saw us throwing snowballs just the other day. His friends laughing and chasing him as I sailed around them. I remembered his face right after I first told him I loved him, and the overpowering warmth after I realized he was crying out of sheer happiness. I thought about when I had first come back to see him after he grew up. I kissed his hand better, and he blushed. Then that reminded me of the first time he saw me. How after so many years alone...He became everything to me.

Jamie inhaled deeply, alerting me to pull back slightly and look at him. His expression was still crestfallen, but the tears had ebbed. His breathing normal once again.

"You should sleep," I suggested gently, rubbing circles into the back of his neck. "The dreamsand will help."

Jamie said nothing. Instead, he stood up while gripping the blankets around him tightly before climbing back into bed. I pulled my pants back on and grabbed our store of dreamsand from within his closet.

Walking over to him, I bit my lip after seeing him gaze distantly out the window. I glanced over to it, but only saw the golden aura from the streetlamps reflecting off the snow. Shifting my attention, I crawled onto the bed alongside him with a sprinkle of sand between my fingertips.

Reaching over with my other hand, I brushed his bangs aside and reassured softly, "You're safe with me, Jamie. I promise that I'll never let anything happen to you."

I waited for a response only to receive none. He merely continued to stare distantly out the window.

My eyes glazed a little, but I shook the tears away before leaning down to kiss his temple and sprinkled the sand into his eyes, watching them finally close as he fell into a peaceful slumber.

…

…

**~B~**

"You might feel a little pinch…" Dr. Brenner said as I felt the needle slide between my gums. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to focus on something else beyond the discomfort. He used his other hand to rub the surrounding tissue, which helped a bit, but was still fairly uncomfortable. I was never afraid of the dentist; however, that didn't mean I necessarily liked it. Seconds later, I felt a tingling sensation in my mouth, signaling the onset of the numbing medication.

Finally, I could get this over with.

"You alright, Jamie?" Dr. Brenner's voice sounded past the headphones in my ears to check in on me briefly.

"Uh huh," I voiced, the exact location of my tongue vanishing from my perception. My face felt so strange, but I kept my eyes closed and tried to zone out into my music.

I knew Jack was in the room with me, keeping good with his promise of never leaving me. Watching me probably from the corner as the doctor tinkered in my mouth. He was so...noble. And loving and admirable and...

_You don't deserve him._

I swallowed and a sour sensation filled my throat. Whether it was my imagination or the dental tools in my mouth, the thought kept worming its way to the forefront of my mind. I never knew...I never had any fucking clue how much loss he had gone through. And all this time I've been so  _demanding_ of him. Been such a fucking child…

_It's because of me he's no longer a Guardian…_

He gave it all up for me.

A pulling pressure dragged me out of my thoughts as I felt the good doctor tug the tooth out.

"Are you alright?" I heard his voice ask in concern over my music. "Do you need more numbing medication?"

Shaking my head, I reached a hand up and wiped the distraught tears from my eyes that he had thankfully misinterpreted as pain.

"I OK," I grumbled with an open mouth to encourage him to continue. I just wanted to get this over with…

But my mind fixated itself on Jack. For perhaps the very first time, I felt how human he was. He may have been hundreds of years old, but his memories and pain were so vivid that night. As if they were my own. I didn't know how…

Then I remembered him pressing his forehead to mine. And the swath of moments that flashed through my mind, but they weren't mine. They were all from his point of view. How he felt professing his love for me...the joy he felt when he saw me cry out of happiness for hearing him say that...the spark he felt when we reunited and he kissed my hand better...how it was the first time I saw him…

I had always imagined what it must have felt like for him in those moments. Except those were  _his_ actual memories.  _His_ emotions. Why was I the one experiencing them?

"Alright Jamie," Dr. Bremer announced. "That'll just about do it," he said as he dropped the last adult tooth in a little jar. He glanced over to see me watching him and asked, "Did you want to keep these?"

Did I? It's not like the Tooth Fairy collected adult teeth. But I guess they were kind of cool…

I nodded my head since he had stuffed my mouth full of gauze.

"Great," he proclaimed a little too gleefully. People in dentistry really were some weird cats…

Dr. Bremer helped me stand up and walked me out to the waiting area where my mom was sitting and reading a magazine. After seeing me, she stood up with a warm smile and walked over to hear the update from the doctor.

I probably should have been paying attention to this, but I was only half listening. Instead I was watching Jack in the waiting room, having had skated over to the corner where the children's play area was set up. A little girl was standing in front of him, but he crouched down to be at eye level with her. Holding up a finger, he created a glistening snowflake that made her eyes grow wide as she watched it form. Then it burst on her nose and she gleefully shrieked from the cold and his magic as she rubbed her face. I watched as she whispered something to him and he smiled and nodded at her, which caused the little girl to jump several times and clap her hands.

_He loved being a Guardian...And I took that away from him._

"Jamie?" my mom asked in a way that implied it wasn't her first time trying to get my attention.

"Huh?" I asked, my voice muffled from the gauze.

"Did you have any more questions for Dr. Brenner?" she asked, probably hovering between feeling ashamed and concerned for me, unsure whether I was being rude or just drugged up.

I shook my head, as I very well couldn't talk even if I wanted to while my mom wrapped up the conversation.

"Just in case you didn't hear," my mom passive aggressively implied as we both shut our car doors with a  _thump_ , "Dr. Brenner said your surgery went very well and you might be able to eat just fine by tomorrow.

"Mhm," I grunted to show I was listening. Part of me was a little aggravated she would accuse me of not paying attention...but the other part still wanted to hear what she had to say since her assumption was correct.

"Just make sure to be careful when brushing your teeth and swish with the solution he gave you."

"Mhm."

"And avoid hard, crunchy foods or using a straw," she added.

"Mhm."

She stopped talking after that and turned up the radio. The conversation would have been hopelessly one-sided anyway. While she focused on driving, I inattentively stared out the window, occasionally catching glimpses of Jack as he followed us through the air. My forehead grew cold from leaning against the glass, but I didn't care. Part of me liked it since the lower half of my face was still numb.

" _But when you're numb for hundreds of years...pain is still better than nothing."_

That quote from Jack echoed across my thoughts. And then the memory of bone-chilling numbness in the pond.

"Jamie?" my mom asked with worry in her tone, making me realize that I was breathing too quickly.

I closed my eyes and focused on breathing.  _Breathe In- Breathe Out- Breathe In- Breath-_

_So dark...and cold..._

"Jamie?" my mom repeated a little louder. "Are you ok?"

I nodded my head, not trusting my voice at the moment. However, I could tell that her eyes kept flitting over to watch me as she continued to drive the car.

"You can take tomorrow off of school too," she suggested. "I can drive you back the following morning instead."

I was not a fan of this idea. "I -anna go -ack oo -kool," I uttered as best as I could, hoping she understood my intent.

"Well…" she trailed off hesitantly, "Just see how you feel tomorrow and let me know."

I settled for that compromise, since I wasn't going to change my mind. The last thing I needed was to lounge around my house for an extra day. Missing class was stressful enough, but I also wanted to get out of my bedroom. A change of scenery might help put my mind back on track.

After we finally pulled up to the house, I took the medicine and after-care bag from my mom and went upstairs to my room. Looking at the label, the medicine said that it would make me drowsy...I'd have to make sure I take it before Jack puts me to sleep with the dreamsand. Setting the rest of the materials on my desk, I rummaged through the little bag and pulled out the saline solution, a little syringe to squirt water in my mouth, some gauze, and…

I pulled out the little capsule with my four wisdom teeth inside, the small bones clinking against the plastic. They were smaller than I thought...pretty ordinary. Maybe the Tooth Fairy would still want to add them to my baby teeth collection...

A light ringing sound alerted me to Jack's presence as he climbed in my window. I grabbed the gauze and swiped the rest of my dental care things into my desk drawer, dropping my wisdom teeth in there along with it.

"Everything ok?" he asked tentatively and I knew he was watching his words. He had been since last night.

I nodded my head and reached into my mouth to pull out the bloody gauze and inspect it.

"Gross," he commented as he walked over to me. "If the Tooth Fairy were here, she'd probably tell you how cool it all is," he added trying to be light-hearted about it.

I shrugged my shoulders and threw the gauze in the wastebasket. The tang of metal tainted the inside of my mouth, signaling that my tongue was regaining some feeling back into it and was unfortunately being heralded with the distinct flavor of blood.

"Here, let me help with the cuts," he offered quietly and I remembered the magic he would use on injuries like these. I turned to face him and opened my mouth, the feeling having had returned to my jaw along with a throbbing ache. He drew up close to me and peered inside curiously. Then he touched two fingers to his lips, breathing his magic onto them, and I felt as he gently touched them to where the stitches were in my mouth.

"There," he said confidently, "That'll help with the swelling.

I gingerly licked my gums and, to my relief, they felt pleasantly cool.

"Please...talk to me, Jamie," I heard him say, his voice strained. I turned my attention back to him and noticed him standing stiffly in front of me, gripping his staff tightly in one hand. The guilt washed back over me. I had been avoiding his interactions all day, partially because I could tell they were forced and partially because I didn't want to talk about what happened. I couldn't.

I picked up the gauze and unwrapped a few sections of it before stuffing them into my mouth, trying my best to ignore the crestfallen look on Jack's face as I silenced myself.

"Look…" he murmured and I felt his hands grab hold of my wrists, halting my gauze-stuffing process. "You're safe," he emphasized, his gaze heavy and sincere. "I'm here and I won't let anything happen to you, ok? Do...do you believe me?" his desperation drawing me into his gaze. The hurt in his eyes gnawed at me again, remembering what his pain felt like and knowing that I was the one causing it this time.

But of course I believed he meant what he said. However his words held more weight in them. I stared vacantly into his eyes as they glistened like snow, waiting for my response. He was asking if I believed in  _him_. If I believed in his promise to me.

My lack of response sunk in and he bit his lip and looked down, holding his staff. I did it, didn't I? I disappointed him. Let him down. I was his first believer, the only person who believed in him completely. But now...the dread started to sift into my thoughts. Too strong to ignore.

_The Guardians are even afraid of the dark._

_Jack wouldn't even stand a chance alone..._

Jack sniffed once, which pulled me to attention. He looked back up at me, his eyes glistening for a whole different reason, pushing forth more feelings of remorse and guilt in me.

"I want to protect you, Jamie," he asserted strongly. "Just tell me what I can do to help you."

The problem was...I didn't know what anyone could do for me. But it hurt to see him hurting for me. So I did the only thing I could at the moment. I reached across my desk to grab a pad of paper and a pen before flipping it open and writing my response.

He leaned over to read it as I lifted my hand.

**Please stop making me talk about it.**

He straightened up and nodded his head. "Alright," he stated as he reached forward to grab my hand, "I won't bring it up unless you do," he promised.

That was good. And at the very least it would help a little. I wanted my life back. I wanted to feel even a little bit normal again. I wanted to forget about all of it and go back to having stupid little fantasies about Jack instead of reliving his worst nightmare again and again…

Jack smiled softly at me and then leaned forward to kiss my forehead. Reflexively, I reached up to wrap my arms around his torso and he responded by melting into me. I moved and pulled him until we fell side by side on the bed, releasing my grip on him and relaxing into the mattress.

As my eyes closed, I felt as he started stroking my hair. I liked when he did that…

"Did you want to sleep a little?" he murmured.

I nodded my head, not bothering to open my eyes. I heard him get up and move to retrieve some of the dreamsand before sprinkling it into my eyes.

I heard little as I slipped off into Sandy's light-hearted dreamscape. However, I was pretty sure I heard just one thing.

_I love you, Jamie._

…

…

"Hey Jamie, how're you feelin'?" Monty momentarily paused as I walked into our dorm. Monty and Ashley were lounging on the couch playing some Smash, a game that Ashley and Monty were both equally skilled at.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Fine," I replied but after a slight hesitation decided to elaborate so as not to be rude. "It was just a simple pulling of teeth. I can eat ok and they said the stitches would dissolve on their own."

"Lucky you," Ashley responded, "My face was swollen for a week. Alright," he said turning his head to Monty, "Three, two, one," he counted down before unpausing their match and the furious clicking of buttons ensued.

Proceeding into my bedroom, I smiled in memory of Ashley being out of commission for his wisdom teeth extraction last summer. Fortunately I didn't have to go through all that calamity. The added pain as well as not being able to eat for a week would have been rough enough, but in all seriousness, I needed to get back to school. I was actually craving having some sort of schedule and routine back to keep my mind off of things…

The familiar tap at the window reminded me that I had locked Jack out for too long. I walked over and unlatched the lever to let him in.

"Hey kiddo," he greeted me as he dropped himself through the window. "How was everything today?"

"It was fine," I shrugged as I moved to unpack the few things I had brought home. My mom had driven me back to school that morning and I immediately went to my couple lectures I had that day. As such, I didn't have a chance to talk to Jack until just now. Jack never sat with me for car rides, which was probably for the better. On top of it being an activity that would bore him out of his mind (while making me insane since I wouldn't hear the end of it the entire trip), he would probably create snow or something to accidently distract the driver. Nah...it was best he followed by air.

Then after that, I had class. He had learned a while ago not to talk to me when I was out in public. My friends already thought I was a nutcase, I didn't need strangers to also carry that conception. So instead of distracting me or actually listening to the lectures, he usually drifted aimlessly around the lecture halls or would hang out outside the windows if able, always in clear view of me.

"Do you have a lot of homework?" he asked tentatively. He wasn't trying to nag me, this I knew, he was indirectly asking if I was too busy to spend time with him.

"Just some reading I'll try to do before bed," I answered as I laid my clean clothes in the dresser and shut the drawer.

"But you're feeling better?" he asked raising an eyebrow at me as he leaned nonchalantly on his staff.

The constant need for concern caused a vein to twitch in my brow.

"I'd feel better if you stopped asking me," I replied curtly, but then recoiled realizing how mean I was being. "But seriously," I backstepped while taking a deep breath, "I just want to forget about last weekend...as best as I can at least."

"Ok…" Jack replied distantly. "Guess I'll just...let you read and go patrol outside for a minute."

"Jack…" my voice sounding strained and I reached out to grab his wrist. "I'm sorry...you don't have to go outside."

A knock on my door interrupted us.

"Hey Jamie, we're about to go down to get dinner. Can you eat?" Ashley asked outside my door.

I sighed, irritated at the interruption, but responded anyway, "Yeah, I'll be right out."

Lowering my voice, I turned back to Jack, "You're coming with me?" I asked, still wondering if he wanted to patrol outside for a minute. As it was encroaching on December, it was getting dark very early in the day. The sun would be fully set within the hour.

"I promised you I would," he said, as if reminding me how committed he was.

The corner of my mouth curved up in a small smile, grateful that he wasn't going to let me being a jackass change anything between us.

_You don't deserve him…_

"Jamie?" Jack asked cocking his head at me in fucking concern again.

"I'm fine, just hungry," I added with a forced smile this time. There was that thought again…

"Well...let's go then," he said reaching forward for my hand again. I focused on the coolness of his skin against mine. On how his thumb rubbed against mine.

…

After dinner, which consisted mostly of Ashley complaining about our first year writing class, I returned to my solitude on the premise that I needed to read before bed. My roommates still seemed to believe my lie that I was taking medication that made me drowsy, so they usually didn't pressure me into going out or staying up too much. They most definitely believed me after my freak out at Ashley's last weekend… which brought up a swath of unpleasant thoughts that made my stomach roil from uneasiness.

Upon walking into my room, I saw as Jack jumped down from my open window and turned to close it behind him.

"Hey," I started, but then trailed off unsure which direction I was going to go in.

However before I had enough time to process, Jack swooped into me, taking my face in his hands and leaning up to kiss me.

I froze, not really knowing what to do. He kept his lips still, but the passion was definitely there as he pressed into me.

After a moment, he pulled back and looked at me with pure resolution.

"I don't want to forget about last weekend," he said determinedly. "And I don't want you to forget it entirely either…"

Remembering to breathe, I exhaled and tried to interject. "Jack, that's not what I-"

"I know it's not what you meant," he said, completing my sentence for me and scratching his head in agitation. "And I'm sorry that all this shit is happening, but I don't want to lose that feeling we had… Even though you saw something I had never told anyone about before… Sorry," he ran a hand through his hair to fix it as he rewinded a little, "I know I promised I wouldn't bring that up… My point is that you make me feel more alive than I've ever felt. And...And I want to keep feeling that with you…"

He trailed off and I could only stare at him in dumbstruck surprise.

"Did...Did you just swear?" I asked, a smile growing on my face.

His eyebrows drew together quickly. "That's  **all**  you have to say?" he huffed.

"I'm sorry," I said, an uncontrollable laugh escaping, "You've just been so opposed to it the whole time I've known you."

"Well, I guess that means you're rubbing off on me," he said, his face relaxing into a knowing smirk.

I couldn't help but grin at him. Maybe I was rubbing off on him...in more ways than one.

"Is this your way of asking?" I probed, but already certain of the answer.

I noticed him blushing ever so slightly. However, that mischievous smirk lingered before replying, "No...this is." And he leaned up to wrap his arms around my neck and kiss me again, opening his mouth a little this time.

I sighed into him and, without even thinking, reached around and grabbed his ass. Jack gave a little yelp before pushing back into me.

Despite his physical strength not being enough to actually force me, I followed his lead anyways. My knees hit the edge of my mattress and I fell backwards onto it, pulling Jack along with me.

We broke the kiss and I looked up to see him smiling as he crawled over top of me.

"Yeah," I said as I smiled back, "I definitely wouldn't want to forget this."

"Good," he whispered against my lips. He then left a delicate kiss on them before moving down to kiss my chin...my neck...my collarbone...

"What're you doing?" I murmured as my heart started to race.

In between hooking his finger into my shirt so he could lick cool trails up my collarbone, he responded, "I owe you one from last time."

"You don't owe me any-  _hrmph_ ," I gasped as his hands moved to undo my pants, all the blood in my body suddenly flowing south. He glanced up at me, that damn cocky smirk on his face and it was then I realized that he was loving this. Loved controlling me.

On the other hand...maybe it'd feel good to let him.

He started to tug at my pants to get them off, me helping the process along, before settling down between my legs, kissing delicately up my thigh as I had previously done to him.

"Do...you even know what you're doing?" I asked somewhat skeptically.

He stopped completely and looked up at me with an unimpressed frown on his face.

"Did  _you_?" he challenged.

_Touché I guess…_

 

The confidence reappeared in his eyes and he bent back over, hands fanning out over my thighs as he licked lazy trails around my hips.

I sighed and leaned back into the pillows, resting an arm across my forehead and tried to calm myself down. His tongue tickled...and his hands squeezed my thighs, his fingertips pointedly colder than the rest of him.

After a few more minutes of this, I groaned and flexed my hips up into him.

"Impatient…" I heard him mutter indignantly as he gingerly held my erection in one hand.

"You should talk," I retorted, my face growing warm. Gaining enough bravery to look at him, I lifted my arm from my eyes and angled my chin down to see him suck the end of me between his lips.

"Ohhh," I moaned involuntarily and kicked out my foot.

Jack laughed with his mouth full. I couldn't fucking believe he had the know-how to tease me like this. But his amusement only made me flex my hips up and groan even louder.

"Shut up," he commanded with a grin as he lifted his head up, "Your roommates will hear you."

"Fuck my roommates," I mumbled bitterly.

He laughed again and I peeked out from under my arm to see him delicately lick the tip, me involuntarily twitching as he did so. Seemingly satisfied, he bent over to take me back in his mouth, him reaching down between his own legs to also partake.

Oh shit...I couldn't take this. He wasn't even doing anything yet and I already felt close to finishing. Just the mere fact he was even doing this...and then enjoying it himself was exciting enough to escalate my arousal.

"Ah!" I hissed, keeping my voice low as he sucked on me more forcefully. I watched as he slowly slid his lips down, before I felt myself nudging the back of his throat. But then he angled his head so he could take me all the way in. Oh  _God…_

I reached up and tangled my hands through his hair, running my fingers through it quickly. This was better than anything my fantasies had ever chalked up.

"Just a little more, Jack," I wheezed, trying to communicate how much closer I was getting.

Jack opened his eyes and then looked up at me, my belly swirling at the intense way he was staring me down, his mouth open slightly. Then he hummed and started to suck greedily, his face buried in my groin, and his lips moving eagerly over my length.

"Oh God yes, yeah…" I whispered as I arched my back, my hand still tangled in his hair as he bobbed over me. Warmth rapidly pooled in my belly, my skin tingling right down to my toes, my hips flexing up into him as he continued to unabashedly take me into his throat-

And then the feeling of cold, empty air as he pulled up and off of me.

" _Jaack_ ," I found myself whining as I opened my eyes to see him kneeling back on his calves in front of me.

Jack licked his lips and then worked his jaw around a little, as if trying to recaliberate himself.

"You do realize we're going to do it," he asked rhetorically with an impish grin on his face.

I sighed in frustration, realizing that I might have accidentally created a monster.

"Yeah...alright," I said as I sat up and reached over into my bedside drawer to dig around for the bottle of lube. Jack hurriedly undressed as I did so. After snagging it, I reached forward to pull Jack onto my lap, kissing his nose affectionately as he straddled me. I uncapped the lube and squeezed a line onto my fingers, Jack leaning up so I could snake a hand in between his legs and rub his entrance gently.

"Mmm," I hummed as I kissed his chest, leaning up to lick around his nipple, "You're so hot," I whispered only loud enough for him to hear me.

Jack whimpered a little as I slid a finger into him, but then surprised me by sinking his weight down onto it eagerly, his warmth and tightness surrounding my finger and causing a whine to bubble out of my throat. Forgetting momentarily I had said anything to him, it took me a moment to understand his response.

"Quite the opposite actually," he breathed as he ran his cool fingers through my hair, rubbing circles into the back of my scalp.

I was about to give him shit for his lame joke, but after glancing up at him, all my wit was completely discarded. He was looking down at me, eyes no longer that iridescent blue, but black with lust. His face was relaxed, his lips slightly parted, as he watched me with longing. Unable to reach his lips, I leaned up to swipe my tongue around his collarbone as I slowly started to move my finger.

But Jack was already ahead of me. Mewling softly, he ground himself down on my finger before pleading softly, "More," as he rocked his hips back and forth over my lap.

Jesus Christ he really was going to be the death of me...

I moved my mouth over to circle his nipple as I eased another finger in, pushing both all the way up until I brushed up against that spot inside of him. Jack moaned and arched his back, before yanking my head back by the hair and leaning down to make out with me while he thrust down on my fingers.

This had come so far so quickly. Like I had somehow unbottled something he had been holding in for hundreds of years and wasn't even aware of. Just a few months ago, he would barely kiss me and now he was fucking grinding down on my fingers.

I bundled a third and slowly pushed into him, his insides squeezing me tighter than ever. He groaned wantonly into my mouth, completely indifferent to his volume as no one could hear him besides me...which I realized was an insane turn on. He rocked his hips over me for a moment, never having stopped his onslaught on my mouth.

He was ready…

I blindly reached to the side to find where I had dropped the bottle of lubricant, clumsily searching for it while Jack waged war with my tongue. Finally retrieving it, I shakily squeezed a dollop onto my palm and guided him up so I could rub it along my length.

Without a word, Jack reached behind him to pull my hand out, hissing a little as my fingers dragged out of him. Looking back at me, I swiped my tongue against my bottom lip and he grinned a little; we both wanted it just as badly as the other did…

I held him firmly by the hips as he slid forward, feeling the wetness graze over him until he had it positioned where he wanted it. I grabbed myself and kept it steady as Jack wriggled around, trying to get it in. He managed to push down on the tip, and once it was in, slid himself down slowly, his head lolling backwards and his mouth falling slack as I stretched him fully.

"Ah…fuck," I hissed once I was fully in. I reached up and pulled him forward by the back of the neck to encapsulate him into a kiss again.

Jack let me happily suck on his tongue as he rocked slowly on top of me, using his thighs to push up and letting gravity pull himself onto me.

I let him continue this for awhile as he adjusted, but I realized that I wasn't really feeling much from this angle. He was too lightweight.

"This isn't going to work," I grumbled as I wrapped my arms under his knees.

Jack let out a yelp as I lifted him up, light as could be, and I pulled his weight into me, pressing myself fully against him. Jack threw his head back and grasped wildly at my shoulders until he had a firm enough grip to hold himself steady.

"You alright?" I asked as he panted heavily on top of me. But he was seemingly unable to respond with words, only a slow nod of his head. I thrust my hips up a few times, making Jack cry out. "Yeah...this is so much better," I muttered as I lifted him up and then rammed him back into me, taking his breath away. His arms were wrapped around me, and I leaned over to suck on the pale skin as I steadily thrust into him.

"More...Jamie," he grunted, his fingertips burning cold on my neck. I groaned in response and sped up my movements. He felt amazing. The natural coolness of his body became tantalizing and the longer I was inside him, the warmer he became.

"You're so good," I gritted out. "Fuck, so good…"

"Mmm," Jack responded and I felt him squeeze around my cock, eliciting a gasp from me. I wasn't certain whether he did that on purpose or not, but I rewarded him with a sudden change of angle, leaning him back a little more as I thrust against his spot. Jack gasped and I felt his legs starting to shake, my hands grasping his shoulder blades firmly as I thrusted into him hard.

Trusting that I would hold him, he let one of his hands go so he could reach down and grasp himself, timing his strokes to each of my thrusts. His eyes were squeezed shut and he bit his lip. The way his body was tensing and clenching around me, I knew he was close.

In a moment, he cried out loudly and clamped down on me, me still moving frantically inside him. He released himself and fell against me, as he was completely spent, and I held him tight with both hands as I delivered three, short jabs before biting his shoulder and emptying myself into him.

"Oh fuck," I moaned softly as I finally pulled out of him. He turned himself around until his back was pressed against my chest, my chin resting on his head. I smiled and nuzzled into his tufty hair, breathing in his scent in my afterglow as snowflakes gently fell on my skin.

 

Several moments passed of me just mesmerized in the moment. All worries were forgotten and all I wanted was to hold him forever…

"You ready to sleep, bud?" he asked gently as he stroked my arm.

Ah right...sleep. The exhaustion was creeping up onto me, and I was thankful for his attention to that detail. I nodded against his head and he got up to retrieve the dreamsand from the closet. I stood up to pull on some pajamas and I noticed he had picked up his pants from the floor, but then reached behind him as if realizing something.

"Uh…" he said awkwardly and I could tell he was blushing a little again. "Do you have a towel I could use?"

My face also grew warm once I realized what he meant. "Y-Yeah," I fumbled around to grab an old towel for him so he could clean himself off a little. "Here," I said as I handed it to him.

He smiled slightly, a little forced I also noticed. Oh no...was he disgusted by it? It's not like he finished the same way, maybe he was…

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Jack asked sheepishly as he tossed the towel in my hamper and bent to pull on his pants.

"I'm sorry," I said, my face burning up.

"For what?" he pressed, forgetting about his hoodie and walking towards me. He reached forward and pulled our hips together, almost as if to show me he was still comfortable with what we were doing.

"I...can let you into our bathroom if you want to shower…" I trailed off, hating myself for being so indirect all the time.

He smiled kindly at me and replied, "Maybe tomorrow. You look exhausted."

I  **was**  exhausted… "Alright," I said and he leaned up to "nip" me on the nose again, making me smile.

...

**~F~**

Jamie slept well that night. He took his pain medication and then asked to be also put to sleep with the dreamsand. Something about it making him drowsy…

Part of me didn't believe him, but then I admittedly didn't know much about modern medicine.

He slept leaning against me with his arm around my middle. As time went on, I found that I had gotten used to his warmth. In fact, whenever he left I found myself craving it. So I didn't mind sitting for hours by his side, stroking his hair. I could tell it helped him rest easier…

Jamie groaned softly and nuzzled into my bare side, making me smile. It was nice to see him so at peace. Not a worry in the world… I leaned down and kissed his head.

A twittering sound alerted me and I looked up at the window to see Baby Tooth flitting about outside.

_Oh crap…_

Realizing I was in a somewhat compromising position, I carefully slid out from Jamie's grasp and glided over to open the window while putting on my hoodie.

"Hey...Baby Tooth," I greeted her while rubbing the back of my neck. "What...brings you here?" I asked trying to feign innocence on the off-chance the little fairy didn't suspect anything.

She chirped and gestured, pointing at Jamie and then at me, implying she wanted to know what was going on.

"Nothing's going  _on,_ " I said with a smile, hoping to charm the little sprite.

She crossed her arms and before I could stop her, she zoomed around the room.

"Hey!" I whisper-shouted at her and reflexively shot several clouds of ice in an attempt to capture her, but evidently freezing some of Jamie's belongings instead. "Just stop, alright?"

She flitted to a few select places, clearly looking for something, but after having had given up she flew in front of me with a look that could kill if it weren't coming from something that was only a couple inches tall.

Gesturing and squeaking wildly (while her face grew unusually red), she indicated that she had seen Jamie and me kissing.

"You were spying on me?" I asked growing angry at her.

She shook her head and negated strongly with her arms. She went on to say that she came for Jamie's wisdom teeth and happened to see us.

I sighed and rubbed a hand over my face. This was the last thing that needed to happen right now. And I fought the embarrassment when I wondered how much she had seen exactly...

"Look...Baby Tooth…" I started carefully, "I'm going to need you to do me a big favor."

She cocked her head at me in curiosity and waited for me to continue.

"I'm going to ask you to keep what you saw a secret from Toothiana and the other Guardians."

That seemed to upset her as her eyes grew wide and she squeaked indignantly.

"Nonono," I started as I reached up to hold her in my hands and raise her up to my face, "Please...think of it as the favor you said you owed me." The little thing was so grateful to me for saving her life years ago that she had been offering to do small favors for me whenever they presented themselves; and I had always turned her down. Part of me felt dirty for resorting to such a low level like this...it's not like I had been holding her in debt to me for doing something I felt was right. But I also really didn't want any of them to find out about Jamie and me… I shuddered to think of the lecture that North would give me…

Baby Tooth looked at me sympathetically, obviously still conflicted.

"I know how hard it is for you to hide this from everyone," I continued in an attempt at persuasion. "But I'm not ready for them to know yet. Please try to understand..."

She continued to stare up at me with big doe eyes and looked at Jamie before looking back at me, making a heart gesture with her hands.

I nodded my head in confirmation and she almost looked like she was having heart palpitations.

"So you won't tell them?" I asked, needing clear affirmation from her.

She smiled and nodded her head at me, causing me to break into a smile as well. "Thanks Baby Tooth," I replied in gratitude.

She hovered up to my cheek and lightly kissed it, almost as if she were giving her blessing. Then she asked about Jamie's teeth.

"I don't know where they are…" I answered. "I'll ask him and then I'll put them under his pillow for you. Sound good?"

She nodded her head in agreement before zipping out the window, off to her next appointment.

I breathed a sigh of relief and shut the window as she left. I knew I could trust Baby Tooth.

Looking back over at Jamie, I grappled with whether I would want to tell any of the Guardians. Cue already knew, but Cue wasn't a Guardian. I also doubted Cue would say anything. I still didn't trust zim, but Cue at least seemed to understand my desire for privacy. Other than that...I considered talking to Sandy about it. I trusted Sandy probably the most.

However… I walked back over and eased in next to Jamie again, his arms readily accepting my presence in spite of his dream state. There was no good reason to tell them other than to clear my conscience. And besides...Jamie was still shaken up from my dream. If everyone found out...I didn't want to stress him out any more than I already had. I could live with it. It's not like I hadn't already been living with weighted secrets as it was…

Jamie squeezed me against him in his sleep, showing that whatever worries he had couldn't touch him under the dream sand. Couldn't come between what we had...

 _No..._  I decided as I returned to stroking his hair.  _This secret was worth keeping._

…

…

**~B~**

I woke up feeling more refreshed than I had in a long time. Jack was sitting up next to me, resting peacefully while he absentmindedly stroked my hair. However, it was only once I stirred that I realized I had been drooling on his hoodie.

I rolled over in an attempt at distancing myself from my uncontrollable bodily functions and stretched to indicate I was awake.

"Morning," he greeted me in amusement.

"Hey," I said as I sat up and raised my arms above my head to stretch out my spine. Then I glanced at the clock and realized I had class in an hour.

Sighing and standing, I robotically went over to fetch a clean towel and go take a shower. However, when I turned around, I found Jack watching me carefully.

"What's up?" I asked, wondering what was causing that scrutinizing look on his face.

He shook his head as if trying to wake himself up, before looking at me and smiling somewhat sheepishly. "Nothing," he replied as he rubbed the back of his head.

Shrugging off his weirdness, I left my bedroom to walk into our unit's bathroom. Jack had promised he wouldn't ever leave me alone; however, I insisted that he didn't follow me into the bathroom. I had to draw the line somewhere and there were a few things I'd rather not share with him.

I took a fast shower and, as has become habit, inspected the back of my hand where Jack's snowflake was imprinted. It shimmered in the morning light and felt cool to the touch in comparison to the rest of my skin. But I liked it. It made me feel connected to him.

Stepping out the shower and drying myself off, I wrapped the towel around my waist and moved to the sink to brush my teeth, letting myself zone out in the monotony of my daily routine. Except I only focused on one thing...the memory of Jack riding my fingers and gasping when I rubbed his prostate...how he had managed to take me all way into his throat on the first go...Spirits must not have had gag reflexes then huh…

A movement in the mirror caught my eye and made me pause. Did that shadow move…?

I turned around to inspect it more closely, but as soon as I did...it was gone. Whipping around the look back in the mirror, the shadow had disappeared from there as well…

Strange…

I quickly spit and didn't even bother rinsing my mouth as I vacated the bathroom. My heart was racing and I couldn't figure out why. I didn't see anything. There was nothing there. I was-

"Jamie, you ok?" Jack asked once I had reentered my room.

I must have been sporting a weird look on my face, for I instantly tried to shake it off and smile at him.

"Yeah, fine," I said as I hurriedly got dressed and grabbed my backpack. "I'm just going to be late for class if I don't hurry."

…

…

**~M~**

The only class that all three of us shared was our first year writing course. It was required by the university and all of us intentionally made sure that we signed up for the same section. I personally liked writing, and I knew Jamie did as well, but Ashley hated it. He rambled on and on how it was a waste of time and money and that the university was just trying to stiff us with worthless requirements instead of letting us focus on our degree plans...which...he might not have been completely wrong. However, I also found value in making sure that people knew how to write properly and cohesively. Sure, it cost money to take the course, but I wouldn't go as far to say it was worthless.

The two of them sat on either side of me in the lecture hall. Ashley on my left, busy scrolling through Reddit on his computer not listening at all, and Jamie on my right, who was actually trying to pay attention. He took notes in a notebook that appeared to be meticulously organized by roman numerals. I had to give it to him, Jamie was probably the smartest out of all of us. At least when it came to school. I could beat his ass in video games almost any day.

But then my mind drifted back to the night of the party. I wasn't going to lie in that I was hoping that Jamie and his high school crush would hit it off. Which was why I had left them alone once Jamie had taken a couple chill pills and some liquid courage to calm himself down. What I wasn't expecting was the sudden panic attack. Was it the darkness that triggered it? Maybe...It explained why he was always so hesitant to be out anywhere after dark. I had put the pieces together a while ago on that. He never had a cut-off time exactly, but he would make up some excuse to go home or back to the dorm when it was sunset. I wondered what had happened to Jamie in the dark that made him so afraid of it.

But it had been several weeks and he never wanted to talk about it. I felt that Jamie and I had become closer than anyone else I had in my life. Even Ashley or Cupcake. And even though he confessed a lot to me, I just knew that there was a lot more to it. I knew that Jamie was struggling with his orientation, and maybe that was more stressful to him than I realized. However, I had this underlying suspicion that he was keeping something from me. Something big...He had become a lot jumpier since the party. One time I even rushed into the bathroom after hearing him scream, thinking that he had fallen. But there was nothing wrong...he was just staring disoriented off into the mirror. It took several minutes for me to pull him back together.

The professor ambled off into an explanation of the latest book that was assigned. Jamie stopped writing and leaned forward as if he were interested in what he was talking about. Me on the other hand, was only half listening. The book wasn't that interesting to me to begin with, and I had already buried myself too deeply into my thoughts. He then reiterated for the tenth time what was expected out of our final paper which we would write as our final exam. But then I saw the look on Jamie's face. He was staring wide-eyed at the professor. Almost like he was scared…

My first worry was that he was having another panic attack. I followed his line of sight to see that he was looking more off to the side of where the professor was standing...except I couldn't tell what was so interesting to grab his attention like this.

"Jamie…" I whispered to him trying to get his attention, but he ignored me.

Instead, his eyes grew the widest I had ever seen them and before I could blink, he stood up and shouted, "DON'T DO IT!"

A pall fell on everyone in the lecture hall. A hundred faces turned and stared up at Jamie, who was the only student standing in the rows of seats and also the source of the interruption. As if suddenly realizing where he was and what he'd done, he snapped back into it. "I'm...I'm sorry," he apologized as he grabbed his books before briskly disappearing out the main door.

"Sorry…" I apologized as well before grabbing both my coat and his forgotten one and leaving out the door to find him. As I left, he had already made his way across the first floor and was quickly exiting the building. A crowd was starting to form as one of the classes was let out and I bumped into about a dozen people, constantly excusing myself or apologizing as I tried to keep him in my line of sight.

Gasping as I burst out of the building, I searched desperately for him across the large courtyard. The cold bit into my skin, but I wasn't preoccupying myself with putting on my coat. I needed to know where he went.

Off to the the side, I saw someone ducking out into the forest that divided our campus up with one of the nearby highways. I took off in that direction, trying and failing not to run into people, before dashing up the snow-covered hill that led into the thicket.

"Jamie!" I called as I crested the hill and saw him hurrying off into the deepest part of the woods. Breaking out into a run, I hurried to catch up with him. "JAMIE!" I yelled desperately trying to get his attention, but he continued to ignore me.

"Jamie, stop!" I commanded as I ran as fast as I could to him. "Stop, stop, stopstopstop," I said as I circled in front of him panting furiously. I didn't think I had ever run so fast in my life…

"Leave me alone," he said and I could tell he was choking back tears.

"You'll freeze, idiot," I said coughing dryly as I tossed him his coat while also shoving my arms into my coat sleeves, the down feathers instantly trapping my warmth as I shivered against the biting cold. "Now tell me what that was about," I demanded. This had gone on long enough. I had respected Jamie's privacy on matters and even went along with his lies, but this was beyond self-medication and a need to be alone. The big thing he was keeping from me was affecting him too much.

"It's nothing." he stated flatly as he attempted to shoulder past me.

I almost let him go. Almost brush me aside as if we weren't even friends. But something ignited in me that caused the scales to tip.

"Bullshit," I growled as I grabbed his sleeve and held him there. "We're  **best friends** , Jamie," I breathed in desperation, trying to search his face for any answers whatsoever. "I know that something has been bothering you for a while now and it's killing me to see you like this."

He ripped his arm away from me angrily and yelled, "I'm not crazy!"

That left me dumbstruck, my arms falling limply to my sides. "I never said you were…" I whispered.

Jamie glared at me with a fire in his eyes, his chest rising and falling heavily as he seemed to be debating whether to run or fight me.

"I want to  **help** you, Jamie," I continued in his indecisiveness. "Whatever's going on, please just tell me and I...I won't judge you for it. I'll still be your friend, I swear."

He sniffed deeply and raised his hands to his forehead while looking up at the sky. At first I thought he wasn't going to answer, but then I distinctly heard him mumble, "You won't believe me even if I did."

"I'll believe  **you,** " I promised, taking several steps to reorient myself in front of him. "I promise. Whatever you say you're going through, I'll believe you."

His breath hitched as he sucked in air before he looked down at me, his face distraught. He searched my eyes for several moments, as if trying to gauge how serious I was. But I stared him down, trying to convince him.

"I…" his voice caught in his throat and he swallowed once before admitting, "I see things. Things no one else can."

Alright...like schizophrenia. I figured there was something like that going on. The distant gazing at something that wasn't there...When he didn't notice me, I've even caught him talking to air as if he was having a conversation with it.

"What kind of things?" I asked, trying to figure out what had caused him to scream out to an entire auditorium of people.

"Do you remember the Guardians?" he asked quietly and my brows furrowed together in confusion.

"From when we were kids?" I asked remembering vaguely when we used to play pretend with all our friends.

He nodded slowly, suddenly avoiding my gaze and looking down at the glistening snow. "North, the Tooth Fairy, Sandman, the Easter Bunny...and Jack Frost," he whispered just loud enough for us to hear, "I see and hear all of them. They talk to me."

I lowered my voice as well so as not to alarm him. "And that's what you saw in class today?" I asked in reference to him staring off to the side of the professor.

He shook his head slowly. "No...recently I've been starting to see something else. It's...following me and it…" he paused, biting his lip, before coughing to clear his throat. "It wants to hurt people," he whispered.

"How do you know that?" I whispered back at him, angling my head to get him to look at me.

He met my gaze and answered, "Because they all want to. They're like...shadows. Following everyone. Waiting until they're weak enough."

He was terrified, that much I could see. And even though I knew all of this was in his head, it still freaked me out. Even if it wasn't real, it was real to Jamie. And thinking that there were shadows following everyone...that he was in danger all the time. It's not surprising he reacted the way he did.

Choosing my words carefully, I asked him, "What was the shadow doing?"

He didn't even blink or break eye contact with me as he answered, "It was pointing a gun at Professor Mills."

Holy  _fucking_ hell.

"And you're sure nothing else was causing the shadow?" I asked, my first thought being that there was a loose gunman in the building we just rushed out of.

He shook his head, negating my worries. He seemed to know that this was in his head, but the fear of it actually coming to fruition was horrific.

"Come here," I said opening my arms and pulling him into me. I wrapped my arms around him, almost needing human contact just as much as he did after going through all of that. "Thanks for telling me," I said honestly. And I meant it. It was obviously difficult for him and I didn't want him to think that I was going to reject him for it.

A pair of eyes off to the side caught my attention over Jamie's shoulder. A guy was standing nearby leaning against a tree, just watching us.

I cleared my throat and pulled back, "Urgh, sorry." I said, apologizing for being caught performing PDA with some guy in the middle of the forest. "I didn't know anyone was…" but I trailed off once I looked back and realized he was...gone.

"What?" Jamie asked me as he watched me staring off into the distance, turning his head as he tried to find what I was looking at.

"Nothing," I uttered softly as I stared off at the empty tree. "Thought I saw someone."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **AH! Did you figure it out yet? ;)**
> 
> **I'm sorry for taking so long to post, I used to be much better at it.**
> 
> **But thank you all for your reviews, follows, and favorites.**
> 
> **They remind me that I still have a reason to post more chapters.**
> 
> **SO! Since you took a few minutes to read this chapter,**
> 
> **maybe take a few more and tell me what you think? :]**


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